~In the years to come

Will you think about these moments that we shared

In the years to come

Are you gonna think it over

And how we lived each day with no regrets

Nothing lasts forever though we want it to

The road ahead holds different dreams for me and you..

Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts in your heart,

is the only way for destiny

Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts,

is the only way now for you and me

Though it's the hardest thing to say

I'll miss your love in every way

So say goodbye

But don't you cry

Cos true love never dies...~

Whew... Juz come bac frm holidaes.. Went to malaysia.. Went to peneng, muar,ipoh,genting n KL... Beri fun..Sit until backsite breaK... Haha...But ~sigh~...

Mi had a nitemare last nite... ~sigh~ I dreamt of him... But it's not a sweet dreamZ.. Is nitemare...~Sigh~ I dun wanna sae... Mayb is i tink toO mucH or i still mizZ him... But certainly i still mizZ him though i sae i will gi him up... Mi reali wish i can stay in malaysia... Dun nd to cum bac den i won't c him... Ya... Mayb u will sae tat i m avoiding him... But.. ~SigH~

**VinsOn... Mayb dis will b de last time i will sae al dis... But i m reali beri disappointed in u... But i reali duno hu to believe.. yes.. By rite i shuld trust u.. But... I duno.. I m in a lost....I m sori... After wad valerie had sae.. I m reali beri disappointeD... Mi decided to giv u up le... I m sorI... But i m afraid i cant let go.. I lurve u alwaYz but i m sorI.. I m sori vinson.. I m sori vinson... I m sori vinson... I m sori vinson...I m sori vinson... I m sori vinson... I m sori vinson.... I m sori vinson... I m sori vinson.... I m sori vinson.... I m sori vinson...I m sori vinson... I m sori vinson... I m sori vinson.... I m sori vinson... I m sori vinson.. I m sori vinson.. I m sori vinson..... Im sori vinson... Im sori vinson.... I m sori vinson.... I m sori vinson... I m sori vinsoN.... I m sori vinsOn... I m SorI vinSon... I m sorI vinsOn... I m sori vinsOn... I m sori vinsOn... Im sori ViNSoN.... i M SORI VINSoN.... i M sori vinsOn... I m sori vinsoN... I m sori vinsOn... I m sorI soRi vinsOn... I m sorI vinSon... I m sorI vinsOn... I m soRi vInson... I m sori vinson... I m sori vinsoN... I m sori vinsOn... I m sori vinsOn... I m sori but i lurve u....***

(*'_'*)No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE.No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK.And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE...(*^_^*)

HmM.... Yesterdae i duno muz sae is happie or unhappie.... Ok... I tok abt e happie ting first....HmM... Ni yesterdae go out wif ziyi,daniel,ling wen and denise.... We went out after training to far east... First we go long john eat den ok shopping a while... Go look look shirts... Haha... Mi yesterdae firsT time c 3 mad ppl in a dae... First is at long john...See one mad ang moh.. He go aruld picKing chilli wrappers on de floor aNd go throw it away... AiyO... Hehez.. Nxt we go de wall dere vandalised... Dun worry.. It's specially designed fer ppl to vandalised one...Hmm.... Den we wrote alot of tings dere... We wrote our names anD e date of yesterdae... Den ltre denise went to open de door and vandalised dere... Daniel help to open de door... Den dey cum out laughing.. I duno wad happen.. Mi squat down at de door den wanna vandalised de door, inside beri noisy so i look in.. I saw a mad guy dancing n toking to himself.. Haha... Den nxt we go tk photo.. Ya.. Al 5 of us...Hmm... De photos damn funnY... My goD.. Haha.. Den ltre tk photos liaOz... Den we go home... Walk until de bus stop liaOz, daniel den realised he forget to tk his uniform.. He checK... Den c denise uniform cover... He see.. Den he sae beri familiar.. I c the uniform got pockets one surely not denise one liaOz maHz.. So denise is de one nv tk uniform.. Haha.. She faster go bac tk...While waiting, at de bus stop, we c an old lady.. She has difficulty in her movement.. Den wen daniel offered to open de door fer her, she scolded us.. Deb i sae ltre she chase us wif he stick ar.. Cos she hav a nasty looK... Haha.. Den going home tat time.. We missed le 6 buses of 132... AiyO.. Haha.. Den at de bus stop daniel kp imitating those mad ppl we saw... We reali cant stop laughing... Haha..

