just something i caught when i was watching gilmore girls.
season 6, episode 13:

LORELAI: Uh, he freaks out if he sees his leash. You have to make sure you hide it from him and make sure he doesn't see you putting it on him.

SOOKIE: How is he once he's on the leash?

LORELAI: Oh, he's totally fine having his personal freedom slowly stripped away, as long as he's completely unaware that it's happening. Just like a true American. He's all yours.

random thoughts

angry girl songs
first there was irreplacable by beyonce. when i first heard the title of the song, i thought it would be another love song about how someone was irreplacable, but after i heard it i was surprised. a nice tune, but the words.. come from a heart that's been hurt. and then a while back there was that song by the dixie chicks, not ready to make nice? and that new one by carrie underwood, before he cheats. then tonight i heard never again by kelly clarkson on american idol.

like i said about irreplacable, i think at the root of these songs is a broken heart that has grown hard. its a trend! angry and hurtful songs. but most of them have taken the next step and become angry and sometimes vengeful! these songs teach about unforgiveness! something that isnt very healthy.. first the media teaches about scandalism and sexuality, now unforgiveness. what next, celebrate suicide? abortion? yeah i dunno, maybe i'm a bit extreme, but a lot of what is out there just disgusts me sometimes.

shrek 3
hmm it felt really short? maybe because a lot of funny scenes i've already seen about a hundred times before on the promo commercials.

ipod
speaking of commercials, the new ipod commercials are hot! i like the consistency in their style and brand, but now with the artistic free-flowy splashes of colour.

event management and exhibit design
i think i've said the above phrase a bajillion times! everytime i tell people im in post-grad studies now, i have to give them the full name of the program. for a lot of people i've told them its going well, but really it's going a little slow. we're going over very basic, and i guess fundamental, elements of event management. which is understandable. and partially it might be because some people do not have a design background, which is strange, because it is a requirement on their program website? but anyway, the events are starting soon. today we were painting and making props for the upcoming griffin poetry awards at the fermenting cellar. some other upcoming events: titanic innovators ball at the science center, ascot day at the races at woodbine racetrack, bloor street entertains, design exchange's black and white fundraiser gala and more! should be fun =)

some good sites i'd like to share with you

Endangered Species Chocolate
ethically traded, shade-grown chocolate

Arrojo Studio
nick arrojo's site (hair stylist from what not to wear)
if i were in new york i would SO go to his studio to get my hair styled
he also has his own products in arrojoproducts.com

Etsy
a site similar to ebay, but for hand-made arts/crafts/design/misc items

C28
decently designed christian clothing

Volunteer Toronto
although i havent had a ton of time to volunteer in recent years, this is a good resource to start you off if you are looking to volunteer.

nice guys finish last?

today i went to sally's fundraiser for her trip to africa in the summer. good event with a good turnout, i liked what was put together all in all. i hope that God will bless her abundantly as she goes for three months in the summer (three months!)

so on to my own reflection.. Will bought me a number of raffle tickets that i used towards three items, two of which i won. well, i actually won three times. i first won this purse, and then there were two sets of laneige cosmetics stuff that i put tickets into, and my ticket got pulled out for both! didn't expect that.

so when my ticket was called the third time i told them to give it to someone else. i felt bad that i got all these prizes, so i wanted someone else to have it. especially since the laneige sets were similar. when they pulled the ticket again, the guy who ended up winning it had (like me) won twice already. he was originally going to give back something but the crowd told him to just keep it. i was ok with it at first, its his decision. my intention was that it would to go to someone else who hadn't won yet. but i guess that isn't my decision. it's not reeeally mine anyway.

