My heart is fighting a battle; a battle that it has fought many times before.

You see I love being overseas, and I miss India terribly. And I am excited beyond many people’s comprehension about going to Nicaragua and being able to lead a children’s ministry team in March. But there is part of my heart that is here in Greensboro in Glenwood. I work with the youth here in Glenwood and esp. the teenage girls. It seems that God just cont. to make more and more room in my heart. My human love ran out a LONG TIME AGO, but that is what makes this so beautiful is that Jesus cont. to fill me up with His love and invites me to be a vessel to show His love to others.


So the battle lies here… I have come back to Greensboro and I see the kids faces at tutoring, I hear on van rides the stories about a boy in middle school that has a baby on the way. I hear the girls cont. to cut each other down and talk about how much they want to “teach someone a lesson”… and then I see a young girl climb in the van with a hurt look in her eyes, I see two boys get face to face in an argument yet inside they are dyeing to be told that they are good, that they are loveable, that they are worth it, and have what it takes to be a man. And I think to myself these are the “invisible” orphans of Greensboro of Glenwood. How many times society wishes them away or just turns a deaf ear. And it makes my heart break…it breaks the same way it did in India when I was working in the orphanage. Because these children have the same common denominator- (They want to love and be loved…and they don’t know how or have lost all hope that it is possible for “them”).

What am I battling? I am battling the feelings of being “invisible” too now that I am back in the States. I am battling wanting to talk to people about India and find support for the orphans, while in the same conversations I want to talk about Glenwood. Battling the feelings that I have to choose one over the other…even though God has made it clear that both India and Glenwood are to be in my heart at the same time…it is just hard to talk about and it make sense. (Of course I don’t really know b/c this is my first attempt. )

So I started this blog and it was really long… but I erased it and decided to just write this…

I miss India. I am feeling a little lost at the moment. I know that I am supposed to be back and be here. God spoke amazing things to me while I was in India, and I am glad that I am here but it is still hard. I didn’t have culture shock when I went to India but I sure have it now. :)

Please pray for my transition time back. Thanks.

OK I promise these blogs will get longer…heeheehee

Greetings from the USA,

I am back home in Greensboro!!!!!! A day later then planned but all is well :) and I am SUPER TIRED. So I will write more tomorrow. Good night/morning/Day can't wait to see every one :).

Stay Tuned more blogs about India, life here in G-boro, and Nicaragua (in March) to come.

Preparing to come back…

My heart is a rollercoaster today. There are tears that I keep laughing away.

I tried to go shopping to bring back gifts but shopping in India is no “trip to Wal-Mart” after 1 hour and only having found gifts for my younger brothers I headed back to the orphanage, to be here with the kids.

I know this place that I am in emotionally very well. I have been here many times.1st time was in the Dominican Republic in 1997 and many countries since. It was this way when I went to MERCY and said good-bye (for a time) to the families, and my friends in Glenwood. It come from loving with abandonment and asking Jesus to fill you up so that you can love even more...even though you know you will one day have to say good-bye.

I am ready to come home to the USA to Greensboro to work in Glenwood. I am going to MISS INDIA terribly, but I have a peace that I can not put in words that assures me that I will be back here soon.

This brings me to the end of my blogging from India. Tomorrow I will catch the early train to Chennai and then will be traveling by plane for the next 24+ hours.

My heart has grown while I have been here. My vision has expanded and my Love for my Lord / my JESUS is stronger.


Fun at the beach


An Emotion filled picture, as I stand on a mountain looking down at the ocean and the local fishermen and remember the Tsunami that happened not so long ago.


Me and my freshmen college class. (Hmmmm I look to young to be the teacher!)



Boys being boys

Hi everyone I will be traveling to another city today and will be back in Eluru on the 17th. So most likely no updates until then. :)


** This picture is for FOX! ** It has nothing to do with the above information. I just was reading my Bible last night and took a picture. :)

A Day to be Remembered

Come with me to a small village. In a small hut with a thatched roof and a dirt floor, is a young woman with dreams in her heart that she is afraid to express. It is the lot of this young woman like a thousand others to live her whole life here in these four walls and within the limits of her village. Traditions and rituals are all she knows, marriage is quickly approaching and her dreams are slowly fading.

