this is what i did for the past one hour.
i watched gossip girl episode 15,
swore at georgina sparks,
(i hope that dan &serena don't break up in the next few episodes),
blog-hopped,
came across a "CHERfliq" (whatthehukki!) with a muthafucken RAGDOLL EPILOGUE BROCHURE THING on her disgustingly "trendy" retro-inspired blog
and got fucken pissed at that!
okay, i get it.
ragdoll does not consist of guitar gods accompanied by to-die-for vox.
but khalid happens to be inside!
what have you become?
damn, you're some scene god or something. (and you're not funny anymore!)
i am sickened, thoroughly.
during the past four months in school,
i don't behave like me anymore.
i lost my favourite company and although i have good friends,
lessons aren't the same and i simply can't be bothered with schoolwork.
on top of that, i have so much energy ready to be expelled yet, i only use a fraction of it for cheerleading.
this energy is therefore still contained and it's driving me crazy.
i want to get physical but canoeing is out of the question unless i transfer to NJC or MJC right now via DSA.
touch rugby with a bunch of mates i don't favour?
no thank you, next please.
and then what?
wait for the k4 thingy in june?
it's been a year since i sat in a k-anything!
i just can't go to school everyday.
it's driving me nuts.
buying a hookah seems like a very good option.
i can smoke sheeshaa (shisha) everyday before and after school.
occasionally, i'll invite nilah and we can bribe some gangster to get us weed!
the monotony of shuffling to classes with a file and a dagger in hand!
what use is there for the dagger?
i can't kill.
if only killing is a solution,
i'm pretty sure i won't be complaining.
good God,
thankyou for good pw mates.
i seriously forgot how to socialise, i swear.
where are my friends?
what friends?
my friends, fafe.
what fafe?
i would like to blame this mood on my hormones but then it would be a lie.
i don't lie.
except when i skip lessons.
the boy who is greatly disliked by all MI tutors except mrs wee is missed much!
he used to run with me during pe.
and i used to beat him, you know that?
and you know what else?
he let me beat him knowing that i would have actually lost if he wasn't accommodating.
and you know what else?
i made him believe that he was a lousy runner and thus, forced him to eat my dust.
he used to make me laugh during maths.
all i do during maths now is to teach jonathan how to read musical notes,
discuss the importance of metal for hungry youths like us
and also moan about our maths homework which is piling up!
oh, he also asked me today, during maths, if i can pig squeal. the one that goes "Kwee!".
fyi, i can't!
and there is a test of friday!
boy, am i excited!
plus you know what?
i wanna fucken skate like bloody danny way!
although i can't now cus i might just break a few bones trying to jump the great wall of china like danny way.
i can't afford that
cus they'll have to wrap me up like a mummy
and when i'm at the airport waiting for my flight to korea,
the police might suspect i'm a terrorist
and then i'll be detained
and i'll miss my flight
and i will get so fucken pissed that i'm not going korea that i might become a terrorist
and kill all those who are a threat to my NUS admission in 2010!
you know what,
if anyone knows whether dan &serena broke up,
PLEASE TEXT ME.
tyty &lovetotheboy
&to the one who saw me in 238! (nilah)
xoxo
anna,
who is also Pe'ah's student.
ms j are you reading this?
20080429
Alas! A lasting atlas at last!
It was a habit of mine, amongst millions of others, to walk in harmony with my girlfriend. im not exactly meticulous about it but whatever the relative distance between us, i’d contend to making partially certain that our footfalls matched, so much so that a faraway passerby would fail to recognize the presence of more than one person.
except when she's in a skippy mood. i'l just watch her jump and dance around.
she used to be so so jumpy.
then i left her on her own.
i miss her. truly.
except when she's in a skippy mood. i'l just watch her jump and dance around.
she used to be so so jumpy.
then i left her on her own.
i miss her. truly.
20080425
5, 6, 7, 8 and 1, 2, 3, 4.
a busy year ahead.
things were moving slowly in january.
started dance training for danceworks in feb.
march, danceworks.
now, i'm gearing up for cheerleading.
then comes korea trip.
then mock united nations conference at nus.