Hmm... Den nw is the unhappie ting liaOz.. I HATE MUMMY!!!!!!!! Wa lau... Ask mi to gaui yi tian.. Tell her no way... She can scold bad words i cant.. FucK her off aRh... She wad guai lan oso scold.. She gt lan meHz.. Summore i onli scold fucK n shit.. I nv even sae out ok...I will study.. Bad words i will continue to scold... I will make her pay fer it.. Cos is she force mi to do tat... I will rebel until she giv in.. If not.. No tok! I will nv 4get de way she beat mi wen i use de fone fer a while.. She hit my heaD anD my vision sudden turn white den blur den bac to normal.. If anyting happens to mi i will hold her responsible! Curse mi die in sjab.. C hu die first laHz...She wanna die ask her die first laHz... FucK her off man... Den nw ask mi do tings.. Cant do herself izzit... All de peers aruld mi can go out everytime.. Mi leHz.. Go out 4 hrs she nag nag nag.. Onli noe hw to nag... Go home late a bit oso scold.. Go ask aruld my frene... Hw many will help parents do most de hseworks.. Logically my job is to study not to do hse work.. Den if results not gd... She blame mi... Everytime nag nag nag.. Beat beat beat... Violent mother... No wonder i hate dis hse... Wish i could leave dis home.. Bad mood oso muz giv in to her... Nw go wad holidaes... Dun wanna go everytime force mi go... Do sjab ting she nag... Wad de fucK... Wad kinD of mother is this... Hu will have a mother worst den mi... FucK laHz...

**Vins0n... Mi reali beri baD mooDs loRz... WisH sumhw u could be here... HaIz... But u nv will... But nvm... HmM... Mi yesterdae went out wif dem oso wisH u were dere... But u in sch play bb.. HaIz... Go tk photo oso wisH u were dere... But u oso nt dere... HmM... Mi yesterdae wrote at de wall... I wrote at a beri small corner.. A beri small worDs.. I wrote.... abt u.. But i guess nobody will ever notice it.. NoboDy yesterdae saw mi writting... Nvm... I dreamt abt u alot of times... I guesS dis time i reali fall in lurve wif u le... Honestly... I nv lurve anyone so deeP b4... U r de first one hu will maKe i wait... Nw i finally understanD hw ah ben feel wen i breaK wif him le.. Dis feeling was horrible... Mi understanD liaOz... Sori ben... Anywy.... When u r sicK, i m willing to tk caRe of u ... I promise... I lurve u alwaYz... MuacKz..

)(Real lurve doesn't hav an ending..)(

HmM... Mi todae went down to schhol again to do recruitment ting... Todae not mucH ppl... I juz felt beri frurasted todae... Mayb is i m beri tired... Den he wad dere helping mi again... At first onli mi n xue ying... Den ltre i cal ziyi n him down to help... Den is lyk he regardless of wad... He came down loRz... He came down earlier den ziyi...

Mi todae duno y... My mooD not beri gd... Juz duno watta write... So write shorter.. I oso dun feel lyk toking... Beri baD mooD.. Feel lyk crying... I reali felt tat a psn's life is reali very fragile... U will nv noe wad might happen tml... So muz treasure todae...

**VinsoN... I todae is in a losT loRz... My mooD not beri gd.. Mayb is i anyhw tink again le.. Juz wanna tell u tat no matter wad no matter how... I will lurve u alwaYz... MuacKz...

#It hurts to lurve sumone anD not to be lurve in return but wad is mosT painful is to lurve sumone anD nv finding the couraGe to let de psn noe hw u feel..#

Mi juz nw went out wif my 2 'sis'.. Huiling anD wei PinG.. We went to orcharD.. Haha.. Everytime go orcharD.. But nvm laHz.. Go tk photo maHz.. Wa.. Todae breaK recorD agaIn.. Go tk photo 4 times... AiyO... Oh my goD.. Dead broke.. Haha.. Mi spent abt $11 to $12.. But we tk quite nice laHz.. Beri nice... Haha.. Wanna c... AsK mi fer it loRz..Haha....

AiyO.. Duno wad happen leHz... Last nite cant get to slp... Kp waking up suddenly.... Mi last nite cant get to slp den cry al nite... Duno watta do.. Mummy dun let mi watcH tv.. Sob sOb.. Wanna watch 5566 oso cant... Beri upseT... Den summore mummy confiscate my fone den return it to mi dis morning.. Duno y leHz... Mi morning 7+waKe up, hearT beating beri fasT.. Den i beri anxioUs anD waKe up finD my fone.. Den anyway.. I juz cant get to slp.. Den i oso hav sum dreaMz.. But 4get liaOz... HaIz...

Den todae at de mrt station c ms teo, joan n ruo yan...

HmM... We todae wen we wanna go hm.. We saw 3 guyz.. Al lyk ah benG face.. Dere smoking... So we 3 beri scared cos dere beri little ppl.. Den duno wad happen... Huiling walk left n left n left den in de enD she hurt herself... Her toe bleeding profusely... Den 'smerge' onto her slippers... Den we dere laughing...haha.. I m sori huiling... Haha... Den we went popular to buy a plastic cover.. To put all my photos...

