Funny Cybersex

This is like the funniest cybersex ever, I swear.

It's an apple

Huiru got her present yesterday finally, no thanks to the people at Apple, the company also known as the paradigm of laissez faire [see 18 FEB article]. When she finally found out that it was not a plus-size dildo from Japan, the palpable air of disappointment was almost suffocating.

You see, we thought it'll be funny to lead her into thinking that it were a dildo gag gift. Such that she won't know it's a Shuffle mah. But unfortunately that plan fell through cos she actually got very excited about her non-existent phallic present, and began perpetuating that notion herself. Which sorta made the Shuffle much less exciting when she finally got it. Well done Einstein.

We probably shouldn't have misled her. Gave her too much false hope. So much so that the first words that she uttered were: "Wah lao, it doesn't even vibrate loh... [sob]". But being good friends of hers, we felt that an iPod Shuffle made more sense. After all we don't want her to end up as an over-sexed spinster with her own Sex Paraphernalia shop. That market is over-saturated already mah.

Oh well. She'll just have to find creative ways to use her Shuffle then...

NB: No, she did not think it was a dildo, despite our constant jibing. Apparently she loves her non-vibrating mp3 player =)

Bullshit I say!

I just received a phonecall from *****. Huiru! Your freakin' belated birthday present is finally ready!

Honestly, I've heard of Just-in-time logistics in my accounting courses but never have my eccentric accented Professors ever mentioned the Extremely-fucking-not-in-time supply chain before.

It's like they really had to wait for a cow to give birth to a little calf, wait for it to grow up and leave mummy, wait for it to wander about the grasslands, wait for it to find a fine cow to bonk with (the calf has grown to become a bull by the way [no, I'm not saying that it became a bull, I'm saying it has always been a bull]), wait for it to have little calves of its own (it's the cow that gave birth to them, not the bull [don't be a dumbass, bulls don't give birth]), wait for it to have a full and meaningful life, before slaughtering it and pulling Huiru's present out of its ass.

Bullshit I say!

PS: Huiru, when do you want it?

A very very long long long engagement

Went to watch A Very Long Engagement with Fishball today. The movie was really quite an enduring convoluted yarn both because of its shifty editing and the multitude of french names.

But we held hands during the movie and that was real nice. But Fishball looked tired after. I hope Fishball rests well.

PS: Not enough sleep will give you more pimples! Heh =P

Some Christians are plain classic

From this lovely website
What do you think about the Tsunami that hit Asia on December 26, 2004? Was it God's wrath? What about the children who were killed?

The tsunami was an adumbration of the wrath of God, a harbinger of things to come: that Great Day of Judgment. Amos 3:6 "Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?" That word translated "evil" there is means distress, misery, injury, calamity. The answer, of course, to the rhetorical question posed in this verse is a resounding "NO!" See also Romans 1:18 "For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness;" And you wonder if this is the wrath of God?


The lands affected by this judgment from God aren’t just full of idolatry; we’re talking about places (think Thailand) that are hot spots where American businessmen travel for the express purpose of fornicating with young Asian children. It is a thriving industry over there; many of these girls are taken into that business when they are seven years old or younger. "Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry: For which things' sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience:" Col 3:5-6. And you wonder if this is the wrath of God?


Not to mention the fact that those Asian countries weren’t the only ones affected by the tsunami. Do you realize that among the dead and missing are 20,000 Swedes and over 3,000 Americans? Filthy Swedes went to Thailand - world epicenter of child sex traffic - to rape and sodomize little Thai boys and girls. 20,000 dead Swedes is to Sweden's population of 9 million as 650,000 would be to America's 290 million population. We sincerely hope and pray that all 20,000 Swedes are dead, their bodies bloated on the ground or in mass graves or floating at sea feeding sharks and fishes or in the bellies of thousands of crocodiles washed ashore by tsunamis. These filthy, faggot Swedes have a satanic, draconian law criminalizing Gospel preaching, under which they prosecuted, convicted and sentenced Pastor Ake Green to jail - thereby incurring God's irreversible wrath: "He suffered no man to do them wrong; yea, he reproved kings for their sakes; Saying, Touch not mine anointed, and do my prophets no harm." Psa. 105:14,15. America, who is awash in diseased fag feces & semen, and is an apostate land of the sodomite damned. Let us pray that God will send a massive Tsunami to totally devastate the North American continent with 1000-foot walls of water doing 500 mph -- even as islands in southern Asia have recently been laid waste, with but a small remnant surviving. And you wonder if this is the wrath of God?


As far as God killing children in His wrath, have you ever heard of the great flood? God destroyed billions of people in His wrath, including billions of children. Have you ever heard of Sodom and Gomorrah? God destroyed all of them in His wrath, including children. Have you ever heard of the plagues of Egypt? God killed the firstborn child of every family in Egypt in His wrath. Have you ever heard of the Babylonian Captivity? God destroyed countless people in His wrath, including children. Have you ever heard of September 11, 2001? God destroyed thousands in His wrath, including children. Filthy fags and pedophiles have been going to Asia for many, many years to have sex with little children - and suddenly you're worried about children? Shame on you. It is God's prerogative to kill children to punish their evil, Godless, vile, filthy parents who were raising them for the devil anyway. He always has done that, and He always will. Deal with it.

Hmm... what are the Se7en deadly sins again? Nutcases aplenty this world.

If serendipity exists

Maxwell Food Centre
4am Saturday 13th Feb 2005

You were queuing for fishball noodles when I first saw you. I was wearing a black t-shirt with denim jeans. I was with Audrey and Glen. Audrey gave the Auntie our order, which was virtually every permutation of fishball noodles possible (Auntie! 一碗不要辣椒要醋，一碗不要辣椒不要醋，一碗什么都要 hor ！ 还有 hor ，你有什么面 hah？[Auntie: standby look]). The Auntie was totally befuddled and you were totally bemused. I caught you laughing. It was a true expression that I saw.

Later on you walked pass my table three times. First time smiling, second time seeming a little shy, third time with a friend. You left before I could get my foot out of my mouth.

I'm still shooting myself now for not approaching you there and then. Aiyah... I'm such a dud.

[UPDATE]
Serendipity does exist =)