(and if by any chance u are the guy who won, and ur reading this, just want u to know that i'm ok with your decision to keep it. this is not criticism but rather my own exploration of my feelings.)

its a bit of a far analogy, but i did think of the story of the man who was forgiven his large debt by the king. and then the guy doesnt forgive the servant who owed him a small debt. and the king got upset because he didn't learn anything. and i'm no king who forgave debt, but i guess i had some expectation of what would come out of my 'nice' act. and the guy did want to give something back, but the crowd told him to keep it, so under the whole peer pressure thing, he kept it. and it was kind of funny/cute that his gf and him were trying to give up their own items.

but i did feel a little uneasy about it. partly because Will was uneasy about it too and he wanted me to keep the third one maybe to give to his mom (which i didnt know of at the time, or i would have considered keeping it..oh well). anyway it also reminded me of the phrase about how nice guys always finish last. and after some more reflection about it, i came to the conclusion that the phrase only holds true if you are comparing yourself to others. at the end of the day, it was my decision to give it away and his decision to keep the gift set.

if you hold true to the fact that you were being nice just because, then you should be ok with whatever follows and should've be expecting anything. i say 'you' but i really mean this for myself. afterall the thing didnt really belong to me. and uneasy feelings only came because i expected something that i should've have.

sooo yeah the whole nice guys finish last thing, its only true if you look at it with a perspective that focuses on comparing yourself to those around you. if you don't think of life as some big rat race, then there is no finish line and you can be content with just being nice for the sake of being nice.

i think i put too much thought into something small. but i think i came to some kind of conclusion and i feel at ease with my decision. a part of me does wish that the gift set went to someone else who hadn't won something already, but it didn't and it's all done with already. and i'm okay with that. it's time for bed now, so ciaoooo.

book worm

currently reading some really good books. i try to read a chapter every few days, and the chapters vary depending on my mood. it's no one-book-a-week-book-club, but slowly i'm going through them, slowly but surely. Will thinks i'm nerdy because one of my favourite relaxing activities is to curl up in my bed and read. whether i'm a nerd or not, i do quite enjoy it.

courage and calling, gordon t. smith
i got this for $5 from urbana, and its been really useful in guiding/confirming to me what my vocation is. makes a complex topic easy to understand. also i hear he is derek's pastor in bc!

the power of a praying woman, stormie omartian
i received this from Wills parents a little while ago. each chapter touches upon a different subject with a very biblical point of view and guides you on how to pray about it. the premise of the book is that women often pray for others, but forget and neglect praying for themselves, so this gives a bit of direction on how to do that.

the life you've always wanted, john ortberg
a book that Will and i are reading together, every couple weeks we go through a chapter and discuss the questions in their study guide. the tagline says it all: spiritual principles for ordinary people. ortberg is a down-to-earth writer and always makes me laugh.

john 15, i am the true vine, john?
such an inspiring scripture for me lately.

inspired.. finally!

in the car today i heard a classic song that inspired me to make this new blog background:

where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom..
we will walk in your freedom, walk in your liberty..
we will dance in your freedom, dance in your liberty..

sometimes i wonder.. people dance at clubs, but they can't dance for our God, instead they stand stiff and mouth words about freedom and worship.. o.O and hey myself included sometimes. sometimes i also wonder if it is the chinese church that has fostered a sheltered and restricting way of worshipping God? but maybe it is just us falling short of the mark.. the song gave me the conviction to live and walk as if i was free.

anyway what i wanted to blog about is this:

Teens Conference! starts.. in a few hours.

i was at T3C today helping SMU with some set up here and there, we brought our basketball team there to help out as a team building day, and also to give back to afc. it was a really good day.

bumped into a number of people too, today and before, asking if i was helping out. the answer was always the same - nope! i'm not helping, too much school work to do. and in all honesty, i'm glad that i didn't commit to helping, because this week is killer for school. portfolio assessment is next week, and the grad show in april has a load of work too.

so back to tc.. it seems that i keep getting all these reminders of rec, reminding me of what i'm missing out on. at T3C, we ended up meeting in the room that Rec was given. and last week i had lunch with the rec team. and a few weeks before that they spammed me with their rec emails. and they had a discussion topic in their tc rec group to tell me to join. on top of the fact that everyone keeps asking me if im helping out *sigh*

its a bittersweet feeling inside. a part of me is glad that i'm not helping. because of my school work, and other people stepped up to the plate, which is great. but the other part of me is sad. sad that i'm not part of the fun, the hype. yes, i miss the hype. i get such a kick of out the rush of leading things at these events. but i also miss the team bonding. and i had such good times the last three years on rec. its like my baaaaby! also i accepted Christ at tc, so it's an event that i definitely have good memories from.