(a holiday in bangkok.)
preparation for midyear. (i'd better make full use of the extra time.)
mid year.
mother tongue oral.
mother tongue listening comprehension. (methinks?)
Becci (her name is Rebecca Hadler) from Germany is coming over in July-August for a month.
promos.
H1 Mathematics A-levels.
Mother Tongue A-levels.
Germany.
2009 and 3rd year in MI, if GodisWilling.
right now, i have to complete my PI,
econs DRQ (i don't think i'm doing this),
international history project,
alicia ng's lit thingy
& research for mock united nations thing.
(Yes! i'm in security council :D and i'm representing USSR)
i miss my boyfriend &i'm glad he understands this shit.
some random friend wants to sell his complete deck to me for 50!
(i forgot his name youknowyouknow.)
yes no yes no.
confirmation will be on monday.
can't fucking wait.
i will peform the ollie first, yay yay.
boyfriend, eat my dust.
(happy 2nd anniversary cissylove! )
& i want this:
ok. end.
tchsuss. (german for "bye". -informal)
ANNA LOVES THE ONE WHO LOVES TO HATE.
(his name is qamarul asyraf bin hosri bin rushdi)
things were moving slowly in january.
started dance training for danceworks in feb.
march, danceworks.
now, i'm gearing up for cheerleading.
then comes korea trip.
then mock united nations conference at nus.
(a holiday in bangkok.)
preparation for midyear. (i'd better make full use of the extra time.)
mid year.
mother tongue oral.
mother tongue listening comprehension. (methinks?)
Becci (her name is Rebecca Hadler) from Germany is coming over in July-August for a month.
promos.
H1 Mathematics A-levels.
Mother Tongue A-levels.
Germany.
2009 and 3rd year in MI, if GodisWilling.
right now, i have to complete my PI,
econs DRQ (i don't think i'm doing this),
international history project,
alicia ng's lit thingy
& research for mock united nations thing.
(Yes! i'm in security council :D and i'm representing USSR)
i miss my boyfriend &i'm glad he understands this shit.
some random friend wants to sell his complete deck to me for 50!
(i forgot his name youknowyouknow.)
yes no yes no.
confirmation will be on monday.
can't fucking wait.
i will peform the ollie first, yay yay.
boyfriend, eat my dust.
(happy 2nd anniversary cissylove! )
& i want this:
ok. end.
tchsuss. (german for "bye". -informal)
ANNA LOVES THE ONE WHO LOVES TO HATE.
(his name is qamarul asyraf bin hosri bin rushdi)
20080424
splendour ponder
An excerpt from a soldier's diary. date unknown.
"There are some things I don’t understand.. We lost another soldier today. He questioned our Shepard’s orders, and was executed as a traitor. The Shepard just pulled out his pistol and shot him right there. I know he was a traitor and all, but I wonder why they don’t just arrest them or something. And we burned another town along the way. Shepard and some scouts went to see if we could get some food and boarding for our soldiers. Next we knew there were gunshots and the Shepard came back alone, telling us the dark had taken the town. We burnt it to the ground, killed all the heretics in the town. I saw one of them up close, before I shot him. He didn’t seem evil. He was scared, and he was yelling about our betraying them. Which is ridiculous, if the Shepard said the town was dark, it was damn well dark. Something about it though, it just felt wrong..."
note ends in a scribble, faded stains blotching the paper where it lay, forgotten in a corner of a ruined building.
Right now you may be yawning, lying on your bed, eyelids getting heavy.
somewhere else, people are moaning, their souls lying on that thin sheet that separates life and death, heaven and earth. their eyelids getting heavy.
Right now you may be jogging, keeping that heart as healthy as you want to, running at your own pace, your own time.
somewhere else, people are running, keeping sure that the path infront of them arent blocked and making sure that the path behind them are. they run for their lives. gravity distorted, heart neglected, time forgotten.
