Finally fulfil my promise to Mary met her 2day.. We went bugis for diner den chat for like 2hrs.. Mm.. Schools gonna reopen.. Wonder when I'll see tis dear fren of mine again.. We were sayin we both felt for de 1st time tt tis current one has a different feelins compare to our past exs.. Pretty xin fu for now.. Haha.. We're 2pretty happy person.. 1more day & I'll be off to Gentin w baby for countdown.. Our 1st one 2gether & de trip to gentin 2wks ago bought us closer.. Feel so flooded in love.. >.<

*PS: Promise bb to sing KTV w her in Gentin.. Phoff.. So nervous.. Scared I sound horrible.. 1st time singin w her wor..

Baby's dad went nuts yday nite & screamed at her bro.. Yes.. Scream.. Stupid man.. Really dun like him.. My baby cried.. So heartache.. Like it's burnin my heart like tt.. =o::::(
2day her dad went crazy & scolded her too.. 1st time I felt my mum is such a nice old lady.. She cried & ask bb dun cry when she saw her tearin at a corner.. I was so touched to tears.. Mummy even told her to stay der & call home once in a while to check if bb mum is ok..
My mum.. Sigh.. I love her but I dunno how to express myself at times.. Bb say I'm not an expressive person.. I knw ah.. But certain tgs dun haf to show it..
Like bb was mad at me for not offerin to let her stay.. But she dinno I "tou tou" go to de kitchen & explain 2mummy bb's situation & to let her stay for de time bein.. Mum agreed instantly!! >.<
Bb.. I love u.. I'm tryin to put in my 100%.. And no matter wat.. I'm by yr side now.. Forever mah? I dunno.. As long as we love each other..
I love u very much now.. U can feel it & I'm so glad u like my x'mas pressie.. Muackz..

Baby made these for me.. So cool.. She rox.. I rox.. We both rox..


Now I knw why she was so stress liao.. bearbear, star, vase is made of newpapers, others include bulbs, ice cream sticks.. etc.. So touch.. I love u baby.. It's a different feelin for X'mas tis year.. Muackz.. >.< Why did I put tis? Dunno.. I tink I look quite cute in tis.. Haha.. I zi lian?! U bet I am.. Hehe..

Baby made smtg for me for X'mas.. Hehe.. That's de spirit of X'mas.. Bb is a little moody cos de tg din work out well, she gotta redo.. But I'm touched.. It's smtg $$ cant buy in tis world & it's de one & only one that exist in de whole universe.. Love my baby.. Cant wait to go gentin again this thursday.. >.<

I'm havin a sore throat!! Aggghh.. But.. I'm goin back to gentin for countdown w dear dear.. Cant wait man.. And.. Mummy is super duper fine w it.. LOL.. >.<

Back frm gentin w baby.. Hehe.. Was such a nice trip thou I made bb angry once or twice.. Won a little at casino & we're tinkin of goin back der for de countdown.. Bb took de space shot w me.. Plunge frm a height of ard 25 storey.. Even I was a little scared.. But bb took it w me even thou she HATES takin tis kinda ride.. She nv fail to make me happy.. Bb.. I love u v v v v v v much, u knw mah? Cant wait for X'mas.. My aunt invite bb to come celebrate it w us..

Sch's gonna reopen soon.. Gotta get busy & start savin for our Europe trip nxt year 2gether.. Dun work too hard bb.. U must get yr destinction again for tis sem, I'll try to save as much as possible.. Muackz.. Loveeeeee ya.. cant wait to celebrate our 1st X'mas soon.. >.<

EvErYdAy I LoVe U mOrE & mOrE
LiStEn To My HeArT, cAn U HeAr It sInG?
TeLLiNg Me To GiF U EvErYtHiNg..
SeAsOnS MaY cHaNgE, wInTeR tO SpRiNg..
BuT I'LL LoVe U UnTiL dE EnD oF TiMe..

I'm gonna leave for gentin now.. So excited.. Havent been der for so long.. >.<

Felt extremely in love past few days.. So in love that bein aslp is sad.. Cos I cant see my bb..
Sigh.. Gd things dun last?? Is it true? Constantly ask myself.. 1/2 de passion juz died.. Wrong on my part I knw v well.. But de threat made my heart sank to rock bottom.. Caused my brain 2b in a mess again.. Nvm abt it.. Will come to terms w it soon & not touch de site for a wk, if not.. Watever.. Goin back to my X'mas gift.. Feel like cryin & thrashin de walls.. Ha.. Nitez pple..

Went Zouk yday.. 1/2way through de show, I thot I saw Ling walk past but told myself it cant be.. Bump into Shelley, den she told me she saw ling!! Wat de hell.. was searchin for her all nite.. Den when I was walkin to de staircase, I thot I saw her back view.. Followed her to de door & der she is.. Looks like she like dear dear.. Was such a sweet feelin at de club.. I love my bb!!!! Love u!!!

I neglected dear dear feelins again.. Once thot that love is juz as long as I love u & u love me that's it.. But things ain't like that.. Sigh.. I'm so sorry baby.. And I've planned to haf a great christmas this year.. All had been planned properly & now juz waitin for it to fall into place..
Mm.. Bought a ring I really like yday.. Went out w Est, Ju & bb.. Yawn.. Beta get back to my stuff.. Stil look like a pile of work for me.. Like nv gonna end kinda tg.. LOL.. but I'm enjoyin it & definately.. definately puttin my heart in when I do each & every1 of it.. I love u baby.. So sorry.. >.<

So tired 2day.. Me & dear dear maple all nite.. Den we went for mac breakfast at 9am, den went bank to change bank bk.. Took so long.. Waste my time.. Aft tt went rivervale mall got "I am Sam", "Dirty dancin 2" & "Polar Express"(I wanted to feel de x'mas again.. Cant wait for it to come!!".. 1/2 way through dirty dancin, dear went to Dreamland & I joined her aft tryin 2get sm work done but doze off..

