in my head : honey and the moon - joseph arthur

it's been a long time since i've actually written a decent post . way back when things were supremely more/less complicated ( i can't quite decide ) , i'd spend hours in front of the mac throwing out post after post . these days it seems i can't even organise my thoughts in a way that would make sense to me .

in retrospect , the decision to leave singapore for two years was one that was made way too abruptly . i will admit i'm more likely to run away from things that ( a ) i don't have the answers to or ( b ) i do have the answers to but i just don't like the answer . amidst the heartbreak and the abuse , it was time for me to go ; now all i can do is wait anxiously for 2009 - it really can't come soon enough .

i have to admit that the arguments that i've had in the past 4 days trump everything i've ever experienced ( not even the huge net-a-porter sale can save me ) . it's a constant struggle every day to justify why i'm with the people that i'm with . i could list a million reasons why these individuals are toxic and i should just do a full-on detox ( aside : if you haven't heard oprah is going vegan for 21 days as part of a detox plan ) . the truth of the matter is he saw right through me in the beginning - i am an idealist . i cling on to the hope that maybe someday he'll figure out that he doesn't always have to be right or perfect with me and i'll love him just as much , maybe more . i grasp feebly to the belief that maybe someday she'll realise that friendship is worth so much more than just 'what i want/me/what it could be' .

when i was younger , i never quite bought into the whole notion of bestfriends , or even friends for that matter. there was family and there were people who wanted a piece of you or wanted to hang out with you until someone better , more special , more novel came along . i've lost sight of that for a long time . i sold out . everyone is/was a friend/bestfriend . i have to be brutally honest now ; for myself , for sanity's sake .

if you're blessed ( or pray hard enough ) , you'll run into fiz somewhere in your life . this is one guy who will literally drop everything just to be by your side . he asks for nothing , except what you're willing to give . he puts you ahead of himself and doesn't even expect you to do the same . he's never missed my call and is the only one who bothers to make international calls " just to find out how i am " . he's talented at what he does , an amazing son , a thoughtful brother and most of all , the best friend anyone could possibly have . if i were you , i'd be on my knees , palms clasped in prayer and asking the man above to grant the opportunity to have him in my life .

how we ended up as friends is dumbfounding . the first time we met was during orientation and let me tell you now , shane was one grumpy mother fucker . of course he's told me time again he was up watching soccer the night before and my overly effervescent attitude was pretty damm annoying ( i do admit that i was a tad over exuberant ) . i don't quite remember how or why but shane's always held the shovel when it came time to scrape me off the floor . he's listened to me rant and rave drunk/sober , crying/screaming all over the world . he's made me laugh and cry with the most ridiculous anecdotes and one-liners ; an amazing son , a thoughtful brother and most of all , the best friend anyone could possibly have . if i were you , i'd scramble to find him on facebook and concoct a story to introduce myself . ladies , he responds to nudity too.

while i know these two like to think they're worlds apart , they're actually more alike than they care to recognise . i've never been prouder to call hafiz and shane my best friends .

i'm not going to apologise for not mentioning you in this post . if you're not on , you probably don't deserve to be . you don't call , you talk to me only when time permits or i have something you want . grow up honey , it isn't always about you and what you want , when you want it . if he /they/it means much more to you than what this is , it's about time i grew up too .




xoxoxo ,
soho

in my head : heart of the matter - india arie




" i believe we can be extraordinary together rather than ordinary apart . "

i love you sometimes doesn't quite carry the same message as nervous blabbering . leave it to the script writers at grey's to express exactly how i feel .


xoxoxoxo ,
soho dreaming about candle-lit house plans .

today hearts were laid bare ;
tonight the whisky will warm my cold heart ;
tomorrow will be the start of another day , another heartbreak .

xoxoxo ,
soho : heartbroken , alone + 4000 km away from home .

cry yourself to sleep child ;
tonight
nobody loves you and nobody cares ;
silver , red and cream is all you have left .

xoxoxo ,
soho bathing in silver , red + cream .

in my head : april 2008 - rawjak

i've always been clear about how i felt about sneakers - they do nothing for your legs ; so why bother ? i might as well wear a spandex neon dress two sizes too small and crocs . this one . . this one . . this one will make me rethink everything i felt about sneakers .


excuse me while i fall to my knees in reverence and awe .


the sneaker that won my heart .


they are utterly sumptuous . i want to sleep / eat / fuck / dance / piss / shower in them .

i don't recall ever spending this much time in the library . well , maybe in np ; but we all know that it was the lure of fat-laden hot dogs and diabetes-inducing bubble tea that made us want to spend hours on end slumped in the corner on the rank-smelling carpet .


the stage is set .


the actors make their red carpet appearance .




my virgin lanvin purchase isn't even for me ! but i dare say , he's worth it . :] happy anniversary / birthday love !


xoxoxoxo ,
soho + lanvin = match made in temporary shoe haven .

in my head : the heart of the matter - india arie

it's been a rough weekend and the boyfriend is missing . stare out the window while these things are on your mind . . like ckparis says , " let's meet on the astral plane " . .


chocolate chip bran muffins


wings + feathers ; let's fly away , shall we ?


long gone are the drawn out summers in the sweltering heat .



i apologise for the lack of updates . in between organising the upcoming move and mountain of assignments , i've only got time to read updates not write them . this holiday should will be a blast . it has to be .



xoxoxoxo ,
soho wishing she was in the sun .

i held you in my arms as the tears snaked down your face .
i thought we were clear on what this meant to me .
obviously i thought you valued this more than that .

i can't say that i feel for you anymore
because
you really don't know what it felt feels like to be me .

" i've never been the praying kind ; but lately i've been down on my knees "

xoxoxo ,
soho axed .
ps : everyone tells me that it'll get better and things will change . it hasn't and now i'm starting to think that i shouldn't have listened to them . after all , a leopard never really changes its spots does it ?

i miss you ;

you were always there for me

now it's weird to even be in the same room .




xoxoxoxo ,
soho wishes she were just trippin'

in my head : forever lost - the magic numbers

i have no idea where my weekend went but it's gone and i've got way to much shit to squeeze into the next couple of days . -_- . on a happier note , dopez has finished his exams and ADRI IS 21 TODAY !!!! WHOOOOT WHOOOT WHOOOOT . please go wish her a happy birthday . :] ps : don't even bother buying her a present because it sure as hell CAN'T BEAT OURS !

.: elsternwick for the cactus jam sale :.


the sale turned out to be shit but i found my awesome famous japanese grocer !


we stocked up on all things . .


japanese !


on the menu

.: mid-week drama :.


if you haven't heard about the moths , let me tell you about sam's cupboard . it collapsed . haha

.: the weekend :.


leggings : mango
dress : american apparel
tee : american apparel
hoodie : undefeated


while it rained miserably i was in mag nation waiting patiently while sam attempted to dash from flinders st station to meet me .


ooh wii .


dion offered not only his gorgeous pad with the wii but his mixing services as well . unfortunately i can't remember the names of them but i promise they is be good . :]


pom pom


then rehan didn't want to take a picture with us .


funniest ever . remember the comedy festival picture where there were four huge guys squeezed uncomfortably in four fold-able chairs ? this is the pint-sized version , except neither of them are really pint-sized . paul had to eat with one hand cause rehan didn't want to scoot over . hahahhaha


the giant explosion outside our house where the they hit a gas pipe .


we were feeling a bit inspired by our outfits .


happy birthday bitch . :]





xoxoxoxo,
soho in the iron suit !