Hihi.. I'm still around, juz too busy to blog.. Superb mood lately.. Hope everyone take care.. Shuttle is a nice show, polar express is heart-warming.. Next year is gonna be a busy year ahead.. Got a whole lot of new students+old ones still teachin, nxt year I can go Paris man.. Hopefully fulfilling one of my long term dream.. Hehe..

Watch a movie 2day & mood is fantastic lately.. Going clubbin 2nite.. Mm.. Wat shld I wear.. Hehe.. 1st of all I need to slp 1st.. Yawn.. Slpt throughout yday.. Cant even remember wen I got up.. Couldnt bear to get up.. Havent slpt so well for a while.. =op Lalala.. Hehe.. *smilez*


~Love exist from the startin of time..~
~Believe in love..~
~Believe in it & it will exist..~

有緣人 - Flora Chan

誰幸運過 心窩痛過 別要再問為何
問你日後共我會如何 日光只有奈何
緣份或弄錯 她竟與我 在你身邊步過
如像注定我 怎麼的過 靜看旁人在結果

誰在昨天經過的 突然遇上了我
今天已不需假切 昨日如果
誰做錯 我在今天也未能分清楚 時候有一點差錯已逃不過
如遇上她 怎去躲 是時候放低我
今天從孤單一個 也能慶賀 誰是對 那是錯
我們今天都也要走過 或你一天會決定選我

誰幸運過 心窩痛過 別要再問為何
問你日後共我會如何 日光只有奈何
為何越是要狠心放棄 越要想親近你
難道注這我 不捨不棄 就算無人在記起

誰在昨天經過的 突然遇上了我
今天已不需假切 昨日如果
誰做錯 我在今天也未能分清楚 時候有一點差錯已逃不過
如遇上她 怎去躲 是時候放低我
今天從孤單一個 也能慶賀 誰是對 那是錯
我們今天都也要走過 或你一天會決定選我

When I Look Into Your Eyes - Firehouse

I see forever when I look into your eyes
You're all I ever wanted, I always want you to be mine
Let's make a promise till the end of time
We'll always be together, and our love will never die

So here we are face to face and heart to heart
I want you to know we will never be apart
Now I believe that wishes can come true
'Cause I see my whole world, I see only you

When I look into your eyes, I can see how much I love you,
and it makes me realize
When I look into your eyes, I see all my dreams come true
When I look into your eyes

I've looked for you all of my life,
Now that I've found you, we will never say goodbye
I can't stop this feeling, there's nothing I can do
'Cause I see everything, when I look at you

When I look into your eyes I can see how much I love you,
and it makes me realize
When I look into your eyes, I see all my dreams come true
When I look into your eyes

When I look into your eyes I can see how much I love you,

and it makes me realize. When I look into your eyes
We will always be together, and our love will never die
When I look into your eyes, I see all my dreams come true
When I look into your eyes, When I look into your eyes

~Love tis song recently.. It's for u..~

Weird day.. I change my mind abt Portsmouth to draw to Everton in the end.. Den I actually bingo on everytg I betted on them.. Draw-away, winning & 1goal.. They only went in like 80th min.. Den Valencia won on home-home & -1.5goal also.. Mm.. Cool.. It's enough for me to go for a trip liao.. Hehe.. I'll kp the $$ & take a break after my student PSLE exam.. Haha..

Hafnt blog for so long.. Been busy workin den smtg happened bein my grandparents.. I thot.. I needed a support.. But I decided I've not let any1 know abt it.. All except one.. I can shoulder it w/o any1's help.. Hehe.. Went mm last nite.. Met a new fren, Jasmine.. Saw a long time no see fren too.. Jas!! Haha.. So cool.. Jordan was there too.. Very funny sia she.. Exchange numb.. Hehe.. Had a really fun nite out.. So tired 2day.. Drank too much.. Kinda dehydrated.. Later go back my granny pl watch Arsenal match.. Bet on it w all tt I haf.. Haha.. Lose den lose.. Doesnt matter.. Win den it's a bonus.. K lah.. Juz 2let every1 knows.. I'm stil alive & kickin & gettin beta.. Ciao!! Contact me wen ur free k.. Muackz..

I had the funniest day ever 2day.. My driving sux to the core 2day.. LOL.. Raining I guess.. Haha.. Went to teach all day den met my fren who came frm Australia.. She's touring ard.. Going Greece nxt wk.. We met up aft my tution at 10.45pm den chat til 3.30am at Mr Bean.. Wen we were boardin the cab, *Summer* went past me.. I dinno until she called my HP askin if I juz walked past Mr bean.. I was like huh?? Wen.. Den I rem der was 2gals who walked past me.. I din see their faces.. Aft tt.. I was in shock til now.. LOL.. Small world..

Went to watch *house of the flyin daggers* last nite.. 2cars came to pick me & my aunt like shock.. LOL.. Mm.. Anyway.. Life is cool.. *wink*

Yawn.. So tired recently.. Been watchin Peru cup man.. Notg much to update cos I'm always hm or teachin.. Got another 3more students.. But my off day stil mantain on Fri & sat kind.. Sunday teachin also.. It's ok lah.. Least my pay has an increment of 35%.. Hehe..  Can go tour end of yr & save part of it for my goal.. Not a bad year.. Hopefully more to come.. Mm.. Finally can go for a movie on Fri.. Like a maddie getting outta jail.. Damn slpy again but later got 3tuition..

My arms been v painful for a few days alr.. Gosh.. Cant lift up to hold anytg.. Damn.. I had to skip drivin also.. Yawn.. 2nite go back ah mah pl watch America soccer..

~抱緊眼前人~
本應相愛本應相襯 命裡注定同行卻未能
捨不得不愛把不得一世 唯願抱緊眼前人

匆匆一世深深一吻 就此以後無從愛別人
若只得今晚可偷偷走近 誰又理得天鎖禁

愛你就算將跌入永遠黑暗 但這一刻抱緊
多麼確實無用再覓尋
浮沉人在世快樂循環又傷心 但願愛得最動人

一宵的愛一生的印 儘管最後如同過路人
捨不得不愛巴不得一世 唯願抱緊眼前人

Excellent mood 2day cos sm1 got me the Anita Mui concert CD.. Hehe.. Cant slp.. LOL.. Notg much recently.. Been v busy & tinkin of wat 2bet 4d match 2nite.. Hehe.. Den granny bday.. Beta get sm slp cos going out at nite..

Almost crash into a pick up during my driving today.. Wat was I doin? I dunno.. LOL.. Won a few matches in soccer again.. Mm.. Saving up to buy sm stuff.. Hehe..

Forever And A Day

When the night has come
and the day is done
I'm always thinking of you
you are in the air
You are everywhere
in the every thing I do

If I could keep this moment in time
if I could make you forever mine
Baby I'm lost in your love
from heaven above
You came to bring me up

Chorus:
With you I feel I could stay
in love forever and a day

When I walk alone
through an empty home
I just can't stop thinking of you
do you feel the pain
Could it be the same
are you missing me too

I see your face when I close my eyes
I see a glimpse of your own paradise
you came from heaven above
I'm lost in your love

Free as the wind
you give me wings to fly
My girl I feel I could stay
in love forever and a day

I feel that I could stay
In love forever and a day

Mm.. Went Wild wild wet 2day w my uncle kwang, aunty Florence, Sam, Stephanie, Samual & my 2sis.. Played from 1pm til 7pm.. Twisted my neck abit but gotta teach 2mrw.. Dun really care.. Cant miss any lesson cos I've my goal.. A 4yr plan.. Mm.. Aft wild wild wet went play pool den went KTV.. Madness man.. My only off day & I'm killin myself.. Straighten alot of thots.. I knw wat I wan alr.. =o) *wink* Mayb I'll pop by mm on fri if my neck can make it.. Anggie.. Thx for everytg u've done.. Mich.. Sorry abt Harry show.. If u stil wanna watch, tell me wen u'r free.. I knw I've vanished for abt 3wks alr.. LOL.. Take care pple..

