20080831

DYING CHRISTIANS -OSCURO SINFONIA

warning: sensitive content; Muslims should read, people against evangelists should also read.

















i respect Catholics, i really do.
i respect Buddhists, in fact, i admire them, peace-loving bunch.
i respect Hindus/ Taoists/ Jews and so on because they carry on with their religious beliefs and (largely) leave Islam alone.
Christians on the other hand, piss the shit out of me.
Christian evangelists for that matter.
I have Christian friends but none of them, except one, ever tried to impose their beliefs on me.
the above comic-strip is what i received in an email.
there is even a form to sign up and become Christian!
AMAZIIIINNGGGGG. UP YOURS ASSHOLES!

dear evangelists,
we do not need you to tell us whether our God is false or true.
we do not need you to "enlighten" us on the history of Islam.
we do not need you to twist the words of the Holy Qu'ran into some kind of circus freak show meant to deceive and propagate our innocent Muslim minds.
we do not need you to question some of our wayward Malay-Muslim kids on whether they recognise who is their God and what are the ways of our Prophet.

I, myself have given the finger and fucked evangelists on the street for asking me to believe in the fundamental existence of their God.
next time, i'm going to make a police report.
you can pray to your God in prison.

do you want to be labeled as a religion which does not practice the value of respect when they teach it to their younger generation?
what kind of religion goes around telling Muslims that their religion is a cult and that they have been misled all of their lives with little or no regard towards the way the Muslims feel?
what kind of religion, instead of focusing on bringing back their wayward youths to the right path, changes and twists the words of the Qu'ran, misinterpret it, print these misinterpretations for all to see and thus, deface and mar the name of Islam?
what are you? GOD?!?!?!

these people who have taken the time to illustrate this false picture of Islam don't deserve to die.
fuck you assholes, you should live in the iron maiden.

i want to make it clear that i am not against Christians
but i am against those Christians who consciously feel the need to fabricate lies just to bring down the name of Islam and promote Christianity at the same time.
i am also against those who impose their beliefs on others.
if you believe in something then believe in it!
do not impose on others to believe in it too!
why? desperate attempt is it? just because Islam is the fastest growing religion in America?
do not bring up the subject of terrorists here, or "jihad".
they are 6 forms of jihad and whatever the terrorists are doing does not lie in the context of the any of the actual 6 forms of jihad.
they are merely using Islam as an excuse to infuse terror up your capitalist ass!
also, i am just as against terrorists as you people are!

there is no other word to describe this act except disgusting.
i am thoroughly angered by the comic strip.
and although i may not be the best example of a Muslim,
i know my facts, i know what's respect.

by the way, to everybody who likens Islam to Christianity or vice versa,
it is not true and i know why because i study religion, bitches.
if you want to know, tag the fucking board.
and please forgive my language, it is unbecoming of a Muslim lady to speak in such a manner.
i did not say i was a perfect Muslim though.

so evangelists and the like, please dig a grave for yourselves.
are you sure Jesus would approve of lying?

I WANT TO START A RIOT.
ANNA.

the fasting month is coming up and i shall make full use of this month to repent for my sins
and clean my heart.

if any of you whore-like peasants offer food to Muslims or purposely try and tempt Muslims by eating or drinking infront of them during this holy month of Ramadhan (ie. Shaun Matthew Niyo Ramdas who did it last year), i have nothing else to say except tell you that YOUR GOD DID NOT TEACH YOU ANY MANNERS.

frantic

there is a place where balloons end up after they slip out of the hands of a little girl as she grasps for the string that slowly drifts further beyond her reach. sometimes, balloons just become untied and slowly float away until they are out of sight.

havent you ever wondered where balloons end up once they easily glide out of the hands of lovers, friends, families? a place where moonlight shivers as it touches lost memories and licks the sweet shining fantasies only to be poisoned. so beautiful, so deadly. memories like mercury in the moonlight.

a place where, before lust, comes nasi ayam penyet.



see the post on top, very angry right? very scary right?
heehoohaa.

you humans will never know what she's really really like behind these smiles..







like a viper, she hides hers.