Her parents took a bold step. Her brother was willing to drive his sister for miles through the country side, for the chance that she may have a different future and with hope that the smile that he so well remembers will dawn her face once again.

She like 20 other girls have arrived here at ECBC for a 6 months Vocational Training Course, where they learn Tailoring, Computer Skills and Spoken English. The girls are painfully shy as their eyes stay looking at the floor during orientation.

Now 6 months later it is graduation for the first class of ECBC’s Vocational Training Courses. The girls have are all laughing together and talk to the staff and college students with ease. They have learned English amazingly fast and we spend time together as often as we can. The library is an assortment of colors today as their tailoring skills have paid off and their work is displayed. There is laughter as one story after another is told how they were terrified of the computer when they first come, but now they LOVE it and hope that they can get more training.

Among the life skills that they have learned there is a true transformation that is undeniable even to their families. There is a light in these girls’ eyes that was not there before, and that light is JESUS. “I didn’t know there was a living God, a one true God, now I do and it has changed me!” One girl tells me, as I interview each eager graduate (They all want to tell there story).

ECBC Vocational Training Courses was born out of a desire that the Lord placed in Pastor Jeevan’s heart to see young Indian woman grow into who God created them to be. To show them that they are not inferior to the boys but that God has a perfect and beautiful plan for their lives.

I am thankful for the time that I have been allowed to spend with this group of girls. There were many tears as each girl said goodbye to her new friends and family. Many will be returning to a very dark environment. But it will be different this time because they have hope, they have the light of Jesus. They realize now that they have a voice, and that many brothers and sisters in the Lord are praying for them.

It was a bitter-sweet day.

First of all thank you to all of you that have been praying for my health. The migraine has finally begun to ease today and I can think with out my head pounding. :) It is hard enough in the States to explain a migraine and to try to explain I just need to be in the dark and to sleep…it is 200x harder to explain in India. (Lol) I think I scared some people here because I was so sick. But eventually it was ok, I explained that this has happened before and that I know what to do (I’m a pro!) hahaha… Please do cont. to pray though that these migraines would dissipate for good, while they have decreased drastically I still occasionally get them.

The Power of a Song


So the past few days I have not been able to play with the children 6 stones (a great game!) So I invited them inside and explained they needed to be quite and we listened to music on my CD player. Each child took turns picking out a CD.

Then it was Sony’s turn…She picked the cd “Come and Listen” that had songs on it from a Dance Fundraiser that we had for my dear friends the Byers before they left for Germany. I turned it on for her and then got distracted with talking to another child.

A few minutes later I heard a “sigh”. I looked over to see Sony with the speaker to her ear and tears in her eyes. She looked up at me and said one simple yet profound word, “Beautiful”. The Chorus was playing “This is what it means to be held, how it feels when the sacred is torn from your life and you survive. This is how it feels to be loved and to know that when everything fell you’d be H-E-L-D…”
Sony does not know what the words to this “English” song mean but you could see in her eyes that her spirit did. Just as ungodly music brings darkness to our souls, Godly music brings hope to our hearts even if it is another language.

Sony has listened to this song countless times since the first time. :) It is now known as "Sony’s Song" among the children here. Love crosses over all barriers…


Pictures of the children listening to music. :)



Pravallika talking into my guitar tuner and making different notes show with her voice!

Dear Friends and Family,

PRAYER REQUEST: I have a Migraine today. Please pray for healing and rest. thanks :)

Tribal Villages


Yesterday we traveled to two Tribal Village Churches and one small prayer meeting. I was a little nervous before we left, just because I wasn’t really sure what to expect and knew that the people would be very curious about me and that my “comfort zone” and “personal space” was soon to be innocently invaded.

***Side Note*** It took a good while to get there, but I love riding in the jeep in the day time through the city or country side. I think that I could live here the rest of my life and never get a fill of the beauty and the colors!


So we finally arrived at the first church and there were curious children peeking through the bushes but would not come out of hiding. But as I began taking pictures of them and then walking slowly up and holding out my camera so they could see themselves on the screen, there were many giggles and soon I was surrounded. :) Cameras are a blessed barrier breaker!