Better Man

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Go easy on my conscience
'Cause it's not my fault
I know I've been taught
To take the blame

Rest assured my angels
Will catch my tears
Walk me out of here
I'm in pain

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Once you've found that lover
You're homeward bound
Love is all around
Love is all around

I know some have fallen
On stony ground
But Love is all around

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doin' all I can
To be a better man

Wow!!! France won Switzerland 3-1.. Damn fuk kind.. In shock.. Cos I needed the extra 2goals to win & France team spirit sux.. All the way to the 2nd 1/2, was draw only.. My sis also bet den I also bet 4others.. Phew.. So far, I havent disappoint any1 & won a pretty neat sum.. Hehe.. But damn stress cos 2min b4 match start, the bookie called say they dun accept 1goal anymore.. So I decided within tt 1min 2tk the 1½goal.. Phew.. Sweat.. France always so last min... But yay!! My fav England team won Crotia 4-2.. Hehe..

Sm1 sms me 2fuck off last nite.. Yah man.. I'll do juz tt.. No1 has ever dare 2say tt to me.. I'll do juz tt.. FUCK OFF.. Her fren sms me sayin tt she's drunk.. Ha.. DRUNK.. In the 1st pl.. Watever.. Doesnt effect my mood thou I was damn pissed at tt moment.. Dun care lah.. Cos gd news is..........

Denmark won & I won $$$ too!!! Hehe.. Put in alot.. The largest bet in my life so far sia.. Felt so pressurize last nite cos so many pple's cash is on my hand.. I told them Denmark wil win sm more.. Phew.. Wat a relief.. So happy 2day.. Hahaha.. So far havent lost $$.. Mm.. Gonna go out later.. Tata..

Been busy watchin football.. Not bad recently.. Won the match btwn Spain & Russia.. Hehe.. Den might be gettin 2more students which will bring my pay higher as I wished.. Can travel.. Mm.. Had my drivin lesson again.. My instructor was dozing off!!! I almost drove up the curb.. Hahaha.. 2nd lesson only.. Wat do u expect? Hehe.. Splendid week I haf.. Thou a little disappointed abt England's downfall.. But I love Fabien Barthez!! So cute kind.. Waitin to watch Oliver Khan perform too..

Felt really really motivated tis days.. I'm teachin like mad.. Earn more $, been 2comfortable for too long.. Hehe.. In life, every1 must haf a goal isn't it? Hehe.. It's $$.. Anggie.. A zillion apologies ah.. I'm really v busy.. I promise I'll meet u wen all my tgs r done.. I gt sm free time nxt wk.. Mm.. In btwn if u'r ok lah.. So u sms me yr free time k..

Been pretty tired for the past few days.. Juggling over drivin & teachin.. So tired of explainin tt I'm not w M.. But doesnt matter.. I'm happy w life recently & I dun like 2explain tgs tt aint true.. Hehe.. Got tgs to do 2day.. Mm.. Here's a new song I like..

=====================================================

You Took My Heart Away - Michael learns to Rock

Staring at the moon so blue
Turning all my thoughts to you
I was without hopes or dreams
I tried to dull an inner scream but you
saw me through

Walking on a path of air
See your faces everywhere
As you melt this heart of stone
you take my hand to guide me home and now
I'm in love

Chorus: You took my heart away
when my whole world was gray
You gave me everything
and a little bit more
And when it's cold at night
and you sleep by my side
you become the meaning of my life

Living in a world so cold
you are there to warm my soul
You came to mend a broken heart
You gave my life a brand new start and now
I'm in love

Chorus:
You took...

Holding your hand
I won't fear tomorrow
Here were we stand
we'll never be alone

Oh man.. I was freakin tired last nite.. Went to bed at 11pm, so early right?? I'm up now at 6am.. Went for my 1st drivin lesson yday at 5.30pm.. Hehe.. Pretty fun sia.. Kinda in a gd mood.. Gonna check my mail! Hehe.. Haf a gd day pple!! *muackz*

Take Me To Your Heart (Michael Learns To Rock)

Hiding from the rain and snow
Trying to forget but I won't let go
Looking at a crowded street
Listening to my own heart beat

So many people all around the world
Tell me where do I find someone like you girl

(Chorus)
Take me to your heart take me to your soul
Give me your hand before I'm old
Show me what love is - haven't got a clue
Show me that wonders can be true

They say nothing lasts forever
We're only here today
Love is now or never
Bring me far away

Take me to your heart take me to your soul
Give me your hand and hold me
Show me what love is - be my guiding star
It's easy take me to your heart

Standing on a mountain high
Looking at the moon through a clear blue sky
I should go and see some friends
But they don't really comprehend

Don't need too much talking without saying anything
All I need is someone who makes me wanna sing
(Chorus)

Created another blog to write so wont be updatin much here.. But if I've any new pic, I'll add in here.. =o) Chill pple.. Take care yeah!!

Notg much to update recently.. Life is stil as bored.. Juz update sm pic taken last mth.. Take care pple..

Went Zouk w Eden & her fren.. Met Mich at Zouk.. 1st time meet her wor.. At 1st I thot tis ah lian infront of me is her.. Haha.. Was R & B nite so I kinda like it.. Haha.. Hips pain the nxt day sia.. Mm.. U say I v playful huh?? Haha.. I am wor.. Hehe.. Den Friday we went mm after 5 10 with Jyren.. Mm.. Saw Ben, Germaine & Sham too.. Ling came down at 12am+.. She was so funny lor.. Apparently she likes Mich alot.. Haha.. Nv seen her like my fren tt much b4.. She always use her instinct kind.. LOL.. Keep pesterin Mich, say wanna treat her to a drink.. So I told Mich *If u dun accept, she'll pester u all nite.. Juz get over w 1drink..* Guess wat? Ling came back w 2jugs!! Ah hahha.. I almost flip.. Den Ling kp smsin me v embarrassin stuff.. LOL.. I got damn drunk so did Mich.. So slow effect.. Wat the hell was the drink???!!

Den Sat nite was stress.. My sis called me 10million times.. She ask me 2rush back Rosyth cos Ah Yi wanna go hospital.. Quite serious.. I kinda shock.. So took a cab down w Mich.. She was like so weak on the sofa.. Said she called aunty Florence 2drive her 2hospital alr.. So we followed.. Den Ju & Est went straight 2KK women clinic.. Gavin was there too but she wait outside cos if ah yi see.. Den.. Hehehehe.. Die of course.. After tt, we went hm cos cant stay.. Den we go watch a show 2relax.. *Win a date w Tad*.. Show was average.. Damn tired.. So Ju drove Mich back 2her place.. Den I go granny pl.. Mich.. Sorry sia.. Make u run here & there w us.. But thx leh.. I know u damn tired.. Me too man.. Hang over til ard 8pm++.. LOL.. U must learn2 4get all the unhappy smile k.. I no like pple 2b tinkin 2much hor.. =stickin out tongue= Yawn.. Gonna play GB.. Later after tuition goin hospital visit aunt den go eat lunch alr go back KK at 6pm+ 2accompany aunt again..