Planned a small small surprise for BB durin X'mas.. Mm.. Keep tinkin baby.. Haha.. ^_^ Cramp liao.. Sian.. Why must woman suffer??? Why must I SUFFFFFFERRRRRRRR!!!!

Dear Dear got a new baby.. *smilez*

Went to chalet since Friday man.. 1st one was booked by aunt florence.. Felt kinda weird throughout tt chalet.. Like rather unfriendly.. Den dear dear keep quarrelin w me.. I kept flarin up at Ju.. Esp de BBQ nite, I shouted at Ju cos I couldnt take it tt dear raised her voice tt sm woman shouted at her in public (like I was de one who shouted at her, sniff).. Den I cried..

2nd chalet we book again aft we check out.. LOL.. Was more relax.. Like Esther say, it's cursed.. Only feel like sleepin & lyin ard doin notg.. Haha.. But I felt beta thou.. Nv quarrel so much & I enjoy spendin so much time w Ju, Est, Amelia & dear dear.. Aft all de quarrels I still miss lyin down havin her stroke my hair den I fall aslp like tt.. U've no idea how comfory I felt..

Mm.. I stil wish to haf another chalet again.. Laze ard doin notg.. Haha.. Love it man!

Mm.. I bluff her that I wont b going to de chalet yday.. Thot for de whole noon how to appear at de chalet 2mrw without her gettin suspicious.. So pretend to ask for de pricin & which chalet.. Thot she might wan me to be present & a surprise would b gd, guess I was wrong with my sensitivity again..

I felt really hurt for no reason.. Tears juz rolled down uncontrollably infront of my dad.. PMS? Maybe.. Right from de start alr not myself not to........ Watever.. Feel like shuttin myself out tis wkend.. And I shall..

Freakin bad mood.. Extremely bad mood.. Fucked up day..
Gonna meet shihui for lunch, den gonna buy tons of mei zhen xiang to gorge myself to death..

你是上天给我二十七年来一份最好的礼物。
谢谢你给我那么多的快乐，谢谢你在我灰色的时间填满了色彩。
我很努力的让你快乐，希望你感受得到。
不管最终会如何，我真心希望你一辈子都会快乐。

Dear Dear had been so sweet.. Cleared all our misunderstandins all in one shot & there wasnt any more discussions, which made me feel so comfy tis days.. No more headaches frm quarrels which I really hate.. Everything is goin pretty well.. We're beginnin to understand each other more nowadays unlike previously.. Kinda haf a little telepathy..

De previous quarrels we had done us good I supppose.. Outta sudden, I felt de feelins again.. Thx for bein so supportive to everytg I do.. Thx for everytg u've done.. Thx for takin me to de doctor.. Thx for toleratin my nonsense.. Mm.. One more tg, I feel so *woman* when I'm w u.. Smtg I really enjoyed.. Dun haf to act strong.. Can pout & immediatey I get a hug.. Hehe.. Can sa jiao like u claim I do.. Haha..

And thx for watchin soccer w me no matter how tired u are.. So sick 2day.. De medicine is so strong that even typin now is like floatin.. Dear dear is in sch.. I shall go back to nap a while more..

Went to watch "Xue Lang Hu"on Fri.. Even had a little arguement with Trina b4 de show start & she cried.. Anyway, we took damn long to get der.. Left de car at Wampo den her dad drove us der.. My heart almost stop at tt moment when her dad came.. Phew.. Hope he doesnt recognise me..

After de concert, we went to sit by de river to chat.. Lotsa memories.. Hope no more quarrels, so tirin.. Tinkin back, she seldom flare up at me or mayb never (other den quarrel abt J).. Always laff when I say she's crazy, I can say watever I like.. >.<

Nowadays.. I keep sayin de wrong thing.. Sigh.. Beta tk note of wat I say..

It's our 1st mth anniversary 2day.. Dear Dear.. Thx for everytg u've done.. I hope der willl be more months & even years to come.. No one has showed me tis much love & make me feel so happy.. Muackxx..

Everything is back to normal.. Hehe.. I'm happy.. Will be spendin my Friday & sat with Dear Dear.. Mm.. 24/7.. Dear.. U not sian mah? Haha.. And thx for Maia's CD & all de breakfast u've made for me, wakin up so early in de mornin juz to stuff me w food so tat I wont be hungry on de way.. U're so so so sweet.. Muackzzzz..

I was fumin earlier on cos I was being questioned.. Haf I over-reacted? Mayb I had forgotten tat I'm attach & I'm oblige to answer questions when I'm being asked.. I'm oblige to.. I was given too much freedom in de past I guess.. Did I...? I dunno.. I wanna maple.. Promise Tricia to level for her today.. Later shall nap.. Steph is hospitalize.. Tsk.. Doin a blood test, hope all is fine.. De pills make my lips damn dry.. Shit.. Damn pain.. Fuck.. Fuck.. Fuck.. Grrrrrr..

I love u dear & I wan de whole world to knw.. Thx 4bein here when u hear tt I'm sick.. Thx 4bein so sweet.. I'm happy Marilyn actually say my dear is nice.. Hehe.. I thot she'd say smtg I dun wanna hear.. Cos she had nv like my ex.. Phew.. Nw we can all go out 2gether leh..

