I don't want to love masochistically again

The boat is sinking.
I'm swiming away to shore.
You can drown alone.
HAH!

Oh damn, national swimmer, you probably won't drown!
Drats! Where's my stun gun when I need it?

First week in school: I want my mummy!

It has been a very tiring week in school indeed. Not only is the warnings of immense impending workloads from the numerous professors extremely harrowing, tagging along crushes can be likewise energy sapping!

But more on the professors. This term I have one laid back Ang moh (they're everywhere here so it's no biggie) who will never let you go off early, one seemingly fastidious grandma with an obscure reputation of being nice (I must say I don't sense it yet), one charming and witty maths prof, and one unassuming Korean who writes better than he speaks. What a motley crew. Lessons should be exciting if not the least bit entertaining.

I must say that the Korean prof is the most amusing of all. He has what I call the 'Starwars' teaching method. You know, the way words float to infinity at the start of every Starwars, original episodes or otherwise? Similarly, he teaches by writing on paper at the visualiser, moving it up gradually, and adding more writing paper at the bottom. Thankfully he writes better than he speaks. Brings back memories of my JC maths lessons with my phonetically-challenged teacher really, when probability and statistics lessons routinely involved 'Toasting Coins' and 'Hippo-tet-sis Testing'.

So went my first week in school. The work is really quite stupefying, not to mention the number of new names of new people I have to remember now. And thank goodness I have a nice LTB group with an exchange student from Sweden, less worries for me. Wonder if she's a closet ABBA fan like I am.

I feel so sad for Yishan though [yeah, beneath all that meniacal laughing, I'm really very sad for you dearie!] , she will experience something I so gladly left behind during my Army days - the notorious F-factor, wah ha ha ha. Enjoy!

To pull away or await the inevitable?

I'm pulling away.
To reach the shore.
This boat is sinking.
I have water-soluble gel in my hair.

But how could I go if you are here?
Pulling me back.

I can be butch if I want to ok!

Felt that a follow up since my last disappointing haircut was due. And since I just went to the salon, here is my latest update on my hairstyling adventures and misadventures.

Went to a salon at Far East Plaza called Pointers last Sunday, because Zhi Qi recommended it, but largely because I could ill afford even the 20 bucks for Salon4Hair at Paragon nor the 23 bucks for Supercuts at Far East (Pointers was only 12 dollars).

The place is, to put it politely, like a whore den (disclaimer: not that I am privy to nor have ever step foot in such said premises). It had the complete decor man! The moldy smell, the tacky cornices, the o-so-biang color co-ordination. In other words, I was more than slightly apprehensive.

However being a pauper with exceedingly scruffy and long hair, I had few alternative options. Hence off to the shampoo basin I went, with this rather unfriendly butch girl. After the most un-titillating shampoo experience by another person ever, she led me to the tacky console and was about to start inflicting her damage on me.

But first she asked, "Ni yao jian zhen me yang de?" Not being very well-schooled in chinese hair-styling parlance, I struggled to make it very clear that I did not want to be side-burn-less for another three months (see preceding May 5th 2004 entry). After a few seconds of stillborn explanations, she just mumbled, "Hao xiang wo zhe yang de har?" And I nodded in submission, really for fear that she might cut me if I had not.

After 15 mins of hair-raising moments, to my surprise, my haircut was really not at all bad! I didn't know I could carry off a lesbian haircut this well! She may be a confrontational lesbian in a whore-den-resque salon, but she's a good hairdresser too!

Therefore, henceforth I declare that only lesbian butch hairdressers shall touch my hair. Not Japanese ones though, those are crazy regardless of sexual-orientation! (see preceeding May 5th 2004 entry).

Yishun is real weird you know...

Went jogging today after receiving some extremely elating news. Along the way, I met with two particularly amusing things:

First was this gigantic tentage on the field just beside Yishun 10. In front of it was the largest billboard I've ever seen! "Welcome Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong" it said. This must be a Guiness Book Record man: The largest amount of brown-nosed ass-lickers congregating under a single roof.

And after another 10 mins of running or so, just before I puked out my spleen from having had taken too long a sabbatical from jogging, I saw this sign perched on the roadside curb. It read "Creepy Beancurd" and "Chill Crap" complete with none too appetizing pictorials. The creative advertising nowadays...

Yishun is quite the weird town isn't it? Not only is it a holder of obscure records and a pioneer of odd marketing strategies, it is also an extremely misshapen and disjointed electoral unit to boot (not that you'd get to vote if it isn't).

Orientation, Serendipity and How do I buy that red shirt?

O-WEE-O to all. Orientation has just ended, and I'm already starting to miss my group, the lovely Miss Jac and Vanessa, my buddy group's facilitator, as well (She's sooo... cute! I want to adopt her! Her Milo fetish is so entertaining).

Particularly the gossipy girls (I might add: and I) who have managed to keep a certain O-WEE-O affair very alive and entertaining. (Not to mention the Anson/Jennifer affair [Where Anson and Jennifer refer to the same person] which I shall not mention now just yet)

What happened was Esther saw a girl, who looks like a boy, that looks like a pirate,whom she felt at-first-glance was a cute eligible boy, who isn't a girl, that doesn't look like a pirate. Which was highly ironic, not to mention coincidental, considering our group was going to make a pirate ship float. Before we could say 'Aiyee Aiyee Matie', they were having uncanny and unplanned rendezvous all over the campus.

One particular occurrence, at the 'Kung-Fu' telematch competition, had O-WEE-O and Esther in an awkward and heart-wrenching dance on the battlefield (another uncanny coincidence). Their attacks on each other were so reluctant it was almost heart-breaking to watch. When one of them, O-WEE-O, finally won by sheer fluke, her heart was perceptibly broken as she launched the forfeit cup of water clear to the right of Esther (and hence missing her completely).

Such serendipity, I could only wish for [sniggers].

Footnote: O-WEE-O is also known as the pirate song the inane Sam taught us.

"O-WEE-O, a pirate's life for me..." [ad nauseam]

As for how do I buy that red shirt, I just hope I get an O-WEE-O of my own in time, haha.

Will update again when I have photos to show and tell!

To be red with content

The waif has found a friendly orphanage.
The paedophile has found a new interest in furry stuff toys instead.
Auntie Min has found an obscure parallel importer of Prada bags at even lower prices.
The chee kor pek's wife has just died and left him a nice sum of insurance money to buy a new bride from China.

Though still without an iPod, I am content.

To walk away?

Shall the waif walk quietly away clutching her tummy?
Shall the paedophile lead a mundane life on the straight and narrow?
Shall Auntie Min settle for Prada at full price?
Shall the chee kor pek shag his protuberant wife?

Shall I walk away or stay as a friend?
Next time I should just have crushes on inanimate objects.
Maybe what I need is an iPod. Two of them...

To watch from afar...

Like a waif outside Breadtalk, I watch longingly from afar...
Like a predatory paedophile on parole at a children's playground, I watch longingly from afar...
Like Auntie Min at an over-crowded mall during the Great Singapore Sale, I watch longingly from afar...
Like a broke chee kor pek along Geylang Road, I watch longingly from afar...

But aren't you just right next to me?