Den todae in the bus we saw 3 guyz... HmM... Handsome??? hmM... Ok laHz... Not beri baD... Hmm... I guess one of dem shuld be peirce one... He lyk kp looKing at us loRz... HmM... Den wen we alight de bus... Dey turn bac n looK at us loRz.... HmM... Lyk ti ko bei.. Haha... No laHz... Jk... All 3 dyed haIr... One "golden monkey" den the other two duno hw to describe... Haha.. Den mi n huiling sae mayb he lyk wanna of us.. Mayb c wei pinG chio wanna ask us fer her no.. Haha.. Den huiling sae mi.. Den i sae no laHz... Not us... Is huling herself.. Hahaha...

**VinsOn... Todae i went out... I walkeD passed alot of places which we once went b4... HaIz... The memories are all still dere... Still so mucH 'alive'... I wisH we could go tk photo.. But nw no hoPe... We breaK le... ~SigH~... Mi reali wisH u were dere... My christmas wish is to patcH wif u if possible.. If not i juz wisH u r happie forever.. And u r saFe... Tats my wisH.... I lurve u alwaYz...MuacKz......

~True Luv Is Eternal, Cherish Luv When You Got The Chance,Once It Left You, It Will Be Difficult To Get It Back, Dun Let Love Be Onli A Memory...~

HaIz.. Poor mi.. Todae stay in schooL do recruitment ting agaIn.. Dis time is hanG banneRs... Worse... Muz climb high n low... Wa lau damn the wad.. Den trouble sumin, ziyi n him again.... haIz... Sori to al.. Sori to trouble u all....

HmM... He was dere helping mi again... He was dere wif mi once moRe...He was lyk beri gd to mi.. He was helping mi all alonG.. He let mi hav de feelinG tat we haven breaK... But... ~sigH~ We already breaK... Once i went up the slope.. I noe hw to go out but duno hw to go down... He offered his hanDs to mi.. Wad does it shows.. Den wen he borrow my shoes anD i told him the flooR was hot anD he offered his shoes to mi.. Wad does it showS... AnD wen i climb up de fences anD he ask mi to b careful.. Wad does it showS...AnD wad does it shows wen he asked mi to drink his drinK.. Does it shows he still lurve mi... ~SigH~

Even sumin oso tell mi tat she can c tat he still lurve mi.. Wad does it shows... Is sumone going to tell mi it's my imagination... Or izzit part of my tinking... I duno... I m beri confused nw... Can sum1 tell mi watta do...

**VinsoN... Can u tell mi hw u feel fer mi??? Do u still lurve mi.. If not... Why did u show so mucH caRe anD concern fer mi.. Pls dun tell mi bcos u treaT mi s frene... Todae.. I reali felt tat our hearTs was lyk beinG brought so close together.. I hav de feeling tat we nv breaK.. We were lyk b4.. But de fact is we already breaK... One month ago on dis dae is ur bdae.. U sae u dun wanna go out cos u baD mooD.. And u sae u will asked mi out another dae.. One month later which is todae.. We broKe up.. We can no lonGer go out together.. ~SigH~ The way i m lurving u nw is painful.. But i dun minD.. Cos i lurve u alwaYz.. MuacKz.. ~Sigh~

][~GoD g1ve u 2 legS t0 walK, 2 hanDs t0 hold,2 ears to heaR anD 2 eyeS to seE..BuT wHy did he gIve u onli one hearT???BecauSe he gaVe the otheR onE t0 sum1 else fOr u t0 finD......~][

Todae... HaIz.. Holidaes muz still go schooL.. Si bei siaNz... Go schooL fer waD??? Go paint banneRs anD cleaN trophieS loRz.. Wa.. The nite bef0re beri headach... CanT finD any0ne to help... But in de enD no choice loRz.. C hw many Xue ying can finD...

Wa.. I was nearly laTe dis morning.. Den wen i reacH scH.. Saw him anD daniel togetheR... Den i pretenD nv c juZ walK awaY loRz.. BuT tat daniel kp calling mi.. Beri de wad.. But i dun wanna turn aruld.. Wen i turn aruld.. I saw him tk out hp.. I felt my fone is vibrating.. I noe is him le loRz... So i walk over.. He askeD mi wan sweeT anit den tats all.. Lidat den maKe mi walK over.. AiyO.. Beri de wad leHz.. Bully mi... Haha.. Jk...

I wenT out wif siyinG to buy sum materials... Den on the way siying told mi alot of ting.. She askeD mi wHy d0 i still caRe fer him.. I've no ans.. I duno watta ans her... ~SigH~

Den cum bac do bannErs.. Wow.. C al of dem already drew out the layouts.. Beri de nice.. So i help in paIntinG loRz.. HmM... Mi paIn beri horrible.. Den lidaT.. We staY until 6..