I came clean w Trina 2days ago tt I'm with sm1 else.. Wanted 2b honest as much as I could.. De 1st step I took all these years.. She started being sarcastic..
Sigh.. Keep hafin friction for past few days w dear.. Makes me wonder again.. Smtg tt made me refuse to start another r/ship b4 was de need 2learn new things again, everytg is back to zero, haf to slowly build tgs up, haf to start 2get 2knw another person all over again.. Kinda tirin as every1 knw how lazy I am.. Nvm.. Will try harder ba.. Cos I love dear..

I've finally ask de question.. And.. We're attach.. I'm attach again after so long of singlehood.. Mm.. On National Day.. Haha.. So funny.. Lean on the sofa & slp again.. Yawn.. Gonna teach now.. Damn tired..

Damn stomach is killin me.. Bad day.. I'm so slpy lately no matter how much I slp.. 5hrs used to be enough but now like dun work anymore.. Fucked up.. Tink it's seriously cos I'm gettin old.. Watever.. Shall go maple..

Went liquid room yday, was plannin to go Zouk one.. Sigh.. Lorraine, Kat, Est, Shan & ACG was der.. I like the music thou & it was a cosy nite out thou I'm abit tired.. So funny.. All nite long I juz feel like huggin dear, but Lorraine was beside us.. Dear say she dun like PDA.. Mm.. Do I? Let me tink.. >.< To me, I'm juz the kind who does wat I like, as & when I like.. Dun really care wat others tink.. Unless it's my students' parent? Haha..

Den today, was out w Ps & Kat.. Went to catch a show *weddin crasher*.. Was quite borin sia.. Except for the kitty Kat part.. So funny.. Dear seem to get along well with my frens & my family.. I'm so happy..

The only thing I can rem at liquid room was I grab hold of dear when Lorraine challenge her to go hug sm caucasian.. I've no idea why I did that, it was such a natural reaction.. Mm.. Suddenly, I've tis overwhelmin feelin that I'm really afraid.. The feelin is so scary.. I feel so unstable.. I cant hold myself back anymore & I've crossed the line which I wasnt suppose to.. I'm madly in love, I keep tellin myself not to cross the line & yet I found myself 1000000km away frm the line I set..

Tis kinda of feelin always make me feel insecure.. Afraid of losin sm1 1day.. See lah.. That's the problem with crossin the line.. I'm so afriad it'd be another failed r/ship like the one I hung on to for 4years.. What am I gonna do now?? I dunno anymore.. I love u dear.. So much.. *muackz*

Der was a weird stab aft readin dear's blog.. If.. If I had needed a companion, I would haf look for one.. I would haf juz accepted anyone who's in my life.. All tis while, I thot work would be enough & I'm happy workin my whole day off.. Enough to keep me goin.. But now.. I knw I've u.. I'm not good at expressin myself & it had became a habit to be sad for so long.. Now, I'm smilin when I teach.. I'm smilin when I'm usin the com.. I'm smilin when u came into my mind.. I'm smilin.. Cos I really love u..

Sorta got drench in the rain.. Today was extremely soothin mornin.. Rained heavily.. Split seconds, I thot I was on Effiel tower.. Gosh.. How much I miss the place.. So romantic, so dreamy.. Sigh.. Love it!! Stupid PS cancel our pool session, my hand itch den u like tt.. Pig!! Woke up at Kat's place & had pizza.. She's sooooo sweet, always make breakfast.. Finally we got sm decent slp, she's been studyin for past few days & I've been maplin.. Finally level 35 liao.. Piang.. Took so long man.. Mm.. Gonna continue enjoy the breeze.. Hope it doesnt stop rainin so soon..

Mm.. Sm questions last nite sets me wonderin.. Was me or my exs too open in the past? Or was my exs always the one who take initiative? So that make me dunno how to behave when I'm on my own? Or was it that everytg is too fresh? Or was it I'm too afraid that doin smtg wrong everytg wil collasps? Aiyo......... So many questions.. Lazy to think.. Mm.. I did learn smtg new, that is to haf diff phrases.. *smilez* It's interestin, cos I nv knew it all tis 27th yrs..

我慢慢睁开眼睛，
天已渐渐亮起，
我心深处思念着一个人。
用情至深是你给我的印象。
你给我的爱让我惊慌失措。
不知不觉爱上了你，
希望我不会让你失望。

I'm in love.. *wink* Got swept off my feet finally.. Hehe.. Yawn.. Super tired.. thx for bein so nice to me Kat.. See ya later.. >.< I go maple a while.. *muackz*

就是我想你 - Zhang Hui Mei

太阳在笑 空气里面也充满了回忆
闭上了眼睛想象你把爱藏在这里
我数着心跳 拋开烦恼画面立即好远
睁开眼 的视野 竟发现 奇妙的感觉

Baby baby 就是我想你 表演开始变甜蜜
这种感觉 谁也说不清 就是我想你
如果你也能感应所有距离一瞬间就拉近
连笑都有型不知不觉甜到了心底
隔着零点零一毫米的差距瞇着眼睛就想起你
意外的就 听见 心跳传到 耳里 像是触电惊喜 就是我想你
兴奋指数不能停所有细胞竟然也跟着你
一起想你 也一起爱你如果想象是真的
不论在哪里 我都会 边唱 边想着你

Other den slpy wat can I say? Mm.. Watched Green Mile at Kat's hse last nite.. That S.O.B is so irritatin, nv fail to make me clench my fist each time I watch it.. Used to haf blog songs, so long nv put alr.. Thx to auntie Kat, she gao ding for me.. Muack sweetie.. Missin ya.. >.< We'll be clubbin at Zouk 2nite with my darLin sis Esther.. Goshhhh.. Love my sis sooooo much.. She's sooo cute, sooo ke ai, sooo humourous.. Juz like her da jie.. *wink*