After I spoke in the 1st church the ladies brought the most colorful out fit up to me and asked if I would like to try it on and dance with them. (Jeevan translating of course!) My answer… Yes of Course! It was so much fun as I wore the tribal garments over my own and the ladies kept trying to keep the headdress from falling off my head (This was very funny to them, as my hair is much more slick then their own, so they never have had this much trouble making it stay…finally someone had a safety pin and the “American was ready”.





We danced. They sang. The congregation smiled and clapped to the beat.

The day was long and defiantly out my comfort zone. But it was wonderful and I am beginning to see that I love living out of my comfort zone, I believe God created me for life so far out of my comfort zone I can’t even imagine it sometimes!


(Child Pumping Water at the Church)


Natural Speed Bumps (Water Buffolo)

I would love to hear from you all even if it is only hi! Hint-Hint :) thanks!

Sheep and Goats



As we were traveling yesterday in to the country side and mountain region of Hyderabad There were flocks of sheep and goats everywhere and many were walking in the streets not disturbed at all that we were blaring our horn trying to make them move:).

Have you ever seen a shepherd or shepherdess leading sheep of goats? It is very interesting! A shepherd of sheep walks in front and the sheep will follow him or her to the next pasture. But, a shepherd of goats must walk behind or in the middle of the goats to keep them moving. They have no respect for the shepherd when he/she calls them, so the Shepard must “make” them go the right way with his/her staff.

After having learned this interesting fact from Jeevan I was fascinated. Every time we passed a flock I tested the theory and sure enough it was true every time. The sheep followed and kept pace. Yet, the goats were stubborn as anything thinking that they knew what was best and would walk in the opposite direction or just stop walking period!

Does it surprise you at all that God compares us to sheep and goats and that as His children we are to be sheep? The greatest desire of my heart…is to be a faithful sheep! But, how many times I have behaved like a goat, thinking that I know an “easier” or “better” way! May we all remember who we are today. If we are sheep let’s begin to follow and stop acting like a goat:). And if we are a goat, there is hope for God said, “That to all who call upon His name He gave the right to be called children of God.” You can be a sheep! It is your choice!

*** As we were driving down to road I told Jeevan that I had always wanted a little lamb for a pet. :) His immediate response…”Do you want a picture with a lamb? Her get your camera out we will stop at the next flock!” And so we did! :) My little Lamb! *Hee-hee.*

A Beautiful Day


Today was Beautiful. Not just because of the weather but because of the two women that were baptized today in a small pond. To proclaim in public that you are a follower of Jesus Christ is much different here in India then it is at home in America. You face rejection and persecution… you become an outcast in most cases. It is believed here that Christianity is a caste, and one of the lower castes at that.

Can you even begin to comprehend how it is to belong to the Brahma Priest Caste (one of the highest castes) and then to come to know Jesus. To study to become a pastor knowing all the time that you are giving up the privilege of the upper caste to join in “society’s eyes” a very low caste?

How difficult it is for an elderly woman to make the decision to follow Christ knowing that in her old age her family may very well reject her and she will have not where to go or to live.

Today as I stood as a witness with other believers my heart was full of joy and of questions. How different would my life be if I lived here, if I was born here and a native of India? Would my faith be strong? Would I step out even in the midst of rejection? I believe that I am growing b/c in my heart I honestly believe the answers to these questions would be “Yes”.

As I am here and witnessing the impossible becomes possible…my mind travel across the ocean to a small neighborhood called “Glenwood”. As I see the youth here I think about the Youth in Glenwood. The trials that they over come our different, but not all that different. God is a God of the Impossible! While I LOVE being here…tonight my heart is full with hope and expectancy for the children and youth of Glenwood.

Our God is a big God so I am dreaming Big! My heart’s desire is to see lives transformed… Here in India….In Nicaragua in March…and in Glenwood this year!

Computer Classes

The past few days when I have a block of about 30 min I have had the privilege of teaching Glory (Jeevan’s wife) a few computer skills. We have set up her an e-mail account and have practiced navigating to the page and learning how to send e-mails and save contacts’ names. It sounds simple to us that have grown up with technology, but as I am teaching it step by step I realize how much have taken my knowledge of technology for granted.

I really enjoy this time that I am able to spend with her and teach her something that is useful. (Jeevan travels at times out of the country to surrounding Asian countries, so now she can e-mail him!)