QAMARUL ASYRAF.

20080830

why humans and vampires dont go

because they laugh at you when you have heartburns.
because they bite you so hard, its permanent.
because they hate as much as they love.

so you dare steal mine?
i will kill you before she does.

"because i miss the funny you.."
i dont know what happened to me.
you have my soul, sweep me away my storminess.


and yeah, i went over her place today.
and we waltz, in black.

V.

20080829

i blow your house down

our rship has gone beyond logic.
strange as it is, its easy enough to understand.

for us, never for you.

ilovemynaughtycheekychubbyvampire.

saya akan gigit gigit pipi mu.

V.

TO MAKE LYCAN'S THOUGHTS RUN WILD

READ THE FOLLOWING:

THE BEST FRIEND 24/03.08
his arm was slung across her shoulders as they made their way up to the lecture theater.

"oh well..." (there was something different about him)

as they parted to enter their different classes,
he gave her a peck on her cheek.

(i will always love you my friend.)
smile smile smile

she entered her classroom and sat beside her boyfriend.

(a video was playing on the screen)

"Did you hug him?"

should she lie?


THE EX-BOYFRIEND 10/04.08
her's skated to his when they came.
'how you?' and the glint of teeth (like fangs but not quite) showed through the unlit, early evening.
smooth verbal traffic.
easy.
comfortabke.
affection.
she came.
her's skated away.

disclaimer: none of the events are true.

this will provoke my boyfriend and i just like it when he is provoked.
surprise surprise lycanboy, when you come home to this.
(find it in my organizer.)
only i can provoke this beast and walk away unscathed.
now, that makes me feel like royalty. :)

bet you folks, this is how it'll be like:

qamarul asyraf, son of none (PISSED OFF): you like to do this to me right, girl?
anna sita azmi-tay shii ann, daughter of AZMI (GLEEFUL): yes, no doubt about it.
qamarul asyraf, son of none will then proceed to shake his head.

simple words used.
BUT HIS IMAGINATION (!)
and i know he'll link this to the two people he hates.
khalid and satan spawn.

please do not call me sadistic.
i am merely strange.
I WILL DIE STRANGE because i am strange.

the stormqueen.

20080827

dearest queen, stormiest of them all,

we have life together.





i got homework. omg. yes i do.

love,
mr.wolf
appreciate much everything lycan does for me.

SCREW EOM. DID MY 8TH AND LAST DRAFT.
8TH?!?! CANT BELIEVE I WENT THROUGH THAT DARNED THING LIKE A MILLION TIMES. (to do more A&E, add GI, too much A&E, cut down on words, add more GI, more words, link back to objectives, cut down on words, cut down until 592words, not enough, have to add somemore. total = 597words from 1200plus! ps. word limit = 600)

GP PROMOS TOMORROW.
i am not ready.
so God save me.
Amen.

lovelycanlove.
shii ann is sick of sakae sushi.

20080826

case of throat infection, but only to the right side of my throat.
case of swollen gills? (but i am not a fish...)
i am so kental, i hope it's not throat cancer. choyyyyy. *slaps parquet floor

WHY ARE THE PROMOS HERE :(

i am falling asleep before i even start on my homework
this is balls!!!

'AN

[edit] EOM STUCK AT DRAFT 6 MIGHT AS WELL KILL MYSELF! FUCK PW!

20080825

i am still as unreasonable as ever
and i am not sorry for it.

AND
i love lycanlove still.

note the colours?
note the reasons.

the one who nel called a tyrant. :)
im the library. i borrowed the school laptop. i am alone.
always am.
always fucking am.

dont you see?

right now the right thing to do is to get work done.
i am never right.


and when i try to explain, you get angry.
why why why why?
yes im patient.
yes i am.

vounte hellforge.

