Christmas

It's Christmas! Everyone enjoyed and celebrated the once a year Christmas, so did I, with my sister's family. It was really good that I can celebrate this special day with those that are important to me, of course the wonderful dinner! Christmas is an important day not just for Christians but for everyone in the world, to get together and had a great time at the table. Well, Christmas is also a good time to reflect what had you accomplished in life, the mistakes, and also new year resolutions.

I look back my life, it was; it is; and it will be wonderful and awesome. I also realised that I'm still not good in dealing relationships. Friends seek me for advices and I always will help them, and I found out that it's easier to say than done. I told my friends that relationships need patience and time, yet I lost my patience so easy that it is pathetic. It takes alot of courage to confess but also alot of patience to wait for the other to response. My friend once told me that, either I find the one that can take in my temper, or I change my temper.

I'm single throughout the year, it's funny how the time passes so fast yet I still didn't feel anything. New year is coming, I just hope that I can find that someone and just stay with that one as long as I can. God bless.

Father and Mother

After reading back my posts, I decided to write something about my parents. My parents both are orphans, my dad grew up in a poor family, my mom is much more fortunate, she grew up in a rather wealthy family. Since young, my dad always need to help out my grandma, to sell candies, he hardly have any time to study, but somehow he still managed to do learn quite alot of things ( my dad's awesome!). Though he quit school at an early age, I'm not sure when, he came out and started working. Because of his determination, he managed to learn alot of skills from books, like mechanics, electrical works, water works, carpentry, metal works and etc. I also respect my dad, he is really awesome, even though I'm in university now, I still thinks that my dad is better than me, his knowledge compared to what I learnt since primary until now, I'm still just not enough. Though he is not highly educated( my grandma was uneducated and poor), he still able to learn so many things, and able to feed us and give us a heart-warming family. I love my dad, he is totally awesome, I respect every single decision he made, and most of all, he is the father that I give my highest respect to.

My mom, she finished her secondary education, she was offered a place in Taiwan University, but due to some odd reasons, she had no choice but to turn it down. She is a loving mother, a strict teacher, and an awesome cook. I miss her cooking. When I was young, I didn't understand why she's being so strict to me, always forcing me to do lots of homework, go to lots of tuition. When I was 15, secondary 3 I think, I was going to take an important exam, PMR, at first I didn't care about the exam, I upset my parents, they got really disappointed in me, but I still don't really care about it. But then, one day, I was gaming, then I started to think of my parents, like how hard they work just to give me proper education, and thinking of how much effort they put into it, and my carefree attitude about it, I started crying. From then on, I made a promise to myself, I will study very hard, not to impress anyone, but so that I can change my parents' life. So that they can have an easy life when they retired.

Now, I'm here, doing my 4 years degree, and thinking back my goal, I need to thank my parents, because of them, I made it this far, I finally can fulfill my promise to myself with another 4 years. Without God's grace, I can't made it here, His guidance lights the path that I'm taking, leading me to His destiny.

Quiz and exams

Just finished my quiz today, and I messed up the quiz. Anyway, exams are coming, so I should be worrying about the exams rather than crying over my quiz, though I could have studied harder for my quiz.

There's always this thing, that I keep on wondering how should I handle it, and voila it is the relationship. I failed lots of time, if there's an exam for it, I could have retained for many years. A lot of people says that relationship is easy if you know how to handle it, but I guess the theory is wrong, because even if you know how to handle your relationship, it's just your part, there's another part, which is her part.

Relationship is always complicating, since the start of the first date, to courtship, to marriage, to family, and to death. How I wish it will be as easy as studying biology, if you understand the concept, for example PCR, you can use that concept anywhere, but it is totally different from relationship. You understand your current "situation" doesn't mean that you will understand the next one.

It is hard, really hard, if you are going to find the one that is going to spend her whole life with you, yea that is going to be hard. It is easy to just find any random girl to be your girl friend, but 90% of the time, you will just have fun and move on. That happened to me lots of time, I get the girl, after awhile, things changed, breakup, and move on, and get another girl.

I stopped behaving like that, I hope. I changed my view, what I truly wanted. Girls like bad boys, yea that's true, but at the end of the day, you are still a boy, and that girl is just another typical girl. Good guys are not easy to be, but the reason we are being good, is because we understand what we want, and hopefully she has the same mindset, and wanting the same thing.

I'm drunk anyway, just finished gathering with my friends. I met this girl, she's being nice, I know. I guess I like her, just hope that everything goes well, and I really hope that we can have something special between us.

Just want to post this, a really nice song, Here Without You by 3 Doors Down. 


