inspired, emotional and drunk.
Japanese songs inspire me.
I type a whole load of crap when I'm really tired
(it's actually really entertaining to read back)
I can't wait for school to be over
I'm waiting for someone to contact me.
Why are the most seemingly easy n simple things in life so difficult?
why do I feel the way I do now?
I love the friends i have. and I finally have the chance to belong somewhere.
really be part of a real group.
do something full time.
i need that right?
i mean right?
and it's making me so happy.
i really am.
but i miss so many of the simple things.
you know.. you compromise the depth of friendship in order to obtain mass not to in-depth friendships.
I love but i wanna love more...
my sisters think i don't eat. which annoys me because i love food. i was so upset that i didn't eat my uncle's birthday chocolate cake! what the heck right?
sometimes i don't know what's running through my head.
my period is definately coming.
what is wrong with me.
i wanna have a hangover and feel so sick that all i wanna do it sleep.
i wanna fall ill good grief. what do i have to do to take a break?!??!!?!
there's so much i wanna do,
so much i wanna say,
someone i wanna say it all to.
is anybody out there?
i close my eyes,
and I'm in a place so comfotable,
I force myself from moving in fear I'll make a dent in the fragile walls of my imagination.
I cry a little but not enough for the tears to react to gravity.
i lean my head up and look at an imaginary sky.
Thinking of what I have to do.. work... school... problems i need to deal with...
suddenly i'm slumping in my chair,
waiting for another break.
staring at my bloody phone waiting for you message.
but it doesn't come.
it never comes.
maybe i'm accustomed to the disappointment
music gets me so emotional.
my soul is sad.
my heart doesn't comprehend,
how can i be so childish? expecting such.
walk home alone,
to the dead air, i sigh.
and wait for time to pass.
maybe i'll wake up to a better day.
so i close my eyes once again,
and travel slowly to my hiding place.
Note: I am currently under the influence of alcohol.
Spread the Love. 9:34 PM
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Monday, January 22, 2007
blow out the candles and make a wish
Yeup. I was so excited and happy last night that I blew out my candles before remembering I had a wish -.- wahahaha but it's probably because I had already gotten an amazing gift right there last night. Sorry I couldn't invite everyone.. it's not that I love you any less it's just the lack of accomodation (seriously, most of us sat on the floor). But yea. I slept at around 6:30 or 7am and woke up at 9:15. hahaha It's my birthday I'm not abour to spend it sleeping!! So now I'm in my living room drinking orang juice and eating the peas kenneth bought me and my cake from last night *grin* let the calories come! I'm TWENTY! A new phase of my life is about to begin.
Thanks everyone for all the PRESENTS! sorry I have to get all materialistic right now but this year tops it all. I've never gotten so many gifts in my entire life! This morning I woke up looking at them all and wondering to myself how I'm gonna use them ALL today. haha of course.. it's impossible unless I wanna walk around looking like a mobile mini-store then yea sure. haha. but I'm really grateful for everything. And all my gifts this year were useful beautiful and I LOVE them ALL!!! (their all mineeeeee miiiinnneee!!!!) Hahahaa wahhhhh I've got my whole day ahead of me and no real plans. fun Fun FUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wil posts the pictures soon! love you all!
*runs off
Spread the Love. 10:36 AM
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Tuesday, January 16, 2007
after twelve
There are a few things I know right now...
I don't like being alone, even if I choose to be,
I do like...... someone...
I'm not alone
Highlanders has awesome food,
Designing is difficult,
Team work can suck,
I love dancing
I'm very emotional when my period is coming,
I appreciate and love my friends so much,
I love dancing,
I'm terrible at turning,
I'm really really terrible at turning,
I love dancing,
I love singing,
I need to go to the toilet,
I like starbucks cafe's overpriced coffee,
I love dancing
Elsa kidspy is cool.
Leo papaspy is cool.
I love my spy family,
After Twelve rocks,
I like bitter dark chocolate,
I'm unhealthily addicted to green peas,
I'm in love with my new ninetndo ds lite
My nintendo ds lite needs a proper case/cover
I love dancing
my brain age is 46 years old,
I've got a class in half an hour,
My parents and sister and family + yolly loves me,
God is my God,
I love dancing,
NRA people are the kinda crazy I love,
I'm no fun when I'm angry
I love watching movies,
I love eating.
I love dancing
There are people in my life who will disapoint me and there are people in life whom I will disappoint (and i'm sorry belated and advance)
People change,
I love my daddy and mommy
I love dancing
I love
I've one more week of my teens left,
If i don't take a dump now the atrium's gonna stink...
:) just something random.
thanks for tuning in folks!!