20080824

thirst

prowl.
soar.
jump.
fly.
grab.
bite.
drink.
drink.
drop.
thump.
thud.
poof.
wipe.
lick.
drink. drink. drink.

dead.

prowl.
stand.
stare.
sparkle.
love.
lust.
electric.
jolt. bolT. folt. Trolt. golt. kolt. colt.
lean.
bite.
soft.
sip.
warm.
drink.
LOVElovelovelovelove. eternity.

the first time you stared, you wanted.
i gave, 3 times.
and we are.

we are.


you i adore.

qa.
let's start with a quote:
"i'll have so much fun taking care of you when you are sick. even if you throw the bowl of porridge in my face." -lycanlove

tea with two teaspoons of sugar perhaps.

if my condition remains the same or worsens over the night,
i will declare myself a holiday tomorrow.
i cannot study when i am in this condition.

so gute nacht.

-anna

20080823

i feel too dumb to think right now.
i dont deserve braincells.

i am cold and my brothers took all the blankets and shit.
i never get anything anyway.

so fucking what, i have a life assured.

wonder what life would be if i didnt get biten and slashed..
there will be no life.

sherparte.

qa.
i can't believe i am going to burn the whole of my tomorrow (which is technically today because it is 1244 am) on something i dont really give a damn about.
the only wedding i am interested in attending is MINE.
i would much rather practice maths with si xuan if you please?
i love fucking pure mathematics and statistics compared to a wedding.
why am i required?
why am i subjected to this mental torture?
will people feel the same way about my wedding the way i feel about theirs?
why am i being this way to my own cousin?
just because we are not close?
but who can truly say that they are close to me?
besides lycanlove of course, who is currently recuperating in the cot under my mother's bed, which is the bed i am lying on right now.
i am presently online to supposedly complete my damned eom but my braincells are rebels and do not like to carry out the orders of my subject tutors.
so here i am with these little squares beneath my fingers pit-patting away.

someone buy me time, i need a month's worth of time.
if you do,
i will buy you a Lamborghini when i strike it ridiculously rich, especially when i find out that i am some Egyptian Princess who owns the Eiffel Tower instead of pyramids. i will even buy you two, yo.

buy me time so i may catch up with the sloth in me.
tay shii ann An'na

20080821

a generic conversation

“Hello.”

“Hello.”

“Have you ever considered being poetic?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“There’s no need to be.”

“Certainly.”

“Quite.”

“But what if you were?”

“Then I would be poetic. “

“Could you demonstrate?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“There’s no need to be.”

“No need to be what?”

“Poetic.”

“That’s strange.”

“Perplexing.”

“Astounding.”

“It’s not astounding.”

“My apologies then.”

“There’s no need to apologize.”

“My apologies.”

“There’s no need to apologize.”

“I believe we’ve entered a loop.”

“Certainly.”

“Thank you then.”

“Certain- wait, what for?”

“For being poetic.”

“I was poetic?”

“No.”



today i didnt text her when i went to artfriend.
she bit me deep.

because she loves me.
because i love her.
because we hate all.

qa.
your distraction,
my demise.

hate even more.

A.

20080820

land of aestival nights

lycanlove is lovelier than life.

all i want to type out right now is what is in my head
and the closest thing to how i can describe it
is a buzz
the one where lethargy is the victor

i like to call you beesxz kneesxz
and i have no idea why
although i have not called you that in recent [24 x 45] hours

fasting month is coming up
and i think my heart needs to be cleaned

yours,
shii 'an

thankyou nat, i know your eyes scan diestrange. thankyou for those.

20080819

the trip home today.

i sit
the icy breaths whirl
i hear the sounds
of the howl
trapped
in the unforgiving chill
i still sit

t. shii ann.

moon is marriage

i wonder what would happen to a werewolf if he's on the moon. a werewolf usually (usually....) needs the light of the full moon to evolve/transform. if you're on the freaking moon, you'll tranform out of your spacesuit and DIE because there is no oxygen. but then, lycans are made of different blood. hmmmm, ponder ponder.

i'l be on the moon in a few years time sleeping with a vampire, forever in power.

QA.

20080818

what makes you think...

