Disturbance of the Hypocrite's one

I felt so annoyed with someone who are always trying to say herself is someone who always love me and care for me. But what she did is always make me feel annoyed and irritated. She makes me more hate her day by day, i can't find any solution to solve this with her because deep in my heart, because i can't even describe the hatred in me towards her!! What I say and what I do, she also want to know and simply spread out to other people. Furthermore, she is trying to deny the fact and make a brand new story(which is a very bad one). Arghh....!!! SOMEONE SAVE ME PLEASE!!!!! REALLY SUFFER TO STAND SOMEONE LIKE HER!!!!! What she said really hurt me and sometimes even back stab me!

Lord, have mercy on me! I feel very sad and angry at the same time. Save me~~

Depression + Dissatisfaction

Well, throughout this year, i do faced a lot of troubles and obstacles. Through the problems and obstacles, I learn how to think and see things wisely better than previous time. But in the progress, they do really give me a lot of troubles which make me so depress and upset. I am trying to be good and be obedient at the same time, or it might because of my laziness, I found out that I'd been transformed into another person. I will get angry very easily and get very frustrated too. I will try to escape from any jobs that are going to let me to handle. I will give a lot of excuses to push the responsibility to others. Because of this, I even make one of my friend blew up and sounded me. I ask God to comfort me all the time when my emotion is not stable. Maybe this is what God want to test me. Anyway, I still have to face the problem and learn to overcome this problem. I am a person who want people to know that I am present. I am a person who proud with what I've done, I want people to know it is my work. So, when the time comes in this way, I do something behind everyone, but yet, nobody knows but those who show their face will get all the glories. Well, I know I have to be humble and I am trying to be humble all the time, but I couldn't change myself. I pray to God to help me, I hope what I do is not glorifying myself, but is to glorify the Lord. I really pray hard that God will really help me.


What is a church? A church is not a club. People said we can have peace in the church. Yes, I do feel when I am still a free man. But when i started to grow up, there are few tasks are given to me to handle. But all the informations I get is a very last minute notice and the person in charge is expecting me to have something great out. Frankly, I do not like people ordering me to do work. Sometimes yes, should order me, but not always. You pass down the work to me means the work is with me, and I will take care and make sure it is done, I do not need you to ordering me to do this and that. If i do sound harsh, very sorry. I am dissatisfied with the system of the church sometimes. It is just like a club, there is system to follow. I know it is good to have a system in a church, but I do not like the way. What I decide with the other committee, I have to consult the person above me to make a decision. So, what is the point of putting me in? Can you just do it yourself? Since I can't decide anything but just to inform the decision maker. I felt that is a waste of time to do that. Arghhh, sometimes i feel exhausted and tired for this kind of system. It really a great pressure to me. I may not understand but I just wish to express myself.

God, comfort and strengthen me as I'm growing up!

Hello everyone! (Prelude)

Hi all, i know some of you are waiting for me to make this blog. Since so many people are requesting me to open one, so i do so la... hahaha.... Once again thank you for visiting my blog. I will update my blog from time to time but not everyday because i do not have the time to do so, hehe... Feel free to comment. Jesus Loves You.