good sleep

i have been away from internet for about a week now.

since i'm moving, i need to shift my streamyx account address to the new one.
and you know TMnet... they closed off my account last last monday, and now when i called them, they said they were still checking if my new address is compatible for streamyx. hallelujah.

no internet is good for health. it makes you sleep faster. like really fast. I've been sleeping at 12, or even 10 nowadays.





1723
*hint 2: I put this in for Self-esteem Purpose.

good sleep

i have been away from internet for about a week now.

since i'm moving, i need to shift my streamyx account address to the new one.
and you know TMnet... they closed off my account last last monday, and now when i called them, they said they were still checking if my new address is compatible for streamyx. hallelujah.

no internet is good for health. it makes you sleep faster. like really fast. I've been sleeping at 12, or even 10 nowadays.


1723
*hint 2: I put this in for Self-esteem Purpose.

bleeding

i really shouldn't peel my lips.





1633
*hint1 : this number will not decrease.

happiness scale 2

since nobody (except Swei) did the tag, might as well tag someone closest to me now in my room.

peter's happy scale

10 - pissing tatsuki off by crossing his territory
10 - looking at tatsuki reproachfully as he pretends to study
20 - stamping my foot under tatsuki's bed while he is sleeping
50 - i succeed in making him wake up
10 - eating
20 - eating bananas
50 - bite tatsuki.
50 - step on tatsuki's face while he is asleep on the floor

-100 - when i get thrown out to the veranda after i shat on tatsuki's mom's bedsheets
-50 - when tatsuki messes with my toilet. (i like the sand as it is thank you very much and don't step into my territory)
-10 - when tatsuki touches me. he is always up to no good i tell you
-10 - when tatsuki tries to give me food. nice try, fuckface.
-20 - when tatsuki flings cloths infront of my face. don't fuck with me.




my rabbit hates me i tell you.


1584

inspirations

when i tell people to update their blogs, they tell me "but i do not have any inspirations".

i never realised you needed inspiration to write blog entries. it is probably because my blog is more of an outlet of brain-tumour-forming puss that is thoughts, where all that end up here is all that unwanted rubbish thoughts and perhaps when people see it, they can boost their self-esteem marginally higher by sneering at my illiteracy and stupidity....

no wonder why their blogs were quite interesting to read. really. compared to mine.

as for me, i don't think i have had any inspiration, never in my life. at least, not the sophisticated kind. i have inspirations to breathe fire and electrocute myself but not words.

inspirations... perhaps they won't hit me till i stop and think, or smoke pot, or start talking baffling gibberish. (now you know who said they need inspiration)



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

just now i got a call from some of my friends saying they just finished watching KLpac Shakespeare, very sweet of them. really made my day.
i hope you kind people have all the best stuff in life... (if i believed in god i would say god bless you all, but i don't think i have the privilege... and sounds too american too)

sounds like i am dying. maybe i am.
feeling too... emotional today. (in a happy sense)

family business

well eng.lit was cancelled, so i was like, darn, but i can go home and sleep.

i went home, and my mom was planning to help a family friend do business at craft centre. they make hampars to firms and stuff.


so i built boxes for 4 hours. 11->4 straight.



my back hurts.

and after that i learnt how to make ketupats since they teach you for free.

and after that, i got a call from housing agent that he cannot give us the key yet again (supposed to be in last monday), my mom flips out, gets paranoid that we're being robbed off of our 12000RM, and has nowhere to stay from october. i tell agent that we are really, really upset, hangs up, and take a nap.


my mom wakes me up. she is still paranoid. i call the agent. tells him to give me tommorow or else....
really it sucks being in the middle-man. i really feel for the agent since he gets complaints from both us and the landlord. appearently the cheque didin't reach landlord so tenancy agreement not signed.



i think this is the first entry of blog where i actually wrote what i did during the day. life is shit, but i am alive so i am very happy. happy happy.

1525 <- ??

thoughts

you know, (i hate starting a blog with this phrase. it is so mundane)

you know, sometimes i get this urge to try something. like throwing a CD from my window (and this happened when i was holding my favourite Helloween CD...), setting fire to a matchBOX, bending a flourescent tube (it implodes), open every drawer of my room and laugh, etc etc.

a very recent one is "what if i threw a hair-drier into a tub of water with me in it?".

no i am not suicidal. (amd no not insecure, thankyouverymuch.)
that is why i cannot do it... at least with the malaysian 210v (is it?) mains.... maybe the japanese 110v could be less fatal, but hey, im not in japan.


its like, will i jump up? will i just cramp up? twitch twitch? or nothing?


oh yeah,

there is this thing called "electric bath" in japanese public bath near my house in jpn, and its kind of like a weak pulsating electricity going thru electrode on both end of a small compartment of bath.

when i sit there, i feel my muscles contracting, like i am being puppeted by a puppeteer (or feel like a muppet muppeted by a muppeteer) because my arms and legs get raised. when i put my head in, i get super-headaches, when i lie deep i get temporary cardiac arrest-ish kind of thing.

i think i know what would happen if i threw a hair-drier into a bathtub now. so i don't have to try it now. haha.
(i also hate ending with "haha" it makes me look like an idiot. but i am one, so haha.)