'we all want to die like movie stars," you say
as you jumped from the height of our cutting room floor
while above us
glowing, exploding
our dreams burst forth in light and death
hold me and tell me "we''ll burn as we fall. watch as city lights dance for us."
-a.f.i.

it is freezing but it is the desert. what to do? maybe we'll see a body. maybe we'll see a few. i shook. did you?

i saw you in the picture you took with them when you were closed and i took you from it and kept you for myself.


this boy is my beloved kepala besi.

t.shii-ann.

20080817

[deleted]

come as you are. -Nrvn

it strikes me as odd that people make such a big deal over their monthsary,
(not referring to any couples in particular)
guess what, lycan and i, we're 16months old on 150808.
yay? is there need for presents?
we're only thankful that both of us are not dead yet,
that would be fucked up,
it is only the beginning.

a quiet place with chicken rice in hand to feed a ravenous girl.
a packet of fags and a bottle of water.
meditation in the face of the howling wind.
peaceful trip home.

-shii ann

20080816

death of a poet

I will no longer write poems

of longing, loneliness, of lost love, lingering
feelings for old flames, asking "who's the fool?"
My dictionary has been scoured, words devoured,
words like darkness, depths, despair, deleted
from my vocabulary.

I will no longer write poems

about eyes, about gazing
into them, being lost in them, drowning in them.
I will not speak of their beauty
or how they make me feel
wanted, needed. Nor will I write
of the eye's own lost love, the single tear
rolling down a cheek, a single drop
of rain, a single rose, a single smile
in a sea of faces, a sea of pain,
a sea, I will never mention the sea.
Every single cliché and standard will be erased
from the sea of words flowing forth
from my pen, onto paper. I will never
use the phrase "flowing forth."

I will no longer write poems

where birds take wing, where people
find freedom in flight. I will no longer
write about the sky, in all its expanse.
The horizon has disappeared, and sunsets
do not occur. I will not write
about shackles, chains, or any other bondage,
whether of the body, mind, heart, or soul.
I will never again mention mind, heart, or soul;
they will not be on fire, in your hand, weary,
lying, cheating, singing, hollow, or
laid bare.

I will no longer write poems

that make me into a hero, heroes
will no longer get the girl,
will no longer save the day,
will be berated or ridiculed, and killed
by a speeding bus, or in their sleep
by a quick and silent blade. Blades
will no longer cut
tension or wrists, but will slice
poems to shreds.

I will no longer write poems

about

I will no longer write poems

I will no longer write.



















































































or will i?

the taste of iron in my mouth even though i met you just yesterday

when i was 12, i woke up from a long induced coma.
when i was 15, the recovery process was almost complete.
i am stronger than i have ever been.

hello all, my name is sita.
i am a вампир.

20080814

i was soooooo furious just now.
[justin, if i sorta screamed at you to know where the stupid prata shop is just now, sorry!]
i wanted to surprise the malay out of qam
BUT NAFA'S RECEPTION COCKED UP MY PLANS.
anger aside, spent some time with him even though we were with his friends.
i found out that some random peasant told my boyfriend's friend (i think it's max) that my boyfriend is a mat.
hello! look in the fucking mirror please! if i had a chance just now i would have told him off.
look at your cheapskate typical mat attire!
my boyfriend is a melayu and not a mat please.
when i go nafa again and if i see you, i will honour you with my finger and a motherfucking slash across the cheek. (ah, i need to sharpen my nails.)
just because my boyfriend doesnt bother to dress up for school unlike you losers who always want attention, does not mean he is a mat.
MY BOYFRIEND IS NOT EVEN HUMAN!
being human is the number one criteria for being a mat.
you disgusting human you.
sheesh!
my boyfriend is a lycan-malay.
heard of it before? no right!
please find some asshole to fuck, you fucking gay bastard.
for all you know, that stupid gay (literally gay) fucker has a crush on my boyfriend.
TSK.

anyway, cabbed to united/ novena to shop with brandon (my ipod la dickheads!).
dont go to school, go shopping!
beatles taught me that.