I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me, yeah


I think the meaning of the lyrics is about missing your love ones, not too sure, not an expert in interpreting lyrics.

But still an amazing song. I'm not sure what I will do now, but surely God will lead the way.

Life In Singapore 2011

It's been so long since I post something on this blog, been really busy with studies, sports and stuffs. Thinking back the first year, in Ngee Ann Poly, everything seems to pass by so fast, that I realised that I had missed out alot of things, made a lot of right and wrong choices. I can't really say that stay in Biomedical Sciences is a good choice or went into Biomedical Lab Technology is a wrong choice, both gave me different experience, and different exposure of life. If I had stay in BMS, then I will missed out some important lessons, and lead a different kind of life than what I'm having now, though I really want to stay in BMS if I had a second chance, but I feel content with what I have now.

I remembered a friend of mine told me this, we are humans and we will make mistakes whether we like it or not. But there are some mistakes that we can avoid and there are some mistakes that are irreversible.But if really we made such mistakes, take it as a lesson of life, and move on and never ever repeat the mistake again.

When he told me this, I was like, who will ever make such serious mistakes, and soon enough I realized that I made a really big mistake that nearly destroy myself and my future. You won't know until you did it, and the truth is always painful, but that's when we start to grow,mentally and emotionally.

God really help me to get through this entire situation. I may suffered more if I didn't listen to God, I may not even finish my studies. No matter how many times I fail, God will always be there to lift me up again. Live by faith and not by sight. God will always be with us.

Because You Loved Me

This song reminds me of you, you were my strength when I was weak, you were my voices when I couldn't speak, you were my eyes when I couldn't see, you were the one that held me up and never let me fall, you gave me faith because you believed, I'm everything I am now, because you loved me.

Club

I had a great holiday back in Malaysia, and I'm glad that my family is still doing well. My parents looked more energetic than before, my brother learnt tattooing, kinda cool when I looked at his tattooes, he's cool anyway. Visited my sister back in KL and looks like her slimming plan works well, nephews were so active that I can't handle them at all, after that went back to my hometown for another couple of weeks and took a flight back to Singapore.

I was dead tired after landing, head back to my apartment straight  away and hit the sack. Then I went out to meet my friend, after we had dinner we went to drink. It's been like almost half a year since I drink, was really busy back then, and now I finally got time to go for a drink. The club was as crowded as ever. We hop around the clubs and met this weird guy starting to talk to us and I met someone from my hometown too, suprising. Well we had fun that night, at least I get to have fun for awhile cause I'm looking for a job now, hope I'll get one soon. Well everything starts from scratch, and since I'm a fresh graduate, wasn't really expecting any high salary, as long as can cover my expenses that's enough, I think. Wondering how long can I last if I ever get a job... well anyways God has His plans, I believe I'll get one that really suits me.

NAPFA and Blood Donation

I had Napfa test on last Thursday, was very nervous and excited. I managed to complete the 5 stations, pull-up, sit-up, standing board jump, shuttle run, sit-and-reach, and managed to get 23 points for gold. But the last station, which I hated the most, 2.4km running. I'm not a regular runner, and I didn't train much for it. So I probably won't be able to finish within 11mins, which is grade C to achieve gold. But anyway, my aim is to get Napfa jacket, which looks nice to me, and I finished 2.4 km within 12mins, grade D which the overall grade is silver. I actually didn't train much for Napfa, especially standing board jump and 2.4km running, but I know that there's certain someone will help me through.

I was thrown with alot of thoughts during my 2.4km running, and I had a cramp during the last lap. There are thoughts that asked me to give up, but there are thoughts that encouraged me to press on and move forward. The thoughts the devil gave me are filled with fear, but when the thoughts of God came into my mind, they're peaceful, and He asked me to endure, just a little longer, then I will get my reward. So, instead of stopping down, I sprinted and crossed the finishing line. After that, I fall on the ground, and gasping for air, but I know that I had achieved my goal, even though I never get a gold and get silver instead, but that doesn't matter, because all I want is just that jacket.

After Napfa, I went to donate blood, which I promised myself that I will do it after Napfa. I had this newbie nurse to do for me, I noticed that she was very nervous, because her was hand shivering when she was holding the needle. But I tried to calm her down, and keep smiling. She inserted the needle into my arm, and I guessed she missed the vein, and pierced my muscle. It was painful at first, but after that it felt like my arm was burning. She was panic, and luckily the head nurse was there, she adjusted the needle and hit the vein, then my blood started to flow out into the bag.

