Confusion.

Help!

The bird flu's spreading like wildfire!
Birds are dropping like flies everywhere!
MY POOR BRETHREN!
The extinction of birds (and inevitably, mankind) as we see it may become a reality. =(


...............

Sorry about that.

It's been WAY long since I've last updated the blognews. =)

So here's the scoop, if you care.

1) I've doodled a lot these past few weeks, but the scanner doesn't seem to like ugly pictures.
2) No more blogtunes in here because of some rather stupid rules courtesy of our leg-swinging online authorities.

I guess that's about it. =)

And now...to the issue at hand.

I found out that some people can't understand certain terms that I use in this blog (or my daily speech) so now, I present to you:

THE LAMEST DICTIONARY YOU'LL EVER FIND (Version 1)


1. pwn

Definition: To destroy, to completely dominate your opponent.
History and usage: Pwn is actually a typo of the word "own". In crude terms, "own" is used whenever a person beats his enemies in an extreme manner, usually without suffering any losses. Pwn is a highly versatile word which comes in many forms, for example as a noun - pwnage. On certain occasions, it can also be spelled differently to show the deepness meant in expressing the word, for example - PwNzoRx.

2. noob
Definition: A person who is new to the subject of interest, such as a game.
History and usage: Noob is actually the wrong spelling for "Newb", which is short for "Newbie", which holds the same meaning as the word above. Noob, although of rather innocent roots, is commonly used in online gaming communities as an insult. Noob is more effectively used with another insult, to compound the wrath incurred from the victim of insult. A very good example is illustrated here.













3. all your base are belong to us

Definition: It has a similar meaning to pwn, only stronger in stressing the meaning.
History and usage: all your base are belong to us, known to have a large irritant effect as well as successful in invading into somebody's last nerve, is very much now considered obsolete. Pwn is preferred, as it short and sweet and it's uses are wider. all your base are belong to us's beginnings drags back all the way to the year 1989, when a game called "Zero Wing" was released on the Sega Genesis platform. The English translation used in the game was so atrocious that soon, it's horrendous grammar became a talking point and excerpts from the game transformed into pickup lines. all your base are belong to us, however, received most attention for it's humourous nature.

WATCH OUT FOR VERSION 2 HAAHAHAHHAHAHAH.

......

May we all be blessed with a good week ahead. =)

> Someone Set Us Up The Bomb. <

Valentine's Day?

Greetings Earthlings.

Guess what tomorrow is.


IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY!

I don't even know what it means.
Is it a tribute to the poorest archer known?
Cupid couldn't even hit a brick wall a metre away from him.

Ahh...the time when couples spend more time with each other.

THE TIME WHEN SINGLES FROLICK IN THE BEAUTIFUL LUSH MEADOWS IN THE SWEET SUNLIGHT OF SPRING, RELISHING THE TIME THEY HAVE ALONE, REALISING THAT NOT HAVING A PARTNER AIN'T SO BAD AFTER ALL. =D

In the spirit of all this love, let me write about something that kinda creeps me out.

Have you guys noticed lately on how people seem to make out ALL OVER THE PLACE?

MRTs, buses, on stairways....you name it, they've done it.

JUST RECENTLY I SAW A COUPLE SQUIRMING OVER EACH OTHER WHILE ON THE ESCALATOR.

WTF?!

I wanted to watch, of course, how they would trip over the end of the escalator, but it was a Friday, so I had to take extra care of my temptations, even if they're based on "curiousity". :)

Tomorrow's Valentine's Day anyway, it's gonna be smoocher's season in the MRTs.

Tip to spot these public saliva-exchanges: Try the two end coaches of the train. You know...the brightly-coloured ones.

Now that's what I call "Orange County".

I can't imagine myself doing those stuff let alone me with a girl.

I mean, I know you love each other...but you don't have suck each other's tonsils out in front of everybody.

I do admit to some extent that I'm jealous of these people.

The male has that much nuts and the girl has that much....erm..(______) to do semi-pornish stuff in public.

Whoever said Singaporeans were cowards?

And the person who said Singaporeans aren't good lovers should be given a nice punt in the ass with the new Nike Mercurial Vapour, STUDS FIRST.

The kissing's OK....compared to the squirming and the caressing that usually ensues. So far, I'm very fortunate to only witness this phenomena twice. What is up with the hugging and rubbing of arms in the wrong places?