off to call the lycanboy!

xoxo.
tay shii ann sita

20080813

sing a song a sing a song

so yeah, Becci is flying off. that would probably be the last time i'd ever see her ever. cool sia. that possibility of not seeing someone forever and that'd be the last time you'd be able to see her/him.

woah.

mindcrash.



i need to stay awake because chubby told me to wake her up at 1130pm. if i sleep now, i'd sleep through the alarm and get scolded by that fangy girl.

yes, stay awake.
idea yang sangat bagus.


and coz i love her so much.

qa.

smells like teen spirit -nirvana

my boyfriend always tries so hard to please and amuse me.
can't wait for my yellow ranger *clap *clap.

sending bex off tonight, am going to miss her.

i missssssss my boyfriend so muchhhhhhhhh.
:(

'AN.

20080810

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO WRITE OR SAYYYYYY.
i just want to make my presence felt.

can you feel it?
AN.

20080809

I AM A NUCLEAR WEAPON


"your anger is like a nuclear weapon. your radius of destruction is so far and wide, so vast. even i am tangled in it and slowly disintegrate. until the eye of the storm passes, i hardly breathe. when it does, i prepare for the next. " -qamarul asyraf

that is what he said to me in a text.
i sound so horrible right?
that's right, i am. but that is my boyfriend's problem and not yours.

(the photo reference above was one of the photos i took at the science centre atrium.)

an update on BEX.

MEET SIR JAMES KOH and the budding artist.





aboard the flyer, view of singapore; last saturday evening.
tried speaking in some russian accent to act tourist only :)


we did our nails yesterday.
deep(dark)purpleblacksabbathronniejamesdioyourmother'snameisSITA.

bex is leaving on wednesday. am going to miss her.
we are actually friends now, not partners.

khalid-anna conversation.

Liddilly Liddilly Lid says:
anna sui sonnon
Liddilly Liddilly Lid says:
hahah
'AN. says:
khalid late hate
'AN. says:
your muka like muka monster
Liddilly Liddilly Lid says:
cookie monster?
Liddilly Liddilly Lid says:
not goin out?
'AN. says:
NO WHAT FOR GO OUT
'AN. says:
eh
'AN. says:
can i hv stef back
'AN. says:
cus i cnt find another pony same as her la
'AN. says:
ah see
'AN. says:
type so long
'AN. says:
confirm lost alr right!
Liddilly Liddilly Lid says:
why u want to take back our daughter?
Liddilly Liddilly Lid says:
hahaha
Liddilly Liddilly Lid says:
still have la miang
Liddilly Liddilly Lid says:
eh,Tnt clever alrd sey
Liddilly Liddilly Lid says:
haha
'AN. says:
how big uh?
'AN. says:
i think i will be scared to bathe him
'AN. says:
so small alr so active!
Liddilly Liddilly Lid says:
no,he's different then who he use to be alrd
Liddilly Liddilly Lid says:
now as you mandi,he'll climb on top of your leg
'AN. says:
what the hell!
'AN. says:
he can like stick to your leg meh?
'AN. says:
oh, of course he can cus you have leg hair
'AN. says:
HAHHAHHAHA
'AN. says:
i dont have!!
Liddilly Liddilly Lid says:
NOT ON TOP LA!
Liddilly Liddilly Lid says:
haha
Liddilly Liddilly Lid says:
on the feet
'AN. says:
CHEY.
Liddilly Liddilly Lid says:
u talk like that like as if i sit and mandi
'AN. says:
you are just a normal human la, sheesh.
'AN. says:
K+H+A(LID)
'AN. says:
=
'AN. says:
PANTAT
'AN. says:
FACE
Liddilly Liddilly Lid says:
eh,u funny la
Liddilly Liddilly Lid says:
what's ur name?
'AN. says:
SANG PLATO
'AN. says:
(as in the sang in sang nila utama)
'AN. says:
K LA NOW I NOT FUNNY K BYE
*exits window