E daniel hoRx... AiyO.. Beri noisy... Tok de most is him... AiyO.. Kp saying mi anD him.. I reali wondeR.. Dun he noe abt mi anD him... Beri toot leHz... Den ltre abt 4+.. PainT nearly finish le... So i go bac help help abit loRz.. Den he beri de wad... Leave mi anD ziyi dere... Sae wad let dem enjoy er ren shi jie.. Mi tat time duno wanna be angrY or saD.. LidaT sae... ~sigH~

Arrg... Den no choIce loRz.. Onli mi anD ziyi deRe.. Den we two dere diaM diaM... Duno watta sae..

Den ltre i walK baC to Sj rm... See de two idiots dere playinG den drinK de whole syrup up... Wa lau... The drinK beri sweeT u noe.. Den hoRx... Oh my goD.. Duno watta sae... HahAha... Den finish liaOz... We go cleaR up everyting.. Mi reali cant staY liaOz.. So mi fasteR cleaR up everyting... Den at first i dun wanna go.. But haIz... Den i dere ask dem faster fasteR... Den in de enD no choIce.. He walk oveR anD take the keYs frm mi.. Tat moment i can reali felt our souLs is reali close togetheR.. His hanDs toucHed mine...The warmtH of his hanDs is still deRe... ~Sigh~

When i was leavinG schooL.. He cal mi frm de stairways.. Wen i looKed up... He looKed at mi... He sort of lyk got sth to tell mi... But is lyk kai bu liao kou.. Den he juz sae gdbye...I was lyk al de way tinking wad izzit tat he wanna sae...

**VinsoN... Mi reali wonDer wad u wanna sae loRz.... But aiyO... Nvm... Wen u sae abt mi anD ziyi having er ren shi jie rite... I was tinking wad r u reali tinking... FooL.. Wad r u tinking... Dun u understanD my feelings fer u???!!!Mi reali beri disappointeD... But nvm.. Den wad izzit tat u wanna tell mi on de stairwaYs??? HaIz... Too mi it's importanT wad u sae... But wadever izzit.. I loVe u alwaYz.. MuacKz...

*!&%Sometimes Love Hurts, But If It Doesn't Hurt, Then Itsn't Love Anymore, Hold On To The Person U Love, Before They Slip Away, Or Else U Can Never Get Them Back...%&!*

AiyO.... Mi whoLe boDy achIng now... Very the paInful... Yesterdae go iceskating... Duno is relaX or injuRe myself... haha....But quite fun laHz... I learnt how to skaTe... Ya.. I learnT how to liaOz... Beri fun.. But it hurTs to fall.... HeheZ... But ltre got matthew as my 'supproter'...

Haha.. So nv fall so many timeS liaOz.... Eh eh.... Dun anyhow tink hoRx... Mi anD him juz frene.. His my koR ok... Dun anyhow tink...

But honestly hoRx.. Reali alot of ppl ask abt us ever since we start holding hanDs.... Haha... StranGe... Mi anD him looKs lyk steaD meHz.. Haha... But we not steaD loRz.. Mi anD him juz frene.... I mean hs's my godbro.. Ppl might tink i flirt.. Juz breaK wif vinsoN den steaD wif matthew.. But sori.. I m not.. I beri 'pure & innocent'... Haha...

Mi todae training... Same same loRz... No difference.. Onli todae mi n him tok loRz... He ask mi wanna drinK anot.. I sae dun wan... Haha....

**VinsoN.... Maybe wad li fang sae maybe right... She sae if our relationship is strong enough... Nothing can bring us apart... Maybe our relationship is a weak seedling loRz... HaIz... I duno wad r u tinking... haIz... I reali cant let go loRz... I duno wad conclusion is Li fang giving.. haIz... Wad fueds u n her hav arH? Tok so much bad tings abt yOu.. Ok... I reali wanna noe now... Have yOu ever reali loVe mi... I reali wish to noe...Haiz... Mi anD matthew nv steaD... Tat dae go iceskating, is i duno how to skate... Den he was dere to help mi and supporT mi in caSe i fall..Reali nth... He held my hanD is bcos i duno hw to skate.. Den arisa not aruld to guide mi...I m not cuming up with excuses... Reali... Mi and ziyi is nth... Mi anD matthew oso nth... Reali... Anyway... Hope u r not lyk wad li fang sae.... But i won't believe u are tat kind of person.. I trust yOu.. I duno why our past memories keep flashing in my mind... Recurring... Haiz.. Maybe is i tink too much le.. But cant help tinking bcos u giv mi too much memories le... Anyway... I love yOu alwaYz.... MuacKz...

~!@#AccepT anD treasuRe wad yOu haVe nOw.. The fuTuRe mighT be worsT...#@!~

HaIz... I reali feeL lyk quiting com.. I felt tat i m reali undeR a greaT sTresS loRz... Actually i won't feel so stress if my members attitude is beta.. I m not saying tat my attitude is very good laHz.. But...haIz... PretenD i nv sae anything..

