OMG

OMG!! I am soooo gonna kill myself.

Okay. Claire's dead. seriously.

How could I make such mistake in the freaking finals??!! NOOO!! haha, dramatic betul.

seriously wei, after the business exam, talked to bill and he was like, we are all making stupid mistakes. and when he listed down the few that others had made, well, I made them too. it seriously made me wanna go bang my head against the wall when he say it. OMG!! *mortification*

Me. who had studied before Business admin with him, scored an A- before this making stupid mistakes. *bangs head against wall. oh wait, still alive ar? okay la, then nvm* Arghh!!

Okay, I am gonna follow Mae's advice to let loose a little. According to her, I am getting crazy over 'A' and in a way, I think she's right. If not I won't be agonizing myself over this. So... I am gonna take her advice and forget about it.

Now. Kapoosh! Gone. Out of my head!

Claire's new goal: to party for the 6 weeks!! yay!

that's better... :D

on the side note, Finals finally ended! yay! 6 weeks of hols. I am gonna let my brain turn into oatmeal in the 6 weeks just by sleeping, eating, going out and online. Ah! what a nice idea.

yesterday, I handled being alone a little better by switching on the TV and tuning to the radio. BUT!

yes, there's a big fat but.

BUT! there's a freaking lizard in the freaking kitchen sink that had freaking freak me out! it was just there, not moving at all.

I am such a coward. I tried splashing water on it so that it will run away, but in the end, guess who ran away. ME! I ran away 5 freaking times cos in the end I was so afraid of it running towards me that I just froze when I want to splash it. :(

AND! yes, there's a big fat and too...

AND! the freaking lizard that had freaking freaked me out yesterday is still in the freaking sink on the freaking same spot. Freaky! okay... so many version of freak I have in that sentence - freak, freaky, freaking, freaked... blah blah blah blah.

Yes. that freaking lizard is still at the same spot. Am sooo not going to disturb it (although it disturbs me a lot) unless someone volunteers to do it for me? If not I am gonna wait for my parents to come back tomorrow and do the "shoo-ing" and have them laugh at me. Hmmm, so any volunteers?

so, today is freedom day, so am going to sing K with Mae and SS. the others still have finals :PPPPP I am done!! *rubs fact in face* haha... but I suffered yesterday with 2 papers, trying to cram 3 subject into my poor brain which caused it to pound against my head and created a massive headache along the way.

hmm... today's post sounded kinda bubbly. Am I high on something? nah! can't be. ate nothing in the morning. Must be due to the lack of sleep and today my brain choose to be hyper while my eyes threatens to close on me. Am gonna get some shut eye at SS's place.

Oh yeah, did i mention that I am writing this post in Wisma HELP lvl 9 com lab? Currently waiting for SS to come back from the clinic with her mom so I can borrow her bed and crash. sleep has never sounded any better.

Overall, life's great so far (minus the mistakes - poof! out of my mind again - and the stupid freaking lizard). parents are gonna be home tomorrow nite, I think. I think la, it's tomorrow. and I get to see what they got me from Bali! I wanted to go Bali as well :( Stupid finals. *curse curse swear swear*

so yeah, finals over, "A"s are out of my mind - at least for the next 6 weeks (hopefully that they don't come back to haunt me), stupid lizard STILL in the sink (Oh God! what if it's dead and I don't dare to pick it up. Hey! there's a gecko pic in the business book and I squirm and had to cover the pic everytime I read that page k? so what made u guys think that I will actually touch one, albeit it's dead?) and I am gonna turn my brain into mush! yeah! life's great alright :D

Signing out,
Wen

It has wings!

Bah!! I can see my 'A' in Business Admin flying away.
NO!! come back!!

just got my overall results for Business admin. Got like 46/60. So, that means my A is gone. Unfortunately. I was sort of hoping for an A- but now even that's gone! Damn! I wanted back my old grades~ the one where I had a freaking A- for business but now, I suppose the best I can get is a B. there goes my motivation to study as well.

On the side note, just finished 1 paper this morning. Have another in 4 hours, and I am sooo not prepared for it. then Business admin at 8 tomorrow morning. :(

Still not coping very well being alone. yesterday, I could barely sleep thanks to all the weird noises outside the house. :( Sleepy~~

No! must study!~

signing out,
Wen

anxiety?

Anxiety attack.

Not a very nice thing to have.

this has to be one of the rare times that I actually experience an anxiety attack when I study for finals. Yeah, usually I might whine a little about finals but the feeling of fear is not so strong. i can't even unwind long enough to actually eat my dinner!! sheesh!

this time, even though I am only 10% away from passing, I still feel as if I will fail. The feeling is so strong that i actually read the text book twice, do the online MCQs provided by the publisher of the text book and the feeling is still there! Gah!!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!

OMG Claire! calm down!!

*breathe in, breathe out* *breathe in, breathe out*

You are not going to fail. you are not going to fail. you are not going to fail.

okay, what you are going to do now is go take a shower, finish reading MCH 123 then read MC 100. you are going to be fine. before you know it, finals will be over.

gah!! I hate this feeling. it better go away soon.

on the side note, maybe this anxiety thing came from the fact that I will be alone again. yeah, I don't handle being alone well. seriously...

signing out,
wen