KL

I know it is late.

But really been very busy.

There really is not enough hours in the day to do all the things I want to.

Really.

Firstly.

Selamat Hari Raya.

Maaf Zahir Dan Batin.

Secondly.

My KL Trip was fun.

He had the most fun.

Got to smoke at the pool.

Drank at the hotel bar.

Played the hotel's piano.

Got a short clip of his dad being cute.

Went shopping till the shopping centre closes.

A first for him.

He is so happy.

Look at the pictures.

Fun.

Love.

Freedom.

All The Things We Need.

Crazy

Pretty crazy people.

Pretty exciting trip ahead.

Pretty party food.

Pretty life as of now.

My Pretty Boy.

Sad Birthday Boy

I know it's been a really long time.

And I'm so sorry but life has been really fun.

Too many parties, tons of drinks, alot of people to meet.

So little time.

And I am going to watch Daughtry tonight.

Too bad my sis can't be here.

She would have been so happy.

I miss her.

Can't wait to have her back.

A certain someone's Birthday is coming real soon.

But he seems sad.

Maybe its the realisation that he is getting old.

And that he won't be having a party this year.

I'm so sorry I can't do much.

Maybe next year?

Whatever it is I hope you still am happy on that day.

You might get presents.

Love you babe.

Thanks For Making My Day!!!

Well yeah it happened so long ago.

But people sure don't forget about it.

What with all the references in posts that intellectually impaired people like me and my friends wouldn't get.

I mean smart people should actually know the difference between babbling and actual facts.

Unless some of the words actually hurt them.

Cause maybe there is some truth in it after all.

But oh how can silly little me ever find out if it's true.

I mean it was damn exciting talking about how boys generally think with their dicks.

And how girls can let the one they love fuck around but under one condition.

And kids please remember this.

If you want to fuck around.

Please.

Please wear a condom.

And when you decide to finally commit.

Didn't you just feel the warm fuzzy feeling of finally getting what you have been yearning for.

I mean it's like pay day.

You have money to buy that beautiful pair of heels that you want.

Nice isn't it?

I mean I can't really remember the last time I felt that.

I havn't worked in so long.

Does it still feel good?

Is the high still there?

I mean I love getting presents & surprises.

Is it a crime?

So since I'm so free and have nothing in my brains right now.

I mean I'm not like most people who like have to work and all.

But I was really surprise to get a response so fast.

It just shows how hard people really work at work.

Which something I really don't know anymore.

Anyway since I'm the only one who really voices out how they feel.

I feel real good right now.

I mean I havn't had so much fun in such a long time.

I mean you know how parties and hanging out with fun people can get so passé.

So I just had to piss someone just to make my day alittle more exciting.

I mean I can't go meet my friends over the weekend and have nothing to gossip about.

That would be a tragedy.

I can't not contribute to gossips.

I mean yeah I gave you a chance to toot your horn too, you know?

I'm sure your friends will think how cool it is that you are so multi talented.

Damn, I didn't even know you can make music out of bed.

Oh and please excuse me for using simple words.

I mean like you are kind of a genius right?

Creative Genius.

Yeah that's right.

I spelt it all right, right?

Oh well it doesn't really matter.

And WOW you are like a man.

I mean only boys like to fight right?

But WOW you can really protect yourself.

With all those talents you should really try for TV.

They are always looking for talents here in Singapore.

I mean you are the real thing you really have so much talent you shouldn't waste it.

I mean you are lucky.

You have someone who dresses up everyday and entertain kids.

That is a good sign by the way.

Men who love kids are good to have around.

He is still good in bed right?

The only reason I was involved was cause He asked me to take care of her.

But since like everyone is saying that it's all in the past.

Then maybe we should all just forget about it.

But I know it won't be any fun anymore if we stop.

I mean who else can I bitch about.

My life really is so boring.

But I really have to thank you for really giving me something to blog about.

You know, got to make up for all those empty days of not blogging.

Too much parties.

Too many mindless people just having around doing nothing.

I was really counting on you to reply with as much emotion as possible.

And you, Wow, Fooo... You deserve a BIG FAT A.

