hurray, datf.blogspot.com has finally reached it's number 100th post after the debut 13 months ago. and the 100th post is question of the day no.4.
4) is someone still considered a virgin if he/she has masturbated and/or have oral sex before?
madonna's like a virgin live on mtv's 1st vma awards in 1984. notice that she kicked her shoes off in 0:20, therefore she had to go down to pick it up, and thus she rolled around on the stage, revealing her panties, and created one of the most shocking moments on mtv, which made vma an honourable award show.
"Immcaulate Insult" was originally meant to be released in 2 different versions, the polite version and the crude version. But this idea was scrapped off due to the already delayed publishing of the manual. What you see below is the polite version.
The following has been rated suitable for all ages.
IMMACULATE INSULT
You see someone who is irritating and needs a kick in the butt, what should you do? You must be civilised and go up to him and insult him. That’s the new trend. But how many people know how to insult or be sarcastic well? Probably not much. Therefore it is vital to at least learn some basic insult skills or sarcasm to retaliation. Of course I am strong in insults but relatively weak compared to people like Mrs Chan, Ms Sunita (both are masters of sarcasm), Vancome Lady (all rounded expert), and a person whom I shan’t name. Ok, stop reading this crap and start looking below.
Lesson 1: Be re-inventive Constantly come up with new ideas for insult. Strive to create your own fashion line for insult. Create trends instead of following trends. Example: As blind as ______________ (not suitable for mentioning)
Lesson 2: Don’t laugh when you're insulting When giving insults, try as much as possible not to laugh or even smile. Because you want to appear serious so that the person might try to stop irritating you further. If you can’t do so, here’s a tip: say your line of insult as fast as possible, and thinking like you want a fight. Example: Difficult to show, but people who seen me do “go where? Go to hell? Go eat shit? Go and die?” should get some idea.
Lesson 3: Don’t even look intimidated Even if you are intimidated, don’t show it. Just think like: at most fight only. Example: NIL – Never got intimidated in arguments. Never loved to fight.
Lesson 4: Think of all countering methods for your insult. Think of a counter attack for your insult which must be so difficult that your opponent cannot think of it. This is in case your opponents follow trends (which you should not) and use your insult back at you. Example: Xujun should know, about Vancome’s Lalala…, which I could successfully counter it by saying “See you stopped “La”ing when I stopped speaking. This proves you can hear why I’m telling you.
Lesson 5: Anyhow crap on the spot If you can’t think of anything to counter, you just anyhow say something which is illogical and yet seems relevant, and give yourself time to think of something to say, while you opponent ponders on what you said. And hopefully, this could change the topic of argument away. Example: NIL – I could always counter insults, so nothing much to say.
Lesson 6: Don't say words that are too vulgar Too vulgar words like f*** makes you look like a cheap slut who has pathetic vocabulary which consist of only that word. Examples: NIL - I rarely speak those words.
Try these out and see how useless it is.
All Rights Reserved ®. Immaculate Insult. 29 April 2008.
It's an interesting face-off this summer as two of the world's greatest divas battle each other, with the release date of both albums being close to each other. Mariah Carey's E=MC^2 released on 8 April while Madonna's Hard Candy will be released on 24 April.
E=MC^2 lead single, "Touch My Body" has reached number 1 in America, being her 18th number 1 there, second only to The Beatles, who has had 20 number 1 hits on the Billboard. Hard Candy's lead single, "4 Minutes" has reached number 1 in more than 10 countries currently, and peaked at number 1 on the United World Chart. This has also became her 13th number 1 single in the UK, making her the 5th most successful singles artist there and still the most successful female singles artist there.
Now let's get on with the album reviews.
E=MC2 - Mariah Carey
First, the album cover. That fur that's used to cover her is disgusting, and so is the splitting of her legs. The words "MARIAH" is in so ugly. Basically, the album cover sucks. Lead single "Touch My Body" is quite sexy and nice. Apart from that "I'm That Chick" is an energetic and good track. "Migrate" featuring T-Pain seems like some latin songs that Shakira sings. "O.O.C" is energetic but not as good as "I'm That Chick". She sings better in the song "Bye Bye", now the songs don't seem that boring anymore. "I Wish You Well" is simple, singing along with a piano, and damn she sang such a high note. Her singing is almost the same throughout the album. Using a very high voice over and over, her voice doesn't seem as good as a decade ago. Not a fantastic album, but moderately good.
