Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Chinese New Year 2013

" Happy Chinese New Year!", "Gong Xi Fa Chai!", these are the words that you will get during the Chinese New Year period. I love this time of the year, because I get to meet up with my friends, relatives and especially my family. It meant alot to me, as I'm current doing my bachelor degree overseas, Singapore to be exact. My university timetable does not follow the normal school holidays, so it will be a luxury for me if the CNY falls on either start or end of the week, then I can enjoy the festive period without worrying about school.

Thank God I was able to go home for reunion dinner and celebrate CNY with my family for the past few years. Unfortunately I wasn't able to go home this year, wasn't able to book a ticket, coach, train and air, partly due to my timetable wasn't fix, but mainly due to I wasn't able to skip class as attendance will be taken and will affect my continuous assessment. My friend did offered me a ride home, but I turned him down, and was kinda regret. Oh well...

It was not easy to spend CNY alone, as most of my friends went home and whoever left are foreigners, which I'm not familiar with. I will get emotional sometimes, when I'm thinking about my family, especially my parents. So, I try to distract myself by playing music, and I came across Skillet, a famous rock band, which happens to be a christian rock band as well! I love their songs very much, as I'm a rock fan and I'm a christian, so it's like a crazy mix between awesomeness and holiness!

Anyway, feeling lonely is inevitable, so the solution to it is find something you like to do, and focus on it, and always remember that we are not alone, because God is always with us no matter where we are :)

Test

Test, by definition, a procedure intended to establish the quality, performance, or reliability of something, esp. before it is taken into widespread use.

In our lives, we constantly facing tests, from our education system, our society, our family, our friends, our boss, and the most importantly, our God. For now, I'm currently facing tests from education system which is mostly academic based, and seems to have nothing to do with my life. The only reason why I'm doing my bachelor now, is to gain knowledge and prepare myself when I'm joining the workforce 2 years from now. But it just seems that I do not gain anything out of it, maybe it's just me of not being able to get interested in it, or there's any other unknown reasons.

Another test I'm facing now, is a test from God. I'm concern about the test from God more than my exams, because it is the test of my spiritual life, my daily devotion, and ultimately my faith in God. "Live by faith not by sight." this verse can be seen everywhere, by how often do we practice it? I asked myself, and my conclusion is, I'm a faithless person. Even though I pray to God everyday, but I did not put in faith when I'm praying. This is a major stumbling block in my spiritual life. So what is faith? Hebrews 11:6 states, "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."

May all of us live by faith and not by sight, always remember God's love for us, that he gave his one and only son Jesus, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

May Holidays

Finally holidays started, well it started after my exams were finished, end of April I think. Everything went by fast and shocking, thinking back that around last year April I was still busy preparing for my college graduation, and here I'm about to start my 2nd year of my bachelor studies. Time flies huh, lots of things come and go, makes me wonders what should I write this time. Well I went for competition early this year, lost touch with most of it now, oh and studies, didn't really do well this time round, managed to pass all subjects luckily. Back to my old self again I guess, was thinking about hitting the clubs, but well couldn't make up my mind which one I should go, so decided to stay at home, but the boredom is really killing me soon.

I thought up of some stuffs that I should accomplish by the end of this holiday, first thing is find myself a holiday job, well managed to secure one, but still don't know when can I really start to work as they haven't call me. Next is learning something new like arts and music, maybe watch some videos related to arts, recently just found a good movie, it's about Vincent van Gogh. This guy is really amazing, regardless of what people thinks about him, his arts are amazing, attracting your attention with those astounding colours, well I'm not sure that I'm using the correct word, but yeah his paintings are really something. I think his madness was caused by his loneliness, lack of love and attention from families and friends, and his lack of ability to express his feelings to others. I don't really think that he is mad, and I can somehow understands that his actions were due to extreme frustration and desperation, for example, he cut his own ear after an extreme argument with his friend that he admired deeply. Of course I won't cut my own ears, but when you are in such a situation, and he was your only friend that you respect so much, a sane man will be probably do something similar to his, and at his time there weren't any mobile phones and Internet and Facebook, only writing letters, so basically he can't rant to anybody, not like us, maybe we still can post something on Facebook wall. The part that Vincent fell in love with his cousin was abit disturbing, because it's incest, about to become. Then, he fell in love with a pregnant woman that was older than him and also a prostitute. I really admire his compassion for the woman, he was so daring and willing to give her whatever he can, without bothering what others may think of him. Well the movie said that only his brother Theo understands him, but I think Theo doesn't. If Theo really understands him, I don't think that Vincent will commit suicide, as Theo will be helping him before he had to go through all those madness. If Vincent was to be born in this era, 21st century, he won't commit suicide I guess, with so many organizations out there waiting to help him, and maybe even sponsoring him and guiding him. But then again, the reason why he is so famous now is because of his paintings, that was the result of his madness.