Sm1 once told me.. Nobody can live w/o any1.. I see it now.. Eden.. It's hard, I took so long to understand it, u gotta learn it too.. I'm in the game.. Are u?

I missed u, but do u miss me? I didn't change.. Juz tt u din see d mischievous side of me b4.. If ur free & feel like meetin, call me.. Cos I dun wanna keep feelin disappointed wen I ask u out..

Pick Jyran up ard 10.30pm last nite & went Happy Daze last nite.. Syl sms me ard 12+ & say can meet 4movies.. I was so happy can.. LOL.. Den wat the hell.. I sent a wrong sms which was meant for angeline to Syl.. Kao.. Wen Jyran turn ard, she's like.. *Why r u blushin???* Ah hahaha.. Imagine how pai seh I am can??? Sigh.. Damn hell.. I'm always sendin the wrong sms since I change tis phone.. We went to watch *beautiful boxer* in the end.. Den we chat outside Lido til 6+am.. Aft tt, I sent her hm.. Tink her maid saw me.. LOL.. On my way hm, I was car sick.. Puke wen I got down.. I was like.. Reachin.. Reachin.. Dun puke.. Broke out in cold sweat sia.. Goin tuition nw.. So.. Chat again.. *Gal.. I miss u*.. See u on Tues if u read tis sia.. =o)

Yday, went 2pick Syl at 6pm at her Pasir Ris hm.. Her maid gave her crap again.. Sigh.. So poor tg.. So much abt her family tg has made her so unhappy.. Rain was sooo heavy sia.. Wen we reach East Coast, it wasn't rainin but we stil choose 2sit inside.. Den suddenly it rained.. We were like lookin at the menu den choose & choose & choose.. In the end, so many dish came.. By the time we finish the starter, we were so full.. Haha.. She din wanna eat cheese but she cant help it.. Haha.. *pinchin yr nose* Silly gal.. Dun deprive yrself frm food, juz eat an appropriate amt, thou we ate too much liao.. But it's yr BIRTHDAY!!! We eat & eat den we sat there to relax.. Dedicate sm song 4d ah pek singer 2sing.. Haha.. Sly keep laffin over my comment.. Great 2see u smile.. Great 2knw tt I took yr troubles away & bought back sm smiles tt very moment.. Felt so warm inside u knw.. *grinzzz*

Oh yah.. I gave her a whole bottle of lollipops.. Haha.. U say u like it one last time.. She's like wah.. Haha.. Went K box in Toa Payoh aft tt.. Got a bottle of tequila.. Drink til quite high, nv do tt so long liao man.. Bryan & BJ came.. Haha.. We left K box ard 12+ den on a bench til ard 2+.. We went toilet den aft on our way back to the bench, she hugged me & gave me a kiss on the cheeks.. I was in shock kind.. My face was numb frm d alcohol yet, I felt the warm kiss.. *blush* Wah hahaha.. Cant see the blush cos my cheeks were alr v rosy.. Thx Syl.. Silly gal.. Cant wait 4nxt Tues 2c u again.. Cant wait.. Cant wait.. Cant wait!!! Can I turn the clock?? Anyway, the show *Blood brothers* by Andy Lau & Jacky Chan hor.. I've been wantin 2c it leh.. Den thx 2u, I can watch it 1st hand.. Can I gif u a kiss wen I see u 4tt?? Haha.. *stickin out my tongue* Wink..

Tk a break frm work.. Can't wait4 Thurs.. So look forward.. Finally can meet her.. =o) Sigh.. I'm beta off s les.. Heart stil beat 4gals.. Why is time sooo slow ah??! LOL.. Shld I cut my hair?? Kinda messy..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Excited~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alr damn slpy.. Dunno how 2last til 2mrw 9pm w/o slp.. No choice lah huh.. Gonna make sm coffee.. Yawn.. Slp tight folks!! Yawn.. Miss u Syl.. Hope u'r slpin soundly.. =o)

I've finally decided 2put everytg down & I'm not turnin back anymore.. Mm.. 1st time I said tis words in 3yrs.. Cos 4me, wen I say it means I'll do it.. Wont waste my time smsin her also since she dun1 2reply.. But still.. I'll stand by her wen she needs me as a fren.. Ling sms me at 12+am askin me how am I? Am I feelin beta? I told her.. *Dun worry.. I wont bother pple abt it anymore.. It's my own affair.. I'll face it myself.. I'll stand up frm where I fell.. Cos I choose tis path which was wrong.. I'm gonna make it right myself too..* Ling reply was *Gd 4u.. Hu Ran Fa Xian Dao Ni Bian Jian Qiang Le.. U must knw wat's worth 2put in effort in life & wats not..* Glad tt she cares abt me anyway.. She's happily att, why shld I shed another tear & waste it? Haha.. I dun hate her, juz tt I tink des sm1 else who's worth my time & energy 2change tt tear into a smile 4her.. =o) Destiny haf alr appointed a path 4me, I'll tk it & I wont force tgs 2happen again.. Frankly speakin, a bad experience wil make us stronger.. So many yrs, I had nv felt myself so brave, so clear minded before.. Yet I'm happy I felt tis way.. Those who r nice 2me, I'll b triple nice 2them too.. Those who r not, I'll juz leave it behind & move on..

Went 2meet Raine, Don & Francine at 3pm.. Den play tennis at the condo.. Cool sia.. They were like.. Wah.. How come u play so well.. Hehe.. Felt so proud of myself.. After that I went to play basketball.. Kao.. Whole day damn shiok sia.. Exercise non stop.. Den I msg Syl b4 my basketball.. Wanted 2pick her frm work but she's not workin.. Den I sms her 2nd X aft b ball.. But I was pounderin 4a while kind, scared later she's workin den jia liat sia.. But she replied my 2nd sms & say she nv receive d 1st & she's w her sis.. I was happy thou.. My blues for the whole day went off like a puff.. Haha.. So kua zhang..

At ard 8pm, we headed 4hougang plaza 4d western food.. Hehe.. Aft that we went upstairs 2play pool frm 10+pm til 2+am.. Inbtwn Francine had 2leave.. But Don's 2sis came.. Wah.. Damn pro man the 3of them.. But I pick up 1hr later while Lorraine was stil strugglin.. I even won can.. Ah hahahaha.. So comical kind.. Raine.. Dun jealous.. My luck is juz slightly beta den u.. Ard 1+am, Syl called.. I was like so shock kind.. Wah.. Did I see wrongly?? Ask me where I was den we chat as I play.. Suddenly, I shot 3balls in 1shot den my partner is like *continue tokin & continue bein so acurate..* Den tis dumb ass Lorraine kp askin who is it? Den tease me upside down kind.. They're real fun 2be with sia..

P/S: Many of my frens are complainin tt they cant see my blog due 2d password.. It shld b due 2settings lah.. Ok lor.. I xi sheng.. I take out the password lor.. ~blah blah blah~

Initially, I set up tis blog 4my frens 2b updated & 4her 2read abt my feelins.. But she nv did.. She only read it once is all I knw.. She probably can't even rem my password.. How funny.. Gd also lah.. It's only here tt I can write & speak all I wan.. The only place I dun hafta hide.. I went 2East Coat Wednesday nite.. Got into trouble w police but who cares.. Stil dare 2ask me hang up my call..