Well, of course that was very painful, even now I still can feel the stinging pain when I pressed my bicep. But the most important thing is, she learnt something from it. Nobody is perfect, everyone starts from scratch, so there is no point to blame her for poor techniques or anything. I just hope that she is able to improve after that :D

God bless

16 Jan 2011 Masks

I woke up late this morning, but still able to reach the church before the pastor starts the sermon. I brought a friend with me to the church, and he likes the church. I'm very glad about it, because he is finally going 'home', going back to God. Today's sermon was about hypocrisy, and as the pastor was explaining what is hypocrisy, he mentioned that christian hypocrisy was the main reason why there's atheism. I was shocked at first, but when I think about it, its quite true, because when we declared ourselves as christians, our actions and speeches reflected God, that's the reason why Jesus dislike hypocrites so much, the Pharisees. Indeed, the Pharisees always talk about being clean and pure, and urge the public to be clean and pure while they themselves are unable to practice what they preach.

In Luke 11:37-52, it talks about what is hypocrisy, and the first to be mentioned is Outward Purity. It is not what you eat makes you unclean but it is what you say that makes you unclean. If you only cares about outward purity, but inside you are full of filth, lust, greed, hatred, do you still consider yourself as clean? What makes a man clean is what is inside him.

Meticulous Giving, sometimes we are so particular about how much we give, what we give, and forget about the meaning behind it. in Luke 11, we give not because of praise, we give because of our love and faith to God. Giving is important but we do not force others to give while we are unable to give, if we do so we are hypocrites.

Self Importance, in Luke 11:43,"Woe to you Pharisees, because you love the most important seats in the synagogues and greetings in the market places." As we know that Pharisees were known to have high social status in the society, and they enjoyed themselves being praised, being greeted, being well treated, by the society, while they are not helping the society. "For whoever exalts himself will be humbled and whoever humbles himself will be exalted." Matthew 23:12 Yes, we maybe rich, we maybe clever, we maybe some big shots in the society, but we have to be humble, and not to condemn others, but to spur others up, and help others to achieve what we are able to achieve, not just make fun of them, and feel proud of yourself.

Religious Piety, in v46, the Pharisees were angry at Jesus because of what he said to them, and they thought that Jesus was insulting them, because they think that what they're doing, being hypocrites is correct, they are the experts of Law, but they're not allow to follow the Law and expect the people to follow them, which giving them a heaven burden. Like I mentioned above, do not expect others to do the same if you yourself are unable to do it, and even if you're able to do it, be humble, and help others to fulfill it too.

Hypocrites, to tell the truth, I will be hypocritical sometime, I have to remind myself not to be a hypocrite.

Solomon Kane

I watched Solomon Kane last night, interesting movie, and I learnt something from the movie. Well let me briefly explains what this movie is about.

Solomon Kane, a brutal and cruel, blood lusting and fill with greed, that had conquered a lot of cities, and was the son of a feudal lord. He kills without feeling remorse, and to him, he felt that battlefield is home. In a battle in North Africa, he slaughtered all the pagans, and raided the throne room. But when he was enjoying his victory, his companions were killed by demons, and a devil messenger appeared, and wanted to claim his soul, because his father sold his soul to the devil in exchange with his brother's soul. He escaped from the messenger that was about to behead him, and he found sanctuary in a church.

But after a year, the pastor wanted him to leave the place, to search for his own purposes, of what God wants him to do, or what God wants him to learn. He said this:" these symbols, this church, these prayers keep me from the devil's nightmare, this place is a sanctuary to me."
God protects you not only in the church, God protects you wherever you go, no matter where. When he was crucified on the cross by the possessed, his nail wounds were recovered without a trace of scars, because when he was in agony and screamed for God's mercy, and God helped him. Even when he's in the battle, he wasn't really wounded despite being surrounded by a large number of  possessed.

When he was in despair, God showed him hope, when he was on the cross, he lost all hope of saving the girl that will redeem himself. But at that moment, that girl appeared in the cart when the possessed transporting her to the castle. When you're in despair, God will give you hope. And also, he had killed so many, but God only asked him to save one girl, to redeem himself. God is a Just and merciful God, He will punish you, and He will forgive you when you learn your lesson.

Solomon Kane doesn't have any faith in God, but through his journey, he learnt to be faithful, he learnt to be a peaceful man, he learnt to be not to condemn people, and he always put God's work at first, that is save that girl. Even though the enemy is strong, but he stands in faith, and with God's strength, he overcomes the enemy, and gained victory.

Sunday Sermon 2 Jan 2011

2nd Service of the year 2011, this year starts out in an unusual way for me, I made a covenant with God, which is something special to me, and deepens the relationship between me and God. I attended my first services in the Nightwatch Service, and that service was meaningful, and interesting. Well I never thought that I will celebrate a New Year in church, but I'm glad I did, and it was really unexpected and surprising. The sermon talked about revelation 2:1-7, which is asking us to love and do not give up loving, because God is love and because He loves us, and we are loved, and we loves.