So tired today.. I was slpin in the room when Tri was watchin NKF outside.. She came into the room & bite me hard on the neck.. *sensitive* No smell of ciggi that I hate.. Would be a turn off to me since I love kissin so much.. But den I juz slpt like slpin beauty.. So damn tired.. When I woke up was stil v tired.. Goodness, walk & slp kind, kept dozin off.. Tri's mum called me askin where she was, den blasted over de phone sayin she waited for a long time.. *Opps* Aft tt, Rita call me say Tri cuttin her hair at her salon.. Stil bluff me say cut her hair wrongly.. Piang.. Whole day in a daze, eyes keep closin.. Den steph call askin me go teach her, juz came back only.. Tired like siao.. Den Auntie Kat bully me, ask me not to read her blog.. Sniff.. Big bully..

因 缘而相识，
为 何有一天会曲终人散？
我 内心的挣扎，
喜 怒哀乐尽显无疑。
欢 乐只愿长伴你身边，
你 一定要快乐…一辈子。

U said u like me alot.. Sets me thinkin.. Will I hurt u? Will I hurt u by missin u at tis v second? Am I gonna be a disaster to pple once again? Sigh.. Dun wanna tink.. Hurt my brain cells.. Yawn.. Slpy slpy.. Only slpt 2.5hrs yday.. Watched 50 1st date & Shao Nian Ah Hu til like 3am, den roll here roll der, chat til 5.30am.. Die liao.. So tired.. Hehe..

I'm home finally.. Been stayin at Kat's hse since Thurs.. Watchin VCD den Fri nite I slpt immediately aft bathin, was tired like hell.. She was nice, cook me breakfast in the mornin b4 I went to teach.. But she had a hard time wakin me up.. Haha..
Sat mornin I woke up like 9am, den was like.. Mm.. Shld go buy big breakfast for her since I used so much water to bath & toilet den ate her breakfast.. LOL..

Sat nite went Zpop.. Maia RoX!!! She's so cute.. I like the 2chinese songs she sang.. Countin for 3rd Aug to come.. Hehe.. Had an enjoyable nite.. Der was Emerlyn, Amelia, Est, ShanShan, Josephine, Lorraine, Shu Ping & Kat.. When ah-mei came out, I screamed............... She rox esp her Na Lu Wan Qing Ge.. Wow Ohhh.. No image alr, dun care lah.. Maia & A-Mei Rox..
Smtg keeps goin in my mind.. But I shall go back to Maple liao.. 2mrw teachin early again.. Sigh..

I was at Kat house watchin Stripes & Phantom of the opera & til like 4.30am.. Slpt only 2hrs.. Yawn.. Zann sms askin where I was last nite.. I din reply.. She ask again askin who I'm with.. It kinda got on my nerve.. Is it cos Tri gave me too much freedom with the no status r/ship until I became like tat? I dun like it, havin to answer to pple, havin to tell pple where & who I'm with.. I'm not oblige to.. Probably tat's why I'm stil w Tri, cos she's de only one who gave me so much space til now.. I changed over tis years.. At tis point of time, I dun wish to settle down anymore.. Yawn.. Stil feel so tired.. Go take a rest, 2mrw is zpop concert wor.. Maia!! Ah-Mei!! U both rox!!

Receive a mail from Maia!! Only realise it tis mornin tt de mail came in b4 I send it out to her tellin her I'll see her at zpop tis sat (Thx to Terence).. When I saw her mail, my heart almost jump out sia.. Stupid lah.. Sm1 so old stil idolise pple rite? I dun care man.. I love Maia!!! U rox!! Dun worry, yr secret will be safe w me sia.. >.<

Yday, Kat did a sweet thing.. She bought bubble tea frm near Rebecca hse store & po pia den walk over to Rebecca void deck to pass it to me.. Lucky I got tt, tahan me for the whole day.. Teach til like 11.20pm.. Wanted to blog also lazy..
Mm.. Excellent day to slp 2day.. But I woke up at 8.30am 2day, slightly later den usual to teach John, the boy who always pierce his pen into my mole on my right hand.. He's so cute cos he's a eurasian.. But den.. Aiyo.. Pokin yr tutor hand isnt a nice thing..

Came back ard 10.20am, den watch TV a while.. After tt, nap as usual lor.. Woke up like 1.05pm cos Dar called me like 11times.. Finally I pick.. Ask her hold on I pick another line (Kat) she angry wor, cut the line.. I juz rush to bath cos I was late alr den her sms came in.. So fierce sm more.. But I'm surprise she actually put in effort to try to wake me 2day.. Aft tt, she ask if I wanna haf lunch w her but I cant.. Ask me cancel I said cant also.. DEN shaun sms me say he's not in time to come hm, so cancel tuition.. So off I went to buy her bubble tea for her & her Tricia.. After tt we went MacPerson for lunch.. She pick me at heartland mall den we headed der..

She like my hair!! Hehe.. Phew.. So scared she'd say v ugly.. End up she also wan Rita to cut her hair.. She was sweet 2day.. Was huggin me & held my hands & I got a shock.. Den went back Dar place to slp.. Plan to take a nap but was so cosy tat we both fall aslp.. Only went for AMK tuition, wat de hell.. Make me so piss again.. Put soap outside my bbt cup.. Idiot.. My mum is naggin again.. Sayin tt I'm a failure.. Constantly remindin me.. Makes me lose confident.. Sian.. Dun wanna stay home.. Sigh..

