From the way they go on, you'd think overdue DVD rentals were akin to first degree murder...

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It all started out so innocently.

Go down to the local video store.  Borrow a video here, borrow a video there. First it's just an hour overdue, then two, then a day, until you're consistantly averaging a week late with your returns. It's a vicious cycle, believe me.

I know what you're thinking, how on earth can she be in trouble with a video rental store?  Didn't they all close down years ago thanks to iTunes and Netflix?  Well, maybe over in the US they did, but in Australia they've managed to hold on a tad longer, surviving on traditionalists and people with limited internet download plans.

But those days are over.  They're all closing down in droves ... and taking the opportunity to sell their debts to debt collection agencies.

Seriously, it's been years since I last rented a DVD from a video store, but that didn't stop them from selling the overdue fines I apparently owe them to a collector, or stop the collector from sending me a very official looking and wordy letter all about what they're going to do if I don't pony up the dough.

But the joke's on you, Mr Debt Collector!  I deal with guys like you all the time in my job, so I know all about the tricks of the trade.  I know exactly how much you would have to go through to try and get the dosh out of me, with a very real chance of you not getting anything in the end.  I know exactly how far a collector will go, and when they'll decide it's not worth it ... and I definitely fall under the category of not worth it.

You're just lucky I'm willing to be the bigger person.

The cheque is in the mail, dude.

Vintage lives, vintage wives...

I've always been a little bit obsessed with the 30's and 40's.  I really do love that whole World War II era, the styles, the fashion, the movies and the music.  I remember as a kid I used to watch all the old films they'd show on a Sunday afternoon, lots of black and white movies full of pin waves and army uniforms.  

But as much as I love that era, I don't think I'd ever be able to live in it.  I'm far too addicted to my mod-cons.  I need my iPad, and my microwave, and my wifi internet access.  But apparently there's a whole host of men and women out there who are choosing to live that lifestyle today.

The video below is a documentary I found that follows three women who've chosen to be "Vintage Wives", showing their lives and the sacrifices they've had to make to live like that.  Sure, it's a bit cutesy, but it's definitely worth a watch if you're into that sort of thing.  It goes for about 20 minutes though, so make sure you set a bit of time aside before pressing play.

I found it interesting that the three women seemed to have one thing in common, they used their lifestyles as an escape from the rest of the world.  They didn't really want to be part of it, preferring to socialise with other Vintage Lifestylers.  The documentary seemed to insinuate that this was a bad thing, that they were running away, but that seemed a bit harsh to me.  Sure, they were actively avoiding the 21st Century, but that was because they'd found something that suited them better.

Either way, it was fascinating to see the amount of detail that had gone into their homes, their clothes, how they did their housework, and how they navigated the "real" world when they couldn't avoid it.  I really don't think I could do it, but more power to them!

What do you guys think?  Could you live like these people?

Answering the age old question...

You know, there are some things that I just assumed were always going to be a mystery.  Who built Stonehenge?  How long is a piece of string?  How did Steve Irwin get so popular?  Could a man handle childbirth?  All unanswerable questions, wouldn't you think?

At least I assumed that the question of men and childbirth was unanswerable.  After all, how the hell do you test that theory?  Get a guy knocked up?

But some clever, or perhaps sadistic, scientist has worked out how to give a man all the symptoms and sensations of going through labour, excluding the actual pushing out a human being through a hole not really sized for it.  By attaching electrodes to specific spots on the man's abdomen, they can mimic the contractions a pregnant woman has, thus finally answering the question of who has a lower pain threshold, men or women.

It's interesting though.  This bloke manages to make it through three hours of simulated labour before he throws in the towel.  Not exactly realistic I suppose, a pregnant woman wouldn't be able to just give up half way through.  But other than tying him to he bed I guess they couldn't really force him to continue.

But I thought you mothers out there would find this video very interesting ... especially as guilt trip inducing material.  It should be good for breakfast in bed for the next few weekends at the very least.

Oh Disney, what can't you do...

Hello children.  Are we all sitting comfortably?  Good, then we'll begin.

Today we're going to learn about *hushed whisper* lady bits!  That's right, we're going to learn about that time of the month, Disney style!

Oh yes, you heard me right.  Turns out that Disney is good for more than just animated movies about dancing teapots and questionably accented crustaceans.  They also, back in the day, dipped their toe into the educational film market!  There's a few of them out there, but I thought that today we could all check out "The Story of Menstruation".  The title says it all, I think.