Chat w a long time fren on ICQ & she shot me 1sentence which woke me up totally.. *She dun love u anymore, she loves sm1 else*.. Tis few days was terrible.. I made a firm decision.. I purposely say tgs 2piss her off.. Make her damn angry w me.. Lies which she choose 2believe.. Lies.. And she believe.. She believe u knw?? Haha.. Tt hurts sia.. Juz shows that she doesn't knw me well at all.. Or she choose 2believe tt I'm sm1 like tt.. Haha.. How sad can tt be huh? 3yrs & she nv realise tt I've suddenly change.. She din find it weird also.. But I wanted it tis way.. It's gd 4her 2hate me, I rather it works tt way.. Den she dun hafta feel bad 2wards me & can play all she wans..

Pls dun scold me for bein silly.. I dunnno how many pple said tt alr.. I choose tis painful solution cos I dun wanna haf any turnin back also.. I wanted 2dash all my hopes 1shot.. My future gf can feel more secure too.. She can b happy too.. 1 lesser burden on her tinkin tt she had let me down.. I dun wanna be a burden2 any1 anymore.. Nobody wil see d upset side of me again.. 2all the pple who had been so concern abt me.. Lorraine, thx tokin 2me wenever I need sm1 2tok 2, which is like practically everyday.. Ah hahaha.. JuJu, my dearest sis.. Thx 4spendin a whole nite w me.. Anggie.. I'm sorry, I made use of yr name & thx 4bein der too.. SamSam & Jyran.. Thx for tryin so hard 2cheer me up.. SylSyl.. Thx 4meetin me d v 1st nite I was down.. Eden.. Thx 4listenin 2my sob thou I knw u're v down w yr r/s s well.. Every1.. I m very silly.. But I'm stil d FeL FeL u guys knw.. Des no way any1 can change it.. I wish every1 happiness.. Smiles.. And.. Zhen Xi Yan Qian Ren.. Dun b a failure like me.. LOL..

Hurts so much to know tt she's so upset each time I read her blog.. Wish I could ease her pain.. Give her a massage or smtg.. Nv in my life have I so wanna see her.. LOL.. She has too much on her shoulder.. Sigh.. Hopefully can meet for yr bday nxt wk Syl.. Miss u.. Take care k.. Drown yrself w water & DUN take so much lozengers.. They wont haf any effect if u take too much.. U told me tt yrself..

Trina say she's att.. Mm.. Wat can I say? My grandpa's brother past away.. Sigh.. Was still hopin he will get well.. Feelin extremely down.. I'm going to the beach now.. So wil write again..

Juz came hm & I bump into my mum in the kitchen.. LOL.. She nv ask anytg anyway.. Met Sam, Est & Ju ard 10.30pm at Happy Daze.. My horoscope was tellin me *In love, you will live happy moments with the loved person.*.. I thot it was sm1 else but turn out to be my gd fren, Ling.. Ling msg me at 11+ & ask me go mm.. She worked til 12+.. Of course I went down.. LOL.. I had wanted 2ask her out ard 8pm++ but scared she busy.. Den she suddenly sms me..

As usual.. She hugged me all the way like a little passive but she's straight.. Keep tellin me tt she like me bein femme.. So cute kinda stuff.. Hehe.. Pple keep askin for her numb but she nv give & use me 2block kind.. Stil as cute for her age.. 28.. I'm sure she'll b popular if she's les.. She's got the american born chinese accent which drives pple bazzard.. LOL..

Anyway.. My heart skip a beat wen she hug me.. Hahaha.. She's the 1st gal I like 5yrs ago but I dun like to TRY bending straight pple.. Now, she's like sm1 I wanna care for cos she drives herself nuts over work.. Tink she wanna escape frm reality more.. LOL.. I dun dare 2love anymore.. Love is juz.. Mm.. I dunno how 2describe.. Mayb I need a break til I meet sm1 who cares den I'm ready 2settle down w her & she's ready 2settle down w me..

I had tis thot in my mind the whole day 2day.. Tis part flashed into my mind.. The time wen we parted after having breakfast 2gether & u refused 2let me send u hm.. I teared in the cab.. I once had sm1 I love & I din treasure.. It was the most.. Mm.. Hong Hong Lie Lie kinda love 4me.. But surprisingly, it wasn't with Tri.. I guess.. Every1 wanna haf those kinda feelin once in a lifetime.. I had mine, so I guess my life has been quite fruitful til now.. I ought 2tk a break.. A rest frm emotionals.. Frm the roller coaster kinda life.. I've my memories.. Which is pretty gd enough.. *smilez* Smtimes I stil cant help but missin..., but I decided not to show it anymore..

P/S: Anggie.. I'm sorry.. I knw u're nice 2me.. Super super super nice all these while.. But I'm not ready.. I really care 4u as frens & I hope it'll stay that way.. At least for now ok? For now..

Meet my ex Olivia today.. She looks so.. Oowww.. LOL.. She looks gd.. Beta den b4.. She's like a changed person.. She's much more happier now.. And I'm happy for her.. She changed sm concepts of mine abt sm stuff too.. We met at Rocky Master & we went to eat in Mache.. Had my oysters & she had tons of food.. After that we went to Paulaner cos her fren was singing in the life band.. Before leaving the pub, her friend stare at me for a while & told me *U've a really nice smile..* Haha.. So long nv hear tt liao.. So happy.. Like wanna fly kind.. I shld & wil smile more now.. Hahahaa.. Siao.. Mm.. *still flying high* Been missing sm1 too.. Havent seen her for decades & I stil got a comical eeyore infront of me.. Hope u've time for diner b4 yr bday k.. Me & my fren going KTV to make it close down on Sat.. LOL..

For the past 2wks, I was very unstable.. I couldn't figure out what I was doing.. Wanted to love sm1 but I was shut out.. I thot real hard for the past 2days.. Nv in my life haf I thot so hard abt tgs.. Sm tgs I simply give up, sm tgs I decided to try again.. Sigh.. Finally.. I've set sm goals in life.. I was too aimless before.. Only thot abt love, but nv thot abt my future.. Nv thot that havin a beta future, pple wil feel more secure w me too..

Thx for callin me almost everyday for the past 2wks, thou u fall aslp smXs.. Haha.. Dun blow yr lap top k.. I'll let nature take its course like u say, while I work hard towards my goal.. I'll get my degree.. I'll get my driving license.. I'll lose weight.. I know it's abit late but.. I still wanna try again.. It's not that I dun wanna meet u when u ask me out u knw.. I'm not ready.. I wanna make sm changes 1st ok? Thx for stil bein nice.. I shld b ready to see u in 2-3wks time.. I'm gonna start my drivin lesson nxt wk alr.. Losing weight is on the way.. Gonna enquire abt my course hopefully in 1wk.. Juz feelin damn nervous abt my drivin classes.. Phoof.. Going gym 2burn sm fats later!!

Met my new young frenz & sam at compasspoint.. All pretty young but pretty fun.. Played *true & dare* kinda tg.. They wanted to cheer me up so keep sabo-ing me.. Ask pple to kiss me kinda stuff wen it's dare & I was caught blushin once too.. Of course lah.. How can I let sm1 I juz met kiss??!! Kao.. Laff til so loud sm more.. But thx 4all the fun anyway.. LOL..