Someone told mi again tat ms tan is observing his attitude when i m wif ziyi or other guyz... Den wad ms tan alwaYz see is tat he alwaYz show a expression of jealousy.. Ok.. Maybe it showS tat he still caRe baH... But how much do he caRe.... If he caRe.. Why won't he giv both of us a chance... Haiz....

I reali duno how to handle my prob now.... Should i continue staying in com squat? Com, camp, recruitment ting came clashing together.. haIz... Den lastly u noe laHz.. I cant brinG myself to let go...

Todae i went h0me alone.. Sori sumin.. I reali wish to be alone.. I reali wisH to be quiet anD alone... Sorting out my feelings... I m sori.. Ask you to go bacK alone...

**Vins0n... Pls... Dun giv tat kinD of expressIon tat u r jealous when i m wif ziyi in fronT of ms tan... I dun wanna get you inTo trouble... Ms tan now is supecting if we really hav brokeN up.. Pls... Mi and ziyi is nth... We are juz partners worKing on the camp proposal.. We really nth... Trust mi... Beside yOu i will not consiDer other guYz until de dae u sae u love mi no more... I reali duno watta do lOrz.. I reali felt terrible deep down in my hearT.. But i m happie to noe at least u still caRe oF mi.. i tink tats enough le.. But i reali wish to ask yOu... Why cant y0u give both of us a chance... haIz.. I reali cant stop myself from tinking.. Arrg... Wad m i doing... haIz.. It's terrible to noe tat u still caRe anD yeT we canT be together... The life i m leading now is in complete darKnesS.. It's hell... Juz nw i saw my cousin wif his steaD so happily.. I cant help tinking of u.. Really duno watta dO.. I felt myself loving u more.. But wad shuld i do... AnywaY.. I loVe yOu alwaYz...

~$&%+The brightest future will baseD on a forgotten past... U cant go on well in life unlesS u let go oF youR pasT failureS anD heartacheS....+%&$~

haIz... Should i sae todae is bad dae fer mi.... I duno... I noe my cLasS le.. I did not get into my dreaMz clasS... I got inTo a clasS of subjecT combination consist of D&t, A maths,E maths, Combin social studies and geography... haIz.. I resign to fate liaOz... At first when i noe my result i was very very unhappIe.. But so wad if i m unhappie... I oso cant chanGe the fact tat i get into tat clasS...

I wondeR how is pig^ fanG now.... Is she doing fine? How shuold i console her when i see her??? I reali duno... Aiya pig^ling dun nd to care abt her de lahz hoRx... How is ah fanG now? Is she alrite??? Reali wish to noe how she doing now... AiyO...

Wa.. Todae training is quite fun.. But my mooD is spoilt by Sonia loRz... She scold until sOng zhI cry...I felt tat sonia is ok but her teachinG methoD anD the waY she work hoRx reali make mi damn pisS off... If she chanGed abit i sure alot of ppl will lyk her... I nv sae her not gd loRz.. But if she dun lidat i dun mind being frenes wif her loRz...

Wa.. Recently i damN stresSeD up... And rather stoopid loRz... I wrote out wad happen between mi n him from head to bottom.. I noe damn stoopid loRz.. Make myself more upset... AiyO... StresseD up bcoS my com team... Then recuitment ting... Then camP ting.. Cos everything came clashing together... And my relationship ting loRz...

I reali dun watta do... It's lyk so many ppl might tink i m wif ziyi as mi and ziyi alwaYz together doing tings...Den ppl who dun understanD mi might tink tat i m wif ziy after i breaK wif vinsoN... But i m not... We are close bcos we need to do camp tings.. I intended to stay away from him after camp... Maybe tat time valerie dey all on the bus c mi and ziyi walking to amk central... But tat time we r going to meet peiru mdm tats y we go together...

Some ppl might tink tat i m stoopie to cling on to a impossible dreamZ loRz...They might tink tat after wad he did, do he still worth my loVe fer him... They might tink tat my dreamz is quite a impossible on loRz.. Rite... I duno if my love is worth it loRz.. Why did he lyk mi at the first place.. I m neither chio or hav gd characters.. Why.. The ans might be love has no reasons...

In my heart tats one angel and one devil.. Angel is saying: If yOu love him.. No matter wad.. Dun giv up.. Tats such a ting cal miracal.. Belive tat he still love yOu.. Love him for wad he is..Remember wad he did fer yOu.. All those happiness he gave yOu when u two are together..And all those sweet memories he giv yOu.. Devil is saying: Aiya.. He dun worth your love laHz.. After he treat you lyk dis.. Why u so stoopie to love him.. Damn stoopie leHz.. He is a selfish guY.. He dun worth yOur love..