In it we get to watch as a character vaguely reminiscent of Cinderella navigates the minefield of young womanhood, narrated by someone who sounds a heck of a lot like June Allyson.  Come on, June, you were a star!  There's no way in the world you needed to do a voice over for a third rate educational short!  You were in Two Girls and a Sailor for gods sake!

Sorry, got carried away...

In the film they seem to put an awful lot of emphasis on the fact that girls "come in all shapes and sizes", and there's a frankly disturbing obsession with the word glands, but other than that there's not much as far as information goes.  There's just ten minutes of vague explanations and euphemisms, along with some rather questionable advice about not getting too hot or cold and "just getting over it" when you feel a tad emotional.

Yeah, that one gave me a sudden urge to grab something stabby too.

If this is how girls back in the 40's learned about their periods, I feel sorry for the poor dears!  The reality of it must have come as a bit of a shock if this was their primary source of information before the big event.  It's cruel if you ask me.  How were they supposed to prepare themselves for the water retention?  The cramps?  The sudden and inexplicable urge to sob because you can't open the pickle jar?  Not to mention the fact that your uterus practically liquefies and falls out!

Bad form, Disney!

Something that really make me giggle, though, was the fact that the film was sponsored by Kotex.  They had infomercials back in the 40's.  Who knew!

Best web shows out there...

Over the years I've found myself watching television less and less.  That's not to say I've stopped watching TV shows, I just tend to buy the DVD box sets these days.  There's nothing quite like watching an entire season of your favourite show in one sitting.  I'm pretty sure that's why we have weekends.

But without the channel surfing I used to do, losing the odd half hour here and there to some stupid show I didn't really want to watch in the first place, I find myself with a lot more time available for other forms of entertainment.  My chosen form?  Vlogs and web series!

Youtube, my friends, is a beautiful thing.

There is so much good content to be found, if you know where to look for it.  With the channels I subscribe to on Youtube I literally have well over an hour's worth of viewing waiting for me each evening when I get home.  Sure, some of it's amateurish.  It can be badly acted, or the filming can be pretty crappy, but the thing that makes up for that is the fact that these are real people, putting out their creations as they wanted it to be seen.  No one else rewriting it, no one censoring what they're trying to tell us.

And for every less than perfect production there's one that is just amazing.  The quality of some of these is just mind blowing, especially when you take into consideration a lot of them are filming on their own, no assistance, with just a few video editing programs to help them.

Call me a crazy, but I think that it's important to support the people that feel the urge to create for creation sake.  So I'm going to provide you with a list of my favourite vlogs and web series!  Go watch a few ... or better yet, have a hunt around and find some that appeal to you.  We've got so many different forms of entertainment these days, it seems stupid just to limit ourselves to the boob tube.

1.  The Guild:  This web series is one of my favourites!  For anyone who is into gaming, or who knows someone into gaming, you'll be able to relate.  It's the story of a guild of gamers, each of them socially inept in their own way, and how their friendships grow through their game.  It's hilarious, and so well done!  They've done five seasons so far so there's plenty to watch.

2.  Ghost Watching:  If you're a fan of the macabre, you'll love this channel on Youtube.  This one has lots and lots of documentaries about haunted places.  Castles, churches, cemeteries, all the good stuff we phasmophiles love.  You've no idea the number of hours I've whiled away watching their clips.

3.  You Deserve A Drink:  If you like your social commentary with a splash of vodka, then this will definitely appeal to you.  Mamrie gives her opinions on pretty much anything she can come up with, while mixing appropriately themed cocktails.

4.  Crash Course:  If you're a nerd like me and you like to learn about things, this channel will be right up your alley.  Concise, ten to fifteen minute videos on different topics, anything from the the Agricultural Revolution to an explanation of the theory of evolution.  All the things you were supposed to learn in school, but presented in a concise, easy to follow way that makes you actually want to know about them!

5.  Husbands:  This one is hilarious!  It's a web series about an actor and his base baller boyfriend who get married in Vegas after a drunken night celebrating the legalisation of gay marriage in Nevada, and then decide to try and make a go of it.  They've just started their second season.

So, do any of you have any recommendations?  Don't be shy, share them with the class.

Kristen speaks out ... sort of ...

So some of you might remember a little while ago when I wrote an entry about the highly entertaining break up between Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson.  They're still splitsville as far as I can gather, so I'm holding out high hopes for some deliciously uncomfortable press interviews in the very near future!

