many a times there are so many things that a person want to hear and want to say to another person. but in the presence of that person, everything is forgotten and just being able to hear that person/being around that person is enough. even so, time always seem to pass by in the blink of an eye and it's all over. back to square one.

once bitten twice shy. twice bitten? i don't know, mann! sometimes, i feel like it but most of the time, i just don't feel like it. is it because of the things that happened? or is it because i'm not really yet?

don't be so nice to anyone or they may take u for granted. true or false? they say, you do not show hand at the first round; you must have some reservations. well, sometimes it might seem to work well. it's so irritating. i suppose, it's just not for me!

they say woman bear grudges
how true
then how about a woman who is a christian?
is she supposed to bear grudges?
no rite? but i encountered such a woman
or is she not a woman?
she's so unreasonable
it takes two hands to clap n it takes two mouths to quarrel
i say, check your own attitude
although i'm not financially independent yet, there will be a day when i'm am financially independent and that will be the last time i will put up with u.
mark my words

it's done! results are out n the verdict is given. unexpectedly, the module that i thought i would fail, i had the best grade! it's really by God's grace that it happened! n again it's by God's grace that I have a job for the next few weeks which can pay for my mission trip. God really works in wonderful ways!

1 more hour to the scary moment
i never felt so scared with checking my results
i'm really afraid that i will fail
really really scared
i know i have to leave it all to God
but i'm still feeling it
arghhhh....
this hour is going to be .......

it's a blessing to be able to see
it's also a blessing to be able to hear
seeing n hearing are quite important, don't you think?

i just can't seem to have the courage to say it

odium
definition : intense hatred or dislike


there's acutally such a word for such feelings! whoever invented this word must have been feeling really really bad! just like what i am feeling right now ~

yesterday was moody
but today felt quite good
went out with paul, hong ling, shi rui & edna for lunch aka some tck session
it was quite fun n nice to be able to just sit down n talk
fun fun fun

some people might not know this
i was very close to studying in an aussie university
because i really thought i couldn't get into any local uni

on one hand, i'm glad that i didn't go because i would have burden my family financially. on the other hand, i feel sad staying in singapore and not being able to go overseas for studies. i'm constantly surrounded by unhappy moments; there's never really a happy moment for me and yet i do not have people to talk to nor do i know how to relate to people about what's happening. sometimes i felt that staying in another country would be much better as i would not be troubled by so many things n could concentrate on my studies fully. but on the other hand, i know i should not be selfish n not care at all. it's really troublesome. i always wondered how life would be, alone in a foreign land, trying to get by, learning the culture, getting to know people from all over the world etc etc.

i'm always thinking, if one appears to have a normal life, is he really ok? he may appear ok to people but on the inside, he may not be. u may be friends with a person for many donkey years but u may not know that person well enough. likewise with family, do you really know your family members well? for me personally, i don't. i don't understand how come a person could change so drastically and become like another person totally. they say, mankind was good in the beginning. so it's in one's blood to be good n not bad! then how come?

how come i'm saddled with so many hurdles? what do i have to learn from all these? it's cracking my brains to think. it's tiring for my parents.

how nice it would be to be able to do your stuff without the worry that u are going to burden someone finanacially. yet someone do not understand this. how depressing. i'm wondering out loud, if only the whole saga didn't happened, i might not be studying in singapore and might have gone to another country to study. but it's all too late now. what happened had already happened.

money is super important yet someone dun realise this
someone just treat a family as a ATM
n that someone just dun seem to realise it
the whole family is in trouble because of money
the father and mother is slogging their guts out to find money
but that someone dun appreciate it
often the parents was asked
"why help so much?"
it saddens the parents to not help was the reply given

how noble is the love of parents
but when i heard the plight of the parents
i felt it was kinda foolish of the parents to help on helping
haiz
who am i to comment
nobody
just have to keep on praying

there are so many unfairness in this world
who said the world was fair?
the rich get richer while the poor get poorer

it's always the super good n the super bad that get noticed
the average will just get through, without people noticing
how many are there in the top percentile? and how many r there in the lowest percentile? why are so much efforts channeled to help these groups of people where they make up only a small percentage of the total?

now it's the chance to create something that could not be shared by anyone else
a chance to break out
a chance to get out of a stupid cycle that never ends
a chance to end it once n for all
the world is never fair
always remember that
u r just kidding yourself if u think the world is fair