Right now you may be safe from danger. your life is assured for many years.
somewhere else, danger finds you. you live for the seconds, the minutes, the hours. you forget what time is.
"we are ourselves when we love.. Love, for love is eternity."
-Qamarul Asyraf
"There are some things I don’t understand.. We lost another soldier today. He questioned our Shepard’s orders, and was executed as a traitor. The Shepard just pulled out his pistol and shot him right there. I know he was a traitor and all, but I wonder why they don’t just arrest them or something. And we burned another town along the way. Shepard and some scouts went to see if we could get some food and boarding for our soldiers. Next we knew there were gunshots and the Shepard came back alone, telling us the dark had taken the town. We burnt it to the ground, killed all the heretics in the town. I saw one of them up close, before I shot him. He didn’t seem evil. He was scared, and he was yelling about our betraying them. Which is ridiculous, if the Shepard said the town was dark, it was damn well dark. Something about it though, it just felt wrong..."
note ends in a scribble, faded stains blotching the paper where it lay, forgotten in a corner of a ruined building.
Right now you may be yawning, lying on your bed, eyelids getting heavy.
somewhere else, people are moaning, their souls lying on that thin sheet that separates life and death, heaven and earth. their eyelids getting heavy.
Right now you may be jogging, keeping that heart as healthy as you want to, running at your own pace, your own time.
somewhere else, people are running, keeping sure that the path infront of them arent blocked and making sure that the path behind them are. they run for their lives. gravity distorted, heart neglected, time forgotten.
Right now you may be safe from danger. your life is assured for many years.
somewhere else, danger finds you. you live for the seconds, the minutes, the hours. you forget what time is.
"we are ourselves when we love.. Love, for love is eternity."
-Qamarul Asyraf
20080421
darkness hatred despair
too bad not many people read my blog.
i just wanna say i hate alot of people.
if any of you humans think i hate you,
then you're probably right.
i live for blood and love.
i just wanna say i hate alot of people.
if any of you humans think i hate you,
then you're probably right.
i live for blood and love.
i am bored
and in this prose, i would like to make it proper and formal and hence the blatant caps at the start of every bloody sentence. ANNOYING.
here goes..
Every woman seeks a hero; a knight in shining armor to sweep them off their feet when they're in distress and carry them away to commit acts of sickeningly sweet romance found only in the backs of Fable-approved romantic novels. I have found this to be a universal truth hidden deep within the heart of every heterosexual female regardless of the number of times they deny it or the ounces of pepper spray they use on you (though i never really got sprayed, i know it hurts).
The only problem with the heroic approach is that many of us guys don't believe we actually have the ability to defeat any foe that doesn't appear on a video game screen. We can barely sweep all the cheese residue off our sofas, let alone a woman off her feet.
But fear not, because God did not forget you. He has bestowed upon each of us a special gift that can win us the admiration and, dare I say, love of any female we serve with it.
Yes, men: we can open jars.
No matter how weak and scrawny you may be, you have a mystical touch that loosens just about any lid that dare not budge for the fairer sex. I know because I have lost arm wrestling matches to my girlfriend before only to best her when it comes to a stubborn jam jar. It truly is a blessing.
“But ladies aren't going to become consumed with passion on account of you opening up the olives!” you might be saying, substituting “olives” with your food of choice, if necessary. Ah, but they can. It all depends on the context, my friends. Milk the valor of your gift as much as possible and it can indeed seem legendary, like so:
A great sadness had fallen upon the land. The dark sorcerer Hermetica had cursed the people's food supply, sealing it away under curses of metal and glass.
“It is impossible!” a maiden cried, having struggled in vain with one cursed vessel. “Our food is inaccessible. We shall surely starve!”
She looked about for a good place to swoon, but before doing so her eye caught a glimpse of a figure approaching from the fogs of bleakness and despair. Could it be? Was the knight savior of the people now standing before her?
“It is I,” the knight said. “Hang Kain Terlipat, Liberator of Pickles!”
