Vintage lives, vintage wives...

I've always been a little bit obsessed with the 30's and 40's.  I really do love that whole World War II era, the styles, the fashion, the movies and the music.  I remember as a kid I used to watch all the old films they'd show on a Sunday afternoon, lots of black and white movies full of pin waves and army uniforms.  

But as much as I love that era, I don't think I'd ever be able to live in it.  I'm far too addicted to my mod-cons.  I need my iPad, and my microwave, and my wifi internet access.  But apparently there's a whole host of men and women out there who are choosing to live that lifestyle today.

The video below is a documentary I found that follows three women who've chosen to be "Vintage Wives", showing their lives and the sacrifices they've had to make to live like that.  Sure, it's a bit cutesy, but it's definitely worth a watch if you're into that sort of thing.  It goes for about 20 minutes though, so make sure you set a bit of time aside before pressing play.

I found it interesting that the three women seemed to have one thing in common, they used their lifestyles as an escape from the rest of the world.  They didn't really want to be part of it, preferring to socialise with other Vintage Lifestylers.  The documentary seemed to insinuate that this was a bad thing, that they were running away, but that seemed a bit harsh to me.  Sure, they were actively avoiding the 21st Century, but that was because they'd found something that suited them better.

Either way, it was fascinating to see the amount of detail that had gone into their homes, their clothes, how they did their housework, and how they navigated the "real" world when they couldn't avoid it.  I really don't think I could do it, but more power to them!

What do you guys think?  Could you live like these people?

Women in the workplace ... whatever next...

Hello students!  Professor Kellie here, and today's Convoluted History Class will be entitled "Gals in the Workplace; or, you just sit down sweet cheeks while the big boys do the real work".

For those who read Mass Transportation (and who doesn't!), you may be familiar with their excellent 1943 publication on the topic called "Eleven Tips To Getting More Efficiency Out Of Women Employees".  This simple, common sense advice was aimed at male bosses who have been forced to hire women.  I know, I know, how dreadful!  Girls in the workplace, doing the work of men, taking wages away from deserving lads.  Whatever next!  Female doctors?  Lawyers?  A female Prime Minister?

I know you're all sitting there thinking that surely this is an isolated incident.  How many women could there really be in the workforce?  After all, we all know that women are entirely unsuited to working, unless it's in a job like nurse, beautician, or stripper.

But you'd be surprised at how many women have crept into all facets of the workforce over the years, and as employers you need to know how to handle the delicate little creatures.  I'm not going to go through all the tips with you, I'm sure you can all read them at your leisure, but lets look at a few of them together, shall we?

"Pick young married women.  They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, they're less likely to be flirtatious, they need the work or they wouldn't be doing it, they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently."

Oh those women, it's so hard for them to resist flirting with everything that moves!  Best only hire ones who are already hitched, they're less of a threat.  But heaven forbid, don't hire them if they're too old!  You may not want them getting up to a little hanky panky with the photocopy boy, but you need to have SOMETHING good to look at!

"General experience indicates that husky girls - those who are just a little on the heavy side - are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters."

Very good advice, students!  We all know that a girl who's on the plump side will be much more even tempered, and therefore much less likely to take offence to anything you might do or say and haul off and hit you in the face ... like, for example, call her plump.

"Give the female employee a definite day-long schedule of duties so that they'll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes.  Numerous properties say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them, but that they lack initiative in finding work themselves."

This is an important one to pay attention to.  After all, we all know that women, bless their dear little hearts, can't make decisions for themselves.  If you don't give them a solid schedule, mapping out every minute of their days, god only knows what you'll find them doing when you get back!  So give them a well planned daily itinerary and there's no way that they'll want to throttle you for micromanaging.

And this ends our class for today, students.  I hope you've all learned something about this very important topic.  Don't forget to study, there'll be a test later!

Crafty...

Now that we’re all getting to know each other a little better, I think it’s time to tell you about some of my more … interesting … hobbies.  You see, I’m a Gemini, and in true Gemini fashion, I have a tendency to jump on a fad or obsession, ride it until it’s exhausted, and then put it down and never look at it again.  It’s resulted in there being a lot of different phases in my creative life … as well as a lot of abandoned craft items in my house.