**VinsOn... I... M i verY stoopie.. To write out our past... I duno why loRz... Juz felt writting out.. I remember all the dates and days clearly loRz...I wrote out but i hav yet to complete.. After last sat dm.. I understanD liaOz loRz... Our status can onli reminD as freNes... No matteR wad.. We can onli reminD as frene... Juz frenes... Nth futher... M i very stoopie to cling on to a impossible loVe.... HaIz... I finally understanD le loRz.. The most we can go is gd frenes... But nw we onli treat each other as stranGer... Worst... Ms tan once secretly told ling wen dey all tat she wanna see yoUr reaction when i m wif ziyi... Den she saw u very buai song... haIz... I reali wish i can dun stay close to ziyi loRz... But no choice... CamP.... haIz... Or maybe u might juz tink tat i m finding excuse.. But i m not loRz...haIz.. Believe anot up to u loRz... But juz wanna tell yOu.. I loVe y0u....

Wa pianG... Todae tat training hoRx... Si bei siaNz.. But gd laHz.. I got learnT somethinG.. HaIz... But nobody close there.. There one is lyk all ok ok one loR.. Still can be frene.. Mian qiang abit lor....

But i todae i tio shock.. I verY surprise and happIe.. He went to schooL todae.. Den finally he took the initative to tok to mi.... When i msg him he oso got reply... Lyk normal loRz.. Casual tok.... ya..... Quite happie.... But tio shock when he stanD at the dooR... Suddenly one lor... Ghost will oso kana scared to death by him( btw.. forget ghost is already dead.. haha.. lamer...)

Erm todae my mood is consider ok lar.. But hoRx... When tink of the past reali makes mi very upset.. I wish i can go bacK tO the past.. haIz... okok.. Dun tink.. Honestly laHz.. I nv expect him cum sch todae.. I tot i won't see him todae but miraical.. He came.. AnD honestly see him reali make mi cheeR up abit lorz.. At least he tok to mi and reply my sms...haha.. But his sigh hoRx.. AiyO.. Distract my training.. =b Todae training reali duno watta sae lor... SianZ?? ok laHz... HappIe??? N O! No way...Ok laHz...But i nv regret going to sch.. HeheX.. OoPs.. =x

AiyO... I wondeR wad pig^ fang n pig^ling aRe doIng..(-_-)? Si bei sonG at hoMe hoRx.. Wa.. Mi si beI buaI sOng in scHooL..!!! TortuRe leHz...

**VinsOn.. I todae quite happIe anD surprIse tO seE yoU iN schooL loRz... Den summore U tk yoUr initative to toK to mi.. Enough liaOz loRz.. I m contented le.. I shuldn't be greeDy.. HeheX... But honestly lor.. I reali hopE tO gO bacK tO the pasT.. But i noE is impoSsible loRz i noe... haIz.. So dun listeN mi 'bullshit'... Tats i tinK tinK onli.. I noe won't cum true.. So i tinK tinK onli.. haha.. But i m alreaDy happIe to haV our past memories.. I will lock theM in my hearT until u cuM alonG tO unlock it anD continues the storY.. HaIz.. I noe it's imposSible.. So i m going to throw awaY the key.. So nobody is going to open tat locKer except yOu.. U neeD no keYs to opeN it.. All yOu neeD is a hearT.. And juz stanD in front of mi.. It will eventually open fer yOu.. Onli yOu.. Im willing to face the prob wif yOu one loR.. If i hav tat chance.. I will tell yOu "we are one.. Not two aparTs.. No matter wad happeNs.. I will stanD by yOu..".... I loVe yOu...

][~*TheRe nO remeDy foR loVe buT to Love moRe.....*~][

haIz... Wad happeN to mI again.. Why m i lidat... I duno.. I suddenly feel lyk crying again.. But at least got sumone who wuld lend mi a listening ears...Wa i reali under a great stress now.. At home, family prob.. Last time, at least still got him to listen to wad i sae.. Den nw who shuld i turn to.. Haiz.. Last time still got him now leHz.. NoboDy.. Den mummy all day kp kao bei mi.. Last time he ask mi to tolerate.. Ok.. Fine.. Bcos of him.. I torlerate a few times..Nvm.. But now, tolerate fer who..Haiz.. No point saying last time le laHz i noe..

I juz felt tat dis time i reali misS him alot.. I reali duno watta do... And it's quite impossible for mi to fall in love again.. I mean not so fast loRz.. HaIz..

But i neeD nobody to tell him i feeL.. If he cant understanD den forget it.. Let it be baH.. It wuld be meaningless if my feelings hav to be told my sumone..

haIz.. Having a spliting headache nw... Duno izzit nv hav my breakfast or wad.. Feel lyk fainting nw... Summore morning gastric pain... Wanna die liaOz laHz.. Den tat time go wif mummy to buy ting.. Her frene sae frm my face she see tat my liver is very weak.. Wa pianG.. Wanna die liaOz laHz.. So unhealthy.. haIz.. Den receive no concern frm loved one.. no laHz.. Jk.. But nw reali feel very giddy.. Wad if i stand up.. Sure collasped.. AiyO.. Scaring myself..