Thank you so much.

I had so much fun.

Oh and that little dark man.

You can keep him.

I mean I have so many people in my life that can entertain me.

And you can have him really.

Cause I was getting tired of his repeated conversations and actions.

So you know like that pair of beautiful heels that you bought and got a high from.

The one you got with your own money that you worked really hard for.

Once it's broken you can send it to the cobbler to get it fixed.

But eventually you gotta throw it away.

Stop Kidding. PLEASE!!!

It's amazing how people make themselves appear to be something they are not.

Guys may think that you are the helpless type.

But you clearly are not am I right?

Stop kidding everyone.

I mean you like to tell the world that you are some sex crazy person.

Please.

You are the lowest thing I have ever known.

I'm sure you are the type that will say & do ANYTHING just to get what you want.

I'm sure every guy wants a girlfriend like you.

Watch Your Tongue

You dare say you would have slapped me if I wasn't his GF?

It shows what kind of man you are.

Men who hit girls are all fuckers.

If you have a problem with me.

Deal with me and me alone.

Don't bring anyone else into this.

Now I know who you really stand with.

Anyway why do you always have to make it your problem when it's not?

It's between me and them.

Why do you always have to protect them.

When I heard what you said.

I wanted to hit you myself.

So mind your own business.

Slap me if you dare.

Now we have a problem.

Watch your tongue.

Too Bad

As expected I have ruffled some feathers.

Why do you have to ask him to tell me to stop?

This is my blog.

I can say whatever I want.

And don't give me the excuse that you want to stop all this from exploding into a war.

I am my own person.

I make my own decisions.

No one controls me.

I know you'd react like this.

So it's not a shock for me.

If you didn't like what I blogged.

Then think about what your friend blogged.

Is it fair?

I don't think so.

If she really is a friend to you, how come you never told him to stop?

Not everyone can be pushed around.

Not everyone tries to make the world seem better for them.

I say TOO BAD!!!

RE: ATTENTION WORLD

I know it happened a long time ago.

I really wanted to just let it pass.

But till now it bugs me.

So ATTENTION WORLD!!!

You called asking for her to stop yet you did the same thing you thought she did.

It is so very low of you.

I read it and I was furious.

How could you say such things.

And by the way, parts of glorifying your girl.

Sounds like she was twisting your arm as you typed those words.

You asked why I never liked her.

I blame both of you.

You both were too stupid to commit and ruined other lives.

You could have stopped if you really wanted her.

But you didn't.

You think with your dick.

I hate you.

I hate her.

And I know she don't fancy me either so it's even.

It would have stopped.

But you just had to post about it.

And I may not be the most credible person to say this.

For I had spent my days being confused and loving everyone who paid me attention.

But I thought you were a better person than me.

And I am trying to be a better person now.

Never thought you would ever do this.

I am disappointed.

You have sunk to an all time low.

Maybe it's the company you keep these days.

You made me promise to watch over her.

And I am keeping that promise.

So you stop all this nonsense.

And if you don't like it.

BITE ME!!!

Just something that you are very familiar with and like to hear right?

And while I'm at it.

You little man.

Never thought you'd say such things.

Yes it's true he knew the guys longer than me.

But if you havn't noticed already.

I have never stopped him from seeing anyone he wants to.

And besides just because we couldn't meet up with you.

Didn't mean we won't be there.

You are such a fool these days.

Wonder where you get all this from...

Wanting something but not willing to go through it all.

If you say you don't like to be a Roadie/Sound Tech guy.

Then don't be.

You say you don't want to Stay.

So what are you doing hanging around for?

Trying to make yourself feel better by being around and waiting to see if there is something to laugh about if they don't make it?

Make a decision.

And stick to it.

Sad For You

It seems everyone is a critic eh?

So what if you don't understand or like what I wrote.

I may not have lost someone I really love to death yet.

But death is a sad and scary thing for everyone.

I don't have to explain myself to you.

And too bad you think I make my life seems sad.

But you really are so wrong.

You must be one of those freaking sad lonely people who randomly goes to blogs and just leave bad comments.