I stood outside my house for 10mins.. Lookin downstairs.. I'm a little scared of heights, yet 2nite, I juz stared blankly down.. Fortunately, I nv found the courage to jump & I thot of Anita.. Probably it's juz depression outta sudden.. Coughin so badly & I stil went gym frm 2pm-5pm yesterday.. Juz dun1 2b in the hse by myself..

Mayb it's retribution.. The other door has closed.. Probably tat's y I felt so sad no matter how much my frenz consoled me.. I wanted her shoulder so much, I dun even knw why myself.. Guess I shld juz stop msgin her in case I piss her off.. =( I knw she's got too much on her shoulder & 2busy 4me.. I really wanted 2help cos I dun1 2see her work so hard, it's very.. She won't accept it & I can understand why.. Work, mum & all is too much for her age.. Juz hope for the best for her.. And.. I miss her.. If u're readin, juz sms me if u need anytg, I'll be there k?

Raine.. Thx for the concern.. U've been so nice.. Always there wen I break down.. Sigh.. One day, u'll juz stop answerin my calls cos I too troublsome.. I can understand.. I know u'r pissed off tt I'm full of weird thots recently.. But.. Tt's juz FeL.. Tt's juz me.. I won't die yet.. I still wanna go back to Paris & UK.. =o)

Din tink I'll blog tis fast.. But I've straighten out alot of tgs.. I set a goal during the darkest hours of my life & I hope I can do it.. I'm glad I've so much pple who stil care wen I neglected them.. Thx Lydia.. 4keep callin me.. And Jovan.. Callin me immediately wen she knows I'm down.. Syl syl.. Thx 4tryin 2cheer me & Eden up last nite.. LOL.. I felt much beta 2day.. I slept finally, but stil no appitite 2eat.. Tried 2tk cereal but puke out.. Mm.. Wil eat abit later lah but nt 2much yo.. My aim is stil 2drop 8kg by end of tis wk.. =o) I did it b4 ok??!!! ;p But stil.. Thx u knw.. I'm so sorry abt how I treated u in the past.. Yet now, u're stil willin 2stand by me wen I'm so down.. So speechless & feel like slappin myself smtimes..Thx so much.. It's frm the bottom of my heart.. Hehe.. I'll allow myself 2b sad 4abit more den everytg is over.. Anita was strong too.. So how can her fans be so weak??!! Haha.. If destiny is meant 2b, it will b.. Maybe we might be 2gether again sm day.. Or I might find sm1 I love even more next time.. =o)The blog song pierce rite in2 my heart man..

~~~~~~~~~Dar & I broke up~~~~~~~~~~~~
The end of my story.. Wont be bloggin for a while..

Gosh.. Whole body so tired 2day.. Wen I woke up, throat was like dry 2d max.. Den nose can't smell anytg & tongue cant even taste my tea.. Den I knw.. Damn lah.. I'm sick inside out.. Sian.. Stil went 2teach thou.. Mid Year exam is a mth's time.. Keep fallin aslp on the bus.. And in2 deep slp sm more.. My gosh.. 2mrw gotta teach 2student again.. Have to wait til Fri den break time.. Dar also sick liao.. Havent met 4 2days.. Like so long.. We're quarrelin lesser these days.. She's always givin me alot of patience.. Makes me feel much beta & less bad tempered.. LOL.. I prefer like tat, rather den always quarrel.. It's always cos I snap den she snap back.. Mayb tat's why I'm more cheerful thou I'm sick.. Hehe.. Gonna slp soon.. Need 2get well den can tk care of her..

Was suppose 2meet a fren yday but din get an answer.. Actually told Dar I nt free the day b4, den Dar's fren cancelled their appointment also.. Hehe.. Lucky 4me!! So, we met 4diner at 10pm.. We went 2eat at my *used to be* fav chicken chop store in AMK but realised tat it had change owner & the standard drop like shit man!! Mm.. So we conclude the best chicken chop is stil Hougang Plaza & *Ke Ai Ji* brand.. Wah haha.. Dar was so happy wen she eat the Hougang Plaza chicken chop, so enthu & tell me wil bring me 2eat d nxt day.. But I had been eatin der since young kind.. Muah haha.. So cute..

She juz bought a new car yday evenin which wil come in July.. So happy kind.. There was a kinda magical sparks last nite which wasn't der 4so long.. Was glad we met dar.. Hehe.. Diner done.. Went 2watch *The eye 2*.. Wah lau.. We were like glue kind.. Keep huggin me.. Not too bad, Shu Qi actin improved.. Overall, it's pretty sad story.. Yawn.. Dar say wanna come, but 1.30pm stil nt here, must b stil slpin.. I go cook smtg 4lunch & wait 4her 2come, den can heat up & eat.. So weird.. I feel so in love again after last nite.. Hehe..

I really wish I could feel more secure.. It's gettin quite outta hand.. Sigh.. Bein in a r/s & bein out of it is the same.. Humanz find tgs 4them 2tink.. But I can't help it.. Wat 2do.. Dun tink abt it now.. Dun tink.. Dun..
Lydia is so cute.. I went 2teach her son 2day & she was late 4 an hour.. She brought her son 4a hair cut, den I gotta knw tt she's got a house mate.. Saw her 4d 1st time & she ask Lydia if she can exchange contact w me.. Miss call me 2X sm more.. Mm.. I dunno.. Like damn funny kind.. LOL.. Sigh.. My heart stil feel so heavy.. Beta go watch sm TV & fuck off PROBLEMZ..

Was sick day.. Call Tri & she juz dump me a *I'm playin mahjong, call u 2nite*.. Sigh.. Always playin mahjong.. Hate it.. Going Sentosa 2mrw w sis & Tri's family.. Sigh.. Sore throat, dun feel like bein in the sun but my sis & Tri seems v.enthu abt it..

Anggie handed me 1K askin me 2go learn driving.. But I turn it down.. It's not a problem abt dignity u knw? Its juz tt, it's not rite.. I will learn drivin at mth end.. It's smtg I wanna do 4myself.. But really.. Thx.. I really really really appreciate it ah & hope we'll always b frenz k... Alwayzzz.. *grinz*

Went 2Joyce place cos it's my godson Tristan birthday.. The one in Joyce tummy is confirm gal liao.. Guess wat? Her hubby wanna name her Trina??!!! How am I ever gonna get tt name outta my mouth.. Wah lau.. I kenna shock kind.. LOL.. After that, went home ard 10.30pm 2celebrate my dad's bday.. So funny.. Rush like mad.. Sigh.. Ard 12+, my sis drove my dad's car w Est, Sam & me 2Happy Daze lor.. Our fav hangout..

We went Geylang 4supper.. Was fun, like 2drive ard 4a spin.. But 2day was scary kind.. Cos I almost died if my sis or the other car's driver had brake 1sec slower.. Wah lau.. He was juz beside me.. My gosh.. Imagine the shck & the impact man!! The guy almost flew 4ward.. And he was juz 3cm away frm me, side by side.. Lucky he pull his steerin wheel abit, if not.. Sigh.. I was lucky thou.. Haha.. Gonna slp soon.. Need 2teach all day den mayb meet dar 4a show in the evenin.. She's been complainin tt I dun1 2accompany her wen she's always playin mahjong..

