it hits me back real hard

I thought I could run away from reality. I prayed hard, hoping dearly that I could forever float in my world of fantasy. Not ever have I dreamt of the day where I have to face all that's laid out in front of me. For so long I hid in the corner, holding tightly my legs to my chest. I watched silently as them strangers and familiar faces passed me by. Even though they were near, I could never see nor hear anything clearly. All I saw were empty faces and all I hear are deafening sounds. I asked myself, "who are they to me? and who am I to them?" I tried to be happy and so I laughed with you. But deep down, in my hearts of hearts, I am an enormous mess. I smiled. Painfully I did. But it was all an act of pretence. In truth, I could never remember what happiness feels like. And I know from this day onwards, I could never again feel what happiness is like.

The Cousins

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We break fast at Haig Road. The last time we met, all six, was during my 20th Birthday celebration. And I have to say, Konatt and and Kogie, you need to eat more. You guys look anorexic! Thin thin arms. I could just karate them off your body. I could. Anyway, as usual, we camwhored. I love our laughters, crazy antics, and everything else. Oh. Don't forget our December chalet. Wee...

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The Friends

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We break fast at Sarpino's Pizzeria. This was the first time I've been to the Simei outlet for my guy and I usually frequent the Dhoby Ghaut outlet. The ambience there is much more relaxing. And the latter sure doesn't smoke my eyes like the Simei one does. Nonetheless, going to Sarpino's always mean a bloated stomach afterwards. Oh. And what's an outing without stories and gossips to share right? Andthey say during Ramadhan we should watch what we are saying. That sure didn't happen.
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The Family

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Mummy... you know how much I love you right? I love spending time with you, going out with you and shopping with you and Hisyam. You are my bestest of friend, someone I run to each time I feel happy or sad. Just about anything, I will come running to you. Thanks mum. I just need you with me.

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