Basicly you are just a sad little person.

Too bad for you.

I feel sad for you.

Death Comes As A Shock - Always

As human beings we are always afraid of Death.

As compared to a birth which we have about 9months to expect.

Death comes whenever to whoever.

Though I may not have been close to the departed.

He sure had alot of people who thought the world of him.

He may have led a healthy life.

No vices whatsoever.

But we can never tell when it comes.

I may have been one of the most coldest person there.

Numb to the fact that it was a funeral.

A person has died.

But all I kept seeing was the little child dressed in lime green.

Oblivious to what it all means.

She was just happy playing with her shadow.

The way it followed every jump she made.

She is the life that he lost his own for.

She is the space that he made room for in this world.

It is a very sad thing.

Yet I see it as a way to make people realise that life is never to be taken advantage of.

As corny as it sounds.

We all must do everything to make ourselves happy.

It is our life for we only have this chance to really live it.

We will never know if he had things to say.

More things he would really like to do.

Like the Rock for Good event.

Though he may not be around to see it.

There will be others who will complete it.

For it is what he would have wanted.

But all I know about him was he was a good man.

He was part of The Suns.

And as you see the sun rising every morning.

Remember Wayne Thunder.

And the life he brings each day.

Endogenous Morphine

1+1= 6

2+7= FOOD & FUN

6+9= LOVE

Lost in the east.

Funny, the destination was just the next lane.

Cooked with girlie.

She is my tastebuds for the day.

Boys are useful sometimes.

But not when it comes to blowing.

Water is fun.

Not just for kids.

Pool: be it made of concrete or plastic.

Every house should have one.

Chocolate hearts.

Melts everyone.

Blueberry hearts.

Goes slow and steady.

4 venues for all kinds of activities.

For all kinds of friends.

The perfect getaway.

Full of Love, Friends, Food, Fun, Laughter, Craziness & Endogenous Morphine.

Tag You're It

Here's the rules
Cut and paste if you decide to participate in the tagging game. Each player of this game starts off by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog.


6 weird things about me
1) I like my food to be arranged nicely on my plate before I eat it.
2) It annoys me to walk back from a bus stop to a destination that the bus I was in has already passed.
3) I must have good music when I cook to make the food taste better.
4) I don't like other people in the kitchen with me when I cook.
5) When I like a new song I will play it over & over to soak in the soul of the song.
6) When I have an event I will think of all the bad things that can happen and try finding solutions to them then I will be happy n finish planning it with a lighter heart & mind.

So, now i'm gonna tag :
1) Kylie
2) Aaron
3) Scat
4) Nana
5) Fana
6) Nasrul

Post Birthday

I had a fantastic birthday this year.
Had a different look.
Spent it with dear friends.
And the cake was fantastic.
Luckily everyone was kind of broke so no one made me drink.
The presents was great.
Got Disney's Chip & Dale Rescue Rangers on DVD from my man.
Got an art file with charcoal & drawing pad.
Uber Cool!!!
I feel like I'm 8 instead of 22.
But of cause I love them.
Would not have traded them for anything else.
Salsa was very fun.
As expected the boys chickened out.
The girls were the most noisy students in the class.
Danced with so many guys.
Tall, Dark, Fair, Short, Young, Old.
One dance partner wished me a Happy Birthday and he was the best partner I had cause he was really patient with me.
At the end of it I only got my feet stepped on once.
And boy, did my calves hurt.
Thanks especially to Kylie who made it so special.
To Scat, Bob, Jon, Jerry, Ranjan, and the guy who kept sitting beside me @ Actor's.

LOVE YOU GUYS LOADS.

My Treasures

Things & People That Has been Haunting My Mind Lately

Turning 22

I have never really been a big fan of my own birthday.

This year feels different.

I actually want a big thing.

But it's too late to organise one.

I'm actually just happy with what she has planned.

Salsa dancing & drinks after that.

My mum asked me last week where we should go to for my birthday dinner.

At that moment I really didn't care where.

But it seems like she was kind of sad to hear that I actually had plans.

It was almost heartbreaking.

I really wish that I was more comfortable around her.

