2012 Year in Review (abridged version)

I always type out a year in review, mainly for myself to remember and for scrapbooking purposes.  This year it was really long so I trimmed it down for the sake of my blog....however, the abridged version is pretty long too!  :)

2012 Year in Review (abridged version)

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths”  Proverbs 3:5-6

            The above verse sums up 2012 quite well for me.  We have had a year full of ups and downs, sadness and joy, with lots of fun, lots of tears, lots of love.  Through it all we have had our faithful God with us guiding our paths each step of the way.  We choose to trust that all of it the good, the bad, and the ugly were all part of His plan and we will trust Him with it all. 

            If you are at our house on any given day you will most likely hear me singing “Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus”.  This has been my theme song the last several months and it is a lullaby for Malachi.  He knows it, I’ve sung it to him since we were in the hospital with him and it is calming to him.  It is calming to me as well.  This song got me through some difficult times this year, they reminded me how good and right it is to trust in Jesus and “oh for grace to trust Him more”! 

            Highlights from 2012, Daniel started exclusively working on The Gospel Project in February, a few months later his job was changed to Content/Production Editor of The Gospel Project.  He was awarded a “Pursuit of Excellence” for his work at Lifeway on The Gospel Project.  He continues to serve as Student Pastor at our church and enjoyed taking the students to Centrifuge this summer.  Christy continues to homeschool Hannah and Benjamin and started teaching a music class at their tutorial.  She enjoys teaching and planning the lessons.  In her free time she still likes to scrapbook and read, she finished reading the Harry Potter series this fall.  Hannah is 6 and in 1^st grade.  She still enjoys gymnastics and wants to get involved in other sports as well.  She is beginning to read well and her favorite subject in school is science.  Benjamin is 5 and is also in 1^st grade.  He is reading well and loves music.  He played t-ball for the first time this summer and enjoyed it.  Malachi came to us at the end of August and has been such a joyful addition to our home.  He is always happy and loves his big brother and sister.  He is doing well since his heart surgery to repair tetralogy of fallot. 

Timeline:

January:  Met with a birthmom about adopting her baby boy

February:   Hannah and Benjamin turn 6 and 7, we had a fun party and took them swimming at a hotel.  Daniel started exclusively working on Gospel Project.

March:  Baby boy was born and we were thrilled, however, we ended up leaving the hospital without the baby.  We were sad but God was with us.

April:  Daniel got his promotion to Content/Production Editor

May:  Family trip to the beach.  Updated homestudy

June:  Benjamin started playing t-ball

July:  Hannah and Benjamin started 1^st Grade (homeschool)

August:  Heard about Malachi, Malachi’s surgery

September:  Brought Malachi home

November:  Daniel was awarded the “Pursuit of Excellence” at work.

December:  Yay!  Christmas! 

We are so thankful for all that 2012 has brought us.  We are thankful for another year of life.  We are thankful for the 3 blessings God has entrusted to us.  We are thankful for God’s peace in the hard times.  We are thankful for our families who have been with us through the highs and lows of the year.  We are thankful for our loving church family. “To God be the Glory Great things He has done!”

Is safe really better?

My friend Emily posted this quote earlier today "If you live your life too safely, you will never know the thrill of seeing Me work through you." -Jesus Calling Devotional by Sarah Young  

I think most of us want to live a "safe" and "happy" life.  We love it when life goes along just as we hope and just as we plan.  We started this adoption process 2 1/2 years ago.  Back then we reguarly talked about how God was going to bring us a baby soon.  Soon to us was a few months.  We believed that and believed it was a good plan.  We imagined going to the hospital to pick up a healthy baby boy or girl.  We invisioned it to be smooth and easy and straight forward.  Well, as you know this journey has been anything but smooth, easy, and straight forward!  

Along the way God has taught us so many things.  One things for sure is that He doesn't always take us down the easiest path.  I think that is why God gave me the verses he did (Prov. 3:5-6).  God started over a year ago planting that verse in my head so that I could eventually get it into my heart.  Trust Him!  Don't rely on MY understanding!  Acknowledge Him!  Let Him direct my paths!  My own understanding would question lots of what has happened on this journey.  My own understanding would not even consider a heart defect.  My own understanding would be scared to death right now.  But God clearly led us down this path and how can we ignore it.  There was even an "easier" scenario that popped up.  Oh how much safer and easier it would have been to have a match with a birthmom that had a healthy baby due.  Of course that was a false sense of safety anyway, because as we all know she could still change her mind in the hospital!  

So here I am today, never in a million years could I have guessed where God was taking this adoption.  I never thought I would be writing as I sit at the back of an ICU room, with a small baby boy needing lots of medical attention.  This doesn't seem safe, but it is!  I am safe within the will of God and where else would I want to be?!?  

We still have some scary days ahead and eventually I'll bring this beautiful baby boy home, it will be scary, but it will be good!  God didn't bring us here to abandon us.  He is going to see us through this situation on good days and bad days.  He has a good plan for us and for Malachi and for Hannah and Benjamin.  

So today I'm glad we didn't go the "safe" route.  I can't wait to see what God does through our little messenger!  What a thrill it will be to see God work through us and our little guy.  

Malachi Adrian

Yay!  We will be bringing our baby boy home very soon!

So here is the story....

