Ways to earn money?

Hello everyone

It definitely has been a while! It is now 2017 and my last post was 2014! I was talking about my dating life and all. Now I am married! :) To the very same person I had trouble with last! :P

I am currently in university pursuing my Master's degree in Biotech, but.. I am dependant on my husband! I feel bad and I dont want to feel that way. I am searching for a way to find a job that I can do at home (He doesn't wan me to work part time because I need to focus at school.. )
But I need it, at least for my expensive cosplay hobby ya know??!! :)

Please if anyone has a suggestion, let me know
It will be very very much appreciated :) 

Dissapointment

Nowadays, I have been dissapointed so much I don't know what to do anymore. Maybe my expectations was so high up, I'd expected everything to be what I expected. When it didn't happened the way I thought it would go... I am dissapointed. For example, humans interactions are so hard to predict.. So very hard.
For once you though, maybe if you're being a nice person enough, you'd expect the same thing in return. But no, definitely not.. Didn't go the way I'd thought it would..
So many times in a month now. I guess it is time for me to step back a little.

First my ex landlady, who was such a nice lady. I moved because of some misunderstanding, well, I also wantd a place of my own because her place is too dirty for my cats to live in. (They have fleas... And I had to treat them). I mean the place is very hard to take care of, not that the landlady didn't try to clean the place or anything. Just.. Dirty, if you know what I mean. I had to leave, so my cats can get rid of the fleas. And indeed, they were rid of fleas when I moved. I'm really glad..
Back to the topic though..
Since I moved, I got a new bed..the old one grew mold since it was sitting in her garage (not climate controlled) wrapped in my bed sheet. Totally my fault for thinking that the bed sheet would keep it away from shits. It was molded, it was dirty and beyond my ability to save it. So I decided to buy a new one... When I moved, I left the bed there..in the garage.
So sat,26th was a heavy trash day.. I texted my ex roommate aka landlady if I could leave the bed outside so they could pick it up. I asked real nicely. I said, it's heavy trash day, can I put the bed outside so it can be picked up? She said, have at it. I said thnk you. That day came, I put the bed outside for a day.. I put it out Friday evening, since the trash day was Saturday 10-3. To my surprise, they didn't take it... Much dissapointment there. But my bigger dissapointment comes from my landlady... The next day. SUNday

Quote

Come today to remove your bed from my lawn. Neighbors are angry. The grass will suffocate,the city will fine me $125, do this today, do not disturb me, I have store this for you for nearly four months.

End quote..
Ok, so I know the city will fine you. I apologized for that. But it was a Sunday. The city won't work on Sunday! Why can't she jus ask me nicely???? The first thing I read in a text is that text.. I apologize to have to make her keep it in the garage which she doesn't even need for few months.. Not like I am making her keep it forever... I jus need to find a place to throw it. But she doesn't have to be mad about it...I mean she so so rude... I am so so disappointed... To think that, she is 70years old.. You think she'd seen enough of life to be ok with stuff, to be nice to people.... I was upset because the way she said it makes me feel like, I should not even be nice to her. I mean I always have thought, treat people how you want to be treated. No?

Major dissapointment.

Next, my good friend that I haven t seen for a few months... Thought were gonna hang out, but turns out she had a hangover and went back home, without telling it to me until it's too late. She didn't even take time to apologize to me. Jus a simple, I'm sorry I went back home because I have hangover! Even when I said I am dissapointed, she didn't even say anything anymore... I'd expect so much from her but apparently I am wrong....

Then comes my dating life. I think we're going too fast for this.. I really think that. I mean..I don't know. I'd expected him to be...better.. You know, like.. Maybe not watching porn (heck I think this is impossible....)
Or...maybe not save pictures of naked ladies..in his phone....I think it is so wrong. So wrong. I am so disappointed......then he kept comparing himself with other men who is worse than him..like, ok he doesn't cheat, he doesn't chat with other girls, he doesn't ask his girl friend for naked pictures.. The pictures in his phone are all strangers.. He said he is about 90th percentile of the men.. He's like the top .. He tried his best..
 I told him though... That he's always comparing it someone worse than him, he didn't think they will be guys that are better than him..
I still feel like it's wrong... So we had a little fight, but I am dissapointed.  I am thinking... To ask him.. If I ever found someone who is better than him what would he do? What would I do if he did the same?
I think my answer would be, of course, I'll cry hard about it.... About losing him, about not being able to compete with the lady he chose... But I'd have to accept it eventually.. Even if I am reluctant to...