That's not love...THAT'S OVERKILL!

Why don't you just take your clothes off and show everyone your nightly activities on the spot? Boy, I would pay good money to see that.

But on the other hand, isn't this a good sign?

Maybe SMRT should build "make-out" seats at hotspots so these poor loverbirds don't have to tire themselves out doing 'it' standing up.

And I thought the terrorist threat was bad.


To cancel out the lameness of my posts, I shall post a very lovely poem for a very lovely girl that exists only in my dream. HAHA.

A Love Tribute To: Teh Gurl.

Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue.
All my base,
Are belong to you.

> I once went with her on a ride through the Tunnel of Love. When we came out the other end, she slapped me and left. How was I to know it was connected to Haw Par Villa? <

Maths Raped Me Today.

I am in so much thought pain now. 8(

Remember I pwned E Maths just a few days ago, right?

Well, E Maths consulted his brother for assistance because I bullied him.

My goodness, his brother A Maths was so giant and muscular. And not to mention very angry with me.

I tried to fight him off but I was...

1) Made flatter than paper.
2) Ground to a fine dust.
3) Ripped to bite-size shreds.
4) Turned to coeslaw with a pair of bare hands.

Basically, he just pwned me.

ALL MY BASE BELONGS TO HIM.

So there I was, a smoking heap of human ash, wondering what went wrong.

How did EZ N00B E Maths have such a tough customer for a brother?

Not only did he have brute strength, but he has some good fighting techniques as well!

He engaged the duel with a first blow, but I dodged. Unfortunately, he quickly recovered and used the Binomial Theorem and I was struck in mid-air. Later, he slammed me down with Logarithms.

Ouchies.

I got up and tried for a kick in his nuts but was countered with Indices! I was on the ground again soon after. That was when the mincing of my flesh started.

Luckily, he was in a "good mood", so he spared my life. Maybe that was not his intent, for I was left with every bone in my body either broken, dislocated or fractured. He beat me up so bad that when I bled, the blood instantly clotted.

A kind soul heard my moans of agony and went to get help. I was hospitalised with 3rd degree burns, multiple torn ligaments and a mental breakdown. The ordeal was really horrifying. Even as I write this, my hands still tremble and quiver in the shuddering thought of it. I was immediately rushed to TPARH (Tio Pwned And Raped Hospital). I was given literally litres of adrenaline and painkillers to increase my chances of survival. The doctors attached a life support system to my ass and started to search me for identification. They can't find anything of course; A Maths force-fed me my wallet. It was being digested in my stomach as they spoke.

I was admitted into the GDL ward (Gonna Die Liao) at exactly 2:00pm. Funny, I was the only person there.

At around 7:00pm, I opened my eyes. I was surprised and uber-saddened to see nothing but blackness.....oh wait, my eyeballs were gouged in, the doctors are gonna take them out later.

I heard a melodious voice. It was a female voice.

She said "Don't worry, everything will be fine. Here, take this. It will rid you of all your physical pains."

I felt my mouth being opened manually. Suddenly, a sweet liquid entered my err...buccal cavity (heehee). Within seconds, I felt an extreme, heavenly feeling. A feeling I have never felt before. I could feel my bones mending and my wounds closing. My eyeballs soon popped back into place and I felt like a NEW MAN. I took off my bandages to catch a glimpse of the mystery that was unfolding around and on me. I turned my head to the hallway.

I saw a beautiful female specimen walking away and fading into thin air.

I looked to the floor. To my surprise, I found an empty, green carton; once filled with the miracle liquid that was given to me. On the carton, in large, bold words, read:

"Minuman Malt Coklat Berkhasiat"
"MILO"

That's an awfully strange name for a Heaven-sent drink.

The sexay nurse arrived at the scene for my first sponge bath, but quickly left with a scream when she saw a fully-healed me.

I stood up and to my awe, a pair of white, angel-like wings sprouted from my back, like an extension of my shoulder blades. "Wow, Milo gives you wings!", I thought to myself.

I flew out and back home, took a bath and went straight to the computer to type this entry.

Just when I thought I was all fine, I was assaulted once again....by muscle cramps.

All I have to say is - I LIVE TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY.

Thanks for listening to my incredible tale.