**vinsOn.. I reali in a lost le... Wad shuld i do... I m having a headache nw.. Tinking abt the past.. If i m sicK.. You will be theRe to ask mi to resT.. Or lent a shoulder for mi to resT on.. But where aRe yoU noW.. WheRe are u wheN i needed yoU.. I need you bcos i love you..Haiz.. I felt u chanGe le.. If u chanGe bcos you wan mi to giv u up.. I tell you.. No.. No matteR wad i will still love yOu... You noe why when i sae "i love you" i alwayz add "alwayz" behind? Cos i noe it's hard for us to last but i will alwaYz love yOu... There are a few times yOu reali moved mi.. I nv expected yOu to do tat.. wo zhen de bei gan dong le.. Love need nO promises though.. But no maTTer wad.. I loVe yOu.. AlwaYz....

[*+_There were many times i wish you were there.. But you never were... Where have you been... I duno..._+*]

Todae i accidentally cut my finger... I broke a bowl todae... Tats when i cut my finger.. I mean while i was clearing the broKen pieces.. I duno why am i so distracted recently.. Wad happen tO mi... I duno.. In sch when peiying tok to mi i oso duno... Wad happen...I m sort of blur recently..I duno.. Lost my sense of direction.. Where is my life heading.. Where is my goal...

So much ting happeNs.. My heart has shattered into pieces.. Juz lyk the bowl.. The broKen pieces... Haiz... Wad happeN to mi recently.. I dun feel lyk i m my normal self.. haIz...

Todae i walk down the staIrs with vernon, melvin and sum other guyz.. Den tat time i was oso toking abt him.. Suddenly he walk up.. Damn "sway".. De facial expression he had is sort of angrY and anxious..I duno wad happeN.. But he shuld understanD vernon is my koR maH.. haIz... aiYa.. Duno laHz..

**vinsOn.. You sort of avoiding mi lorz... Why.. Why must you avoid mi.. Haiz...Sometimes i reali wonder izzit a mistake for us to be together.. A mistake for us to noe each other.. A mistake for us to get close to each other...Den sometimes my mind will come to a 'conclusion'..."Yes.. Yes it's a mistake from the start.. From the scratch.. It's all a mistake.. A serious mistaKe.." Why... I cant deny tat it's fate tat bring us together.. But it's oso fate tat tear us apart... haIz... I duno.. I've already resign my life to fate le.. wo ren ming le.. The purpose for mi to write here is not to let ppl see.. Is bcos i duno hu to tok to.. I oso dun feel lyk tokng anyway.. So the onli way is i write out.. Haiz... There were times i wish you were arould when i need you.. But you were never there.. Where are you.. I duno.. Yes.. I cant deny loving you is painful.. But i never regret.. Really.. I never regret.. And i never will.. I promise.. I love yOu....

haIz... I duno why all of a sudden i hav all those flashback again.. Everything is like a dream...Todae on the bus.. A couple was sitting in front of mi... Den is lyk frm tat monment onwards the flashback came... Duno why i suddenly go blank.. I mean i duno wad's going on aruld mi..

My flashback was all abt both of us when we are together..Especially when we are on the bus...The way we sat together... The way he hugged mi...The way... We held each other hands.. Haiz.. Wad's the point of saying nw... Wad over is already over.. Everyone have a past.. So perharps this is my past baH...Ren zong hui you guo ju.. But hw can sae forget den reali 4get..

Todae i finally pluck up my courage to talk to him.. But onli one sentence.. Tat is "todae go hm design a banner hor".. Tats all liaOz.. But got tok can liaOz laHz..

haIz... But i m still very unhappie.. Cos i still miss him alot...Haiz...Wad shuld i do... Knock myself against the wall....

**VinsOn.. haIz... I reali duno watta dO beside missing you.. Tell mi wad shuld i do... I cant deny mayb i get close to ziyi is to noe hw u r doing.. But i oso dun wanna get so close to him until u r angry or wad... I juz wanna noe hw u r doing..Reali.. Juz tat... And beside camp.. I noe u might get the wrong idea but it's true.. Beside u i won't consider other guys unless u sae u love mi no more...But i reali wish to noe nw.. Do u still luv mi.. haIz.. But so wad if we still love each ohter.. Oso cant be together... Haiz.. Why..I duno if my frene sae was true.. If you reali love mi.. No matter wad u will not leave mi.. But nw.. The ans u giv reali affect mi alot.. Do u still love mi.. If yes.. Why won't u let mi face the prob wif you...Why... HaIz.. But anyway i wanna tell you.. I love you...

