Thoughts and Prayers.

Before you, my heart was a hollow and empty place.

Ever since I fell in love with you, you've never left my mind.
If my mind was a bland tasting glass of water, you're like a teaspoon of honey.

Thanks for sweetening up my life.

I love holding your hand. If I could, I wanna hold your hand everywhere we go. I wanna hold it tight. I don't ever wanna lose you. Also, holding your hand means I'm beside you. The best place to be on earth.

Every second spent not with you is time spent missing you.

Sometimes I miss you so much, I could actually feel it as an aching inside of me.

Then the tears start to roll as I start thinking of the times we had.

When it gets really bad, I just stop functioning. Then I'll just sit stoned, replaying memories over and over again in my head.

I'm afraid this would happen again when I'm in Sabah.

How about a silly thought? :)

When I'm in camp, I'm very grateful that home is not that far away. Just a few minutes drive down the KJE, through Yew Tee and I'm home.

I'm also grateful we stay so close to each other. Really. Alhamdullilah.

My trip to Sabah will last 9 days. That's just 4 days more than a week in camp. It should be easy right? I mean, it's been so many weeks into NS already.

But I'm thinking... I'll be so far away from home. From my family. From you.

If anything happens back here, I can't just take 172 back to CCK and attend to it.

And whenever I miss my dear family..... from you, sayang...

It kinda sucks to know we're like a thousand miles apart.

Bahhh... silly thoughts, right?

Just shut up and do it, Danny. Once in a lifetime experience. And it's only freaking 9 days. You pussy.

Hahahaha.

I hope there's so much stuff to do there, I won't have time to think sad thoughts.

Ya Allah, I seek your protection in my journey to and fro. Please keep me and my friends safe in the plane and in the jungle. Please protect us from accidents. Protect us from disease. Protect us from harmful people and harmful creatures.

Ya Allah, please give me mental and physical strength to overcome all the obstacles I will face over there. Please grant me a peace in my feeble mind.

Ya Allah, most of all, please watch over my family and her family. Keep them safe from any sort of harm that could befall them. Please grant them sustenance, good health, longevity. Please fill their lives with happiness and satisfaction.

Ya Allah, please keep our love true, pure and strong. Always. Only you know how much I love her. How much she means to me. Thank you so much again, for bringing us together.

Amin.

P/S: I love you, my beautiful and sweet Nadhirah. Thanks for making my world a better place. I'll miss you. Like I always do.

The "E" Word.

The tekan sessions by our sergeants were incredible, in hindsight.

Tired, running around in the scorching sun in our bunker gears...

Carrying hoses, coupling them, shouting commands...

And then waiting for your buddies to finish up their turns...

Man, just standing still is hard.

But somehow we just did.

We moaned, we bent down-hands on knees...

Our throats screamed for water.

And then when were about to rest, we were pumped for being too slow.

Really lost counts of how many and what style we did..

Then the fucking jumping jacks...

After that pumped again.

When sergeant asked us to recover and get into the training shed...

Wah.

I have never been that dizzy and tired in my life, seriously.

I was so tired, I could barely lift up my boots.

My body was slouched, my arms were just hanging there and my mouth was open coz I didn't have enough energy to keep it closed.

Yes, that tired.

My eyes were fluttering,

My vision was blurred,

My head was throbbing,

My body was swaying all over the place as I sat there.

Inside my head, I was telling myself to at least stay conscious.

Then the Encik asked us to shower.

Felt better from then on as my body temperature stabilized.

KNN, 2nd day of Basic Task Manual training nia. Hahahaha!

Thinking back, I was quite surprised by how much punishment I could take.

They always say it's mind over matter.

How true.

While suffering under the sun, I kinda thought of my loved ones.

It's not life and death but still, it gave me that boost.

You know?

I was thinking of how much I wanna make my parents proud,

How much I wanna be an awesome brother for my siblings.

How much I wanna be a stronger and better man for you, darling.

So that if I needed to protect them, I could at least do some part.

So that even if I died protecting them, my attempt had some effect to the situation.

Then the rest I'll leave to Allah's intervention.

It helps.

It helps to do the thing I have to do a lot nowadays.

In the day, the pain from training will hurt me.

Then at night when I'm on my bed, the pain of missing you threatens to finish me off.

But I keep doing what I always do nowadays.

Endure.

I will never let you fall.

I'll stand up with you forever.

I'll be there for you through it all.

Even if saving you sends me to Heaven.

Are We There Yet? *spam this*

We often think too much of our destination til' we lose track of the journey.

Oh, the wonderful, wonderful journey.

The greatest and largest part of an expedition.

Listen up, buddy...

Just go with it... keep walking. No matter how fast or slow we walk,

Eventually we'll get there.

Because reaching the destination is ultimately, the mission.

But when you look back at what you've been through to get there,

You'd be amazed.

And you feel like going through that journey again.

Still a long way, buddy.

Don't let your guard down,

Watch your back..

And keep walking.

But seriously dude,

Stop it sia.

It's like the race's barely begun.

And you already thought of popping the champagne.

FOCUS AND WIN THE RACE FIRST.

If everything goes well,

If it's part of Allah's plans,

Why not? :)

How Would YOU Feel?

In camp, I've learnt one thing.

Don't do things that you won't want other people to do on you.

Before taking action, think from the other person's perspective.

If there's any sign of your actions possibly causing grief or inconvenience, then better think twice.

If you're not sure how to treat a person, go by this way.

Can't go wrong.

Bloody hell...

At least pump us in our PT kit la fuck...

My poor buddies who live in the east all so poor thing..

Smelly-smelly inside the train all the way... Peak hour summore..

Some idiot started it and now it won't end.

Who's idea is it to make our pre-bookout moments hell?

_|_

So remember what I said.

I will start implementing it too.