Open the door & I saw my mum, den she commented with my hair.. Grr.. I feel like going out again.. But dar nv call me, so I guess I've to stay at hm & tolerate it.. Or Zann.. Wanna take me in for 1day? Haha.. Slpt only 1hr 50min yday & I was out runnin ard lookin for SyL 30min ago.. Sigh.. Is it so hard to wait a while? I nv say I'm not comin out.. Ran ard like a mad woman & to know tat u've left.. U made me so worried.. Why do u like to walk away like tt? I care if u realise.. So piss I call my dearest auntie Kat, she ask me to go hm.. Den wen hang up de call, I puke.. Tink I'm too tired..

Had a fun day with my cousins yday in town, had pasta mania, est, steph & me finish one bottle of cheese.. Missed East Coast Italian restaurant by the beach.. Nice atmosphere.. Shall spend a wkend der if I can find time.. Quite a chaotic nite, Amelia was so unlucky.. Got molested, knock her head on lift, knock her hand on cab, smtg else I cant rem.. Juz not her day.. Poor gal.. But I love u!! 4get abt wat happen ok? I'll be here if u stil haf any *secret* u dun wan yr mum to knw.. I'll help u solve yr problems if u haf any ok? Try not to mix w those ah lian anymore.. Can be frens, but try ok..

Went to watch *fantastic 4*.. I like the show.. So cute, de gal is so so so pretty!! Had a superb wk.. Juz tt I'm super duper tired.. Kat ask me to tok abt her.. Mm.. Let me tink.. She's a v funny gal.. A bully, always bully me cos she hates me.. But she sings v.well.. Hehe.. Only laff at her *Nu Er Hong*.. Cannot go any lower liao.. Haha.. My shoulder hurts like mad.. Can any1 massage for me????? >.<

My gosh.. My eyes are red!! And I'm goin down town later.. Came back only like 6plus tis mornin with a bad headache frm the lens.. 2day shall not be vain & wear my glasses.. Met Auntie Kat finally.. Went to Rita to cut my hair in the evenin.. She's like gettin prettier wor.. Alr 29 stil so freakin cute, rarely praise a Malay.. We live like so near yet we nv meet up.. We mentioned Shelley.. Both of us also no contact, she slapped shelley 1yr ago.. -_-"" And Shelley is mad at me since last Sept sayin tt when she1 2meet me, I wasn't der.. But she doesnt understand tt her problems was self created, 4ever wantin 2break w E den cry every wk.. Rita slap her 4wantin 2jump in2 Sg River outside monks & I really cant find time to REPEAT constantly going to her side 4same tgs tt happen every 3days.. Friends around her really feel tired..

Den met Kat at 9pm together w Ju.. Saw her & b4 I reached her, sm1 grab me frm behind.. Got a shock, it's was Olivia.. ^-^ Been a long time since I last saw her.. She's wearin the bloody heels again.. Hate it sia.. Alr so tall stil like tt.. Make me feel like a dwarf.. She's the only gf tt I accept the fact tt she's taller den me.. Aft goin in, she chatted w me & Ju 4a while.. Mentioned tt she noticed me cos I'm always gettin shots.. Haha.. That's how we exchange numbers thou.. LOL.. She was tellin me Tues is her off & we can meet for coffee smtimes.. Mm.. Maybe the national day tt Tues, can meet her for coffee.. Mm.. B4 I left, she said my hair not 2bad.. Hehe.. After that we went Rouge.. The place Kat ah yi dun like.. +_+

We finish 1drink den we left the place.. Trina called b4 tt, told her I was drinkin she like kinda shock.. Anyway, she call juz to ask abt Maple story.. Aiya.. Expected.. Cant be tellin me she misses me.. =o( Den.. Met Kat fren & my little darLin Esther came down, she say my hair stylo juz tt the fringe I gotta style it beta.. Ok lor.. Shall see wat Trina say, but when will I see her? Went KTV & as usual, I sit der to accumulate cobwebs.. Tok to SyL inbtwn & she was like drinkin in Jurong.. Sigh.. Ah gal ah.. Pls take care of yrself ok.. I'm always worried when ur sad.. We are both v v v extreme pple.. LOL..

Anyway, went Swensen aft tt.. Got a hot chocolate!! So fattenin.. Esther lah!! Stil order coffee & gave me a whole lump of wipe cream which I cant resist.. Said so many things & I kept laffin.. Auntie Kat dunno wats a mole.. Mm.. Kat, other den cat u stil knw wat animals? Kiddin lah.. We had a special childhood, seen alot of animals, had alot of *adventure* with them.. LOL..U're a v fun lovin person.. Very cute.. Haha.. Hope u get yr slp liao.. Poor ah yi.. Stil call me & woke me up at 9am.. Nv slp.. Enjoy yr day at yr bro bday k.. Had sweet dreams abt yr mole?? Hahahahaha............... Tis mornin, mummy was touchin my hair, heard her say smtg, I knw she's not happy I color my hair.. sigh.. Nxt few days or rather the whole of nxt week she sure nag abt my hair.. I can jolly well liu lang jie tou until she slp or I go Dar place IF she calls me.. Sigh.. I seriously doubt so..

