the road less travelled

Robert Frost once wrote; two roads diverged into a yellow wood, and sorry I could not travel both. We're told we can only follow one path.

And I have chosen the one less travelled.

=)

Secretly, I wished he would pull his trigger on me when he took out his rifle.

2012

It’s been awhile since I’ve updated bout my life on this blog. 6 months I think.

It is now a brand new year of 2013.

Checking back the previous posts, I realize that the last time that I actually made a resolution list was…2009. Maybe I’ve finally realized that it is nothing but formality. A mere gesture to pretend that we would actually change our habits hahaha.

But nonetheless, if you look back at the resolution list that you’ve once written down, and found out that you actually made progress or even better, accomplished it, you would at least feel that these years that pass by have not gone to waste.

As I’ve only accomplished 5 out of 11 resolutions that I’ve listed in 2009, this year I’ll make it simple:
1. Show more love to my loved ones.
2. Stick to healthy lifestyle, i.e sleep before 12am, exercise more, eat less fried, salty and fatty food.
3. Enrich myself to be more confident.

2011 was a fast-paced eventful year. 2012, despite slower paced, is the year where turning points in my life occurred.

1. I completed ACCA papers
   (not that it means much, but at least no more painful resits!! Though it also means higher membership fees =.=”)
   
   
2. I signed up for FSTEP programme with Public Bank = got myself a job.
   (and with it came a 2 year bond, of which 1 year of below-market salary and 0 benefits as an “intern” and another year of lost freedom.
   But in exchange, I made good friends, unforgettable memories, and…)
   
   
3. I met him =)

I may be sporting and carefree at times, but when it comes to matters that involve emotions, I become very rational. I analyze, think from different perspectives, consider every possible alternative, and then choose the decision with minimum negative impact.

Call me risk averse, but I am only afraid of being heartbroken.

Thus, I once doubt that if I would ever fall for someone, with such careful mentality in mind.

But the truth is, I didn’t even realize it until it’s too late to turn back. Lol.
One moment we’re still friends with good impression. The next thing you know, the thought of separation already saddens me to the point of tears. Ah.
Then you know it has already slyly made its way into your heart, through those barricades that you’ve carefully built up over the years.

Still, being the prudent person that I am, I wouldn’t want to set my expectations too high. Life is too unpredictable. (not sure why such an old-mentality-phase is coming out of a 22-year-old girl like me, but I’ve seen enough)

I only wish that we can stay happy while together. If it is meant to be, it will be. =)

May all of us have a greAt year ahead!! 

 Class'12 =) awww....

Outward Bound Lumut Malaysia (10/5 – 19/5) Part III

(...continued from previous post)

Then, it was time for whaling!

Whaling

Another major group expedition after jungle trekking. Since I skipped out on that one, I wanted to be able to join this actively.

Whaling got its name from the activity of people going out to sea in big ships to hunt for whales in previous centuries.
Their team spirit was crucial in order to survive through the waves and thunderstorm so this boat rowing activity is now adopted into a teambuilding exercise, thus the name.

 Discussing our respective roles on board and our strategies the night before,
at the dining hall

We needa whale around the entire Pangkor island!

There were 3 sails on the boat, namely main sail, jeep sail, and mizzen sail. Lots of rope tying were involved to set them up.
8 oars with 4 on portside (left) and starboard side (right).
We also need someone to navigate the steering at the bow (front) and someone to stay at the stern (back) to control the mizzen sail in order to capture the wind as well as to sink the anchor when we stop.

I shared an oar with Ima, who was the tiniest in our group lol.
We made a great team in rowing.
Halfway through the journey, many got seasick, including her. So Fatin replaced her position next to me. I couldn’t stand her half-hearted attempt in rowing (though it could be due to her feeling slight seasick but still) so I took a break before continuing rowing with Tasya this time.

 Group pic on board!
It's actually quite crowded, as there were 14 of us + camping equipment + food 

Tasya was truly strong spirited. She kept going and started singing, when the sun was scorching and we were stuck in the waves.
To keep myself from giving in to seasick and exhaustion, I sang along with her as well. (I hoped we cheered the team to keep going, or annoyed them so we could get there faster lol.) 

There were many versions of counting and chanting.

Dip, pull, up! Dip, pull, up!
1, 2, 3 … ( in all languages)
1 little 2 little 3 little Indians….
and many other children’s songs Tasya taught me lol. 

 We've got Spiderman (Afendy) as captain. =D

At last, we arrived at the beach campsite. As I didn’t have a watch, I was quite surprised to know that we had been rowing for 7 and half hours straight, without stopping the boat to eat or rest.
We were 2^nd in place to reach. The other 2 boats had to be towed to the beach as it was getting dark and they were stuck in the waves.
We are proud of ourselves! Haha. 