Hard Candy - Madonna
Lead single "4 Minutes" is an energetic and upbeat track, yet another mega hit for her after "Hung Up". The other tracks however, did not show as much energy as she did for "4 Minutes". But "Miles Away" is a great song dedicated to her husband. "Dance 2night" does not sound like a song for dancing. Second single "Give It 2 Me" did not seem as great a song to me. "Beat Goes On", mixed and included with Kanye West's vocals, sounds groovy enough to be a club hit. Her change to hip-hop sounds a little like that of her year 2000 album, "Music". It isn't as good as her previous, highly successful "Confessions On A Dance Floor", but it's relatively good.
smops was miserable. for the prep day we had to move 360 tables and chairs out to the jc hall. then they thought of some "creative" ideas and created a railway out of tables to transport tables and chairs from one end of the hall to another. i think i will call it the school version of death railway. it was the most miserbale smops of my life. arranging that thing was even worse. and it seems that they installed air-con, unlike the past 2 years in the hot and pathetic hall. basket we were only released at 5.30pm or so while other already dismiss at maybe 4.30pm. luckily we get slightly (only) more cip hours for doing such a tough work.
the actual day was not as miserable but still quite miserable. so they took the paper and finished. then majority of the students from each of the 2 schools are in my group of 40. so i had to go pressure the dismissal officers to tell me where to take the children to because the probably unhappy primary school teacher from both schools pressured me to do so. then i was told that 1 group only to bring 1 school and i had to go pick up my group 67 flag and then go to them. whats the use of the stupid flag printed on paper and taped on some pipes. oh yeah im sure its my fault im allocated to 2 schools with majority of their students in my group. but then when i went back to take the stupid flag, i found that one of the primary school was gone, luckily, so i went back to the dismissal officers with my flag and all of them were busy and i wasnt served. so then i just was forced to go up on the stage and take a look at the zone they were supposed to go to. and then we constructed another death railway to transport the tables and chairs back into the store. but no, that wasnt the end.
while other people were probably dismissed and we're still keeping the tables and chairs, we were called by the possibly inhumane ots to go to block b and put the tables, instead of calling those people that are more slack in the classrooms instead of the hall (note the absence of plural form due to the fact that we are the only unluckily ones that is transferred to be in the only hall examination). but luckily after moving some tables and chairs, the more humane mrs ke asked us to stop because we have worked so hard and that they will "pressure" the estate office to find workers to put the tables back. if we have worked hard, that means the people in charge of classrooms have worked "soft". but luckily there is still probably 1 extra hour of cip to minimise my hatred for the ots for miserably organising this thing.
ahh! im so damn tired now and im typing with my eyes nearly closed. fancy having to arrive at school at 6.40am. they should push back the starting time. must sleep more...
after editting like a prayer, xujun has requested for me to tap on my wisdom once again to edit a song for him. so i have decided to write about one of the things he does very often, as you can see in the lyrics below. i editted ray of light and it will be called ray of light 2008.
Ray Of Light 2008 Dedicated to: Xujun Lyrics edited by: DATF Original song: Madonna’s “Ray Of Light”
Standing in the lab in chem he wonder Which substance in the lab should he steal today He’s got himself ethanol gone quickly For the call of Justin threatens everyone
And he steals, then he just went home And he steals And he steals, then he just went home And he steals
Faster than the speeding light he’s escaping Trying to remember where it all began He’s got himself a little piece of Mg Waiting for the time when his Mg (and some other chemicals) shall be as one
And he steals, then he just went home And he steals And he steals, then he just went home And he steals
Quicker than a ray of light Quicker than a ray of light Quicker than a ray of light
Standing in the lab in chem he wonder Which substance in the lab should he steal today He’s got himself ethanol gone quickly For the call of Justin threatens everyone
And he steals, then he just went home And he steals And he steals, then he just went home And he steals
And he steals Quicker than a ray of light Then gone for More chemicals will be there Through the endless years
He’s got himself some chemicals He’s got himself some chemicals He’s got himself some chemicals
And he steals And he steals And he steals, then he just went home And he steals
Quicker than a ray of light he’s stealing Quicker than a ray of light he’s escaping
this post is dedicated to the ever irrtating and gay, shawn, who has been stalking me till the ends of the earth. he is the worst stalker i have ever seen. go stalk someone else instead. go eat shit, go and die, but just don't come near me.
as such i will dedicate my change lyrics of like a prayer to that basket.
Like A Stalker Dedicated to: Shawn Ng Lyrics edited by: DATF Original song: Madonna’s “Like A Prayer”
Life is a mystery, everyone should stand alone I hear you call my name And it feels so gay
When you call my name, it's like a little stalker Im down on my knees, I wanna take you there In the school hour, I could feel your power Just like a stalker, You know I'll stop you there
I hear your voice, its like an stalker stalking I have no choice, I hear your voice Feels like dying I close my eyes, oh God I think Im falling Out of the sky, he stands behind Heaven help me
When you call my name, it's like a little stalker Im down on my knees, I wanna take you there In the school hour, I could feel your power Just like a stalker, You know I'll stop you there
Like a child you whisper softly to me Youre in control just like a child Now Im dancing Its like a nightmare, no end and no beginning Youre here with me, its like a nightmare Let the choir sing
When you call my name, it's like a little stalker Im down on my knees, I wanna take you there In the school hour, I could feel your power Just like a stalker, You know I'll stop you there
Just like a prayer, your voice can give me hell Just like a muse to me, you are a mystery Just like a ngihtmare, you are still what you seem Just like a prayer, no choice your voice can give me hell
Just like a prayer, He'll give me death Its like a nightmare to me
i ran out a 12.48min for my 2.4km run. well i think it's an improvement. i think that would credit me a c. if i hadnt gotten d for my standing board jump, i would have gotten a gold. i think i will have a retest for standing board jump.