But I'm not.

I wish I could just do what I have always wanted to do.

But I can't.

It just feels like it's not a birthday.

The Holiday

The weekend was fantastic.

It was like an overseas holiday with friends.

Good food.

Good company.

Good drinks.

Great fun.

For alot of us it felt like we were not even in Singapore anymore.

It was the much needed break we all needed to unwind.

Unwind from the real world.

Even if it was just for 12-24 hours.

It was great fun.

I have always thought that Singapore really is such a material country.

Everyone wants to have everything bigger than the next person.

But eventhough the house was extraordinary.

All that matters was the company for that night.

Everybody shed their armour and for once we all really let our inner selves shine.

I saw her lose her cool in the kitchen.

It was adorable how she tried to not show the nervousness of how she is going to get eveything done in time.

Talking about how it didnt seem to turn out right.

It really is like that.

But things turned out fine.

We got to shower after all the hard work.

And chill for awhile before we went upstairs to bask in the night air.

Stars over our head.

Seeing planes take off to wonderful destinations.

It almost felt like a dream.

Wished it didnt have to end.

But there will be other experiences to fill our memory banks.

We should always treasure all the good times, with good people, satisfy our tongues with delicious food, tease our minds with alcohol and fill our hearts with as much good things as possible.

On behalf of everyone. We all truly enjoyed ourselves. Thank you for your hospitality. You made our days, weeks, and for some even months. Love you Babe.

Not About To Sign My Life Away Just Yet.

Here I am at Phunk Bar.

Computer at home crashed.

What a waste of time to be home.

Mum was weird today.

She asked if I was serious about my boyfriend.

I'm sorry but I really think it's none of her business.

She is afraid for me.

Afraid that I might catch something from sleeping around.

I'm sorry but I'm not sleeping around.

As much as alot of you people think I'm out sleeping around alot.

You are all wrong.

When it comes to my relationship.

Or any relationship for that matter.

It really isn't for all those not in the relationship's concern.

Besides the parties involved.

I really don't think you should stick your fingers where it doesn't belong.

Sure I have listened to problems and the cute stuff that happens in my friends or family's relationship.

Sure I give advice but ultimately it's their work.

They can listen to your advices.

But in the end it's their decision, right?

So mum was telling me it's not good and what will people say.

When they find out that I stay over at my boyfriend's house on weekends.

But for now that's the only time we have to spend with each other.

He is in National Service.

Do you really want your lives decided on what people think of you.

For most parts of my school days.

The girls in school didn't fancy me much.

They called me a slut.

But do they really know me?

No.

And they didn't stop to ask.

To really find out.

I was branded a slut cause I was friends with most of the guys in school.

So does it really make me a slut?

I really don't think so.

I guess mum thinks that I'm getting old and wants me to get married soon.

I know I'm not getting any younger but come on.

Marriage?

You really don't think it solves anything do you?

I just got myself to be with a person right now.

I'm learning to trust another person.

Let's take baby steps.

Even if it means that I will only get married by the time I'm about to retire.

I really don't think it's what I want right now.

It really is a scary thing.

I mean I grew up seeing more harm done when couples get married.

Do you really think I want to sign my life away.

Not just yet.

Please give me a break.

I don't really want to think about it right now.

Stop scaring me.

Communication Is Key

Good morning.

I know it's really early.

9:50am

I havn't slept a wink since I woke up at 2pm yesterday.

Funny not sleepy.

Well not yet anyway.

Met 2 exs in the last 24 hours.

And witnessed a couple going through a rough patch.

Communication is key.

The problem with this world is no one really talks.

As in really say what they feel.

I know sometimes it's good to keep some opinions to yourself.

But if there is already a problem.

Then you should talk.

Say what really bugs you.

How it makes you feel.

And how you are going to solve it.

I'm not saying I'm an expert.

But after gone through alot of failed relationships.

And thanks to a conversation with an ex.

The biggest problem in all my failed relationships was that we didn't talk.

Talk, talk.

I always didn't want to hurt them.

Hurt them more when we were both already hurting.

And it was a bad thing.

As you can tell.