Our camp at the beach

After we set up the camp, the guys started heading to the sea with the lifejackets. But I wanted to go too!
I am a coward when it comes to sea ‘cause I feel very insecure just from standing ankle deep at the beach, feeling the sand slipping away from under my feet.
But now we have the lifejackets! What are we waiting for?!
Ok I need company. It’s all guys out there.

And company I got!
Izzati also wanted  to go so we  grabbed our lifejackets and walked all the way into the sea hahaha! 

It was fun!
So relaxing to be floating on my back without a thing to worry about…
watching sunset while drifting in the sea… watching the boys attacking each other lol…

Washing ourselves clean from the saltwater afterwards with the only well
(yes perigi) we had there would be troublesome but it was worth it. =D

That night was a sandy night.
Sand got in everywhere: on our clothes, in our shoes, tents and dry bags.
But it was a cooling night. All the guys except Daren (whose skin will peel off when in contact with sand) slept on a tentsheet under the stars, literally. 

Lynyen, I finally saw the stars which we didn’t get to see in Cherating.
Lots of them, like tiny diamonds splattered in the sky. It was beautiful. =)

Rowing back the next morning was slightly tiring  ‘cause of the sun shining directly in my face and I didn't know all the malay songs they were singing. But luckily we reached within an hour and half. (today's was ‘sesaran’, compared to the ‘whaling around the entire Pangkor island’ yesterday)

After the usual washing up of all equipments and ourselves AND my dirty laundry, it was time to gather again.

The thing I got so tired of doing throughout the 10 days was probably hand-washing my clothes EVERY DAY.
Omg it’s SO tiring, especially after coming back from exerting expeditions.
Waiting for your turn at the sink (limited), washing it standing, finding a place to hang (limited) etc.
I didn’t miss my parents, but I DID miss my washing machine. >.<

Moments

We do not remember days, we remember moments.

Throughout the 10 days, all IT gadgets like handphones, Ipod, books, cigarettes and alcohol were confiscated. We were to fully focus on the activities, on each other, on now.
I think that was a good move, as people are often way too distracted by all these things that they don’t fully appreciate each other’s company and the present as much as they should.
Now that the only thing we have is each other, we bonded fast.  

There were many little moments that we have spent together, between activities and during activities, which will remain treasured in my memory.

our usual hangout spot: under the trees near the beach

While waiting for the gathering time, we sat together on the grass near the beach, guessing many stupid but funny teka- teki, in the warm afternoon breeze, and while watching amazingly beautiful sunsets...
p/s: I’ve learnt a lot lol.

For future reference:

(ini ape game, ini berapa game, cross-uncross, buka-tutup, bang bang who dies, count sheep game) 

Every evening we're blessed with magnificent sunset views

(well except the 3 nights when we went for camping)

Dawn...I guess?

Trying to get ourselves relatively clean, by the almost stagnant stream in the forest, and around a well... Don’t forget the 360 degrees view toilet.

Falling unexpectedly into the sea and getting saltwater in the eyes (which can be irritating)...

Getting sugar high together from consuming glucose, to continue rowing for hours...

Always trying to push ourselves harder, just a little bit more,
a little bit more to reach where we wanted to go...


And what made this outward bound course complete was, it was not just a series of purely physical activities. 

sharing session after solo camping

Afendy always sit us in a circle, playing random games, getting us to share our emotions, what we’ve learnt, how we can improve ourselves and how we think others could improve, and of course, his thoughts as well. 

  

 On the last night, we had a BBQ party with performance from each team.
Our team's responsibilities for the night was to barbeque the food
(which the guys did) so we don't needa clean up afterwards! Haha. 

I am really glad that I went to this OBS. =)

It’ll remind me to not be afraid of stepping out of my comfort zone, every once in awhile.

And not to forget to keep applying insect repellant at the beach, despite being all sandy!!
Their marks are still there on my arms and legs, even after 2 weeks. This is the 2nd time I kena, first was during Cherating trip.
I hate beach mosquitoes. =_=”

p/s: All pics credited to Anuar, Kent, and Ivan.
Most of us didn't bring camera. Thanks to them we can recall our moments together with these nice photos =)

Outward Bound Lumut Malaysia (10/5 – 19/5) Part II

I don’t know whether it’s indeed in my nature to be bold, or it’s the rebellious streak in me to do something I shouldn’t be doing…
but I kinda want to try everything. Like everything. Of course, the slight anxiety would be present, but more pumping through my bloodstream was adrenaline. =D

Rope climbing

Wanted to do it, but was afraid that the harness would cause too much impact on spine if I fall. So I tried letting go while hanging in air. After confirming that harm is unlikely, I went all the way up. Bit tired pulling myself up the ropes, but felt syok when reached the top.