anyway, the cip project in primary school was really fun for me, because i get to scold people. the more i scold the happier and more energetic i get. thats positively fun. i think i should shout at the students more often, and make them respect someone of higher authority. HAHAHA.
it seems like after doing some devious acts and some advising acts as well, i discovered that i have an interest in psychology. it seemed like such a perfect profession for me because biology is not an admission subject for psychology in university. quite a lot of people ask me on how to deal with this and that (and im not referring to cao's i have a gun to my head. should i pull the trigger?). then most of the time i would give them a counsellor like advice, then soon after i cannot resist but come up with a devious and dramatic plot. i thought i was 80% evil and 20% good. but now i think im 50% evil and 50% good. i think i will start offering choices on whether you want a devious plot or kind advice.
for the third time, i became my own dentist and plucked out my tooth.
this time it was because having that tooth there makes my gums uncomfortable and aching a little, therefore i took 10min in the bath to slowly fiddle with that thing and finally pulling it out in the end.
i remembered the first time was last december when i was away in new zealand. i was eating lunch when my tooth suddenly went off place. as a result i couldn't bite because the top row of tooth, blocked by my displaced tooth, could not touch the bottom row. i had to skip lunch, and in the end spent half an hour on the coach pulling it out.
and the second was when i was sitting in front of my computer this march holidays and i felt that the tooth was too uncomfortable, so i shook my tooth, not really intending for it to drop off, and it just came off easily.
plucking out a tooth doesn't doesn't seem to be very painful, but i still don't think i will let a dentist pluck my tooth out, i will let it fall naturally or pluck it out myself just like my teeth in the past, never before been pulled out by dentists. yay.
yay, we're on tv. "校园开讲" ended yesterday and i had to sit there for 1.5h continuously. it was hot and boring. but there were a few errors too, like highing again because we did it at the wrong timing. and news reporters has such a thick make up, even thicker than it looks on tv. it will be such a chizzle to take it off. 琪琪 was very friendly and she smiled constanly throughout the whole time with us. so after the recording ended, 吕诗琳 came out to play some quiz game with us. i can't believe it, she came to our school just to give us the prizes, how lame. anyway she looks uglier in person then on tv. oh as i was saying, we were playing this quiz and i actually answered a correct answer. and i got a 新动网 mousepad and an autographed 沈建宏 "遇上 ice cream" single. their prizes are far better than some other quiz prizes. but i prefer they give some autographed albums or singles by angela zhang or fish leong. i will scan in the picture of the autographed single when i next use the printer cum scanner. i hate to say this, but this is the power live tv has to bring us all together. alternatively they could give me madonna's new single "4 minutes". i heard it jumped 65 places up to position 3 in the second week in billboard hot 100. mariah finally got her first 2 no.1s (philippines and america) on the same day after being out for a month or so. while madonna scored 2 no.1s in the first week of release, and now, in the second week, no.1 in 4 countries. can't wait for "4 minutes" mv to debut in 2 days time.
87. characteristics of noob powerpoint presentation making
characteristics of noob powerpoint presentation making:
- excessive word art - excessive custom animation - use of sound clips from microsoft powerpoint - gradient background - lots of bright colors - poor color combination - too wordy - contents' page - slide saying "the end", "thank you" "questions?" and so on
this reminds me of projects' day, which was a failure because we didn't do reflections and will be penalised for it. and we were instigated to put "Killing two birds with one stone by helping others to learn independently while accumulating CIP hours".
but then i only found out today that i actually got 9 for chem sabbatical in term 1. yay. i was also under the illusion that i got 4 only because i didnt finish the website.
im actually not as nervous presenting today. i think this is because im influenced by vancome lady. i cant really explain why so, but being vancomish really feels wonderful, especially when i can improve on my skill of scolding and insulting people, which i just classified as my hobby, the next being laughing at someone else's misfortune.
when we finished at 12.40, shawn and i* went to kap to eat mcdonald's because we have to go back to school at 2 to meet the vice-principal so that he could tell us what to do for the 早安您好 "校园开讲" thing tomorrow morning. they damn lame, ask us to be audience. coincidentally we met yao nian and cao when we were going to board the bus. this reminds me that i waved to xue wei last friday since i forgot that she doesn't know how i look like. if she reads this and remembers that day, i was actually standing beside cao on the bus. but then her face isn't that memorable since i had forgotten it after a day or so, except for the red specs she wore. wait that means she's not as memorable as her specs. but good thing i could go to her friendster and find out once again what she looks like.
* note that i use shawn and i, not me and shawn or shawn and me or i and shawn or whatsoever combination which are wrong. another good example of speaking better english