.

i don't feel like studying and i hate to waste other people's time, so I'll craft my pencil for now...

(oh noes, the motto of this blog was to waste people's time! well, we all live in contradiction so screw logic with a 10mm bolt.)




2000

note

mental note - IOAEPRM10

dream diary 12

i was in a post-22nd century earth, which was nearly uninhabitable due to heavy pollution. we lived in a shelter-colony that is dug underground.

there were speculations of a "DNA-altering" pandemic disease, which spreads so fast due to highly congested colonies, which proved to be true. everyone was getting sick, millions infected in each second.

i looked around and there were sick people all around, most of them not moving at all now, but some were still alive.
and i noticed that i was dissolving, my body lost density somehow, vision milky, and my mind dissolved into a white mist as well.


it was some really long time of nothingness, sort of like a dreamless sleep.
well, which i did not realise its duration till later in the story of the dream.

looking around, i saw nothing. a vast white space, without ceiling or anything.
but i realised that i had one piece of paper crumpled in my hand.

hope

it was written in a barely noticeable thin ink, sort of showing how much hope humankind had, in that situation i explained earlier.

but what is this place? there is nothing at all, nothing.

it was silent, so blatantly silent that it seemed like i was in a vacuum.
it was neither hot nor cold. this is pretty weird, since you usually feel slightly cold or hot, there is no such thing as complete loss of sense of heat. it was also weird that my body temperature was constant throughout my body, for example, if i touch my neck i should feel warm in my hand and slightly cold in my neck, but it was just the sense of touch i felt.

right when i was feeling pretty much on the brink of becoming slightly mad, my body started to dissolve again.


i was back again at the shelter-colony, however the whole place was void of people, sick or healthy. i also noticed a distinct layer of dust that has sedimented everywhere, showing how much time has elapsed since i left, or dissolved.
i was clean, though. and there were no longer anything in my palm.


that was when i woke up, in my dream.

apparently i was in a kind of a "absolute zero machine" as they call it, some kind of preservative device that is overused in Science fiction. but the one that i came out was fashioned with the picture of mummy. i think they were trying to be funny on that one.

i smelled like ice. i pulled off some sort of electrode from my head, which was really unpleasant, since the electrodes seem to be embedded in my brain. a thin, long wire came out of my head with a numbing sensation.

i stood up, and noticed there were some people around. i didn't have to ask. i knew, somehow,(probably the electrodes told me) that we were the only survivors of the disease, and we were preserved because the computer said we were some of the people with the fewest DNA misplacement due to the disease. (that means we did have the disease and we're going to die anyway, but slower)

so we gathered around in a circle, around this little A4 paper and held hands for god knows what reason.

the A4 paper said

by the time all of you wake up, enough time has elapsed since the great pollution and it will be once again inhabitable on earth. the purpose of you is to provide fragments of DNA so that the machine can distribute a complete set of human DNA, so that humanity can once again flourish.



after a speechless conversation, we have decided that we do not do this.

it involved no emotions.


1447

question 3

i wonder why the numbers on the calculators and mobilephones are oppositely placed.

there is no such thing as a win-win situation.

it seems that, when someone points something out in your fashion, you feel very... uneasy and want to show that you're not, by refusing to comfirm to their suggestions (or strong suggestions). but we really are feeling like a mistake, we try to hide them you see.

especially when the suggestion is coming from someone who is thought to have more fashion sense than you (well in my case, everyone since my fashion sense is..... well i have nothing to say to describe my fashion sense. i wear the same jeans for a week and im ok with that.)

I wonder why is it so difficult to say "yeah whatever, i won't wear that again" or "yeah you are tow-tally correct!"? perhaps its because in terms of cloths you already bought them, just like having bought a book that you found out later that is famous for hidiousity of its plot. you have to read them to make yourself believe that you are not wasting your money. or in the case of like, hairstyle or so, you are afraid to change what you already are.

i guess its more the people say its bad, you'd want to keep it.

the point im trying to make is, well,

i take my beanie off if pia gets threading



its a lose-lose situation but there is more glory in a losing battle (or, whatever)

haha.




1387 <- some people still don't realise what this means

its just a piece of cloth

people are freaking paranoid of my beanie.