I was suppose 2go *Why Not* last nite but I fell sick.. Sian.. Havent felt so sick 4long time.. Yet 2day, I went 2meet Shelley cos she's going back 2China 2mrw.. I hope she'll come back.. Sigh.. Feels weird tt she's leavin.. She's always d one I consider a *true fren*.. And 2ndly, I wish 2c Syl.. It's been 3mths since we last met.. I missed her.. I thot she hated me & wont wanna c me 4d rest of my life..

Met Shelley outside KFC's bus stop ard 2.05pm.. While I was on d MRT, Syl msg ask me wat time meetin.. Still s blur s ever.. Muah haha.. She say nv receive my msg tt I told her meet her at 2pm.. Went 2check my *Sent Box*, have leh.. Msg must have dropped in2 d sea.. She came at 3+.. Covered my eyes w her hands frm behind.. I got a shock kind.. But I sniffed & recognised her ciggi smell on her hands immediately.. LOL.. After tt we sat down 2chat.. Was quite leisure.. Thot will feel strange or she'll ignore me.. Hehe.. I hope we'll get 2meet again.. Miss playin pool w her.. *grinz* Hope she doesn't hafta go 4op aft takin d medicine.. Really pray hard sia.. *Deep sigh*

At 1st, me & Dar wasnt suppose 2meet.. Wanted 2go down Suntec.. Den suddenly she called & say wanna pick me.. I was like.. Mm.. Why she wanna pick me? Wen I was on d car, I ask her, she said 2send me hm.. I was like.. Wow.. Wat happen 2u.. Anyway, it was sweet.. Sigh.. And I'm always quarrelin w her.. Shld cut down on meat stuff so tt I'll nt b so hot tempered.. Was pushin myself 2go Suntec, but my body simply gave way, my whole head was spinning & felt feverish.. SO no choice she send me 2compass point buy sm food ard 6+ den come my place watch d *Wo Ai Wo Jia* which I recorded 4her.. Den she left @7.30pm 2meet her dad 4diner..

I was trap in Lydia's toilet tt day.. Muah haha.. I'm teachin her son sia.. Den I had 2call 4Shaun 2gimme a screw driver, but he dun have.. Den he pass me a knife.. I was pounderin in d toilet 4a while tinkin wat 2do w it.. Den I used it s a screw driver & unscrew d door knob.. Muah haha.. So comical can..

Last nite, Dar ask me if I dun love her anymore.. Sigh.. Makes me tink back abt the past.. At 1point of time in Dec, I was rather determine 2give up on the r/s.. But a compass point shoppin changed everytg.. I decided 2try again.. I kept tinkin of the show *Slidding door*.. If d other door din lock up @tt time, wat would have happened if I went 2tt door?
Destiny is full of mystery.. Wen I thot I'm going d other way, I made a U-turn.. Doesn't matter anymore.. I alr took my path, so I shld continue walkin on..

Dar & me went out 2celebrate our 1000 days anniversary.. Juz an excuse 4us 2spend time 2gether.. LOL.. We hasn't been spending time w each other 4a while.. No wonder she ask such a question.. LOL.. We watched a movie at 4.30pm - *Big Fish*.. So so only.. Den went 2eat at *Phin's steakhouse* in Bugis.. End up the menu was wat we had in Perth's T & T, our fav steak house.. They've the steak stuffed w oysters inbetween.. But a pity.. They ran outta stocks 4oysters.. So we juz had a tenderloin.. But we'll go back & try it.. Had my escargots thou.. *slurp*.. After tt, we watched *Dirty dancing 2*.. Not a bad show thou.. I wanna watch *Cold mountain*.. Maybe catch it alone 2mrw b4 Madmonk or Sat lor.. Dar's like so busy during wkend.. Sian sia..

After celebratin my ah gong bday yday, we went out 4coffee w Ju, Sam & Dar last nite til 3am.. My sis fren was der too.. Wonder if they got a shock tt her sis is les.. Sam is obsess by d waitress in Happy Daze.. Tt's y we'r like der every Sat nite.. Almost went down mm cos her fren ask her to.. But I told her des not much fun on a Sat nite.. But I miss mm @times.. D music esp.. Haven't been der 4a while..

Woke up at 12pm 2day, had only 5hrs of slp sia.. Den immediately rush 2tuition.. Juz got back at 6pm.. Damn tired man.. My back hurts.. Tummy pain also.. Eyes tired but dun feel like slpin.. Later wanna bound after I eat.. Gotta go gym aft my student exam nxt wk.. So tired easily & lazy tis days..

Sam havin problem in school with sm uneducation bitch who wans 2 one on one.. Sigh.. Told sam not 2bother w tis kinda ungrateful bitch rite frm d start.. D 1st X I set my eyes on her, I hate her like fuck.. Des a limit to pple's patience.. If she insist on fightin.. She gotta bear d consequences herself.. Sam mayb soft hearted but I wont allow her 2b bullied by a brainless, ugly, not even a bimbo kinda gal..

Dar bought me chou dou fu frm Geylang.. So surprising.. But hor.. Taiwan one taste beta.. Smells much worse also.. Singapore one is like only 50% s nice s theirs.. Shld try HK one if I got a chance.. LOL.. Watched *Something's gotta give* yday.. Hilarious ah.. Got paris scene.. My heart skipped a beat.. LOL

Aft tuition, I went down2 Sim Lim Square w Sam 2help Rebecca buy PC.. Cos I on d way 2town 2look 4a car model.. Aft buyin d PC, went down 2bugis instead cos alr 8pm.. Sian.. Frm d start comb 2d N but cant find.. My knee hurts cos I fell down @hm in d noon.. Gt more painful wen I came hm, it turned purple.. Wil try another pl on Sat, no off at nite liao.. Den I bought Dar dumplin cos she say she wanna eat abt 3days ago.. In d N, she nv even come downstairs cos she playin mahjong, so I hang it by her door.. Sux.. Feel so bo liao..

Juz read a blog tt changed my whole mood.. 2make an impulsive decision is easy.. 2restore it is d difficult part.. Anita had inspired me alot in whichever way.. She fought hard in life & nt give up til d v.last sec.. In life, wat's at the end is nt d cruicial part, it's the process.. D ups.. And d downs..

I bought darLin w me 2my fren's, Xiuyun's wedding.. We were damn late cos Orchard jam all d way til Suntec so dar drive til go nuts kind.. LOL.. Dar say I look so cute in my long sleeves yday.. So tight sm more.. Aft diner I came out.. Wah kao.. Den I gotta knw tt d stars who attended d MTV asia award stayed in Fullerton.. So we waited cos dar wanna c F4.. We took pic w ~blue~.. Den I was tellin my fren if ah-mei walk past, I'll faint.. Suddenly sm1 walk past us & say *hello* *hello*.. Wah.. It was ah-mei sia.. My gosh.. So lucky I went 4d weddin den can see ah-mei.. Mm.. Best bday present liao!! Hehe..
Aft tt, my eye was bloodshot red.. Couldnt open my eyes at all.. Eye infection.. Had 2wash my eyes w d medicine.. Kao.. Like addin salt 2wound kinda feelin.. So dar send me 2her place & I slp til 4pm..

Went Marina South 4my bday diner w Dar, Est, Ju & Sam.. Sam was late so we were late 2pick my sis up @Marina.. 1hr sia.. LOL.. Cant rem wat we eat but mostly seafood which was so shiok.. My sis & dar finally got along well.. It ws like a dream tt they'll actually sit 2gether 2eat & laff, joke & all.. They used 2dislike each other so much.. My sis merely told me, s long s she dun hurt me again, she can accept her..