Dating Life

Hi

I admit I haven't been on for so long.. It's been so long since my last post, I think, right?
Anyway it's the new year of 2014 already, can you believe it? That's tough.. .I'm getting older and older! D: And as you can see, I started this when it was 2009. Thank you blogspot for being still here. This blog is practically the only thing I can confide in something about love.

As you can see I am telling you the truth that I have experienced here, on my dating life, or love life, whatever you wanna call it.

My first boyfriend is S-H (should I really say he was my bf?) It lasted 3 days, lol.. I still wished though, somehow, someday soon, we would get back together.. but, heck.. I think it's because I never experienced it, and that's why I yearned to go back in time to start all over again.
It all happen end of July of 2006, Canteen Day for my high school. I heard about him since few years back. How? I have been told that he likes me since a few years back. Well, I though, hey, if he likes me enough, why didn't he come over and tell me that? I assure you, I never had anyone confessed to me before (well except for one..) so..I heard so much about him.. and I kinda like him, I mean, why didn't he???
I am not the type to make a first move, so I waited and waited, and at that time I was in love for 4 years! Wasted my time in someone who would not reciprocate my love.. Well, because.. like I said, I am not the type to make the first move. You gotta know.. how many times I wrote a love letter, wanting to put it in his locker, but I never found the courage to.. Never.. I couldn't do it. I have no idea why.
I often thought to myself, that's because I'm fat (well I've been told I  was, and still am.. oh well.... )
So that day came, he didn't show up on Canteen day. Somehow.. I hav his number, so I texted him. HEY, WHY ARE YOU NOT IN SCHOOL?

Then as conversation goes.. he asked me "over the text" to be his girlfriend. OK YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY I WAS........
Over the weekend, I was hopeful, wanting and waitin for his, how's your day text, how are you text but none..... :(
I was upset. On Monday.. we met, but we didn't dare to go near each other.. I dont know.. I was too shy, he was too shy.. I dont know.. Somehow, I wish he sees this, and he can tell me really clearly what it is. But he did tell me a few times already. If we could turn back time, we would start over again/ But everything he said, it just never goes into me. Everytime I wish, I could be with him.

From then on, I think I started to back up a little in my love life. I have confessions, oh yes, I think tonnes of it that I dont even remember now.. cute confessions.. but nver one that can take up my heart.. So far, I have never really been in love after that..

Second boyfriend was ZH. He was nice, I guess.. BUT THE MOST INFURIATING  is that.. he was late on our first date to a symphone. ON MY BIRTHDAY. He was close to an hour late (maybe 30-45 mins). NO FLOWERS for my birthday.. sigh.. I was upset, and dissappointed. Why am I even with him? Was what my mind all about. I went to TAIWAN after that (or before, I dont remember) I wanted to text him everyday, talk to him.. I guess he's just not that affectionate enough. I also heard that he wasn't as good with time as I would like him to be. As in, when he said he would meet someone at 6am (my best friend), he didn't even wake up until 10am!!! my friend waited for HIM forever since 6am!!! Anyway, broke up a little after that...

Third boyfriend was D. I can tell, he LOVED me very much. Very very much.. That I have no idea how to handle him. However, the thing I didn't like about him was.. well he's a nice kid and all. But he plays video game whole day? I dont know.. I didn't know. I should not have said that. It was my impression of him. He could be my firends but I dont think I will want him to be my boyfriend.

Fourth boyfriend, W. From Zoosk since Nov 2011 to Feb 2012. Too fast too fast. First kiss was to him. I guess I have to remember him because I have to remember who I gave my first kiss to?
He was in such rush that I couldn't take it anymore so we broke up.. Part of the reason, I lived so far than his intended city, so I felt bad. That, and he worked in Sears.. HAHA sorry I am kinda looking down.. but.. :(

Fifth, is J. Very logical, practical guy. I loved him, yes but I guess it wasn't like a real bf gf love. I knew he loved me. I knew he would do anything. But he's got so many things on his plate, I wouldn't wanna be the one to have him spill something else bc of me. Anyway, he has said many hurtful things to me, even though it was jsut a long distance relationship. Everytime he apologized, his words are the going into me. My guts are telling me, No, STOP. He hurt you before he willl hurt you again, even though he didn't mean to...
Now he's plannig to come over, at least to stay with me.