i feel old, reminescing about tc T-T

so i am a bit sad, not being able to help out. i think it's a growing up thing, having to let go of these things and moving on... the book courage and calling has reminded me that my vocation/calling at the current moment is to be a student, a graduating student at that. so that should be my priority, and i want to finish strong. so no tc this year, just work work work!

here's to a number of good years at tc =)

I'm a designer & I'm also a bit of a tease: www.usjustus.com

funny conversations

me: where is Scott Religious Centre? I'm planning on coming to CCF tonight.
Jesse: you don't know where SRC is? What kind of Christian are you?!

me: hey, have you seen karin?
kim: no, i think she left.
me: aw man, the one day i brought sam's markers from urbana.
edith: uuhh hi, i'm sam's sister.
me: ooooh yeaaahhh, haha.

- - -

yeahhh they were funny to me =)

buy my tshirt!

we are fundraising for our grad show in april, and there are tshirts on sale! one of my designs was chosen yaaay. click here for the catalog! shirts are $15 each! my shirt is design number 3, and there are a number of colours to choose from. orders are due Feb. 2!!!

post urbana experience..

okay so i've finally been able to digest my experience, one month later =)

urbana was such an unreal experience. i was with a lot of my friends, in this random city in the states, participating in five intense conference days and trying to hear what God's saying in the middle of it all. so many things coming at you, left right and center. so it's taken a little while to really absorb and make sense of it all.

the worship was really amazing. i loved that there were all these multicultural worship songs. even though you didn't know exactly the words you were saying, it was still a response to God. and that's because worship is not just about the words we speak, but the heart that we give up to Him. the last night on news yrs eve, it was the free'est i've ever felt in worship God. and it was a culmination of all the five days. definitely a spiritual high.

most of the seminars i went to were okay. i really had to think and dig for things that i could take from some of them. one seminar about developing your giftedness urged me to really look into what my gifts are, and how i can use them for God's kingdom in an intentional way. the last seminar on the artist transforming culture really spoke to me. it reminded me of the power of arts in ministry, as well i believe it planted a seed for something much bigger in the future for the area of christian arts. more on that later..

ephesians was such a rich text to learn from. i thoroughly enjoyed the bible study and Ajith who spoke about it. living a life worthy of the calling. wow. that's a big thing. now we are continuing to learn from the letter of ephesians in cd-team which is nice. it will definitely be a rich saturation of ephesians.

i bumped into sooo many people at urbana. it was like a christian gta retreat in st. louis! but i especially enjoyed the company of my fellow rhcbc family. a number of us got together to pray during the busyness of the conference. it was a good time to quiet down, share and pray. it was good to bring things out into the open that have been on our hearts. among the things we prayed about was unity for the church, and leadership for the youth. i also had an amazing time with our girls small group - vinci, patricia and karin.

one big encouragement for me was the financial side of getting to urbana. at first it was a big mystery how i was going to get to urbana with a cost of about $500 for the trip. but in the summer God gave me a position at afc. on its own that would have been more than enough, but it also allowed me to have a (very generous) staff discount to go to urbana, since afc had affiliations with intervarsity. perfect timing! also a number of other very generous individuals helped to make the trip possible. i literally got all the money i needed to go to urbana two days before i went! so it was quite the testimony to how God works. you really have to trust him, and he will provide. he may not provide in the time that we would like, but he does in the end because he is very faithful.

now what?

after some reflection on what i've learned and what God has been speaking to me through the whole experience, i've decided and have applied to Seneca for a post-graduate certificate program on Events Management and Exhibit Design. after thinking about how to live a life worthy of the calling, i looked further into what gifts God gave me. the book Courage And Calling, (the first book of the day) was a good one that got me started. i found that it was in the area of encouragement and leadership that God gifted me in. i decided to apply to the program to further develop the leadership side, in an area that i enjoy. plus i had this God moment when i first found the program, and i truly felt that it was something from Him.

as for the future, it's still open! i'm taking small steps in this direction and we'll see where God takes me from here.

brrr its cold

this is so cute! but its also really funny looking. poor doggy. haha. i dont think sassy would wear this. but she would definitely keep warm outside.