I'm finally hm.. Felt so bad abt not being able to go watch Butch hunt w SyLSyL.. So busy w work & I'm down w de DAMN FLU.. So irritatin.. Woke up feelin body achin all over.. Done assignment yday 4student til late sia.. Den auntie Kat call & we chatted like frm 12.30am til 6.30am until my battery went flat.. LOL.. She kept analysisin me.. Havent chat on the phone for tat long.. Yawn.. So funny.. We nv even met sia.. Will be meetin on 23rd July if notg happen.. So busy I gotta arrange my schedule like 1mth b4 hand.. 4wkends all fully book until August.. Tupid.. Feel like readin back the history of my blog.. Stopped at 2004 Jun tt time.. Yawn..

Had a little arguement with my mum b4 I went out late last nite.. sigh.. She's always like tt, hate it when I go out aft 1am.. But I stil went ahead with it.. I work long hours, only nite time is my free time & tis wk she's on nite shift.. If I dun meet her, god knws when she'll ask me out again.. Nxt few days she sure MIA..

Dar & me watch tis VCD she rented.. Quite nice.. I wanna buy tis series call *Jing Zhi Yu Nie*, tink it's quite nice.. I like Deng Cui Wen.. Came back after tuition & saw mum.. Heng sia.. She nv scold me & seemed normal.. Somehow I feel kinda down 2day.. But den I wont, cos I still need to gif Ling my support.. Hope she get well soon..

I miss the feelin of being madly in love..

Dar & me waited for Mary jie to finish chattin with Joe den we met.. Mm.. Ard 12.30am ba.. Den we went Hougang blk 401 der to haf supper, had my fav chicken chop.. Den Dar cant finish 1/2 of her food & gave me all.. -_-"" I dun like to waste food so I finish everytg includin the crumbs.. She stil rem she havent watch Initial D w me leh.. Hehe.. So cute..

We chat till like 3am den went over to my granny's place see the baby rabbit with Mary also.. Bought a packet of noodles for Est.. Den send mary hm & chat downstairs again til like 5am.. Went back Dar hse ard & she bath liao watch 1hr of VCD while I slp.. After that, I thot I felt Dar kissin me & I responded.. *blush* The kiss melt into my heart.. Been so long since I felt that sweet.. I woke up smilin 2day.. Hehe.. Went to teach in the mornin & only 2hrs of slp but I'm like a fully recharged battery.. Later beta slp sia.. If not wil die, long day again.. Earn $$!!

Ended work at 10.50pm today.. Beat that.. Bloody hungry.. Dar called yday, say 2day supper aft her work at 12am.. Shld I wait? Mm.. Startin to gastric alr but I stil got a whole load of student's project to be done.. Sigh.. Beta do now.. Head is spinnin.. Workin like nuts.. And promise PS to meet her to sing k-box in august & Lorraine to drink at serangoon garden 2wks frm now.. LOL.. Roxxxxx..

Wrote tis on 10th June but forgot to paste it here.....

It's our 4th year anniversary today.. She has clean forgotten aboutit.. Or maybe she din even bother to remember.. sigh.. It's ok lah.. I'm used to it.. I bought her a Dior phone thingy but seemed like she dun like it.. Den I bought the *Xue Lang Hu* ticket, I wanna watch & I hope she'll be happy.. My birthday wish every year without fail is always to prayshe'd be healthy & kai xin.. Yin wei wo ai ta.. Whatever it is or how she treats me, the centre of my life is to hopethat she'd be happy..

But recently, she seemed to be easily aggitated by me.. She'd raise her voice & behave impatiently.. Ouch.. That hurts.. Loving someone is not a sin, but I feel that I should have nv been born, then her life will be happier & less troublesome.. I haf nv hated her, but smXs it really hurt to know too much.. Ithurts when I know that she dun love me anymore..I'd always console myself.. Ta kai xin.. Wo jiu kai xin le.. If there's any unfortunate event, let it fall on me.. If there's meant to be any heart-broken, let it be me.. Been 4years.. Will my dream ever come true? Seems to be further &further cos deep down inside, I know.. It's not me she love.. It's not me she cares about..

Suddenly remind me of the nite I saw shootin star for the 1st time in my life, that was in Perth.. Even thou I walk out of her house fumin, the moment I saw the star, Iprayed.. I wished for eternal happiness for her whether she's with me or not.. I wish for her gd health.. If there was any pain, let me take it, if any1 is to be heart-broken, let it be me, if des any sadness, I'm willin to take her place.. Tis wish came true? All the pain & heart-broken came knockin on my door, but I've nv regret I made tis wish.. Even if it sticks to me all my life.. Never will I regret as long as she's well.. Even if I'm alone again, I wont find any1 else in my life anymore.. I'll bury myself in my job all my life & my frenz ba.. Sometimes I laff at my own sillyness.. Laff at my.. I dun even knowhow to describe myself.. Juz gif her the best & I'll be thankful to ugod.. I mean it.. Thx..

Nv had such a frustratin day man.. Wat de F.. 1st my phone was left at my granny's place.. Feel so sian all day without it.. Went to teach Rebecca, den Hougang Mall to get my bbt.. Looked for a public phone to call ah yi & damn it.. I tried so many times also cant get through.. So go Ajunied teach lor.. Lucky he's at hm.. Den.. I tried callin ah yi again & damn it.. Stil cant get through.. Aft tt made my way down to Hougang buy my fav meat ball noodles, in the end, de auntie gave the wrong one for me.. -_-"" I ask my sis call my aunt & bloody hell, she call can go through, I call cant.. Sigh.. Nvm lah.. Now I'm hm save & sound.. So tired.. Only slp like 1hr yday..