 So that's the end of dating life for me. 5 bfs.. all but one I am not very close with.. It hurt when I first broke up (yea it was jus a 3 days relationship but...) so I am sorry for those who have LOVED me before. I failed to be your one.. I am sorry I was not ready for a relationship but jumped into one anyway with you. I thank you for all your time and help for helping me grow. I hope my future relationship will be a good and steady one.

Thanks..

Hateful Love

So much for this..
So much for the problem rosed..
I feel suffocated.. I guess I am just not ready for a relationship yet..
This guy, I love, somehow I feel his love, but it's... a different one.
I do not understand this, but I kept telling myself that this is true love. And yes, he was my number 1 option, but it doesn't seem to me that he is the one now..

After what happened the last weekend..
I felt suffocated, I felt anxiety, I felt depressed, though I may not show it..
It was all my fault to begin with anyway.. but I still felt the sting he left behind my heart
And I dont think I will ever recover from that.

Of course, I would never compare to his childhood friend, hell I'd never thought of it. But when he says "if you unfriend him, we will break up. I am not threatening"

I think this is too much for me, especially when he hurt me verbally (also my fault for 'itching' him to). Now, two wounds joined and became a deep wound.. I dont think I will recover from that as long as I am with him.

We are far and yet so close.. I thought this would last forever, But I guess it won't..
I love him, love him too much, but I guess I love myself more.. I am not getting myself hurt like this again. 

Lost in the Sea of Love.

Well well.. See where I am now..
I complained about not getting a job.. now I've got an internship over at someplace for research.
It felt good and noble for me.. researching drugs and cure.. That was awesome. But only for the summer and I am thinking of a way to extend my stay there.

However, I kept thinking, (again) Back to him. (again)
What can I do? It has been 7 freaking years and I still couldn't let this go. I know I know, I'm sure he already has move on long time ago (Ok, I'm not sure about this but let's assume he had for my sake.).. It's just me that couldn't give this up.
I sometimes hate this part of mine.. Why do I have to feel like that?

Seriously,  I kept thinking back again and again, what would I have done if we got together..
Or what will I do if I see him again. I know I will give him 7 years worth of hug for sure.. lol!
I wouldn't wanna let him go for sure... Haha!

But he's so far away and he'll never hear what I have to say.
He'll never know... unless of course, I tell him. (Thanks again INTERNET!)
But... Would I want him to know? Would I be prepared to face rejection? Would I stop once he said 'No, dont bother me anymore' or "We have nothing to do with each other anymore' or WORSE 'I already have a girlfriend, you're very persistent and desperate'.
Lord I dont know what to do. I'm still missing him like crazy. I couldn't let it go. What can I do? I've passed many boyfriends and none of them stick because I just couldn't accept them.
If it were him.. I think I would accept any part of him, but hey, that's just my ideal view of everything in my life. I have that problem too..
But seriously, I wouldn't mind sleeping with him (which means losing my virginity? Sorry that sounds a little prudent there..)
I'm so in love, or were lost in love that I couldn't find it back. Lost in the sea of love.

I want to be with him, stupid me for being so in love with him!
Will he return my love? Will he look at me the same way again? Will I be with him? Be with my first love?

First love always hurt, always remember that.....

Idols

It was long ago.. I had this feeling. It was so far away that I felt this. But it all came back to me. This time, it's different person. Oh, that is why I kinda dislike idols, movie stars etc..
Now I am part of the crazy fan club.... T-T

Benedict Cumberbatch!
He's my idol now. I felt that I have known him long long ago. I felt that he is my best friend that never talks to me. Why do I have to feel this way??
I felt like I've seen him, even though I didn't go anywhere near Europe. I know he comes over to the US.. but I am 100% I've never seen him my real life...

I also heard he's a son of a bitch! He's arrogant. And he dumped his 12 year old girlfriend once he reached his peak, Olivia Poulet. But my heart tells me otherwise. He doesn't love her anymore?
He also split up with Anna Jones, fashion designer and currently going out with someone else? I wonder, if I will see him, face to face, soon? HAH, I am dreaming..!

My crazy fan crush is causing me to stalk him. I am so so sorry, I apologize for this behavior of mine.

I am thinking to write him a letter, you know, just to get it all out. Maybe once a month, until I'm bored of it. lol. I don't care if he gets it or not.. Just writing it, so I have made the first step.

My first letter would be handwritten by me. (It's been so long since I have penpal!!!! Not like he's gonna reply but oh well.. :P)

Dear Benedict,

This is very random from me, as I woke up one morning, I had this feeling I've known you for a long time. Please do not freak out, I am not going to search for you, heck, I don't even know if this is going to reach you. Anyway, I am just writing, for the sake of writing, because it has been so long since I've had a penpal and it sounds awesome for the moment.

