I hope You find Her.

When you start working full time, you'll get to know new people. We will start to distant, working hard for our new lives at two different ends of Singapore. You'll meet a girl and realizes she have a far better character than me. She have a good personality and does not have bad temper like me. Someone whom can make your heart beat twice as fast as it already did. Someone whom lets you feel butterflies in your stomach. You will fall in love with her and will do your best to chase her, to win her heart. Finally, you won her heart. You both are happy and look so good together. This is when I will realize, no matter how much I did for you, to try and win your heart over, I am just not the one you are looking for. I've lost the game.

Silently, I will leave. It's gonna hurt and I will cry myself to sleep every single night, just thinking of how happy both of you are together. It has been something that I've yearn for, forever. To be able to do things together with you, to love you and to be loved by you. But reality is like this. Nothing ever goes your way. I will hurt, but as time goes pass, I will heal. Slowly, but surely. That is when I will start to learn how to love again.

It's still You.

A sudden gush of emotions and thoughts rushing through my mind this night.

Thinking back, all the things we've done together. The kisses, everything. I miss your tender and soft lips. How they taste like. Even though it's just a game, it felt so real. I miss kissing you. All the things we've been through. We were this close to being together as one. This close. Yet due to my mistake, now we're left off as 'just friends'. 

I know i have to stop loving you because you've already made yourself clear. And i know i can't stop you from loving someone else. I know i have to stop all these so that you could go on and find your own happiness. But i just can't do it. No matter how hard i've tried, it will still be you at the end of the day. 

Tell me, what should i do? You don't know how much i love you, yet you left me to fend off for myself. You don't know how torturing it is for me to look at someone i love so much yet i can only label him as a friend. It's so torturing.. I love you but i can't hold your hands. I can't taste your lips and i can't call you mine. 

I died a little, day by day.

Fear.

How do you let go of something you've held on for so long?

I used to believe that things will turn out better.
As long as I persevere, you'll get touched by me.
But the longer I held on for, the more tired I feel.

Who doesn't want to be treated good?
I may give people the impression that I'm tough, and strong like a man.
But deep inside I want to be treated like a princess too.
I want to be chased, feel significantly different and be spoilt by someone I love
But why is it that you don't understand this?

My pillow is stained with tears every night whenever we fight.
My thoughts are filled with; "what if you already found some one else to replace me?"
Nightmares every single day. I woke up breaking into cold sweat.
I still wake up occasionally to check my phone, waiting for your messages and feeling so happy

It's all these little things that could make me so contented.
It's when we fight. I hate those fights. Why can't we be happy just for a moment? Why must there be so many fights between us.

The worst thing is, you don't fight for me. You just give up again and again.
What am I to you? How much do I weight so much so that you could give up so easily?
I wished you could fight for me, for us.
Don't give up so easily.

I'm so afraid.
Afraid that I'll fall into the state where I might do stupid things
Please tell me everything's gonna be alright.
Please...........