We failed.

I betrayed myself.

By trying to be the person that the person wants me to be.

I tried.

But in the end I was never happy and I ran.

I was a coward.

I ran away from the problem.

Not wanting to talk about it.

It become worse.

So I ran further.

And it became so easy to just run from one problem to another.

Yet the problem is the same.

It never went away.

Until one day the problem ran away from me.

It was at that point that I started to find myself.

Really getting to know myself better.

And I actually do like what I found out about myself.

I'm not that weak.

I don't need to have someone to make me feel complete.

I can survive being alone.

And that is when I can see myself from a different point of view.

I am woman, hear me roar.

Cheesy, I know.

But it works.

As I was saying.

Communication.

My ex has recently started reading my blog.

And he told me that he didnt know this side of me.

And I found the answer pretty quick actually.

I told him that is because he never asked me about myself.

I tried so hard to know what makes him tick.

And in the end I found out it was just a one sided relationship.

He took, I gave.

I wasn't happy.

I was thinking if we did talk then maybe things would have turned out differently.

But I am happy for the experience.

It has made me into a better person.

I'm now in a great relationship.

I'm not running.

Well not just yet anyway.

But we talk.

Even if we end up in tears.

We understand each other better.

We both learn from each other.

And if you both are committed to make it work.

We learn to compromise.

And try not to make the same mistakes again.

And that's when your heart will give a sigh of relief.

And you both carry on feeling better.

And that my friend is love.

Communication.

Commitment

Compromise.

Waking To Reality

It's funny how just a few extra hours can make a whole big difference.

Within this extra hours I find that I feel more for you than I thought I did.

But I can also feel the cautious side telling me to not jump head first into this.

All I ever wanted was to be able to jump and know that someone is always there to catch me.

As much as you try to be there I guess I can not always believe that you actually will be there.

I'm dancing to a tune in my head.

It makes me take 1 step forward then 2 steps back.

Then sometimes 2 steps forward then 1 step back.

As much as the words you speak are so enticing.

Like a skilled story teller.

Able to create magical realms.

Letting me believe just for a little while.

But just like any dream.

I am seeing this beautiful world.

Soaking all the good rays.

Suddenly in the midst of beauty.

I realised it's just a dream.

All this is not real.

As much as I would like to continue dreaming.

It's gone.

It's fading.

And I can't do anything to make it come back.

Watching you sleep was heartbreaking.

For when I'm ready to talk.

You fell asleep.

Leaving me behind alone in the dark.

I cried to myself.

With you lying next to me.

And there was nothing I could do but leave.

I'm Happy For You

I have always tried to not be too involved in matters concerning the family.

Most of the time I just choose to stay away.

Yet it catches up with me every single time.

And the topics never change.

Why do they keep pulling me back when they have decided long ago that I was a lost cause.

As far as I know I was a bad child.

A bad influence.

Cause I chose not to listen.

Cause I chose not to be someone they want me to be.

After all these years.

After all the tears.

Just leave me alone.

Don't get me involve with your never ending petty arguements.

Just like what my brother said.

"She is like that. What else can we do?"

"If she chooses not to listen to our advise, it's her decision."

Just give up on changing me.

Just because I wear shorts and skirts doesn't make me a slut.

Just because I stay over at my friend's house doesn't make me a bad person.

Just because I'm not working now doesn't mean that I'm not looking.

Just because I choose not to share every detail of my day doesn't mean I'm in a bad mood.

You really don't know me.

So don't judge me.

You think I don't envy you guys?

When I see everyone in the house just talking about things that happened that was so funny so sad so memorable.

Yet it sometimes seems like I was never around at all.

I missed out on alot because I was trying to save myself.

Thanks to my brother to always be there to remind me what a loser I am.

I know I'm older yet I don't have a job.

I'm smarter yet I didn't finish school.

Thank you so very much.

You really do know how to make a person feel so loved.

Thanks to my sister for being around so that mum has a chance to say that at least one of her girls finished school.

Don't ever be like me.

Congrats to my fav cousin finally things seem to be going your way.

I'm really glad for you.

