baby, i'm missing you so badly now

Meet my new little prince, Aymann Aris♥

This is by far the most precious photo I've ever taken♥

that boy up there is the sole reason why i even bother coming home everyday

oh what would i do if i didn't have this small little boy =/

ah, fuck it i tell you

underappreciated is what i feel now

but, well what's there to appreciate anyways, i'll always be a bitch in your eyes.

to think i was actually beginning to trust you

fuck you lahhh, i told you only because i thought you should

bitch, i can't stand this anymore, how fake can you get?

i guess it's when you genuinely want to help someone that they misjudge you

assumptions; they can be the most deadly, i swear

looking through old photos made me miss how things were, how circumstances were totally different

"...nobody said it was easy
noone ever said it would be so hard
i'm going back to the start..."

i still rmbr how i cried on open house when i was sitting with deborah and amirah during ed's performance. it was really apt and sitting with those two in vj, after all that we've been through. gosh, i hate everyone/everything that made me drift from the two of them.

idk what my life would be like without you(:

i miss that pantat like crazy. how is it possible that i've not seen my bestfriend since the day of the release of your o level results? baby girl, i miss you so much. i really thank god that i've got you. well, what spurred me to post this was a song i've been listening to alot, which is lean on me the glee version. so i'd just like to let you know, that no matter what happens, no matter how far our schools will be, no matter how busy i get, you're always in my heart and mind. that i'm always here if you need a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear to complain to. i love you my love, 7 years and counting, that's one amazing feat don't you think? call me soon dearest (:

VJSG 0910;

this photo here show how we've proven so many people wrong, even ourselves because we didn't even dream of retaining the interclub trophy again this year, yet we did.

now, we've got to prove once again that VJSG0910 is capable of so much more. BELIEVE; EXCELLENCE ! it's our time, our time to shine, our history to create, our legacy to leave behind. although this signifies the end of my journey, i'm glad to have been a part of this whole experience. it's more than i could ever bargain for. i love each and everyone of you with all my heart.

life's been pretty rubbish, school sucks, season's coming and i'm still torn (say awwwww). anyways, i only have managed to keep to my "i'm gonna be hardworking this year" pact for let's see, 3-4 days? ah, screw it lahh, i am so going to end up ruining my own life due to bad choices again ):

you, have been doing nothing that you promised me. why now i know the true meaning of actions speak louder than words, cause all you did was talk, and i so do not see the walking. i can't believe what i'm thinking sometimes. i can't seem to get you out of my head as hard as i try. and it's really pissing me off. i really hope at the least, you'll remain my friend, that i will always have till the end of time D:

school's tmr, essays and such are piling up due to the massive procrastination disorder that i

i seem to have. come on lah az, it's 2010, j2 already, you need to get your act together okay! if you don't want to this for yourself, at least do it for the team(only some will see the link in this).

ah, screw it man. i don't feel like blogging anymore.

BYE WORLD, may i survive this coming year D:

next phase in life; move on(: regret is something i am not going to let get into my head(:

(a love like no other)

see that girl up there? i miss her like crazy!! D: girlfriend hunny, we shall go out soon k? love, i'm so glad i managed to talk to you for abit today. looking forward to sunday, hopefully everything goes according to plan (: LOVE YOU SAYANG<3

taking a long break this weekend. no doubt, i'll miss you, but i think i just have to bear with it. a month's almost passed, and things are still the same. i am trying not to give up, but i kinda did. i want to turn back time. i miss you, friend D:

open house, jalan raya with sayang all :D, training training training. somewhere in the middle of all this commotion of training, soccer girls and guys organised some match to raise funds for typhoon parma victims[epic failure btw]. promos results, blahblahblah. my life is dreary and dull, i'm so sorry. i'm sure noone comes here any more, so whatevs!

deepavali weekend was spent with the family at jb. thanks for keeping me company though, made it less unbearable (: life's been basically all about pwsoccerschool. nothing else, as irritatingly annoying as that can be. i want a life! D: i can do this i can do this i can do this!

anywayssssssss, tmr is the last day of official lessons until after OP[screw itttt]. i was expecting tomorrow to be an amazingly happy day where i'd be high all through the day, but obviously things just don't happen the way you want it to. so now, it's just going to be a typical day where i'd be sian ttm.

okay, so promos are over, whatever right? it was over last friday. most, okay all papers were screwed, like i swear it'll be just nice to promote or slim chances ): anyways post promos was spent with debbie ((: looking for beachwear for that woman. she's damnnnnnnnn picky and indecisive, i swear HAHA. reached home close to 12 cause i smartly didn't bring my ezlink card that day, and had to take a super long bus ride home and a freaky walk home. attempted camping online all night long, but i crashed shortly after.

the weekends were open house then jb, for jalan raya there. omg, it was H-O-T! the perks of it all was spending the whole day with little adrianny, my adorable petite niece with the contagiously sweet smile and the prettiest eyes ever. she is such a gem, and i was obsessed with her the whole day. i didn't care that i didn't get duit raya cause people thought i was old cause i was taking care of all the little babies around. kids make me happy, and nothing will ever change that, i am very sure (:

hey all, a whole month of fasting is over, and so, today is HARI RAYA! as much as i'm excited about it, there are still some aspects of today that irk me. but it's okay, i'm all ready for the endless photos and all (: went for a manicure, and i feel feminine, for once, haha. just hope i wont get caught in school for it man. okay, anyways, back to the point. i would like to wish all my dear friends, a SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI. if i have wronged, offended or hurt any of you in any way, whether i meant it or not, please forgive me. have an awesome hari raya today, and let's all just enjoy the day without making contact with our academic endeavours okay ? (: SELAMAT HARI RAYA (:

[it's getting way too deep]

damnit, i have no discipline i tell you. irritating to the max. i realise now that it was just wishful thinking on my part, and there really was nothing there to begin with. i am secretly hoping i'd get a text from you now, although i know that'll never happen. i really want to try what was suggested by mr psychic, but i really fear that i won't know how to react and all. i think this will all take a toll on my studies, seriously. damnnnnn, i need to focus on whatever notes and readings instead of worrying abt this. i need to learn to channel my energy to the right things. and you, help me get over you, cause i miss you

[i am trying not to tell you, but i want to]

ah, i can't believe myself. i keep telling myself i will study, i will study. i will do this, i will do that. but do i? no i don't. fuck luhh. i am seriously sick and tired of convincing myself there's still hope. i'm sick and tired of hearing people tell me time is running out. do i look like i'm incapable of seeing that for myself. and you, omg can you open your eyes widewide open, listen hard. you don't notice what's right in front of you. you densedense person, sighh (omg rasyiqahh, you are right D:) i should be studying but (YET AGAIN) i'm on the computer. goddamnit this is annoying, why don't i have the discipline to study? why can't i just be like you, who doesnt require much effort. why do i keep believing that i'll be able to get by without much effort. wake up azrina, you ain't no genius. stop living in that damn fantasy world of yours.

FUCK

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i know the post is disjointed. but wtf, pms kills the mental organisation hahaha, almost non-existant one uh.

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