Guess which is me? My Quan Jia Fu

My student ask "Ms Tang, why dun u haf a religion? Dun u find it weird without one?" It's de funny expression pple gif wen I tell them I'm free thinker that make it look weird.. LOL.. It's so contridictin how my mum is being abused by all my uncles & aunts.. They're buddist, christians.. But they nv thot of returnin my mum's $$ all tis years.. They rather use it on tour lah.. Change new HP for their kids lah.. Throw money on rubbish now & den lah.. Their money is hard earn, my parents' money isn't?!!

That's why I became so hardworkin outta sudden.. Other den bringin dar out, I dun spend anytg on myself.. I learn wat's the meanin of thrifty.. Smtimes I really hate to see my parents work so long hours.. Even when they're sick, they stil go open their shop.. They nv close their shop except for new year.. When I look at my mum 2day, I realised that she had age so much.. Feel like gifin her a hug so much but she'll say I'm crazy.. My mum almost teared juz now wen she told me she regret lendin so much money to her family, if not she could haf given me beta educations.. She was sayin lendin my uncle alone was near 500k.. Stil got 2uncles & 1aunt.. sigh.. Now stil dare to ask my mum to lend him money last wk.. Wat de..

Sigh.. Hafin religion doesnt make me a beta person.. Hafin religion doesnt mean I haf beta morales.. Hafin a religion doesnt mean I can cheer my fren up beta.. Hafin a religion doesnt mean I can help my fren in de correct way.. Havin a religion is for pple to haf smtg to turn to when they need security.. I respect them.. And I hope pple understand why I choose it tis way.. I can stil be der when my frens need me.. I can still be der to support my fren they wan me to.. I can still stand by my mum when she wan me to.. I can do alot of things when I wan to.. When I haf to go, I will go.. Des no way I can extend my stay on earth.. But while I'm stil around, I hope & will try to brin happiness to pple I care for.. That includes u.. Thx for readin.. And may happiness always stay with u.. >.<

Sigh.. Ling is still sad.. I dunno wat to do alr man.. Her nick will put tgs like *I died frm tat day*, *I'm worse den a dot*.. See alr I also damn sad.. Last wk when she msg me in MSN tellin me tat idiot broke up w her durin the trip, said she's seein sm1.. So she's 2timin lor.. Stupid.. I know how tat feel more den any1.. Wish I can take 1/2 the pain frm her.. Anyway, I'm used to the pain so doesnt matter more or less.. I told her I can fly over the nxt day if she wanna stay der & calm down but she said she wanna come back..

Why do pple haf to fall in love? It's so tirin when a heart is broken.. My heart is fragile, keep breakin & I keep puttin it back until I cant even see wat's the original look of my heart.. Haha.. Sigh.. I juz feel so depress today.. Depression again I tink.. Gotta cheer up soon.. Des things more in life den bein depress.. Like earnin money? Hehe.. >.<

Met dar yday at 8plus.. She yelled over the phone again.. Sigh.. Sad sad.. We met at BK, den had diner der with her mum.. Was suppose to be goin Zhen Fa Huo Hai Xian one, but her mum change her mind.. After diner, we went NTUC shop with her mummy.. Mm.. Shop until 9.30pm liao.. Gone case, no more movie.. *frowns* Nvm lah.. As long as she's by my side, wherever we go, whatever we do, it's ok with me.. Dar happy = FeLFeL happy.. After that she drove in to patrol station buy CD only to realise tt her mum alr bought it earlier.. Haha.. Hilarious hor..

The day b4 she actually ask me go eat prata, den my sis came alone.. She so cute went to pick my sis up stil bluff me say she's near the office.. So naughty.. She's so sweet again outta sudden.. We havent sit & tok den laff laff laff like tis for so so so long.. Juz like those days in Perth.. Miss those days back den..

I'm workin my ass off like mad.. Takin more & more students.. Feel so damn tired at the end of each day.. But I gotta earn more.. Juz like wat I promised her in the letter.. I work hard to keep a dream alive.. A dream that might nv come true.. That is she'd come back to me one day.. I'll not let her suffer.. I'll save alot of money.. I juz wan her to be v happy whether she's w me or not.. Cos I'll be sad if she's sad.. I'm silly.. I'm stupid.. But I'm juz a simple person that loves her deeply.. That wanna protect her frm all harm.. The person that wont gif her any headache again..

Competin with the old me every day, tryin to be a beta person each day.. All these yrs, I stil cant slp by myself.. Only when she's beside me am I able to slp early.. To slp tight.. And not jump up in shock.. Doesnt matter to any1 anyway.. Was tinkin 2day.. Shld I get another insurance & put in juz Dar, Ju & Est name? I mean wont be a big sum but.. At least it's juz a token of appreciation frm me.. To let them knw I love them & hope they'll always rem me if smtg do happen & I'm gone 4ever.. If des a nxt life, I hope they're stil the pple I've in my life.. Even if I gotta go through the same tg again, I stil wanna meet dar.. And be the same FeLFeL to make her happy, to be by her side whenever she needs me.. To be eternally hers.. Or mayb god wan her not to love her again.. I stil wanna be by her side.. Love her & care for her.. Make her smile & drive all her sadness away..

Mm.. I'm stil awake.. Was readin my past blog postin.. So funny esp the days in Vancouver.. Went for an interview with a P1 student yday & is successful.. Believe it? P1.. Mm.. He's a Eurasian boy, but haf difficulty recognisin words.. Gotta be extra patient.. Was smsin a fren 2day & reflectin back my past.. 3yrs ago, I was stil v slack.. So easily contented w a 1.2k pay.. 2day.. I've 15students, 3yrs ago.. How many? 5-6? Haha.. I'm takin lesser $ frm sm parents if I knw they're poor.. Many pple tink it's juz a job to get easy cash.. To me, it's more den juz a job.. >.<

Workin day & nite & off only on sat aft 6pm & sun at 4pm.. I hope I can take up 1more student if possible.. Anyway, I only go out at nite aft work or wkends evenin.. Despite all the hard work, pay day is always the best.. God is pretty fair, put in triple effort, pay also come in triple or even more at times.. Hehe.. But when their results turn out well, it felt real gd, cos I din fail my duty as their teacher..