I know how it feels to have no reach your goal yet. Same goes for me. I will be applying for a doctorate degree in Chemistry in Autumn of 2014. Hard ladder for me to climb up the professional route. Good news for me is, I have accepted a summer internship over at an institution (MD Anderson) where they are looking for cancer cure (for all types of cancer, can you believe it?? :D) I'm halfway there to achieving my goal I believe, to contribute to the society!
I am very excited about my summer internship and I will work hard on it. :)
I loved your Sherlock Holmes show and I loved Khan in Star Trek, you did well. I'm sure you could do better and achieve your goal! Not like I have any experience in drama myself, but I know you can do it, because you have the spirits of wanting to get better! :)

Pardon my long message, and good luck!

Sincerely,

Anne

there you have it, I'm done! :P

Appreciation

It was the first time.. I feel so appreciative.
It was the first time, I felt so contented from being love by someone other than my boyfriend and my parents.

Thank you "y'all" from ABC day school. It was a great time working with "y'all"! I learnt so much by just being there.. I will miss you so so much, please do miss me very very alot too! :D
Even if it's just a short time, I appreciate all the help you've given me, and pardon me for all the mistakes that I've made.

It's the first time I've heard "Good answer" for so many times in a day too.. lol
In this interview I had with Quest Vapco, he asked me how would I rate my problem solving skill, I said, pretty good, above average, which earned me a "good answer"

Then at tonight's dinner, Ms Kim would ask me how I like working with kids.. I said "made me feel older" and they laughed and said "good answer.."

Today is a good day for me and I dont want to forget it therefore I am writing it down. :)

Anyway, Ms S-y gave me a gift as well. A mirror, with an owl picture on the back. With a card that says (I am writing it down, in case I lose the card)

Dearest Anne,

Not only are you lovely, you are "wise as an owl" about your place in this life which I find very refreshing. To those who have raised you, I send praises. <3 miss="" p="" shirley.="">PS. I will miss you and your smile!

I will miss you too. This is what I will write to Ms Shirley.

Dear Ms Shirley

Thank you so much for your love! Your love for me makes me feel very appreciated. Even though I didn't get to work with you much, you have been really sweet to me.

Thank you again. I will miss you very much as well. :)
Please DO take care of yourself! I will come over to visit often! Or if you would like to, please call me
832-235-6167 or email anneyau22@gmail.com. :D

For Ms Kim
Dear Ms Kim

Thank you so much for your time and patient to work with me. I learned so much just by working with you. I appreciate all the help you have given me. Please pardon all the mistakes that I made during the time I am working with you.
PS. Thanks for the food as well! :D

For Ms Lacey
Dear Ms Lacey

Thank you very much for working with me and being patient with me. I know my accent is weird, I am glad that you understand me. XD
I learned so much by working with you and it's very interesting. :P
I appreciate all the help you have given me. It was a great pleasure working with you.

Anyway I have written a few stuff for Ms Aubrie/ Ms Diana and Ms Jenifer as well as Grandma~

They are really nice.. :)

Happy new 2012!!!!

New year resolutions! Coming up soon!

3rd January 2012

New year with new resolutions.. What I need every year, and what I'll do.

New resolutions!!!! No more asking for a boyfriend!! I'll let it be, let it come, let it go, whatever it is.. But of course I'll still think about it! Just not as much..

All I have to do now is to focus on my studies..getting full A is my main priority to get honors in my graduation..

1. Full A in my whole academic year. 4.0 gpa

2. Make sure I have enough volunteer points as well as experience points by the end of the year. 

3. Look for a job by end of the year, no idea how much the salary is annually, but it should be fine. 

4. My always resolution, lose 20 lbs and maintain it!!! Can I can I? Hahah

5. I don't have much time reading novels anymore, but I'll still have time to at least finish my : a. Assassin creed, b. little big planet 2, c. Dragon age 1, d.star ocean.

6. Boyfriend? I won't think that much anymore, but I'll promise myself that I will give a chance to whoever I think he's fine who comes to me.

My fine means, he's nice, maybe a friend of mine, mayb an acquaintance, who knows.  At least a dinner date. I would say at least that guy have to be able to offer me a ride, not be Late!!!!

7. Elegant woman, independent lady are what my aim for...

Thats all I guess. I hope it's not much, at least I toned down after last year... I think.. Lol!!!