The maiden's heart leapt with joy. “It is there!” she said, pointing toward the cursed vessel.
“By my duty, milady,” the knight said, and engaged the vessel in hand-to-hand combat. After a grueling struggle of several seconds, a mighty pop resounded throughout the land.
“When the safety button pops up, you know the curse is broken,” the knight said, handing the disarmed vessel back to its owner.
“My hero!” the maiden beamed. “How can I ever repay you?”
“It is my honor, fair maiden,” the knight replied. “I require no atonement.”
“Well I have been reading up on my novels...” she said.
“Maybe a little atonement, then,” the knight smiled, lifting the maiden into his arms and starting for the setting sun. Several steps later, the knight set the maiden down.
“You know, maybe I'll just pull the horse and you ride it yeah."
we are all heroes to our fair ladies.
i am to thee and thy beauty is to me.
-Hang Kain Terselit
here goes..
Every woman seeks a hero; a knight in shining armor to sweep them off their feet when they're in distress and carry them away to commit acts of sickeningly sweet romance found only in the backs of Fable-approved romantic novels. I have found this to be a universal truth hidden deep within the heart of every heterosexual female regardless of the number of times they deny it or the ounces of pepper spray they use on you (though i never really got sprayed, i know it hurts).
The only problem with the heroic approach is that many of us guys don't believe we actually have the ability to defeat any foe that doesn't appear on a video game screen. We can barely sweep all the cheese residue off our sofas, let alone a woman off her feet.
But fear not, because God did not forget you. He has bestowed upon each of us a special gift that can win us the admiration and, dare I say, love of any female we serve with it.
Yes, men: we can open jars.
No matter how weak and scrawny you may be, you have a mystical touch that loosens just about any lid that dare not budge for the fairer sex. I know because I have lost arm wrestling matches to my girlfriend before only to best her when it comes to a stubborn jam jar. It truly is a blessing.
“But ladies aren't going to become consumed with passion on account of you opening up the olives!” you might be saying, substituting “olives” with your food of choice, if necessary. Ah, but they can. It all depends on the context, my friends. Milk the valor of your gift as much as possible and it can indeed seem legendary, like so:
A great sadness had fallen upon the land. The dark sorcerer Hermetica had cursed the people's food supply, sealing it away under curses of metal and glass.
“It is impossible!” a maiden cried, having struggled in vain with one cursed vessel. “Our food is inaccessible. We shall surely starve!”
She looked about for a good place to swoon, but before doing so her eye caught a glimpse of a figure approaching from the fogs of bleakness and despair. Could it be? Was the knight savior of the people now standing before her?
“It is I,” the knight said. “Hang Kain Terlipat, Liberator of Pickles!”
The maiden's heart leapt with joy. “It is there!” she said, pointing toward the cursed vessel.
“By my duty, milady,” the knight said, and engaged the vessel in hand-to-hand combat. After a grueling struggle of several seconds, a mighty pop resounded throughout the land.
“When the safety button pops up, you know the curse is broken,” the knight said, handing the disarmed vessel back to its owner.
“My hero!” the maiden beamed. “How can I ever repay you?”
“It is my honor, fair maiden,” the knight replied. “I require no atonement.”
“Well I have been reading up on my novels...” she said.
“Maybe a little atonement, then,” the knight smiled, lifting the maiden into his arms and starting for the setting sun. Several steps later, the knight set the maiden down.
“You know, maybe I'll just pull the horse and you ride it yeah."
we are all heroes to our fair ladies.
i am to thee and thy beauty is to me.
-Hang Kain Terselit
20080418
had cheer prac just now.
it made me miss my old squad.
i like this new squad fair enough cus cissy is in charge!
(she's in the mids)
i am proud of her for getting this position.
she reminds me of mavis.
also, my 07arts1 mates are in! (and everyone (!) in my PW grp; cissy, aishah, sx)
i had my sssc jacket on today cus it was raining.
that made me miss my team mates.
trainings and suicide drills and punishments for untied shoelaces even.
