my coffee blog !

x Friday, July 31, 2009 x

sometimes goodbye is a second chance - Second Chance by shinedown

>> 4:58 PM;

x Tuesday, July 14, 2009 x

woke up rather late today, around 1.35pm... fingers arent hurting much anymore, but now i have a slight toothache ._. went for a run in the evening (and realised how unfit i am!). gotta train a bit before that 8 km run at the end of august if not i'll probably walk after 2km or so lol.

discussed a few modules to take next sem with a few friends, and one of them's birthday is today! (14th july) happy 20th birthday to her! am beginning to get worried about next sem, a fresh start, new chances for success or failure, hopefully it will be the former not the latter. :(

talked a bit about our relationship with dear, i guess when we started out we both knew that long-distance relationships were hard, so if we do end up breaking up it should not come as a surprise to either of us. just wonder though, what if we were in the same country? i guess it is all fated. she brought up something that i thought of a few times before, we can't celebrate special occasions together, we can't be there for each other when we need to. they say that long distance relationships require a lot of faith and trust, which i know i have in me and in her. what i dont have trust in is fate. i do wonder if we can last through these 3-4 years separated from each other.

i think i will most likely let nature take its course and be mentally prepared for anything that happens. if we do end up breaking up, thank you so much for all these times of being there for me and brightening up my life. (even when we weren't together yet) these memories will probably be with me for life no matter what, and hopefully you will be able to find a guy that can do what i cant.

my life story has been one big story of separation and loss of people close to me and people i know, so if it happens one more time i won't be as hurt as before. on this note i would like to remember one of the many people who left my life abruptly, weicheng.

weicheng was my primary school classmate for 6 years. we were also in the same volleyball team in junior college, and were in the same army camp. (though not same unit, i saw him frequently) in a few months it will have been 2 years since you drowned while representing singapore in a dragon boat competition. i still remember talking to you during the army half marathon that year. then november came, and i ORD-ed from the army. i went for a holiday in indonesia and when i came back i got informed that you died. at first i thought it was somebody else because the stupid newspaper printed the wrong picture of you. i'll always remember our soccer games in primary school with that green plastic ball, and all the times all of us laughed and argued over silly things. i know that you are in a better place now, entertaining the people around there just like you did with us all. you will always be remembered by us, gone but not forgotten.

>> 12:39 AM;

x Monday, July 13, 2009 x

feeling better now, not emo anymore!

my right hand 4th finger hurts, i not sure why, so today dear banned me from gaming! so i went to library and borrowed a book to read, seems quite interesting so far.

my finger is better but still hurts so i guess i better not type so much if not dear will kill me!

>> 2:16 AM;

x Saturday, July 11, 2009 x

hate this feeling of despair, this helplessness, this pain. never thought this part of me would come back again, this suicidal part of me that i thought had gone long ago. the wind outside is blowing strongly, looks like its going to rain. maybe this is a good time to go and run till i drop.

>> 1:25 AM;

x Monday, July 6, 2009 x

: Thoughts

Despite what happened recently, no matter what you will always be my dear, and I shall wait and look forward to the day when you finally come here and we can see each other everyday.

<3 forever.

>> 1:45 AM;

x Tuesday, June 30, 2009 x

: nothing much

Didn't do much today, played games for the entire day since there was nothing to do. At night I trained audi so that next time I can pei dear play! She's so much better than me at audi. Then just now dear told me she was not feeling well and went to bed quite early... >.< *am worried* hope she recovers soon, she seems to fall sick quite often de!

Labels: sick dear =(

>> 11:52 PM;

x Monday, June 29, 2009 x

: Back home

Just came home from Bukit Tinggi yesterday~ Was there for 3 days 2 nights, it was fun and really refreshing! Played paintball on the 2nd day and got hit by a paintball, it hurt a lot and there was swelling afterwards. Spent a lot of time playing cards thanks to the rain and laziness! And I vomitted after over eating at the buffet. ><

Rained a lot there, and it was quite cold, a good change from hot Singapore! Though it did rain a little in Singapore today. Was woken up this morning by the stupid drilling right outside my home, and they drilled the entire day and gave me a headache. I guess I will be sleeping soon, thanks to dear dear shoo-ing me to bed!

>> 11:25 PM;