-li'l dee
Spread the Love. 2:25 PM
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Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Just one. [WARNING: emo entry]
I was talking to a friend today and s/he reminded me of something I said once when I was really upset n out of it. I have no excuse for what I said and I was rash but I can't apologize for something I meant, even in that state. So I thought... how out of character that was of me and at first I felt pretty lousy for being so difficult and mean but is that how I'm going to remembered by? How bout all the other times? Don't they count?
Are we remembered by a single lousy moment?
I don't think I could live like that. I can't. I could talk myself into thinking I could but knowing that and being human would mean I'm gonna lose it once in awhile.
I wonder, am I really far away from the little insecure girl who kept complaining she had no friends?
Have I moved away from the violent, insolent, unpredictable, unreasonable, trouble lovin girl I saw myself as?
Have I changed at all?
Was I that bad?
I can't read my own face so I can't say for sure.
I, I, I, I... that's right... all I think about these days is myself.
I admit, it's selfish, it's loser...
but you know what...
while there are a number of people who I know will never dissapoint me...
I know I'll never let myself down.
I'm playing it safe. aren't we all?
Labels: under alot of pressure.
Spread the Love. 12:19 AM
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Tuesday, January 09, 2007
I've been tagged!
Ok i'm not very sure how this works so i'm just following Howard's template...
apparently I'm supposed to give you 5 things about me you might not know... hmm let's see.
1. I started doing gymnastics when I was 3 and was almost a national gymnast till I was 12 and found out I have weak ankles then I stopped exercising completely and got really fat.
2. I used to be in a punk-pop girl band called S.I.P which stands for Sweetness In Personification with my secondary school classmates Krystal, Alyzia and Charmaine. We had about ten odd originals. We played at our prom and did gigs at 'Blast at the Beach' and at third place (I can't remember what the gig was called)
3. My favourite ice-cream is Uzumaki's black sesame!
4. I'm... addicted to fried grean peas. (not the coated type)
5. I'll fill this up later. need to think...hahaha
I'll think of who to tag later too haha. my brain is on autopilot right now...
Spread the Love. 12:25 PM
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Tuesday, January 02, 2007
The Longest entry ever.
Recently I've not been in the habit of typing out how I feel,
but given the occasion, I think I could make an exception.
2006 has been amazing.
I've changed so much and I know it.
I've made so many friends... been so inspired by so many people,
I know I'm not gonna be able to type it all out tonight,
but I'll do my best. But for the record, if you're even reading this,
It means in some small and maybe even insignificant way, you care.
and for that I thank you. from the bottom of my heart. Ok. Let's start...
My family

Dad & Mom, I love and respect you both. I know it's been hell trying to raise three very different (and strong) minded girls, especially at this hormone crazy PMS peaking age and I wanna try to be a good daughter and do everything for you and as you wish but sometimes I have to do things my way and I hope you guys understand. I'm glad we're open in our relationship and I hope this year we get to talk even more and find out even more about each other. You both work so hard to keep this family together, so let's all go crazy Khoo's!
Astrid, this year come feb 22 we would have shared a bathroom for a whole year. Thank you for always keeping your side of the sink so spik n span. I'll try to keep the sink dry if you promise to remember to unlock my door! haha. But seriously, I wanna say thank you for baking with me, picking me up when I need and just being a good older sister. We've had our differences and hey we still do (sometimes when you laugh... really I'm clueless.. no really!) And yes i agree, Khoo syndrome is both very recognizable and indeed incurable. But hey you know I'm glad we're all down with it because if not we'd just be normal and that wouldn't be any fun now right?
Gracie roomie lumfri khoo, We parted as roomies this year and we've been through so much I don't know where to start. I joined your 'balcony gang' when we were staying at Godpa's place, we got into the worst cold war ever, we almost got drunk together (well we both got pretty high just in different places) you came with me to an event and even came to one of my gigs... I love you so much gracie khoo and I hope you know it.. no matter how many times we fight or argue I'm still your older sister and I'll always be here... be it 5am in the morning or if I'm on the other side of Singapore. You know i'd never tell your secrets and you know more than anything i trust and respect you. Please be good and don't grow up faster than me. (haha)
Indie Dolls...

you girls are amazing. I know it was tough at first given that we didn't all get along and we felt slightly neglected... but it all worked out and I love all of you. I can't wait for funkamania 2007! Indie dolls part 2? haha
My classmates...
Ok, I know I'm a pain in the ass sometimes and kind of a bit*h cuz I never hang around long enough for a whole meeting to take place. But I hope you know that I'm really thankful that you guys are so understanding and that I'm so appreciative that you guys don't give me the dagger eyes or anything in class.
West Grand Boulevard

Boys! Finally boys I can call my own (haha well.. kind of) I love you guys alot too.. .and you know, leaving the band was really really hard for me... I still miss jamming even tho I didn't really turn up the last few times and I was a bit of a pain when we had alot of shit to do about the album. But you know what, I'm glad we went through it all. And I'm proud to say that I was part of West Grand Boulevard and I know you boys are gonna be so freaking big. So please don't forget me when you guys are all famous and on tour ok. :) You have my undying love and support always.
Chen and Aznet,