Jungle trekking and group camping

Jungle trekking was probably the only activity I was against about since the beginning. ‘Cause it involves bringing a super heavy backpack full of camp equipments, food, water bottles etc and trekking up and down the steep slopes for 7-8 hours. It’s impossible for me.

So I skipped out and an instructor drove me to campsite and waited for my teammates to arrive. I guess it was bit of a pity ‘cause I'll be missing out on this experience.

Nevertheless, it’s better for everyone that I don’t risk myself doing it. 

 Jungle trekking team formation

What touched me was how accepting my teammates are of me and my condition. When I knew that they’ve finally arrived at the foot of the hill near the campsite, I got there in time to join their cheer. During our dinner in semi darkness, Amin thanked me for offering to carry some of the load in the van (which would otherwise be in their backpacks). I haven’t once felt any sign of disapproval or heard any cynic remarks for my special treatment.

Group pic after 7 hours of jungle trekking

 Cooking dinner the cavemen way

 Menu of the night - Sardin, telur goreng, and nasi dengan kicap!

 Eating together on tent sheets

Torch lights + gallon bottle = tada!! Night lamp

During the sharing session in the dark around the "night lamps", I felt a bit out-of-place as I listened about their difficult trekking and their emotions.
But Amin mentioned that I should’ve joined the trekking without the backpack as it was through the hardship that the team members bond.
Afendy also consoled me not to feel sad as I would have the chance to join another 2 expeditions later. I was almost tearing back then. 

 Milo in the morning before leaving.
That's Amin the parangman lol. (the 'trekker' of the team to open up pathways in the woods)

Rafting

So they taught us how to tie different secure knots using the ropes.

I jotted down, and immediately forgot how. Lol.
Tasya was fast in analyzing the possible formations of the pipes and tires and the empty barrels with Amin and Daren. So I decided to make myself useful in analyzing the positions of each teammate on the raft, according to their weight. 

As I wasn’t so sure about it, I kept quiet when they altered my arrangements. And our raft overturned like 2-3 times in the sea, lol. Then we tried my original position arrangements, and we succeeded.
Couldn’t resist from feeling proud deep inside. =P

 Luckily we didn't encounter any while inside the sea. 

Solo camping

 This isn't mine. Just to show you how it's like.

Luckily we weren’t placed that far from each other. In fact, just few feet away from mine was Ima’s camp. My site was a slope though, so I built my tent in a slanting position. After relentlessly adjusting, I thought it looked stable enough to withstand the night.
(Daren sneaked over to offer advice on how to stabilize it lol)
Then came the next challenge, the fire.

Tried different ways to stack the firewoods. And it lit up everytime.

Yet it died out soon after. urgh.

Starting fire wasn’t really difficult, maintaining it was the real challenge. After countless attempts, my candle was getting shorter and I was starting to feel frustrated. And a monkey came to Ima’s campsite and stole some of her food rations. Terrified, she called me for help.
Though we weren’t supposed to interact (note that it’s “solo” camping), I couldn’t ignore her desperate pleas. So armed with a long stick, I marched into her campsite and chased off the monkey. Not really. Just up the tree, back to where he belongs.  And repeated that for a few more times, until it was dark and it finally went home.

Curry chicken and mihun as dinner

Sleeping alone wasn’t a problem. But due to the slope that the tent was built on, I was stiff in the back and legs from trying not to slide off from my sleeping bag the whole night.
We were lucky that the night was kinda cooling after the rain earlier.
After trying hard to write my letter to myself in legible writing for awhile, I decided to continue it later and go to sleep.
Surprisingly, I slept much better than the previous group camping. 

Wall climbing

Very tempted to try, but decided not to take unjustified risk after witnessing someone swinging in midair hung by the harness after accidentally losing his foothold. Not worth it. So I didn’t. =(

(To be continued…)

Outward Bound Lumut Malaysia (10/5 – 19/5) Part I

Now sitting in front of my laptop in my room, I try to recall what happened for the past 10 days. 

10 days may seem very short a time, but it felt as if so much had been done.

Let’s begin from the very start, as I don’t wish to miss anything out.

Ever since I got the job offer for this FSTEP (Financial Sector Talent Enrichment Program), I have known about the outward bound school (OBS). Attendance was compulsory unless due to medical reasons.
With my medical condition, I had a choice: to go (and join the rest of FSTEP for a lifetime experience) or not to go (as there are certain activities I couldn’t join anyway).

I am glad that I made the right choice. 

(Though I’m sitting here now tanned, muscles aching and itching all over with insect bites lol)

Preparation was rushed. On the last week of our English course with British Council, we had our weekly test as usual and did the marketing presentation that we had been preparing for the entire April. I was feeling sad (‘cause I think I’d miss Phil – great teacher and the fun time we had in Venus class) while at the same time, rushing to do last minute shopping for OBS.
Before we had time to dwell further into it, class ended on 9/5 and off we go to OBS in Lumut on 10/5. 