Ah po bday yday, ordered crab frm Mary jie.. Wah.. Her dad sell de freshest crab man.. Gonna get frm Mary nxt time & cook.. Gave sm to Dar, she like it too.. Say my aunt cook v nice pepper crab.. I'll die w/out seafood other den fishes.. -_-"" *Sweat* I'll still puke when I smell fishes near me esp steamed ones.. YUCKS..

Bought C.D for 4th yr anniversary & 2Xue Lang Hu ticket also cos I wanna make her day beta at work.. Been waitin for it to come to sg for so long.. Dun like Sly but I like tis song alot.. Sing out my feelins.. LOL..

所以 - SyLvesTer Sim

想到了第一次见到你 你有一种奇怪的魔力
我感觉到我自己偷偷想靠近你
想到了第二次见到你 感觉我并没那么高兴
因为我发现自己和你的距离
这是爱情还是你太美丽 让我做出不可思议的事情
我只知道我要看你开心 我什么都愿意只要能够靠近你

我只好把我想说的话都放在心里 因为我只想要你开心
我知道我会辛苦也会难过 但我什么都愿意
不在乎狂风暴雨不管你在那里
我知道你和你的男孩有多么的甜蜜 所以我才静静守着你
每一次看他紧紧拉着你手 我眼泪不停的流
我只好默默退后 我什么都没说静静忍着痛

想到了第一次见到你 你有一种奇怪的魔力
我感觉到我自己偷偷想靠近你
想到了第二次见到你 感觉我并没那么开心
因为我发现自己和你的距离
这是爱情还是你太美丽 我像是着了迷只渴望能靠近你

我只好把我想说的话都放在心里 因为我只想要你高兴
我知道我会辛苦也会难过 但我什么都愿意
不在乎狂风暴雨不管你在那里
我知道你和你的男孩有多么的甜蜜 所以我才静静守着你
每一次看他紧紧拉着你手 我眼泪不停的流
我只好默默退后 我什么都没说静静忍着痛

Been a long time since I last post.. Went to watch Sound of Music sometimes ago.. Not bad.. Student exam endin soon.. Hoppin to catch a movie in the evenin later though I'm sick.. Hehe..

沙灘

空無一人 這片沙灘 風吹過來 冷冷海岸
我輕輕抖落鞋裡的沙 看著我的腳印
OH 一個人一步步 好寂寞

看海有些綠天有些藍 那段愛情有些遺憾
向不知不覺游向海天 到最深的地方
才發現你早已經放棄我

我聽到海浪 溫柔的呼吸 我聽到雲朵飄來飄去
有什麼方法 讓自己真的忘記 ONLY BLUE ONLY BLUE
愛讓人好憂鬱 我的心我的心 藍藍地

我真的想找一條船 能遠遠開這片沙灘
每次又回到同樣海邊 還是會對你想念想念你有點BLUE
沒有人能向你 留給我的回憶有點 BLUE OH ONLY BLUE

Thx for cookin my fav potato on my bday.. Yawn.. Feels good.. Muackz..

I bought a phone before new year.. The P730C.. Cost me almost 1k cos I expand the MMC.. But I love my phone.. Had the nicest Valentine today.. Notg special, juz felt.. Mm.. Hehe.. Dunno how to say.. Food was nice.. Full til wanna puke.. Was at C.B.. The place where we always lose our way.. Finally went der.. All couples.. ^_^ Wo Ai Ni.. Muackz..

U sms me 2day & said u wish I can be more direct at times, if I like u, tell u.. If I dun tell u too.. I wish I could but I cant.. Wat does tt msg u sent me means? I wonder.. LOL.. Doesnt matter.. I'm not worthy of u.. Tt I know pretty well.. I hope u'll be happy wherever u go.. I'd be sm1 u'll turn to wen ur down.. May happiness always be with u..

No matter how much I love someone, I won't say it.. But I'll always be der to support u if u need it & I definitely dun need anything in return.. That's FeL..

My gosh.. My birthday is round the corner.. Am I suppose to feel happy to be older? Haha.. Well.. Life is good.. Hope I get to celebrate it the way I wan..
~~~~~~ *makin a wish* ~~~~~~
So tired man tis days.. Did nothing but work lor.. Wat's new? Went to drink a few times with shelly, ling & sm others.. Was kinda.. Dunno how to describe.. Ling flyin to shanghai to open her own company after chinese new year.. A capable gal indeed.. Always my idol.. Hehe.. Gotta teach in an hour.. Gonna highlight my hair ash.. Heheh.. My mum will kill me sia.. Who cares.. I happy.. ^_^

Happy New Year!! Mm.. Late huh? No lah.. Been busy.. All my student start tuition alr.. So.. Busy lah.. Each year must improve mah.. Pay also right? ^_^ Pay increase.. Time also more consuming.. No easy way out.. Life.. Anyway, went down Sentosa 2see ~~MaIa~~ Wow.. She RoxZzz.. Before X'mas, the road was kinda bumpy 4me, but I overcome it.. Phew.. All I can say is sweat.. All is not so bad now.. =) At least I'm happy again.. Gonna play maple story liao.. I'll pop by again ah.. Muackz..