hmm..

Nothing special occured this week. Plain old boring stuffs.
Was anticipating for my results to be out but did not receive the mail.
But is very happy that my friends did well (:
Hope I'll be fine too.

Life is pretty much the same. Wake up in the morning and look at the busy ppl and go to work joining the busy ppl. Working life is different from studying life afterall.
Guess i shouldn't complain much.
Hmm.. i dunoe what got into me lately but i'm so not me.
Not so energetic, not so hyper, not so fun. Am i feeling too tired, i wonder?

I think i should start sleeping earlier so I can be more focused during work.
Everyone's gonna clear their leave but im still stuck at work till sept.
Working is okie.. but I just find no meaning doing routined, useless admin stuffs.
I guess i prefer ops, controlling aircraft but I know that after i grad, ops life is gonna be insane again not to forget the additional secondary appointments.
So what am i really looking forward to? Nothing..

Anyway, i visited the MINDEF Dental Centre today. The dentist was very friendly.. but very scary at the same time too. He was cleaning my teeths and at the end of the process, he passed me a mirror and asked me to smile. When i smile i saw blood all over and he told me now your teeths are beautiful and clean. Like wth... blood n gore.
I'm gonna do my wisdom tooth extraction in a month's time. Not really looking forward to it cuz i've heard stories about the pain, the blood, the cannot-eat-anything.
But well, what has to be done, has to be done anyway.

Okie, so June is over in less then 4 hrs time. July shall arrive and hope that it will be a better month for all of us! Don't wanna type too much though. Just gonna take a warm shower and have an early night on my warm bed. Take care everybody. (=


Cheers,
Casper

New Divide

The eyes have recovered since monday where i officially went back to work. Attended this workshop known as 'Leadership Development Program for Undergrad Officers'. Its an initiative from the ADA Wing for officers on vacation attachment to keep in touch with the RSAF and maintain their leadership skills. Its a 3-day course and tmr is the last day. Well, i muz say that though the course is somehow boring, we did learn quite a few important things especially from the speech given by the ADA Wing Commander. He is 1 hell good presenter who made us laughed throughly and at the same time, provide very insightful and motivational advices. But the journey to Air Force School from Bp is no joke.. bloody cab fee !&@#&^@#!

Backtrack abit... to Saturday where the entire grp went to Powerhouse. It was all the same, party, dance, pics, drink, joke. It was kinda fun esp so when a few of us headed over to dragonfly whereby the crowd were seriously, i mean seriously matured. I guess we r the only few ppl who got so high n danced there haha. Regardless of where we go or what we do, i really just wanna spend time wiv my friends and seeing them laugh n be happy. Real happy i hope.

Sunday was Fathers' Day. Didn't celebrate or anything.. and instead, went out wiv my bros for dinner and headed for L4D at bt timah irc lan shop. I muz comment that our teamwork for both dota and l4d has increased leaps by bounds. We must continue to work hard yea! 3 cheers & 3 cheers & 3 cheers for Dota Company!

Monday was supposed to go help gh move hse after work, but due to my shagness.. i fell aslp n nvr woke up. Sry bro.

Tuesday.. has just passed 47mins ago. Well, as usual after work, went for a haircut and travelled to bt timah irc to meet up wiv the gang and they were playing l4d. So played 1 round of dota wiv them before having our supper of tian ji porridge recommended by mr mao. It was nice but just kinda spicy. Went back home straight after a couple of smokes and here i am, feeling weird and cold and so i decided to juz blog down my shyts.

Tmr is Wednesday! The official launch of Transfomers 2 - Revenge of the fallen. Its a must watch ppl! Yea so probably gonna catch the movie after work. Time flies i guess, its already mid-week and the weekends r arriving again!

And also, i've already been back to sg for close to a month but i wonder what have i really done and what have i really learnt? nth much, just spending cash and draining my life away. Its definitely pure fun and laughters but at the end of the day, i always wonder if im still the same old me. I told myself since im back in sg, i gotta enjoy and play as much as possible, spend as much time wiv my friends before going back to the cold hell mugging hole. Indeed, i've done that or a month. Maybe its time to move on. I guess my thinking and personality have really changed quite abit ever since i went oversea to study. Not so narrow-minded now and tend to think far far more and look at things from different lens. Its only been a month and i felt that sg life is really too real. Real to the point that things become unreal. Everyone has the sg mentality, the sg thinking and doing things the sg way. I begin to wonder if i really do belong here. However, at the same time, i realized that everyone around me has really grown up. Even the ppl whom i once knew from work. Ppl started talking differently, talked more about life, talked more about career, talked more about love. Oh dear, are we really moving the next phase of our life, the twenty-somethings era?

Sad to say.. but i think we really are. And then we continue to think about what we really want in life. What do we want to achieve, what do we seek, what is our purpose? screw this shyt, i think i need to go to the church soon to get some answers. I dun hate my work, i am not over-tired, i am happy as it is, i love my family n friends and i dun have many personal problems at the moment. But, i dun feel as happy as i am when in the uk. This is my honest answer and are my true feelings. I dun feel the kind of really living thru life while i'm here. Just some personal reflections which i feel like jotting down. This sentence kinda striked me which i guess it belongs to all singaporeans. "Money cannot buy love, so i love money."

Enough of my emo speech. Now lets talk about some happy stuffs. I'm so happy to see my previous OC, Mdm Coral whom i really respected alot. She has just given birth to a cute baby boy during feb and she's all healthy and happy now! She still looked as pretty n sweet as before. I wish her all the best (=

Saturday will be all fun day. Gonna celebrate jim's birthday at his place. as usual, booze and music and laughters. Finally some catching up wiv my uk buddy.