Loving sumone is easY but forgettinG sumone is difficult... Especially someone u love.. Learning to let go is the most difficult ting to do... Especially learning to let go your love one... But wad can you do but to see the person you love vanishing in front of u.. From a clear image in your life suddenly turning blur.. Den vanishinG.. Lastly disappearing.. This is the most painful pain you can experience.. To mi.. I tink it is baH... Wad can be more painful den dis.. i think nth baH... This is the most painful experience twice in my life baH... haIz.. Why is history repeating itself again and again...
Maybe wad i did was all wrong... Perharps i shouldn't start the relationship...I shuldn't start the fire i shuld sae...Starting a fire ending hurting myself.. haIz...
I reali duno wad kind of person m i.. I reali dun understanD myself..But one ting i noe.. And i m sure of is tat if i love sumone i will love sumone wholeheartly.. Unconditiontly.. TowarDs my frene i wuld identify who treat mi well, who treat mi bad.. I will show respect towards those who treat mi well.. Although other might not tink dis way.. But put yourself in my shoes...
HaIz... Everything i do nv cheer ppl up...But bring burden to others... haIz.. I m sorry huiling, hui fang... I m sorry.. I m sorry i cant be aruld wen you al needed mi.. I m sorry tO have your being unhappie wif mi.. I m sorry to spoilt your mood.. I m sorry i tend to keep quiet when i feeling down.. I m sorry i ps u al often.. I m sorry i always get u al into trouble.. I m sorry...
**VinsoN.. I m sorry.. Perharps wad i did was all wrong...I reali dun understand why tings start to work out wen we break.. Tat fridae u came to my hse den my dad suddenly cum back rite.. Den saw u rite.. He yesterdae ask mi "the wear spects one ur bf aRh".. But i juz reply "no laHz".. Why.. I feel lyk saying "last time is.. Nw break liaOz".. Why when we r together u wanna see my dad but no chance.. Wanna cum my hse oso cant.. Den nw why break le u can cum my hse.. Den u oso saw my dad.. Why.. Why tings turn out lidat.. HaIz.. I m sorry.. Wad i did was all wrong.. I m not good enough fer you.. Forget abt mi thoroughly baH... Dun bcos of mi affect your future.. Go bah.. Dun care abt mi le.. But i juz wanna tell you.. Although u may not love mi or care abt mi.. But when you need mi i will alwayz be dere.. I love you.... =<

Loving sumone is easY but forgettinG sumone is difficult... Especially someone u love.. Learning to let go is the most difficult ting to do... Especially learning to let go your love one... But wad can you do but to see the person you love vanishing in front of u.. From a clear image in your life suddenly turning blur.. Den vanishinG.. Lastly disappearing.. This is the most painful pain you can experience.. To mi.. I tink it is baH... Wad can be more painful den dis.. i think nth baH... This is the most painful experience twice in my life baH... haIz.. Why is history repeating itself again and again...
Maybe wad i did was all wrong... Perharps i shouldn't start the relationship...I shuldn't start the fire i shuld sae...Starting a fire ending hurting myself.. haIz...
I reali duno wad kind of person m i.. I reali dun understanD myself..But one ting i noe.. And i m sure of is tat if i love sumone i will love sumone wholeheartly.. Unconditiontly.. TowarDs my frene i wuld identify who treat mi well, who treat mi bad.. I will show respect towards those who treat mi well.. Although other might not tink dis way.. But put yourself in my shoes...
HaIz... Everything i do nv cheer ppl up...But bring burden to others... haIz.. I m sorry huiling, hui fang... I m sorry.. I m sorry i cant be aruld wen you al needed mi.. I m sorry tO have your being unhappie wif mi.. I m sorry to spoilt your mood.. I m sorry i tend to keep quiet when i feeling down.. I m sorry i ps u al often.. I m sorry i always get u al into trouble.. I m sorry...
**VinsoN.. I m sorry.. Perharps wad i did was all wrong...I reali dun understand why tings start to work out wen we break.. Tat fridae u came to my hse den my dad suddenly cum back rite.. Den saw u rite.. He yesterdae ask mi "the wear spects one ur bf aRh".. But i juz reply "no laHz".. Why.. I feel lyk saying "last time is.. Nw break liaOz".. Why when we r together u wanna see my dad but no chance.. Wanna cum my hse oso cant.. Den nw why break le u can cum my hse.. Den u oso saw my dad.. Why.. Why tings turn out lidat.. HaIz.. I m sorry.. Wad i did was all wrong.. I m not good enough fer you.. Forget abt mi thoroughly baH... Dun bcos of mi affect your future.. Go bah.. Dun care abt mi le.. But i juz wanna tell you.. Although u may not love mi or care abt mi.. But when you need mi i will alwayz be dere.. I love you.... =<

Name: Rhowena Chia(Rho)
Age: 21 years old
Date of Birth: May18 1989
Horoscope Sign: Taurus

Foods do wonders! And makes me happy too! ((:






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