In fact I'm glad for everybody.

Love Is In The Air

Love is in the air.

Everything leads to next week.

To one of the most important days in a calender.

The day of love.

Roses.

Dinner.

Chocolates.

Presents.

It is the day we declare our love to our partners.

To let them know that we love them and to shower them with really over priced gifts from the heart (and pockets).

To let others know that we have a special someone to celebrate this beautiful day with.

To act like love sick puppies and not be stared with envy by the others.

For everyone is in love.

Yet we forget our friends who are not as fortunate to have someone.

They may seem pathetic to be alone but isn't Love suppose to be celebrated all the time.

Not just on one particular day.

Still in the end we stress about having no dates.

I usually start to remember all the crappy Valentines that I previously had.

And thank the big guy that I am not celebrating this year.

It's just too stressful.

It's really not painful to be alone I think.

Cause if we are alone on V-Day.

We must have been alone on other days too.

Besides we always have weekends to look forward to.

To be with people who really matter.

To be with love ones.

To be with love everyday.

Not just on Valentine's.

Intimidating

Two weeks ago I was told I was intimidating.

Am I?

It's really scary to think that I am intimidating.

I mean I am scaring potential new friends.

I still can't think of a concrete reason for me being intimidating.

He said I'm mentally intimidating.

Does that mean that I'm smart?

Too smart perhaps?

I doubt so.

My baby sister finally turned 18.

I know I havnt exactly been a very good host now that she is back.

But I don't know what to talk to her.

I only remember the little girl who used to terrorise her elder brother.

I don't know my sister.

Of course I feel somewhat sad.

But I don't know what to say to her.

I'm sure she doesn't know me either.

I feel that she is closer to our cousin.

Is it just me keeping a distance from everybody?

I'm actually afraid to really open up to anybody at all.

No one really knows me.

It's sad isn't it?

I miss my family.

But I really don't know how to open up to them.

Over time the gap is just so easy to maintain.

Me and my own dark garden.

Company

The job didn't follow through.

Its a tough time.

Just when I'm starting to be optimistic.

Plans don't follow through.

Feeling myself slipping into depression again.

Been talk to my boys.

It's really interesting.

Do people who have been hurt countless of times by their girlfriends or boyfriends really don't want to fall in love again?

They tell me they are not ready or they just don't want to be in a relationship.

Yet when we talk they always mention about their ex girlfriends.

If you mention them, then you must be thinking about them right?

Everything that happens always triggers a memory.

Be it good or bad.

You tend to remember the good times then your mind start to drift into the bad memories.

And you say to yourself, Fuck it.

I'm not ever going to make myself go through the pain again.

And yet someone comes along and your heart starts melting.

Yet after awhile when the initial lovey dovey stage starts to go into the comfort zone.

You tend to feel lazy and think that no, this is not going to work out.

And you tend to just try.

But your heart is not really there anymore.

You like the comfort.

You like the warm feeling have having someone.

But you have this little voice in your head saying things that throws you into a spiralling depths of paranoia.

Making you watch things alittle too close.

So close, just to spot all the mistakes.

Like an early warning to get out of the situation before you get really hurt.

Paranoia.

Heartache.

Or just plain afraid to take that leap of faith.

To trust someone else with your heart seems to be out of the question now.

Have we become so wary of others that we can't even trust ourselves to love again.

My boys have been hurt.

And they have hurt others too.

But nobody is perfect right?

Yet I can hear in their voice when they talk about the one they love and lost.

Though they have others to accompany them in the dark lonely nights.

Is it their way of not being alone at night.

Feeling the warmth and heartbeat of another person next to them.

That's all we ever wanted isn't it?

Having someone to go through life with.

The phobia of being alone and old, is really scary.

So is this all we ever need?

To never be alone?

To have someone to accompany you in life?

Or to have someone who takes care of you?

Someone to think of you?

Someone to love you?

Someone who means something to you.

Not just a passing tourist in your life.

It's all about connections.

We need that connection.

But where do we find it?

Can we really go through people and actually find someone that seems perfect enough to actually jump?

How many heartaches can you go through before you finally succumb to reality?