Aft diner, I felt like a kid.. Told myself inside aft 1whole wk of cravin 4bowlin, I can do it on my bday.. Wat a perfect bday sia.. But b4 tt went mm a while, til 1am.. Thot finally can play liao den dar drove her fren hm.. Took like 2hrs.. Her fren dun even knw hw 2go hm which really piss every1 off.. Sigh.. In d end, bowlin alley was closed.. Sian.. My heart dropped.. Felt smtg in my throat & heart's heavy.. Hate disappointment.. Was close 2a perfect day, yet smtg like tt happened.. Stil feelin abit sad.. I hate disapointment.. I hate disapointment.. I hate disapointment.. It sux.. Yet it kept happenin.. But human shldnt b 2greedy.. @least I was happy thou it aint perfect yeah?

Zouk.. I actually hate d place.. 2much bad memories der.. I cried outside @d benches, inside d toilet, felt d stab wenever I go der.. Sigh.. Yet ironically, I'm going der 2nite.. Dar likes d place wat.. So..

Juz came back frm supper w darLing.. She opened my wallet while I tried 2snatch it back.. Thot *DIE!! She'll sure flare up if she sees wat's in it*.. She actually saw d neoprint I took w Syl in it.. But she nv angry.. Phew.. Juz told me 2keep it properly if not will sure spoil.. Tt was so surprise.. Geez.. Anyway, meetin her 2mrw mornin.. Going Tiong Baru 2run an errand 4her mum den I go tuition while she get my bday gift.. Hehe.. My sis got me d Anita concert CD.. Dar will buy me d latest CD of Anita & concert VCD..

Tis yr bday gift is like all I want one.. She suggest we go KL 4d wkend wor but have 2see how kind.. Dar.. U can get me Anita CD 4present.. Prices is nv an option.. It's whether I like it or nt rite? U can buy a gold plated toilet bowl cover.. It's expensive but I wont like it.. So wat's the point yeah? Dun waste $ k.. It's imp.. Cos sm pple cant afford 2eat.. I rather u donate 2charity where d $ is in gd hands..

Sigh.. Coffee.. Dunno y.. I rather or I've always like 2stay hm.. Drink coffee waste $$ & put on weight.. Haha.. Anyway, going 4coffee w her nw.. Sigh.. Juz had a fight & she can't stand me lately cos I dun really wanna go out.. She juz dun understand..

But @times she's sweet.. I knw my temper is bad & I'm goin through depression.. I cry 4no reason & is irritated by little tgs.. I can hardly hear or sink in wat others is sayin.. Like gettin frm bad 2worse.. I dun1 2eat those anti-depression medicine again.. I always feel so tired aft eattin them.. I believe I can manage it myself.. Gimme more patience ok?

Wat shld I write 2day.. LOL.. Felt disappointed again.. Din go JB but went dentist with dar.. Den thot can spend whole day 2gether.. But her gd fren & her wan coffee.. Sigh.. I'm like ok, nvm, thou I hate it wen pple disrupt ESP my movie plan.. I dunno y.. Say so many times but it nv seems 2sink in any1's head.. Doesn't matter.. Den suddenly her dad call ask her collect car & nite time diner.. Sigh.. Der goes my whole fuckin day.. My only off day in d wk cos student havin yuan xiao diner too.. Sian.. I actually dun like 2go out at nite tis days cos I felt tt a day starts in the mornin.. Y do tgs at nite wen it's suppose 2b relaxed at my cosy arm chair.. 2mrw gotta work leh.. Unless like it's Fri cos Sat no work..

Sam Sam ask me why I always put chinese songs & not english(d very 1st song she help me put one).. Mm.. I was tinkin also.. Y shld I copy others & put English song mah? It's my own diary leh.. I put it cos I like it tt's y.. Y shld I do wat others like ah? Esp the song.. I put songs tt best describe my mood @tt period of time.. Tis song *Bao Jing Yan Qian Ren*.. Tink so true kind in life, it toks abt love too.. If u can understand cantonese.. U'll understand my feelins at tis moment.. I gonna gunbound again.. Wonder wen will I reach the blue dragon stage.. Not askin for dragon, so far only 1person acheive it man.. I wanna buy an *angel protection clothes* also.. Work harder since I so bloody bo liao at hm..

Couldn't slp all nite.. Bad flu.. Can't breathe & kept sneezin.. Nobody even asked.. LOL.. Nvm lah.. Later need 2teach.. Will juz 4get abt everytg & get on.. Life is like tt..

Finally I knw hw it feels 2b waitin4 sm1 dwnstairs 2surprise her & she's nt hm, best wen HP is nt even on.. Retribution ah.. I've always believed in tt.. I need 2apologise 2 sm1 who I disappointed long time ago.. I really hope u'r takin care of yrself.. It's ok if u tinks my apologies or concern are fake.. But I truely hope u'r leadin yr life well.. Goin 4tuition.. Might juz go JB on Thurs alone, so sian in sg..

I'm depress.. Notg else.. Juz depress.. I'm tryin hard to trust but smtimes it's juz so hard.. Sian.. Juz gonna watch Anita VCD & gunbound a while b4 I slp.. Can't b bothered smXs.. Really tired.. Decided to load tis song.. Abit old but I tear each time I listen to it..

The same feelin of insecurity is der again.. Is it my depression tt's makin my mind run wild? I keep tellin tt devil's voice 2go away.. Keep playin gunbound wenever I'm free bt I can't stop tinkin.. I probably need 2slim down alot 2regain my confident.. Sigh.. So stress tt I couldn't & dare not eat much tis few days.. 2day I dun even feel hungry.. Beta get dwn 2sm gym tis wkend.. I can feel tt my slimin madness is comin back again.. I hate tis feelin.. I become v.obsess in it kind.. Cheer up man!! =o:::(

Me & Dar almost broke up.. But she suddenly ok liao.. Mm.. I also knw my temper v.bad.. Sorry k.. Tsk.. So slpy.. 2mrw gotta go dentist.. Yawn..

Been so busy tis few days.. For wat I also dunno.. Juz movies & coffee, if not juz go eat & eat.. LOL.. Going out 2have lunch with my fren soon.. Mmm.. Havin stomach upset.. But.. Tsk.. Too lazy 2stay hm.. Wah hahhaa..

Too lazy 2go out.. My *over-active* tooth broke in2 1/2, I might juz abstract it out & leave it hollow.. Sounds gross but might as well face d fact tt I'm old liao.. Haha.. Din even eat anytg since I woke up, except for drinkin water lah.. I feel so stress, tink I'm too fat liao, tt shld b d course of my depression.. So shld juz starve myself 2reduce my appitite cos it increase tremendously since I came back frm tour.. Time 2slim down.. It's now or never alr.. I alr so ugly den if I get any fatter, jia liat liao.. Hehe.. Mm.. Whole day playin gumbound.. Tink I'm addicted alr..

Well.. Tis new yr is boring.. Did notg but eat & slp.. Went to watch *Silver Hawk* 2day aft visitin.. sian.. 7.19am & I can't slp.. Miss the days in Vancouver.. Was much happier.. Miss the snow.. Sigh.. Had a big arguement with her.. Hate it wen I'm force 2say tgs I dun feel like.. Maybe nxt time, I shld learn 2keep my moods & put up another face.. Hack it.. Workin again on Monday.. Yawn.. Might juz go mm & slack later 2nite or majong at hm..