The first thing I felt when we dropped off our backpacks at the big gym hall in OBS Lumut was the blazing heat. Then it was the anxiety while waiting for my name to be called as we were organized into respective watches. Then finally, the relief - as there were 4 other Venus classmates who were also in my watch – Trusmadi. 

the 'rumah panjang' look-alike at the background were our dorms. 

Named after mountains in M'sia, they are located at different heights, with the highest being 'Camah' -
240 steps from ground i think.  

My dorm, Ledang was shared with another watch – Bintang. It takes 80 steps to reach Ledang, which by then I’d be so out of breath. But I am quite grateful ‘cause there are other dorms higher up, and the guys’ dorms range from 128 steps to 240 steps.

Plenty of them. They even sneaked into the boys' dorm and stole my friend's camera. Poor Jo.

In fact, there were so many things I am grateful for throughout this ten-day OBS course.

1) My instructor – Afendy was great.

Sporting, humourous, flexible, knows when to back off to allow us to feel our way through and when to step in to provide support and motivation. Understands my condition and helped me to join the activities better. 

2) My teammates in Trusmadi – damn helpful and supportive, especially the guys.

Before jungle trekking expedition

Let me list down their names so I’ll not forget.

Amin
leader for most activities. Likes to perli orang but is always voluntarily taking the heavier responsibilities. His jokes and stupid songs cheered us up when we were exhausted.

Daren
looks slim but damn strong. Stood in front-line with Amin, helping others. Has broken or fractured his wrists/ankles or other body parts yet still remains active in sports. Allergic to sand but wore singlet and short pants while whaling. =.=” 

Jo
forever the gentleman. Always offering to help with heavy stuffs and talks gently. I’m actually surprised that he didn’t show much withdrawal symptoms despite going from 100 cigs in 10 days to 7 cigs. (cigs were banned in OBS) 

  

Anuar

the multi-talent fellow. He can do everything in every activity, from tying different knots in building raft, rowing, and jungle trekking to building campfire. Always willing to teach. And entertaining with his funny and silly teka-teki lol.

Calvin

smart, but would stutter when trying to express himself as he gets nervous. Good navigator. Loves to sing, albeit not a good singer lol. 

Omry

quiet, willing to help but isn’t that good in automatically taking a place in a group activity. But since we’ve been groupmates for a month in Venus, I know that he’s just shy. His Cantonese is rice-splurtingly funny.

Tasya

also Venus classmate. Smart, clear-headed and quick learner. Good navigator, strong spirits, good singer, and speaks with an accent as she studied Psychology in Otago Uni. A great friend, but can be slow in packing. Often one of the last to sleep in dorm haha. 

Izzati

another Venus-ian. A super helpful and faithful friend. Sleeps next to me in dorm and in camp. Sporting enough to go mandi laut with me and other guys.

Ima

shortest in FSTEP I think lol. But very caring. Talking to her is pleasant. Her camp was near mine during solo camping, so I helped her to fend off the monkey although we weren’t supposed to talk to each other. (solo camp ma) but I can’t not help when I hear her calling me in her desperate voice lol… she was damn scared of it. To be fair, the monkeys were way more aggressive there. Stealing things not-so-stealthily and always coming back for more. 

Rai

Indian-malay mixed. Also fondly known as klcc lol. (inside joke) sporting, funny and also entertaining with her silly teka-teki. Low blood sugar and pressure, so the only one allowed chocolate in OBS.

Aishah

my bottom bunk mate. Married. Good cook, cooked rice using kayu api in group camp. She packed her stuffs fast, so I was bit guilty for disturbing her sleep as I took longer to pack and climb up to my bed later.

Fathin

good in getting water from the well. Abit slow in response, not so responsible and slight self centred though, thus perhaps my least favourite person in the entire watch, but she is otherwise okay. 

3) My bed under the fan

Inside of a dorm

It’s the first double decker bed to the door, top bunk, right under the fan. Which is great considering how hot it could get in the afternoon. Bed and pillow are supportive, unlike the soft ones in hotels that give u shoulder ache in the morning. 

4) Not falling sick

A day before OBS, I was still running fever with sore throat.
Despite being constantly under the sun, and getting exhausted from various activities, showering with very cold water early morning and late at night, not getting adequate sleep etc, I am so glad not to have fallen sick and get headache like I usually do. Not even seasick during whaling, when many others are puking or getting dizzy.
Thank Buddha for protecting me. =)

Hmm this post has been quite long, so I’ll break it into a few posts.
I’ll talk about the activities that we’ve done for the past 10 days in the next one then. =P