(i still owe 700+ pushups, since feb-march 2006)
i will be meeting them (captain C &captain N) after the Pride &Prejudice play on the 26th!
FAFE
PROM NIGHT, 24th November 2006
(Fadhli is the extra one, Adam's missing- he's in Philippines studying at an American Flying School. he's going to be a pilot.)
FAFE:
Abraham
Adam
Amir -EmceeLyricalAssaultWeapon (LAW)
Cheryl
CY
Dyan (they like to call me that)
Fabian
Joanne
John
Ryan
Sarah
Vinder
(&nel + anthony = coolshizz)
&to boy,
who lent me his support during cheer.
who lent me his support during cheer.
thankyou.
now i have a problem.
i havent done my final draft for PI.
grrrrrrr.
i have not taken my shower and boyf is coming online.
WHAT ONLY LA BOY.
love &a little kick on the head,
anna.
[playing : oscura sinfonia]
20080417
she makes me proud
i have the best.
and she is the best.
we are proud of you.
(me, rayan, rafie, razique)
imissmygirlfriend.
and she is the best.
we are proud of you.
(me, rayan, rafie, razique)
imissmygirlfriend.
20080416
a mate asked me today, "Is Thursday a Ghost Night for the Muslims?"
getting selected for germany is a surprise.
[you will never guess the song playing on my lappy now. church- by GodKnowsWho;
it's for cheer methinks.]
RONNIE SAID:
a certain girl/
she took my hand
&ran it up her thigh.
she licked her lips/
&pulled my hair,
i fell in love for a night.
forget about ronnie.
i can't wait to hear my urethane composites
mesh with tiny (rolling) stones;
both grinding with concrete.
i will perform successful ollies and nollies and shuvits first (:
eat my dust, boyfriend.
XOXO.
anna
366 days, today.
[you will never guess the song playing on my lappy now. church- by GodKnowsWho;
it's for cheer methinks.]
RONNIE SAID:
a certain girl/
she took my hand
&ran it up her thigh.
she licked her lips/
&pulled my hair,
i fell in love for a night.
forget about ronnie.
i can't wait to hear my urethane composites
mesh with tiny (rolling) stones;
both grinding with concrete.
i will perform successful ollies and nollies and shuvits first (:
eat my dust, boyfriend.
XOXO.
anna
366 days, today.
20080414
im tired
but i'm not sleeping
cus there's so much noise and binge-drinking
i'm tired
but i'm not sleeping
as we chain smoke cigarettes without thinking
gotta love it, it's so so infectious.
screw econs, seriously.
i dont really care what MAS is about &the sentence trails...
rugby tomorrow &a little celebration.
i can hardly wait.
a little note i found out;
You can be sure that hell certainly has no fury like that of a Scorpio woman who's lost her normal steady control over those inward, seething, Pluto emotions.
&also,
A Scorpio woman will be incredibly loyal to those she finds strong and deserving, but the weak ones will never be honored by her glance.
-research and analysis done by rusteve the half brit.
xoxo xoxo xoxo.
anna
psyfool's (semi-new) full deck for a hundred. YES. i will think about it.
but i'm not sleeping
cus there's so much noise and binge-drinking
i'm tired
but i'm not sleeping
as we chain smoke cigarettes without thinking
gotta love it, it's so so infectious.
screw econs, seriously.
i dont really care what MAS is about &the sentence trails...
rugby tomorrow &a little celebration.
i can hardly wait.
a little note i found out;
You can be sure that hell certainly has no fury like that of a Scorpio woman who's lost her normal steady control over those inward, seething, Pluto emotions.
&also,
A Scorpio woman will be incredibly loyal to those she finds strong and deserving, but the weak ones will never be honored by her glance.
-research and analysis done by rusteve the half brit.
xoxo xoxo xoxo.
anna
psyfool's (semi-new) full deck for a hundred. YES. i will think about it.