Yeah, I'm not a nice person.  No need to point it out, I'm already well aware of the fact.

Generally I wouldn't waste time on doing two entries about something as mundane as a celebrity power couple split, but when I came across the video below the other day I just had to share.  In it "Kristen" explains why she cheated on Rob, and the reasons are many and varied.

The girl nails the Kristen impersonation and if, like me, you enjoy laughing at the expense of ridiculously rich movie stars, then you'll definitely want to check this one out!

Fifty Shades: a musical tribute...

Like everyone else in the English speaking world, I've heard a lot about "Fifty Shades of Grey".  I can't give an opinion on it as I haven't had the chance to read it yet.  I'm saving it for my next holidays, a time when it's considered totally acceptable to read badly written smut of the non-fanfiction variety.  Although, given its origins, some would argue that Fifty Shades pretty much IS fanfic.

But even though I haven't read it, I could still appreciate this little musical tribute to the biggest thing to happen to cult literature since the Twilight series.  There's something in it for everyone!

No, don't thank me.  I'm happy to serve by seeking out these delightful time wasters.  I troll Youtube so you don't have to, kids!

Pale boy raps so good...

I'll be the first to admit it, my taste in music sucks.  I like far too much pop music to be discerning and I'm too fond of the golden oldies to be edgy.  Seriously, I not only know all the words to "The Way We Were", I know exactly where all the emphasis should be placed and I absolutely insist that it's sung that way whenever it plays on the radio in my car.

My iTunes list is, to be frank, embarrassing.  It's crammed with bad 90's tunes, sixties party mixes and glee songs.  Well, that and racy audio fictions with lots of guy on guy action.  So sue me!  I need something interesting to listen to when I'm doing the housework, and nothing speeds the vacuuming up like a little homoerotic rumpty pumpty.  We're living in the Fifty Shade era, people!

But of all the musical genres out there, the one that I usually try to steer clear of is rap.  I just don't get it.  It's people ... talking really fast ... with music in the background.  Yeah, just not getting it.

But even I had to be impressed by this guy.  As someone who regularly records audio books, I have a hard enough time getting the words out at a normal rate and I get the luxury of being able to stop and start as I need to ... I have no idea how this kid manages it!

Kudos dude, I'm impressed.

Chick-fil-A and Drag: a match made in heaven...

Lately in the news there's been a lot of talk about how The Jim Henson Company has decided not to continue their partnership with Chick-fil-A ever since it became known that the company was anti LGBTQ rights.  Lots and lots of pictures of The Muppets publicly denouncing the fast food group and standing up to declare where their loyalties lie.  Good on you, Jim Henson Company!

As an Australian, I have no idea who Chick-fil-A are, or how popular they might be, but I just find it really strange that a fast food group would be anti anyone!  But surely the nature of their business is to sell as much greasy, heart attack inducing food products as possible to the masses.  Why on earth would a commercial chain purposely alienate 10 percent of the population, to say nothing of those who support them?  Greedy fast food commercialists?  You're doing it wrong, dudes!

But hey, if they want to be so stupid as to ignore the first rule of business (the customer is always right), then that's their choice.  I'm guessing that this public shaming by The Muppets isn't going to do much for their image.  I mean jeez, when Kermit, Miss Piggy and Fozzie Bear are telling you you're stupid and they don't want to play any more, that definitely sends a message to those of us who were raised watching them.

Honestly, when I see things like this I can't even get angry anymore.  I suppose it's because I know they're just dinosaurs, roaring and stomping around, slowly but surely dying out.  But that doesn't mean I can't enjoy someone taking a crack at them.  Personally, I think this Youtube video makes a rather fitting fuck you.

I'm on a cart, heyah...

Librarians are a  funny breed.  Working as a non-librarian in the library industry, I can say that with an exasperated fondness that others couldn't get away with.  But if there's one thing that both the librarians and the non-librarians are united on in the industry, it's that what we're doing is important.

This generally leads to a lot of discussion about "What libraries mean today", battles royale about whether ebook readers are going to make printed material obsolete, and quite a lot of squeeing whenever we find something that makes us look cooler than we really are, like the Nancy Pearl Librarian Action Figure, or the TV show The Librarians.

So, because I'm both an employee and a fan of libraries, and because I love the Old Spice commercial, today I've decided to share with you a video that had all of us library boffins positively twitterpated when we found it.

You're welcome.