2nd service of the year, Imitating Christ, which teaches us how to be more Christ like. Well this service is really special to me as I was reading Gospel of John and 1John, and during the service, the verses from these books came out, and I was amazed by God, how He brings me to the church through different ways, as I was praying about this. On the bus to the church I was reading Gospel of John, and everytime I read the front part of the gospel, I'm always amazed and touched by how the Word came to life and flesh, and brings grace and truth to this world, though everything was created through Him, but they don't recognize him, and those who believed in Him will be known as the children of God.

Imitating Christ: Compassion, Humility, Restedness, Intimacy, Steadfastness and Thankfulness. Each of this talks about how to be more Christ like. Compassion, Jesus was filled with compassion when he saw the crowd. He never stop saving people, he never stop preaching about the love of God, and he never stop forgiving sinners. We too have to fill with compassion, to help those who are in need, and always welcome others to the church with open arms.

Humility, is a contrast to pride. Its not easy to be humble, especially when you're in victory, but remember, when we're victorious, remember that it is God's victory, we have to glorify God, not ourselves. Pride, like pharisees, they're so full of themselves, acting holy because they understand the Law, but they only care about the offerings, which is for God, but they took it as theirs, and enjoying it while God's people are suffering. In this era, alot of people has better education and knowledge than their parents, and able to achieve those that their parents are not able to, and they feel proud of themselves and did not honour their parents. Do remember that your success today, was not just depending on your own abilities and efforts, but also supports from family, especially parents.

Restedness, means to rest in peace. How to rest in peace when there are so many things around you that yet to be completed? "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

Just like Jesus slept in the boat in the middle of furious squall, because he trusted that God his father protects him no matter when, no matter where, and he was able to rest peacefully. How we can rest peacefully? By putting your trust in the Almighty God, and have faith in Him that He is able to do more than what you can imagine.

Intimacy, Jesus described him as the vine, and we're the branches, and God the Father as the gardener. We as branches, only able to bear fruits when we're attached to the Vine, which is Jesus. This means that, we have to let Jesus come into our life, let him take control of it, dethrone ourselves, and enthrone Jesus in our heart. If we are separated from Jesus, we will whithered, and God the Gardener will discard those dried branches, throw them into fire. But we are not normal branches that if we're separated then we won't be able to join back, to Jesus, we're always welcome to join back with Him, the Vine, and receive blessings from him.
This intimacy, is important, its not just for family and friends or relationships, but towards God.

Steadfastness, Jesus know his goal, what his purpose in this world, that is, to go to Jerusalem and crucify himself on the cross, a sinless being become sinful, for the sake of redeem us, and make us righteous in front of Father,Almighty God. There maybe times that we face challenges and have to make difficult decisions, but we have to focus on what is our purposes, and fulfill our purposes. Its not an easy task, and it was never easy in the first place, we will constantly face challenges from Satan, and temptations, but we have to know that, we have to right to wear God's Armor, Truth, Faith, Peace, Salvation, Righteousness, and the Word of God. Do not falter, because we have the Almighty God, the strongest of the strongest, to be our protector.

Thankfulness, Jesus gave thanks to Father for the 5 loaves of bread and 2 fishes, and feed his people. Jesus constantly give thanks to Father, and we as the children of God, should give thanks to Father, although we may lost something important in our life, but remember this, God is a good God, and He always will restore us doubly of what we had lost, and we have to learn from Job and Issac, though they lost important things, and was forcefully taken away from them, but no matter how much people takes away from them, and its usually the Devil that took them away, but God is a good God, and He will always, give us doubly of what we lost. If animals know to feed their off-springs with good food, what's more our God, the everlasting God, just,loving and merciful, that send His one and only son to die for us, just to redeem our lives.

I'm just a normal christian, but if I as a normal christian able to experience God's love and blessings, I know you who loves God, and constantly searching for God, will too be blessed, and blessed even more than what you have. If we are what we deserve, we deserve Hell, we deserve condemnation, we deserve death, because we are sinners, and the only punishment is death, spiritual death. But God's love is beyond anything, I really can't imagine what I will be for these 3 years if God doesn't loves me. If you ever think of God doesn't loves you, please think it again. When things do not go as you wish, there's a reason behind it, and God knows it, because if God lets you have it, you surely going to fall. God rather let you hates Him, than seeing you fall into temptations and guilts and torments. GOD IS A GOOD GOD, and Devil is a BAD DEVIL.

God bless :)