ALright shan't blog anymore, am feeding too much in dota n getting scolded from the public idiots. Goodnight people. Lets all hope that life will improve!


With Love,
Casper

The World.

This post is meant for all the heartbrokens and heartbreakers out there.

To my friends, I know this is hard, I know it seems like you are torn apart, feels like a sharp knife piercing thru ur heart, feels like the whole world is against you, feels so f up and confused. Sometimes u got so used to it that you are already numbed and frozen. Who can see the tears and blood inside of you caused by a single word, love? And so i say, screw love..

One may argue that its a bond thingy which outside party can never understand. Some people get stucked while some ppl moved on. I'd say almost 80% are unable to carry on living happily without thinking about the person at all, the heartbreaker. If this is an issue between 2 parties which outsiders can never comprehend nor comment on, then why the fcuk are there so many ppl experiencing the same shyt? It happens again and again and again and again and worst still, occurs on all my beloved friends out there. I'd like to ask you guys to be strong and not to think about it anymore but even as a third party, I can already felt all the hidden emotions when we were out together. Smiles, laughters and happiness are just blurred images portrayed to deceive the public eyes. Inside the real you contain a broken heart, ripped apart by the heartbreaker.

I used to think that heartbreakers are cool. Famous for their cold-bloodiness and ignorance no matter what happens. Always able to get into a r/s and get out of it with just a *snap* of the fingers. Well, I used to think that they were guys. And finally i realized i may be wrong afterall. The opposite sex can be as cruel and as cold too.

(At this very instance i stopped blogging n went downstair for a smoke wiv nacio and maogui to chat about what we are best at chatting about: life n love. Funnily enough god muz haf meant for this to happen becoz my dad came down n finally, realized i smoke. Guess what happened? Well, he told me not to smoke so much and the very next min he took a cigarette from me n off he goes. So, what can i say? Alright back to the main topic..)

As much as i wanna say, im not trying to bitch, bark, rant, cry, whine or preach like someone who's experienced or an expert in this field for i doubt anyone is. I ain't no saint either. So, i was talking about the opposite sex. Well, it seems like the trend or fashion has changed from the male domain of so called 'players', 'playboys', 'bastards', 'sex maniacs', 'flirts' to the female domain which i would best conclude as 'sperms addicts'. Its kinda offensive but its meant to be funny though. Hope nobody minds. Seems like the female side is taking over and dominating!

Nonetheless, the world revolves as the ppl changes. A causes B to be upset. B became crazee and spread the virus to C. C either move on or became like B and continue spreading the disease. Its a never ending story. I sincerely feel that the world is coming to an end very very soon. With all the SARS, Swine flu, Tsunami, Aircraft missing, Terrorism and most importantly, LOVE screwing us all around, upside down, inside out, to and fro in almost every single fcuking way.

I LOVE... twist the word 'love' around and it becomes 'evol'. I intrepreted it as 'evolving' and it sounds like 'evil'(evol). So its because of the 'i' element that turns evol into evil and thus, love is portrayed as the outer image. So is love something that is continueously evolving and something evil? I smell something sninister here. *sniff*

Its up to individual perceptions to look at things from ur own standpoint or view. At this very moment i'm having a pair of sore eyes which is definitely uncomfortable but i felt that i am able to 'see' the world better than with normal eyes. As i looked upon ppl who are in pain, i felt the pain as well. Perhaps this is why sometimes they say the blind can 'see' better. (Honestly speaking, i ran out of what to say and need to go to bed now.)

Alright, my eyes have yet to recover and i'd probably take another MC tmr. Hopefully its not some serious eyes infection or else i'm really screwed. Oh yea talking about screwing, don't you guys feel that the world is already screwed enough with work causing stress and putting aside family problems, friendship problems, we thought we could find joy in love but it is constantly screwing us up? Why do ppl get emotional and sad? Why do fights break out in clubs? Why sometimes people couldn't concentrate on what they r doing? Why do people cry uncontrollably? Why do people commit suicide? Rings a bell? You know the answer.

As a final note, i just wanna wish all the heartbrokents to be happy and move on although these words r 99.9% useless. It doesn't matter what the other party think, it doesn't matter what others think, what is important is what you are thinking. 'Alter your attitude and you change your life.' The person who loves you will not make you cry and the person who made you cry ain't worth your love. Forget it if you don't wanna be killed by the love toxic.

To all the heartbreakers, you might have been part of the above category before and as a result you're like this. Nothing much to say. Nothing much to do. I just hope that we have never met. The world is round and what goes around, comes around. Move on.

1.10am now. Bedtime. Hope there ain't anymore nightmares. Shall continue blogging when i have the time. Take care everyone and try to find happiness. Seek and you will find.


With evol,
Casper

HEY YO!

Hows everyone doing? I probably wouldn't need to ask this qns cuz i've been hanging out wiv almost everybody. There are still some people which i have yet to met. Well, I muz say that life is really busy and fast-moving over here in SG. Everything is so fast-paced and i realized i can't catch up. Can't really switch back to the 8-5 working hours mode. Im so effing tired. tired of waking up so early, going to work n rot. bloody waste of time.
So i've been hanging with old and new friends alike.. mostly doing what i'm best at doing. Nevertheless, i'm pretty busy nowadays wiv merely 2 weekends as compared to the 7 weekends in UK. haha. I do miss everyone in UK and in SG and hope that everyone is doing well.

Okie, screw the sg weather and its 6.37am here. I guess i shld head to bed. Shall dream of zombies chasing after me tonight after the couple of hours lan-ing of L4D. Take care peeps and stay happy. 8)

Cheers,
Casper