20080413
OORRE KAAREN = that human-girl who sat infront of me
i weave the sucking trocar, beneath your bruising skin
(& another smile to add to our sick fantasies)
rival &a photo, blood removed.
through the eyes of the dead &a scene joke.
virally yours.
{edit} a little magic stick.
i am currently negotiating with ryry for his deck.
but he is going to sell me his deck which is without trucks!
only board, wheels and bearings.
i shall seek for better offers.
hopefully kamal, khalid and psyfool respond.
tried abraham {x}
amir {x}
nel and i are outcasts of the girl clan in agama.
why should we be part of the oorre kaarens? (it means low caste-dont-know-whats in tamil according to nel my belle.)
heehee!
five of them are jc students and they are really melayu about it.
they try as much as possible to bring in their jc analytical skills to use during discussions!
(to show off, duh. HELL-O! you guys are in like what? YJC? or some shit JC? nel is in SAJC? /i like to brag about nel/ SO EAT DOG FOOD :DDD )
anyway, it was hilarious!!
we kept giggling in class.
i nearly became hysterical.
(their grammar = horrible, ive read some of their blogs)
oh, oh! they talk about different graphic calculator models!
oorre kaarens.
i find that really funny.
some of the boys did something mean and i really feel sorry for one of the girls.
agama is damn fun (& funny).
i have boyfriend, nel and my brother all in the same class!
AND I NEEDNEEDNEEDNEEDNEED A DECK.
a full one.
not 3/4 right ryry (ryan) jfarzadeh! ( i forgot how to spell your surname dude!)
ryan is the guy sitting down.
imissboyfriend.
and i think nel is the best girlf i have.
she makes me laugh so hard.
and the best boyfriend of course.
XOXO
20080408
barghhhh bushkktimsakkhhhtishh tu'
i reread some of my (not gf's, shes gonna be mad if i laugh at her when she's angry) angry posts. i imagine myself to be like some dude in short shorts screaming, "eh fuck you fuck you fuck you!", in that helium voice.
*monster laugh
*megamonster laugh
MONSTER KILL
MEGA KILL
GODLIKKEEEEE
spaZ! -_-"
ok then. thats just what i noticed. school will be starting soon. wah like confirm already. i havent even taken the test.
fuck i wanna skate. not because its KeWlllxzzz.
because its FUCKING KeWlllxzzz..
no la, there are countless benefits. thats why. i guess.
never too old, never too young.
start today!
spaZ!
grrrrr, i miss that cheeky girl.
thx for the hat, cake, bed (hee!), album and whats-more-to-come shizzz.
iloveyou.
-helium-ish angry person
*monster laugh
*megamonster laugh
MONSTER KILL
MEGA KILL
GODLIKKEEEEE
spaZ! -_-"
ok then. thats just what i noticed. school will be starting soon. wah like confirm already. i havent even taken the test.
fuck i wanna skate. not because its KeWlllxzzz.
because its FUCKING KeWlllxzzz..
no la, there are countless benefits. thats why. i guess.
never too old, never too young.
start today!
spaZ!
grrrrr, i miss that cheeky girl.
thx for the hat, cake, bed (hee!), album and whats-more-to-come shizzz.
iloveyou.
-helium-ish angry person
20080406
20080404
20080402
for when you are Dove, let me be wind.
ive been looking back at my past years. all 17years of it.
i'd love to see how i was like when i was 2. the purity of that smile. the face without worry. the life where all you can do is laugh and cry. to know nothing about the world. to hold no responsibility for anything. i wish then, i could take a gun and kill the people i now know to be assfucks.
then here i am now. facing life's wrath.
but im not alone.
i was never.
im glad i found you.
thank you God.
and when i am soil, be my flower.
i'd love to see how i was like when i was 2. the purity of that smile. the face without worry. the life where all you can do is laugh and cry. to know nothing about the world. to hold no responsibility for anything. i wish then, i could take a gun and kill the people i now know to be assfucks.
then here i am now. facing life's wrath.
but im not alone.
i was never.
im glad i found you.
thank you God.
and when i am soil, be my flower.
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