I can't think of what I should do, I don't really want to go back my home town, personal reasons and so on. I met a girl, friend of friend, not bad looking, but kinda complicated for the time being, try to sort this out and give it some time. I don't know where this will go, it's like a lost kite in the sky? Sounds serious, anyway whatever will be, will be. God will handle the rest. Haven't been attending church though, been a year plus since I stepped into a church. I wonder why... hope everything is fine. God bless, Amen.  

Christmas

It's Christmas! Everyone enjoyed and celebrated the once a year Christmas, so did I, with my sister's family. It was really good that I can celebrate this special day with those that are important to me, of course the wonderful dinner! Christmas is an important day not just for Christians but for everyone in the world, to get together and had a great time at the table. Well, Christmas is also a good time to reflect what had you accomplished in life, the mistakes, and also new year resolutions.

I look back my life, it was; it is; and it will be wonderful and awesome. I also realised that I'm still not good in dealing relationships. Friends seek me for advices and I always will help them, and I found out that it's easier to say than done. I told my friends that relationships need patience and time, yet I lost my patience so easy that it is pathetic. It takes alot of courage to confess but also alot of patience to wait for the other to response. My friend once told me that, either I find the one that can take in my temper, or I change my temper.

I'm single throughout the year, it's funny how the time passes so fast yet I still didn't feel anything. New year is coming, I just hope that I can find that someone and just stay with that one as long as I can. God bless.

Father and Mother

After reading back my posts, I decided to write something about my parents. My parents both are orphans, my dad grew up in a poor family, my mom is much more fortunate, she grew up in a rather wealthy family. Since young, my dad always need to help out my grandma, to sell candies, he hardly have any time to study, but somehow he still managed to do learn quite alot of things ( my dad's awesome!). Though he quit school at an early age, I'm not sure when, he came out and started working. Because of his determination, he managed to learn alot of skills from books, like mechanics, electrical works, water works, carpentry, metal works and etc. I also respect my dad, he is really awesome, even though I'm in university now, I still thinks that my dad is better than me, his knowledge compared to what I learnt since primary until now, I'm still just not enough. Though he is not highly educated( my grandma was uneducated and poor), he still able to learn so many things, and able to feed us and give us a heart-warming family. I love my dad, he is totally awesome, I respect every single decision he made, and most of all, he is the father that I give my highest respect to.

My mom, she finished her secondary education, she was offered a place in Taiwan University, but due to some odd reasons, she had no choice but to turn it down. She is a loving mother, a strict teacher, and an awesome cook. I miss her cooking. When I was young, I didn't understand why she's being so strict to me, always forcing me to do lots of homework, go to lots of tuition. When I was 15, secondary 3 I think, I was going to take an important exam, PMR, at first I didn't care about the exam, I upset my parents, they got really disappointed in me, but I still don't really care about it. But then, one day, I was gaming, then I started to think of my parents, like how hard they work just to give me proper education, and thinking of how much effort they put into it, and my carefree attitude about it, I started crying. From then on, I made a promise to myself, I will study very hard, not to impress anyone, but so that I can change my parents' life. So that they can have an easy life when they retired.

Now, I'm here, doing my 4 years degree, and thinking back my goal, I need to thank my parents, because of them, I made it this far, I finally can fulfill my promise to myself with another 4 years. Without God's grace, I can't made it here, His guidance lights the path that I'm taking, leading me to His destiny.

Quiz and exams

Just finished my quiz today, and I messed up the quiz. Anyway, exams are coming, so I should be worrying about the exams rather than crying over my quiz, though I could have studied harder for my quiz.

There's always this thing, that I keep on wondering how should I handle it, and voila it is the relationship. I failed lots of time, if there's an exam for it, I could have retained for many years. A lot of people says that relationship is easy if you know how to handle it, but I guess the theory is wrong, because even if you know how to handle your relationship, it's just your part, there's another part, which is her part.

Relationship is always complicating, since the start of the first date, to courtship, to marriage, to family, and to death. How I wish it will be as easy as studying biology, if you understand the concept, for example PCR, you can use that concept anywhere, but it is totally different from relationship. You understand your current "situation" doesn't mean that you will understand the next one.

It is hard, really hard, if you are going to find the one that is going to spend her whole life with you, yea that is going to be hard. It is easy to just find any random girl to be your girl friend, but 90% of the time, you will just have fun and move on. That happened to me lots of time, I get the girl, after awhile, things changed, breakup, and move on, and get another girl.

I stopped behaving like that, I hope. I changed my view, what I truly wanted. Girls like bad boys, yea that's true, but at the end of the day, you are still a boy, and that girl is just another typical girl. Good guys are not easy to be, but the reason we are being good, is because we understand what we want, and hopefully she has the same mindset, and wanting the same thing.

I'm drunk anyway, just finished gathering with my friends. I met this girl, she's being nice, I know. I guess I like her, just hope that everything goes well, and I really hope that we can have something special between us.