dear music

it has been so many months since i last wrote an entry here. wondering if there's anyone else still reading my blog besides myself. yesterday was my birthday, 30 years on earth, i guess that's a milestone isn't it? many major decisions took place within that 20-30 years old 10-years range -- marriage, buying an apartment, career switch, childbearing. the next 10 years could see deaths happening, probably, of friends of loved ones. thats scary though inevitable. as my body ages, i wonder if i could ever outlive it with a soul, aligned with the highest self and source energy, to realise the body is just this soul with a temporary form.

almost 2 weeks ago, doc said that xiaobaby's head has already engaged, i.e. descended into the pelvic area, so may be out within a week or 2. that time hubby was also going for his 9days reservist too, ending on 18nov. so i went over to my ma's place to stay, trying not to move too much, and told xiaobaby to wait for papa to finish his camp. what i did was eat, read, watch tv and make cushion and doll for xiaobaby while at ma's place. most of the time on the sofa, bed or at the sewing machine. and true enough, xiaobaby did not move as much as before.
hubby finished his camp, but kena throat infection and passed it on to me, so we both gotta see the doctor and get antibiotics. hoped to recover as quickly as possible before xiaobaby arrives. i recovered faster than hubby, who is still having a little cough now. but xiaobaby is still not out yet. she may be waiting for papa to recover fully, or may be waiting for A levels to finish (or her bday will be during exams), or waiting for mama to be prepared. EDD is on 2 Dec. my ma guessed 25 nov and 8 dec. hubby guessed 26 nov. sis guessed 30 nov. i hope 28 nov cos Cheer Chen having her Gaoxiong concert on this night :) anyhow, if baby's overdue, we gotta choose a date to induce liao. probably 6 dec if wanna coincide with sis's wedding.
during this period of waiting for the big day, have read finished and compiled Baby Whisperer's books, Diane Arbus's Revelations, Dr Wayne's The Power of Intention, and started on Cultural History of Photography, big books which i did not have time to read. also watched 5 dvds in 2 days. had completed my long list of to-dos (to be done before xiaobaby's out), and now with extra time on hand, really find it a luxury. i was rather prepared for xiaobaby's arrival, but also a little holding back. maybe xiaobaby sensed mama not really ready. anyhow baby is still moving strong inside my utero. she will be a strong baby.

it's kicking in -- the nesting instinct. hubby and i have been cleaning up the house, wiping tables and shelves, washing curtains and toys, unpacking and packing, decorating, settling furniture arrangement, mending non-working appliances/equipment, clearing out unwanted stuff to deposit at salvation army... ahh... and this hot weather is making me perspire even at home with fan on.
baby is getting stronger now, can see tummy rising and falling with each shift. getting nervous abt the big day. dunno if i can bear the long hours of pain, must think of myself as an animal, with no other pain relief choice but to just do it, keke.
having a bit of the mood swings too, hubby said i seemed glum recently, must be due to the to-do lists, and haven thought of the chinese name for baby. looking fwd to the day i can just rest at home with no other chores, making dolls for baby, painting, reading up photography and childbirth books and watching dvds until the big day is here.
find that im happier when im alone, having some quiet time, touching and observing my tummy. it's like my chill-out time before the house will be in chaos. thk i'm the sort who'll need chill-out time aft the baby is born, else i'll go crazy and irritable.

reflecting on this yr, i've passed driving test, took up a faith aft discovering Dr Wayne W Dyre's inspirational book, attended Cheer's concert, studied and passed German language exam with a cert, assisted a foreign photographer with large-format camera, shot for studio wedding portfolio, updated my photo business website, hubby bought a car to drive me ard, held a good photo exhibition, and the biggest bless -- got pregnant and going to deliver soon. thk it has been a good year for me. thank you for everything.

a street-style photo-blogger, documents the real pple's fashion sense on the streets of london, tokyo and beyond.

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15.08.09