The reality of having only one person to trust.

Yourself.

But then again we don't always trust ourselves enough to actually believe in everything we choose, do we?

So who can we really trust?

Since our heart is just a sucker for love, romance, corniness and happily ever after.

Our mind gets fooled everytime our hearts says this could be the one.

Come on take the chance.

What is the worst that can happen.

And yet in the end your mind starts to see through the fog and realise that you have been walking in circles.

Someone please show me the path.

The shortcut.

I'm lost in my fog.

I'm starting to feel afraid.

New Job

3 fulltime jobs.

3 night jobs.

3 bad endings.

I really do know what I want to do now.

Psychology.

I really do hope that this next job that I'm considering really works out.

I know my mum won't be too happy that I'd be working in a bar again.

But its work.

It beats not having a job at all right?

My mum is trying to change and finally be more strict with me.

But the time is over to influence me.

I have been independent way too long for her to do this to me now.

I try not to disappoint her too much these days.

But this is what I can do.

I can't be too fussy now.

Hopes she understand.

It is hard to get a job now and if this is what it takes to get further in life.

This is what I will do now.

We are all getiing older.

I don't have time to waste anymore time.

Wish me luck.

My Boys

It is really amusing how when you are having tons of fun, time passes by so fast.

I had a blast the last week.

I mean I lost track of what day it was most of the time.

But it has been really fun.

Boys will always be boys.

They are so cute when they are single n trying to get use to having a girl around.

A girl friend that is sometimes like a boy.

One that they are weirdly comfortable to actually talk openly to.

My "single" always available boyfriends.

They really are good guys.

It is just a case of getting hurt then trying to have as much fun as possible.

Being hurt is a really bad position to be in.

I really do want them to find happiness.

They are all fun and full of cheekiness.

But in one I can actually see the worries.

He makes everyone else in the house feeling uneasy with him pacing around the house all the time.

Relax dude.

You are not that old.

Really.

I just love teasing you about it.

Hehe.

We shall hang out again soon.

Asking Directions

I know it seems like I have been behaving like a love sick puppy over the past few weeks.

And it's true I was madly in love.

But I guess now the magic has somewhat died alittle.

Isn't it expected.

And it's not like I don't love anymore.

It's more in the case of individuality.

As the new year starts and you lie alone at night.

Thinking what this year can bring you.

Will you be able to do what you didnt manage to last year.

Will you be strong enough to get through this year a winner.

I have been going around making people question what they will be doing with the rest of their lives.

Honestly it's not that I want to scare them.

But I want to know their plans so that maybe I can steal some ideas.

And maybe know exactly what I really want to do with my life.

I know roughly what I like.

But I want to know what is best and what is it that I am good at.

So I have a direction to follow.

It will be so much easier.

Don't you think?

A Promise Of Us

No more masks.

No more fear.

A new year.

A new heart.

A new soul.

A new love.

Words spoken.

Music to my heart.

Every beat is for love.

And just like a shadow it is never far.

Always there to remind you.

You are alive.

And it is real.

Hands held tight.

Held with love.

To let you know you will never be alone.

Promises of love.

A promise of trust.

A promise of us.

2007 - Dark Dreams

I found love.

In a form of dreams.

Conversations with a faceless stranger.

Everynight He awaits.

Waiting for my eyes to shut.

Waiting for me to enter the dark garden.

Where questions and answer have no place.

Your heart and mind being tested with every word said.

Some are just memories.

Some are of the future.

Words used so carefully thought of.

Words that can make you laugh and cry all at the same time.

You know there is a message there.

But you are so mesmerised by the garden.

The beauty of of the darkness.

Perfume of the black rose intoxicating your mind.

Confusing you.

Making you forget about the message.

And there you will still be.

Lost.

2007 - We Shall

A brand new year.

Finally the long dreadful 2006 has ended.

Last year was bad for a number of people I know.

Lost love ones.

Lost love.

Lost of jobs.

Lost of mind.

But we shall make things different this year.

A brand new year, a brand new start.

This will be the year for us all.

We shall be happier.

Stronger.

We shall...