Ma babes!! I really miss you both. Feel like I haven't seen you guys in yonks man. haha we should do girls night out again! Who's gonna with girl of the night this time? *runs off to start baking*
haha
My (third) Driving Test instructor
THANK YOU FOR PASSING ME!
Leo

Thank you for being so much to me. More than a mentor, more than a music director, more than a friend more than the best boss, more than a confidant. Thank you thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you've done for me this year.. I'm glad we finally got aquainted better and I'll drink to the many years to come!! :)
FM crew- Eric n Wendy
You both have taught me alot. Just talking to you guys and having you guys occasionally around is always great cuz I can learn so much. And also you guys are always a familiar face that I'm always so happy to see :) cuz it means i cant joke around with you! wahahha (esp eric.) thank you both... more jokes to come in 2007 ah!
Howard
Ok I don't have a picture of you... but thanks for always randomly hanging out with me and always educating me in some way or another about something that have no clue about. Our conversations always leave me thinking (it's a good thing don't worry) and for all the random songs you send me. I'm still stuck on 'paperweight'
Jeevan and Audrey,
thanks for making the "Now We Will" video happen... it was amazing working with you guys and the experience was crazy... it was totally uncomfortable but i'd do it all over again cuz you guys are a joy to work with :)
Grand Aunty Patsy and Nancy Jie,
Ok so you guys will never read this but thanks for always colouring my hair. I'd do it nowhere else. you guys are the best!! *grin*
Christopher Kong, Andrew the G and the whole IOD crew,
you guys are amazing and I couldn't have done jack without you all. Chris I'm so glad I had the chance to work with you and for you, you're amazing at what you do and you're an awesome person and I can't thank you enough for being so kind and understanding and being a friend :) remember The Will and Daph show ah!!! wahaha.
Andrew thanks for always making me feel so much more comfortable and not so judged. Can we please please meet up and hang out soon!?!??!?! haha
Kum Yanners
You guys always accept me, no matter how long i've been away, no matter how I come back you guys were the first few to show me what being loved really meant. What social acceptance really was and showed me some self worth... Pastor, 'Me', xiang, joel, ian, reggie, nicole, Jia Hao and so many more.. you guys are just a joy to see and I'm glad I have all of you to look up to and admire and to keep me on the right track. I really love you all so much and I hope in the new year we can spend more time hanging out and sharing and praying for each other :) Thanks for your prayers and support...
Yumi san!
For teaching me a little japanese and giving me tha japanese lang guide!
Caleb
for the short time i was able to make you happy, thanks for letting me :)
Janson
Thankd for always being a great listening ear, for making me believe moses lim was in braveheart and for always laughing at my jokes (even the non-funny ones)
Big Ann,
you've helped me live out dreams that i never thought I would get to experience. You're an engourager and an amazing mentor and I admire and respect you so much. You're a great teacher in both dance and life. Thank you for letting your actions speak louder than your words. :)
Wang Qin, Allegra and De Ling,



I love hanging out with you girls and I've got so much to say to you guys that I'll just wait till I next see you to say it. haha but for now.. I LOVE YOUUUUU!!! hee.
when are we gonna go eat laksa!!!!!!!!!!!!????!?!?!?! :)

ariel, von, mae, ling, becs, jolene, chien yen, shi min, steph, jj, su, nexa, yu xin,it's been an honour to be able to dance with you guys... I;m so happy to have met you all in NRA and thanks for your friendship and for all the times we've spent being crazy together, more crazy times this year yea!! woot! *dances around*
ter, alex, fred, glen, dou, ken
you guys are truely dancers i respect and love. thanks for your friendship as well and for being so much fun to hang out with. :)
thomas and xuan fong,
thanks for being great partners in danzation (and hype up) i trust you both with my life! haha
my SNAG (kenneth) and alfie,
thanks for being my two 'sidekicks' for the past few weeks (or days?) (haha) i really love hanging out with you both. shall we start this entourage this year? *nodds* i think so!!! let's partay!!
Sara Ann K, deb and (now) raymond,
my party animal friend. I love you! very very much! There's so many things i can say and do around you guys and still feel loved. thanks for just being you. haha more drinks and happy times in 2007!!
wah... ok it's like... 4 in the morning. i need to wake up in a couple of hours so I'm gonna wrap up right now but again let me say that 2006 has been amazing and in this coming year while there'll be more tears of pain and sorrow, more hearbreaks, more dissapointment, there will also be more tears of joy and laughter, more cheer and more hope. And so i'll toast to the year of Love and so much more.
much love
dee.
Spread the Love. 2:40 AM
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Deeadora Love