I’m a fair crocheter, and I do like to knit.  In my family it’s a bit of a thing to know how to knit socks.  I’m pretty sure I’m the only one actively using that talent at the moment, but I’m determined not to let the skill become rusty.  What if we have another World War and I have to start knitting socks for our boys at the front!  I'm no good at rolling bandages or collecting scrap metal.  I need to be prepared!


I tried the whole DIY furniture refurbishing, but that one didn’t end so well.  Now I have a half stained occasional table, and a kitchen floor that looks like someone was murdered in there.  Turns out furniture stain is impossible to get out of lino.  That was an interesting one to try and explain to my landlady!  


I ended up spinning quite the story about deceptive furniture stain instructions and hardware shop attendants who should find other forms of employment based on their bad advice.  I'm not sur if she believed me, but she was gracious enough to pretend that she did.


Embroidery is harder than it looks.  One delightfully misguided family member got me one of those “embroider it yourself” tablecloths as a gift one year, and I gamely went to the craft store and stocked up on embroidery thread of every possible colour.  But it didn’t take me long to realise that just because you can sew on a button and sort of fix a hem, that didn’t automatically translate into you being an elite status seamstress.  


So that resulted in yet another half finished project and a tablecloth that could have been lovely if it wasn't for the sad, sorry, puckered stitching around the edges.


It's handy for throwing over the bird cage though!

Luckily the threads didn’t go to waste after I discovered the joys of Subversive Cross-stitch.  It was positively serendipitous, what with the snarky irreverence and the modest level of skill required.  It took a while to get the hang of, but now I can cross-stitch curse words wreathed in flowers with the best of them.  

My mother still tuts and shakes her head every time she comes over to my place and sees the one I have nicely framed and on display on my side board.  But really, is there anything more elegant that telling someone to shut the fuck up via needlepoint?  How can you look at this and NOT want to hang it on your wall!

Exactly!

The dirty cleaning truth...

I like to think of myself as a common or garden variety modern woman.  I'm (relatively) young, independent, self sufficient, only slightly neurotic, and capable of keeping both myself and a cat alive simultaneously.  I'd say that puts me ahead of the curve in most cases.

I own a car, a washing machine, and a ridiculous looking fake silver tree that sits on my side board and serves no noticeable purpose.  I work 40 hours a week, do the bare minimum of housework that I can get away with without someone mistaking my place for a demolition site, and spend far too much time on the internet.  I'm your standard single office dwelling thirty something.

But the truth is ... and I can't tell you how much my modern liberated soul rebels at telling you all this ... there's a wee little part of me that can't help singing with glee when I read a cleaning tip in a magazine.  A small part of my subconscious perks up when I see a beautifully laid out living room plan in a home decorating magazine.  Somewhere, deep in the recesses of my brain, is the knowledge that you can use a walnut to erase scratches on polished wooden furniture.

Yes ... I'm a cleaning porn junkie.

I know!  I'm not supposed to want it!  I'm not supposed to yearn for the days when keeping an immaculate house was the benchmark of an accomplished woman.  But I just can't help it!

There's just something about the whole idea of it!  A beautiful house, scrubbed and polished within an inch of it's life.  The smell of fresh baking wafting from the kitchen.  Crisp linens drying on the line in the back yard.

And the funny thing?  It's not like I have any intention of DOING any of these things!  Oh no, that would cut into my sitting on the couch and bumming around on the internet far more than I'm comfortable with!

Maybe that's it!  I don't want to be an old fashioned housewife, I want to GET an old fashioned housewife!  That'd be perfect!  I'd have all the benefits of having a perfectly appointed and immaculately kept house without having to do any of the nasty jobs myself.  It'd be perfect, I could come home to "How was your day, Honey" a pair of warmed slippers, and a martini.

Only one problem ... I'm not gay.  So I guess a housewife is out of the question.  I could always try for a house husband I suppose, but from observation I'd say that an old fashioned house husband is about a thousand times harder to find than one of the feminine variety.

I could always hire someone I guess.  Put an add on Craigslist?  "Wanted, male homekeeper for a slightly scatterbrained professional woman.  Must be adept at doing laundry, scrubbing, baking, and aforementioned woman (boom-chicka-wa-wa)."

Hmm, but when you're talking about hiring a spouse rather than a cleaning person, you end up walking a pretty fine line between mail order groom and gigolo ... and I'm not entirely sure which side of that line I'd prefer to fall on.