Went out 2have a hair cut den met my sis for a movie at Ps.. After tt went walk walk at PS & Taka.. Den Newton 2buy pepper crab + mussels 4our diner at 11pm.. Haha.. Sigh.. I lendin $2K to Dar's best fren so I have 2b more thrifty.. I trust her thou & she helped me wen I was in the lowest peak of my life.. Wanted 2walk hm aft meetin Dar yet she pass me $10 2tk cab.. So silly yet so sweet.. Hehe.. Xiao Jason, we going mm on *Chu Er* rite? But u can't go in.. How ah? Tsk..

Been havin depression 4days.. Sat der watchin d stars & cry.. Wanted 2hurt myself but remembered tt I promise darLin I won't hurt myself again.. Morever her dad found out abt us 2day.. Wat to do? I pre10 2b calm cos dar is cryin.. My heart so pain.. Wish I can go over & wipe the tears away..

DarLing.. No matter wat.. I've set my mind on spendin d rest of my life with u esp after I came back.. Even if we can't meet everyday, can't stay over.. I'll still love u.. Let yr dad cool down 1st k.. If he cuts yr allowance, u still have me, I can starve but I won't let u starve.. *pullin my ear* Dar.. Mm.. Sorry.. I smoked at hm 2day.. Too stress alr.. Sigh.. I miss u..

Suddenly felt tt I'm v.fortunate.. DarLing.. I miss u so much.. We had so much arguement b4 u came back.. Break up so many Xs.. But.. U din give up.. U changed so much u knw tt? I thot u'll juz let go wen I say let's break up.. But instead.. Wen u came back, u treat me extra nice..
U keep askin wat I like abt u.. Mm.. I like yr sweet attitude wen u're in love.. Yr nt givin up.. Yr persistent.. Hehe.. Make me feel important.. But we balance alr rite? In the past.. After so long, I knw u're still d 1 who treats me d nicest.. U nv left me wen I wanted 2.. I'm still learnin alot of tgs.. I hope we'll last.. Really hope so.. *blush*

Sigh.. Who was the creator of emotions? Hate disappointment esp.. My whole heart like drop to the rock bottom.. FeeL so.. Whole day mood also no more.. Yday say wanna come my house watch TV with me.. New Year is comin also.. Dun like.. A time where I can watch movie.. But alone.. Sigh.. Every1 busy bai nian except me.. Only Chu Yi visiting den other 2days doing notg.. Dunno if Xiao Jason can accompany me..

Receive a msg last nite.. Hurt me to the max.. It's my fault.. No matter how I tried & care, it's no use.. Guess I've given up.. If only we can still be frens.. Believe it or not.. I wish her all the best in her future, happy & healthy..

心里有一个令我十分牵挂的人，不知道她现在过的好吗?好多次想找她，却害怕收到她冷漠的回答。我的关心在她眼里，只不过是虚情假意罢了。心好痛，真真正正感觉到无法呼吸。。若当初选择了另一条路，也许今天，我们会是最要好的朋友，也许她也不会恨我，也许她还会让我关心她。。太多的也许。。但。。我真心祝福她会永远快乐，健健康康。是我咎由自取啦！吵死人了！我已为她许了个愿。。。。。该睡了啦，明天要教书哪！新的一天，新的开始！

I guess nobody knows I'm actually very affected by Anita's death.. It hurts so much each time I read her news.. Esp 2mrw.. She'll be gone forever..I tear so much 2day.. Each time I tink of her.. Sm1 who I like alot.. I dun even know why I'll feel so sad over a star.. She's indead special.. 谢谢你曾经陪我走过的日子。愿你来生过得好，真心祝福你。

Went to a hotel with darLing last nite at 1am.. Ah ahhaha.. We're nuts.. LOL.. Juz wan sm private time for ourselves.. Cos everytime I'm at her place, her mum is der.. Sigh.. I've made up my mind.. I wan her in my life for as long as possible.. Before the trip, the scarf has made me so moved.. After Anita's death, I felt that I've to treasure my loved ones.. Sigh.. Life is so unpredictable..

I'm finally back in Sg.. Sigh.. 1st day & I nv go home liao.. Wonder wat my mum tinks.. Must be hopping mad.. Had hell loads of trouble at the custom man.. All becos of a pistol lighter.. Hehe.. But the nice counter gal help us through.. Phew.. Gotta know a gal who resembles Anita at a nite market.. We were queuing for dou hua den she turn ard.. Suddenly she juz commented tat my eyes are very big & nice.. LOL.. So we exchange number also dunno for wat.. She's 33 but pretty cool.. Anyway, tink she's straight.. Haha..

I was in Xi Men Ding again last nite.. Bought sm stuff, walk around with the cute auntie.. Den there was a big crowd smwhere so we walk over to see.. The auntie ask a gal why so happening.. It was F4.. But we din really wanna stay so we walk off.. To avoid the crowd, we walk frm a corner den tis guy, 2gether with 4other person brush past.. I look up & it was Jerry Yan Cheng Xu.. Not bad.. He's quite gd looking.. He was wearing all black & black cap too.. Dashing.. Dear.. U like him rite? Sigh.. U shld have come with me.. I bet u'll pounce on him kind.. Hehe..

I went to the *shi ling ye shi* (biggest nite market) last nite.. It was damn crowded.. Taiwan is not bad but I prefer Vancouver snow.. The weather & air is much beta.. Still abit of Jet Lag.. Sian.. My sis & cousin going back today.. Miss them man.. Sigh.. Saw F4 Zai Zai at a Taipei shopping mall.. Got sm kinda mini concert kind.. I bought Anita Mui *Nu Ren Hua*.. It's nice man.. But can't find her HK concert VCD.. Tsk.. Dunno have or not.. Den got a few CD also trying to find.. All outta stocks.. Sigh.. Everytime I tink of her & listen to her cd.. My heart twitch.. I'm so fortunate to have sm1 to love me & I love now.. Sigh..

Will be going to zouk les party on the 15th.. DarLing.. Got any date alr? If not, we go? Sorry for not calling or sms u wor.. So difficult here.. No PC man.. I made a string of plan with Sam leh.. Wen we go back, we doing gym at least once a wk den she come play basketball on a wkend den I teach her chinese.. She's so sweet tt day.. She walk off herself den I almost freak out.. Scolded her wen I found her cos I was so scared leh.. Den she hand me the earring which I lost, she bought it!! Sigh.. So sweet.. I was so embarrassed man.. No wonder so many gals like her.. I also very *teng* her.. Stop being so sweet lah xiao jason.. ;p

**Written on 1st Jan but couldn't update..**

I arrive in Taiwan yday.. It snowed heavily in Vancouver make it so
difficult for me to go.. Sigh.. I miss every1 der.. I miss the
aunty.. At least she's been nice.. My sis eyes got problem.. Tink she
got sensitive to the snow.. My cousin toe swollen.. I love the snow..
DarLing.. We must go to smwhere snowing nxt time k.. It'll be damn
romantic to kiss on the snow leh..

Last nite our Taiwan relative made us steamboat.. The weather is
fine.. 20'C.. Abit hot but they wrap themselves & tink that we're
damn cool to wear so little.. The stupid bed got bed bug so we use
our own blanket we brought from Vancouver as the bed cover.. 2nite
going to night flea market.. Hehe.. I wanna eat *chou dou fu*!!!