Thought Cloud #20062015
I don't know where or when it started.
An hour ago, I was engaged in a conversation with my colleagues about travel. I listened intently as they regaled stories of their past adventures. After it ended, it left my curiousity growing and my urge to leave this country in search of new experiences and adventures stronger than ever.
Then, I made the fatal mistake of looking through the Instagram feed.
I swiped in great emotional pain going through photographs upon photographs of beautiful locations. New people. Adventure. Nature.
These weren't pictures taken by professional shutterbugs. They weren't people from half a world away. These were my friends. People I knew. People who are having a better time than me in some faraway land.
"No... not again."
Overwhelming envy. A strong sense of underachievement. Feeling stupid, to put it simply.
I have literally no idea how so much negativity and pessimism have invaded and taken over my mind and body.
And now a totally unrelated thing (but somehow it IS related).
I find myself really enjoying sandbox-ish games such as Skyrim and Far Cry 3 & 4. Before this, it was Diablo II. I played so much that I literally struggled to put the controller down and get on with my REAL life.
Recently, I've had one oft those ponder-in-the-shower moments on this and it somehow finally hit me.
The premise of these games were similar. You play an adventurer arriving in a land far from home. You have a series of tasks and quests to accomplish but you are completely free to explore the world around you. It isn't linear like most other games (where you are forced to be THIS or have to do THIS).
I may not look/act like it but I consider myself the adventurous type. I love exploring new places (i.e unguided tours) on my own and experiencing the world through my own actions and travels. I hate being told where to go or what to do.
I'm sorry but that's the truth. People will never get how much I resent being sent on errands that eat up my personal time for doing my own stuff. Or being told I can't do this or that for some selfish reason. Of course, it depends on the situation and my willingness.
Back to the point, I had a deep thought about why these games were so addictive while I have been known to get bored very easily and I think I've stumbled upon the answer.
These games feed my inner inclinations for adventure and freedom that my present life does not allow (yet?). In those games I am free to go anywhere and by any means. I am free to help good people or harm bad people.
I can take a car and drive to the next town. Or hike up a mountain. Explore a cave. Navigate through thick vegetation. Swim in the ocean. Even fly.
Who doesn't want to do these things?!
Some poor helpless people need help? Render assistance.
Some bad guys oppressing those poor helpless people? Shoot them in the head or run them through with a sword/spear.
Fantasy.
This is all fantasy.
I should stop living in the game world and try to set my real life straight. Perhaps then, adventure will come.
An hour ago, I was engaged in a conversation with my colleagues about travel. I listened intently as they regaled stories of their past adventures. After it ended, it left my curiousity growing and my urge to leave this country in search of new experiences and adventures stronger than ever.
Then, I made the fatal mistake of looking through the Instagram feed.
I swiped in great emotional pain going through photographs upon photographs of beautiful locations. New people. Adventure. Nature.
These weren't pictures taken by professional shutterbugs. They weren't people from half a world away. These were my friends. People I knew. People who are having a better time than me in some faraway land.
"No... not again."
Overwhelming envy. A strong sense of underachievement. Feeling stupid, to put it simply.
I have literally no idea how so much negativity and pessimism have invaded and taken over my mind and body.
And now a totally unrelated thing (but somehow it IS related).
I find myself really enjoying sandbox-ish games such as Skyrim and Far Cry 3 & 4. Before this, it was Diablo II. I played so much that I literally struggled to put the controller down and get on with my REAL life.
Recently, I've had one oft those ponder-in-the-shower moments on this and it somehow finally hit me.
The premise of these games were similar. You play an adventurer arriving in a land far from home. You have a series of tasks and quests to accomplish but you are completely free to explore the world around you. It isn't linear like most other games (where you are forced to be THIS or have to do THIS).
I may not look/act like it but I consider myself the adventurous type. I love exploring new places (i.e unguided tours) on my own and experiencing the world through my own actions and travels. I hate being told where to go or what to do.
I'm sorry but that's the truth. People will never get how much I resent being sent on errands that eat up my personal time for doing my own stuff. Or being told I can't do this or that for some selfish reason. Of course, it depends on the situation and my willingness.
Back to the point, I had a deep thought about why these games were so addictive while I have been known to get bored very easily and I think I've stumbled upon the answer.
These games feed my inner inclinations for adventure and freedom that my present life does not allow (yet?). In those games I am free to go anywhere and by any means. I am free to help good people or harm bad people.
I can take a car and drive to the next town. Or hike up a mountain. Explore a cave. Navigate through thick vegetation. Swim in the ocean. Even fly.
Who doesn't want to do these things?!
Some poor helpless people need help? Render assistance.
Some bad guys oppressing those poor helpless people? Shoot them in the head or run them through with a sword/spear.
Fantasy.
This is all fantasy.
I should stop living in the game world and try to set my real life straight. Perhaps then, adventure will come.
posted by Danny at
2:56 PM