1323

symmetry

...is not necessarily pleasent.

dream diary 11

It has been a while. It has been a while.



so i was walking along this rural road, with my friends. it was understood that we had to travel a long distance on foot.

there was a strong wind blowing, kind thats not so unfriendly because of the warmness.
i found an umbrella tumbling along, so i catched it, and opened it towards the direction of the wind.

my feet slid, kinda like water-skating being pulled by parachutes on water.
I was at a momentary state of fear, but i got used to it in a split second...

so I let go of the ground, so i was pulled unto open air, leaving my friends behind.

everything below me seemed to get smaller, i could see the distant rice-fields.
at this point, i felt that it would be nice to travel closer to ground since falling from a high altitude would be... well, fatal.

so i pointed my umbrella down, but the wind was so strong it was quite difficult to navigate myself, although i succeed after lots of tumbling and free-falling.

so i devised this method which would stabilise my flight, which was a sort of twisting motion, like that of a rifle bullet.

I twist my body, twist, twist, twist, and i would go very fast, in straight path.

so i tried landing, by rolling forward (and i thought, thank goodness i learn judo.)
which i succeed, i was in some sort of an unfinished rice-field in the process of planting shoots of rice. I saw one farmer, looking tired as a monkey left out in the rain.

i thought hey, my friends are far, far behind, let me help this piece of farmland. so I planted the shoots, plant plant plant for about a couple of days or so, and i finished the whole rice-field. (and you know japanese rice-fields, they're not as big as american ones so you can manage)
the farmer looked at me, and said "you should be doing your business now."

i suddenly remembered about my friends. where would they be?
so I found my umbrella, which was discarded in the middle of wiff-waffing young shoots of rice (which was already waist-height, to my surprise. didin't i just plant them?) and set off, riding and twisting in the wind.

i felt the young shoots of rice beat against the umbrella, and my body as i tumbled thru the air.

so flew along roads of dirt and grass, found my friends, and tumbled down onto the ground between them. it feels good to tumble on the ground. almost as good as the air. it hurts but in an assuring way.

"oh its you." said my friends.
"seems like so" said I.

and we walked. (no chatting in my dreams) and i got bored of walking.


and i opened my umbrella.



1264

personality test

i got this link from Dex,

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

its a personality test that's supposed to be fairly accurate,
i took it, and got INTJ, the "mastermind".

quote;

Your temperament is the Rational.
Rationals (NTs) are rare, making up
no more than 5 to 10 percent of the
population. But because of their drive
to unlock the secrets of nature and to
develop new technologies, they have
done much to shape the world. Your
particular personality type, the
Mastermind (INTJ), is even scarcer.
Individuals of your type make up
little more than 2-3% of the total
population.

whoo-pee-doo. im rare.

All Rationals are solid planners, but Masterminds are head and shoulders above
the rest when it comes to complex operations planning. Your type seems to have
an innate ability to grasp a project's necessary progression and understand how
each step leads to the next. You can also be first-rate when it comes to
anticipating potential difficulties and preparing alternatives. By trying to imagine
every contingency, you'll almost never set off on a project without a more than
one plan in mind. If Plan A fails, you'll move directly along to Plan B.
you may not always be eager to take
command. Most times you'll prefer to stay in the background until it's been
demonstrated that you're the only person who's equal to the task.

Rationals can sometimes seem cold and distant to others. It's not that they don't care about the
people around them. It's simply that they're more oriented toward ingenuity and
results, than toward interpersonal exploration.

I'm not too sure if this is true... If I were as intelligent as what this test would portray, I wouldn't go firebreathing or front-flipping for kicks, risking my life for it.

"oriented towards ingenuity and results, than toward interpersonal exploration" huh. it makes me a cold bugger who seeks merits in friendship more than companionship


my friends' results were all NT types, the rationalists. (i thought they were rare?)



taking personality test is a good way to fill space in a blog... you don't really have to write anything!

happiness scale

i don't like most of the tags' questions, so i made one.

rules:
simple. make your own happiness scale, with each of moments of happiness, and your measure of happiness. do as many as you want.

-happiness scale-

8
didin't forget anything to bring to school.

10
the pen that I bought actually functions!

12
traffic jam (i can listen to music!)

15
sweet coffee.

20
shower.

30
nice food.

40
a "thank you" from a stranger.

50
waking up to realise I'm not late to school.

60
reading a book.

80
being with people

80
being alone in a quiet place.

90
excercise

100
falling asleep.

150
dream.

200
falling asleep right after waking up.

500
being healthy

510
contact sports



100
get good grades (its the process that's making the happiness)

-5
miss LRT by a split-second

-8
the pen that i bought dosen't function

-50
holiday and bored

-100
waking up early

-325
realise im late for school when waking up

-400
driving with parents (stressy)

-1000
losing.

0
driving to school to realise there is no school
(its a mixture of "shit, im an idiot" and "yey i woke up early lets use time wisely")

-1000
waking after a long nap (holy flying saucer i just napped 6 hours, i could have saved the world twice during instead of that)

i went out

yeah.

just now i drove to school. had to check on road condition and remember how to go to school, make sure the car works and stuff. and oh i needed to re-fuel the car.

you wouldn't believe how empty the road was. it was like being in war of the worlds where nobody has a functional car, or bio hazard where everyone's turned to zombie.

it was quite an unnerving sight.
(no, not in the sense of "have I done it again".... no not at all)