Wednesday, September 28, 2005
oh my god...
she died this morning...
she wasn't supposed to go this soon.....
oh my god oh my god oh my god
why?!?!? i just saw her on monday!!! omg why?? why!!!!! why now?... she was supposed to hold on for a while yet....
early this morning get a call..
she died.. in her sleep... few minutes before the call..
i cried for hours and hours
i miss her so so so much.. mum said she waited to see us then she died.. i was the last one in my family to hug her.... i miss her so much.... i'm the only greatgrandchild who really knew her.. the rest are all too young... they will never taste her cooking or have her take care of them.. she took care of me when i had high fever..
she's lying in a casket just downstairs... in the void-deck of my grand aunt's flat... on her coffin there's a plaque:
Mdm Chan Eng Neo
Departed 28/9/05
Aged 100 years
She's a 100! and i'm 16! thats why it's so special....
they used my the picture, the one with her and me in it for the funeral.. i remember that picture... but she didn't have to go... not now...
i still went to school.... its what she would have wanted.. even when my great grand dad died she still expected my mum to go to school... thats why i went...every spare moment i have to think, my mind drifts back to her... and i just cry... i miss her so much.. she was the only one my mum has.. and now she's gone..we were all planning to visit every week but she didn't even make it one more week...
cho cho... i love you.. and i want you to know i miss you... so so much... you're the only one that mattered to me... and i know you'd want me to go on.. but now its just so hard..
5:00 PM
_____une fille, une etudiante et une amie
Monday, September 26, 2005
why is this happening?
why have so many been taken away from me...
she's dying,
she's dying
and there's nothing anyone can do about it
its going to be so hard... but why must it be this way? its a very special year for us... and she has to go... its only a matter of time.. how am i going to cope? school, obligations, the grief.... seeing her, i can't stop crying.. and this is only the first stage... what will it be when it comes to the end...
you,
i'm glad i gave you up.. but i can't let you go.. i suppose what they say is true.. that you're another's... but i can't ignore all that u have been doing.. if i thought you capable of it i would say you were trying to make me jealous..trying to see my reaction... but i don't think your mind works that way...
why so many taken? why now? but she means more to me then you do.. so i shall give you up... its too bad.. you never made your move.. someone is dying and i will never see her again..
I will miss you always.. you look so thin and wasted away.. its painful to watch... i .... i just wish...
6:47 PM
_____une fille, une etudiante et une amie
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
lol dug up this old pic from sumwhere on the net.. pri sch prefect camp photo... can't believe it still exists!! haha try and find me.. i'm wearing a tee with 2 bears on it ^^ i look damn diff.. but tt was onli camera angle haha.. yeah actually i don't look very diff from when i was young..
argh i gotta go study for gambling test >.< dun wan... and hmwk now
sigh
wanna die..
bang bang jang jang
hahaha yeah today was funny... lol ur such a LOUD crusher.. haha like everyone noes u like him :P heeheeheee gd luck tho.. XP
dribble dribble 1 2 jump! =D
10:33 PM
_____une fille, une etudiante et une amie
Thursday, September 15, 2005
16!! and it is way cool haha thx to all those who rmbred... lol and all the lovely prezzies.. ^^ thx CHRIS ( haha maucks! <3) and SHEEN ( happy 16th darling!) and justin and jim and fish ( haha s'pore river ^^) and jas and asra and yuheng and chi and eugene and karyen and jac!! lots more people but no time to write >.<
such cuteeeee prezzies and ... and alot of anklets.. wonder y... haha and chopsticks.. karyen... haha
asha!!! lol twin sis happy b'day as well!!! whee how many hours apart?? luv ya!! and we'll see each other at the next swiss reunion kays?
camp song!! lol such a cute song!!
What I Like About You - The Romantics
Hey! Uh huh huh. Hey! Uh huh huh.
What I like about you, you hold me tight
Tell me I'm the only one, wanna come over tonight, yeah
Keep on whispering in my ear tell me all the things that I wanna hear, 'cause it's true.
That's what I like about you.