Please remember Glory in your prayers. She is such a hard working woman. She has 2 children of her own but also 20 orphans and college students. Every meal that is cooked is a meal for 90+ people. It is all done with a joyful spirit that amazes me. I look up to her so much and want to learn as much as can from her while I am here about being a “Servant Leader”.

Dear Unbelieving Teens,

This is for all of you that did not believe my brother when he told you that “water buffalos” are not the same as “cows” here in India. You really should listen to James because he is a genius and I am not just saying that b/c I am his sister! OH by the way water buffalo is really yummy, but a little tough. Well one month for me and I will get to eat a hamburger :).

Sincerely the genius’ sister,
Suzanne

Meet Pravallika



Pravallika is 10 years old. She and her brother, Vickram, are new here at East Coast Children’s Home. Pravallika is a shy girl with many talents. She can draw beautiful pictures using an art form here in India where they draw pictures by connecting a certain number of dots forming a perfectly symmetrical picture (sorry do not know the name). She is at the top of her class in her new school she attends with the other orphans and enjoys learning. She wants to be a doctor when she grows up. :)

Of all the talents this beautiful young girl has there is one that brought me to tears last night. Last night she sang a song for us called “Child Labor” (She won first place at her school when she sang this song for some government officials.).

***Jeevan had heard the song before and so he translated for me***

In this song a child a singing to anyone who will listen and then ends with the child singing to his/her parents. It talks about how the child’s parents had borrowed money from a rich man in their village and could not pay it back and so now the child was his “slave” until the debt was paid. She wishes to go school but is stuck in the cycle of poverty. She has worked for many years yet still the debt is not paid. The song ends with the child begging her parents to help her and to allow her to go school.

I honestly do not think that anyone could here this dear one sing this and know what the words are and not be moved.

Pravallika is in need of a sponsor for $25 a month. When I return to the states I will have children’s pictures and sponsor forms for anyone that is interested.

Please pray for the children and for the staff here at W.O.N.


Study Time for the Children!





Vocational Training Classes

W.O.N. offers a 6 month Vocation Training Course to girls that are interested in learning skills that will help improve their quality of living. They girls are taught Computer, Spoken English, and Tailoring. I really enjoy spending time with them and just talking and learning about their lives. Today I sat in on their tailoring class. There was about 20 girls in a small crowded room all sitting on the floor. But everyone was laughing, learning, sewing, and joking. How wonderful our God is that He blesses and encourages us to teach others using our gifts so that we may glorify Him while serving others.

Welcome Year 2008!

“It’s a new season. It’s a new day. Fresh anointing is coming our way…”
– Israel New Breed

Usually on New Years Eve I am not excited or really feel anything, it is just another year, another day. The only thing that is different is that I have to remember to write the new date. :)

This year is different. It is 2008! The date has no special meaning except that I am so very grateful to be alive and well. This year is different because I am beginning it FREE…free from shame and free from the past. The past does not define this year to come. My God has given me a fresh start. :)I have high hopes for this coming New Year. Even when trials come I know that with my God I can overcome. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my God loves me. Even when things are unexplainable I can trust Him.

So welcome year 2008! I do not know what you hold, but that is ok b/c my God holds me and will never leave me and will be with me through the joy and the tears that you may bring. I am looking forward to REALLY living this year!


How we welcomed in the New Year…

7pm-11pm – Worship and special songs (The Church was packed)
11:00pm-11:50pm - Jeevan Preached
11:50-12:30am – Worship and Prayer
12:30-1am – I gave the “New Year” Message
1am-2am – Skits, Dances, and B-day cake for Glory’s B-day
2am-2:30am- Wishing Happy New Year and talking
3am – Wonderful Sleep!




Drawing with powered chalk on the dirt road a “Welcome Year 2008 Sign”


A student from the Bible College drawing a HUGE detailed star on the road!



When you can’t get rid of your enemies then become friends with them. Thus, the naming of the lizard that lives in my room… Meet “Fred” (The other night though he invited a friend over ‘without my permission’ and I was not happy!)

P.s. He is staring at me right now…as long as he stays on his side of the room I will be ok.


Every night we have been traveling to different villages to hold Christmas services. This is one of the darling girls that traveled from the village we were at the week before to come to another service. “Beautiful”




Saris are lovely to look at but a Punjabi is my favorite it is soooooooo comfortable!


Praveen and I (Faith’s Sponsor Child)