My last post was in November 22, 2013. It was my first day at work in SBST.
This year, November 22, 2014, is the date that I'm going to get married.
It's April 20th, 2 days shy of 5 months being in this company which I absolutely adore, and doing the job I absolutely love.
It is also 2 days and 7 Months shy of my wedding.
I just think that everything is slightly grey now. Apiz said, our moms have somehow got into a conclusion to nikah us first before my parents go for Umrah. Then in November, we will sanding.
Initially, I thought that was a great idea. Now, I'm just afraid. I know Apiz is afraid too. He is not mentally prepared to leave his house fully.
My fear? I guess I have always been afraid of change. Like how I was in my 3rd year in RP. It's like, I was the senior in poly when I still feel like I'm still a kid.
Now, I just don't know how and what to feel.
I'm afraid. That's for sure.
The whole marriage thing is scary.
Saving money.
Booking-Deposit-Paying nearing your date
Spending money.
I have anxiety when it comes to money.
1) Saving 70% of my pay.
Currently I'm saving $1000/mth. Seems like still not enough though. Haiz, but that's the most that I can afford. I hope there's a bonus somewhere, can boost up the saving.
2) Booking-Deposit-Paying near your date
Sigh. I'm so so paranoid. I hate owing money. So this, just sucks to me, but no choice. I have to book the services that I want first. But I don't have enough money to pay them now. So i have to owe first. Haiz..
3) Spending money
I think i've become a total scrooge. I won't buy costly things. I won't even buy things. I don't even shop unless it's really necessary (like my shoes got torn). So the thought of spending money is scary to me. If i spend, I won't have enough. I feel like i'm poor. But it's not that. It's just that I have money, which i can't use. But it's enough to make me feel like I really have no money.
Things will be better one day.
I can't say when, but it will be better one day.
For now, HAIZ. My thoughts are all about making money.
So stress!!