What I like about you, you really know how to dance
When you go up, down, jump around, think about true romance, yeah
Keep on whispering in my ear tell me all the things that I wanna hear, 'cause it's true
That's what I like about you. (3X)
Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Hey! What I like about you, you keep me warm at night
Never wanna let you go, know you make me feel alright, yeah
Keep on whispering in my ear tell me all the things that I wanna hear, 'cause it's true
That's what I like about you
That's what I like about you (6X)
Hey! Uh huh huh Hey hey hey! Hey! Uh huh huh, brrr. Hey! Uh huh huh Hey!
11:46 PM
_____une fille, une etudiante et une amie
Saturday, September 10, 2005
5 hours and 12 mins
12:00 AM
_____une fille, une etudiante et une amie
Sunday, September 04, 2005
in my opinion they are way too short.. but at least I have one whole week devoted to meeee. haha
ok camp... well all i can say is tt its smth i've never done b4 at all.. well mostly. its not like i didn't have it in pri sch. but yeah high ropes, flying fox.. night trek is all first time stuff for me..
Day 1:
arrive at sch fall in and receive instructions abt camp
no mp3... sad man but i gotta say those 3 days w/o all that stuff really taught me how to live without em.. i haven't touched my mp3 since i got back.. well had mostly boring goal setting stuff and yeah how to be a better leader.. i think sumone else needs to pay attention to that if you want me to respect you as a leader yah? haha.. so yes bridge building man damn boring and hot and only few of us girls doing the stickytapefingersstraws stuff.. but then lunch came and umm high ropes and flying fox!!!! man tt one is uber cool.. way cool... fun fun fun.. haha i have never done that before...its like u drop then whee off you go.. night walk was very fun.. it looked damn scary but actually its not that dark after all.. maybe if i'm alone then yeah it'll be creepy... but it was quite a nice walk.. breath of fresh air.. but headache kept interfering...only 3 minutes to shower!!! and even though we return an hour late our lights out is extended by only 15 min.. so all of us rushing to change and shower and drink some Milo.. haha the highlight of the day.. the cup of Milo before bed ^^...sleeping in a tent is also smth new.. it was quite hot but i slept next to the door... so what was interesting was I'm next to the door but everyone ELSE in the tent has mosquito bites cept me.. o.0
Day 2:
Wake at 5. 48 am.. damn dark and argh not enuf sleep.. O.O.. panda eyes.. heh.. constantly running from campsite to chalet area.. leaving us all in stitches.. even after breakfast.. not good.. my tent mates kept leaving our tent open.. and i keep saying close the bloody tent.. so fine i close it myself.. then it rains! and when we return.. our tent is dry while others are wet.. see? close the tent la..
Had city hunt and i tell you that is the most stupid activity I've ever done.. like ALL that walking REALLY helps me become a better leader, understand my goals in life and such and such.. then when we get there after 12 km!!! our lunch has to be cooked before we can eat it.. its fine if we hadn't already walked all that way.. but we just slurped our baked beans, crunched on our raw maggi mee and munched on raw sausages.... fire was damn uncooperative but thanks to instructor victor he got one started for us...lol Lynn loves Milo freeze... then had campfire and all.. pretty fun.. war games haha... if found the secret in surviving in war games.. and I only got caught once in the entire game too!.. and no cuts or bruises. Its amazing how some people wanna win so badly they push others out of the way jus to save themselves.. despicable. My glow stick was purple ^^ and I exchanged it with Eugenie for another purple one! Haha ok lame but I got the same colour but I didn't wanna give it up..
Day 3:
Mostly just tying up the loose ends and packing up…sing sch song and all being all chummy..
Came back, changed, unpacked, had lunch, sat down on the sofa after lunch and closed my eyes for a little while and wake up the next morning... o.0
Bro's b'day:
Yes my little bro turned 14 on teacher's day.. ^^ and he has such a nice present too.. wish I were him haha.. I got my presents too although I really didn't expect it..
Few days before camp I was in Orchard and I saw this cute jacket.. and I go for camp and I come back and voila my mum bought it for me... I didn't even mention I saw it or ask for it.. WOW.. amazing.. its like she must have attached a cam to my bag or smth and saw what I was looking at.. got some other pretty cool stuff too.. mostly clothes..
Yeah I shud start a countdown.. or shud I just see how many remember?
4:50 PM
_____une fille, une etudiante et une amie