*opens new window
Liddilly Liddilly Lid says:
den merajok
Liddilly Liddilly Lid says:
haha
Liddilly Liddilly Lid says:
cute sia u
Liddilly Liddilly Lid says:
miang
'AN. says:
whats miang?!
Liddilly Liddilly Lid says:
EH!
Liddilly Liddilly Lid says:
brb
Liddilly Liddilly Lid says:
nk mandi!
Liddilly Liddilly Lid says:
sayonara.........
'AN. says:
adieu bitch

boyfriend is furious about the daughter and cute part.
his anger fascinates me too, his jealousy especially.

khalid used to be my besttttttesttt friend.

and now i am going to eat dinner.

ti amo boyfriend.
'AN.
i want to see the wizard of Oz.

wait, no that'l take too much time.
but then, it'l keep me occupied.

time is killing us.
2014, come quick.

prisoners of fear

the stars existed as a shared memory, told from the blue lips of the ancient with milky eyes. the sky was concrete and those with tall ladders could touch it. grass carpets under the permanently gray sky were adorned by cylindrical fountains. they were a tribute to the old days when water was natural. the whisper of the rain against the leaves was itself a whisper and the oxygen was not as pleasant to breathe.

maybe it was fear that drove them underground. a fear of the jungles and their fevers? a fear of lakes and Loch Ness monsters? a fear of the desert and its illusions? or the worst fear of all…

the realization that the sun is but a tiny star. that life might be random.
the fear that existing for the moment could never be enough.

and i need you as much.

QA.

20080806

HATE ALL OF YOU
INCLUDING YOU

AN

20080805

birds cant fall

when you close the door, off the lights, sit down in the middle of the room and close your eyes, do you like what you're hearing?

shhhhh, be quiet. you might piss somebody offfffffffff...

loners dont love that solitude they are in. they are alone because they dont fit in. they dont belong. or maybe they dont want to.

i feel lonelier in a crowd.
i need her.
badly.
we have been treated like a bunch of snucked up fools
scorned by many, understood by few- acab



LOOKING FORWARD TO THE WEEEEKEEENDDDD.
POOL AND COMPANY.

'an

panoply of rifts, harmonious rolls & rhythmic sex. (arss cvr ; a.cpr's rss.n.wht.lc.)

metallica/ sombre/ sad but true
stuck in my head.
not really a favourite.

pw; this moment.
am ignoring the need to complete my eom draft two.

another note:

between
the
lies
our
dead
language
tongues/
damnation's
diction
a
deadly
disclosure/
how
perfectly
hideous
so
eloquently
scribed/
each
scripture
so
skillfully
sick.

trophy of the bereaved.
i miss lycanbaby.

ANNA (IS NOT YOUR FRIEND).

20080803

HAD FUN TODAY LAZING AROUND IN THE POOL.
I WISH EVERYDAY IS THE WEEKEND :D

thank you for the chocolate straws smoft.
'an.

20080802

i will burn you the next time..

you fucking walk my motherfucking way.

i fucking fucking hate when people stop in the middle of their stupid "fast walk sia!".
WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK look left STOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.

bitch. ass. cunt. bastard. dog. cb. pukimak. buto. sundal. pelacur.

ambek kau.

well anw, today we had a tired day.
me gf becs.

i met Sir James Koh (i knighted him). motivation sia.
enough about him, later you all go attack him for motivation. no no, cant let you humans do that.

i love that vamp.
like a bitch.













qam has succesfully caught a Lugia.

20080801

alice c.

I hear you calling and its needles
And pins (and pins)
I want to hurt you just to hear you
Screaming my name


my dad reprimanded me for speaking singlish at approximately 703pm today. :(





ilovelovelovelovelovelycanbaby. LOVE. L-O-V-E.


NYLAH WILL FOREVER BE MY NEL LAH.

SI XUAN IS THE KINDEST PERSON EVER. :) heehee. you know, i know.

lovelovelove,
'an

ps. for once, i am not feeling so much hate, just love. must be the aircon and my sleepylittlehead. adieu! (adieu reminds me of hamlet.)