I was on  my way to the zoo last Thursday and our adoption (homestudy) agency called us.  They wanted to know if we were interested in an African American baby boy, born June 19, that needed heart surgery.  We said we would like to get more information on the extent of his heart condition and what the prognosis after surgery would be.  I prayed and asked God for wisdom and clarity and we decided to pursue and get more info and meet with the cardiologist.

In the meantime I called our agency (placement agency) in Florida to let them know we had a case and to not show our profile there until we called.  Well....they had just given our profile to a birthmother!  That was crazy!!  She said she would know something before we had to go to cardiologist appointment and make a decision here.

We met with the agency here in Nashville (which happens to be right down the street from our church) and we told them about the Florida situation.  They said we should wait to hear from them before going to cardiologist appointment.  So there were several days that we did not know what to do and which way God was going to take this.  So we continued to pray that God would guide us and that we would trust Him.  We got others to pray with us and left it in His hands.

Long story but we ended up at the cardiologist appointment yesterday.  The surgeon gave us a good prognosis and we felt comfortable saying yes we wanted this baby.  The agency called this morning to tell us he is ours!!  

Now for the scary part...this tiny baby will have surgery on Monday.  Please pray for the little guy, the surgery will be from about 8AM-1PM.  It could be a 4-6 hour surgery and sometimes longer.  He will be in intensive care for a couple of days and then he will be in a regular room.  We are looking at probably a 2 week hospital stay.  He has great foster parents and we are going to get to go see him tomorrow and let him start getting used to us.  Official placement will be when he leaves the hospital to come home with us.  

So God has brought Adoption #3 to a close, we know he is ours, we just have to trust God with the surgery and the details from here.  It has been a long journey and we appreciate your prayers along the way!  I'll close with the verse God laid on my heart for this adoption about a year ago.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on you own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path."  Prov. 3:5-6

First Day of First Grade

Wow, summer flew by!  Here are some pictures of our first day of 1st Grade!

Lessons at the Grocery Store - Heaven

Lessons at the grocery store – Heaven (by the way I never know whether or not to capitalize heaven - I go back and forth in this blog)

We have had a lot of conversations about heaven the last several months.  Hannah went through a phase where she was very scared about heaven and kept saying she didn’t want to go there.  I realized she thought if she became a Christian she would automatically leave us and go straight to heaven.  We talked that out and she seemed to be okay.  We also reminded her about how happy a place heaven will be.  Not long after that “Heaven is a Wonderful Place” a Psalty song became her favorite song.  

I hadn’t heard much more from the kids on the subject until today.  I can’t remember what brought it up but Benjamin asked if we would go to heaven when we died.  I told him that all who believe in Jesus as their Savior would go to heaven when they die.  He asked if everyone dies and I said yes.  He wanted to know how long we would be in heaven.  I said, “forever” so they both starting saying things like “you mean 600 days?!?”, “or 100 days?!?, or “1,000 days?!?”.  I said no much more than that, more days than we can even number, for all eternity and then it came out, a Buzz Lightyear quote, I couldn’t help myself and I said, “To infinity and beyond!” J 

Benjamin started to cry.  “I don’t want to be in Heaven forever”, Hannah added, “I want to bring something to Heaven with me”  I explained that Heaven is so wonderful that we won’t need to bring anything with us.  Hannah said, “but I want to bring lambie pie with me” and Benjamin said, “I need puppy and bear”.  I told them they wouldn’t need those things because we would be with God and it will be more wonderful than anything we can even think of!  The conversation went on and on and we talked about lots more things (will we go to bed in Heaven, will it get dark in Heaven, etc.) I don’t think I ever convinced them how good Heaven is.  We read Revelation 21 when we got home so I could show them what the Bible says.  Benjamin is still not sure he wants to go.  I told him it is not time for him to go yet and not to worry.  I also reminded him that we must believe in Jesus as our Savior to go to Heaven (don’t want him to think that everyone just automatically goes there when we die). 

So what lesson can Mama learn from this “lesson at the grocery store”.  I think of a couple of things;  first of all they were very focused on their “things” here on earth that they wanted to take with us.  We do get very attached to our things (me too).  However, the Bible tells us we should lay up for ourselves treasures in Heaven (Matthew 6:20).  I love giving my kids gifts, it is such a joy, but I need to remind them of the greatest gift they could ever receive, God’s gift of salvation.

The second lesson is to remember that this is not our home.  We are temporary residents here.  God has a much greater plan for us to spend eternity with Him.  Eternity is something that my 5 and 6 year old cannot comprehend….and I cannot comprehend it either!!!  In my Bible Study a few weeks ago (Kay Arthur's: “Lord Give me a Heart for You”), Kay was talking about Heaven and how we don’t think about it much.  She asked us to consider how we would be feeling if we were “at death’s door”, what would we feel?  What would we fear?  I thought about it and though my fears are not the same as my kids but I do fear the unknown too!  My biggest fear is leaving my family behind to live without me.  I don’t really want to take anything with me like they do but I don’t want to miss out on them growing up.  But that is not up to me and not something to worry about.  Oh to be like Paul and be able to say, “For me to live is Christ and to die is gain” Philippians 1:21

The lesson today is to live my life in a way that is pleasing to God and to always be ready for the time when He decides to take me home.  We don’t know how Heaven will be but to quote one of my favorite singers, “to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord, and from what I know of Him that will be very good.”  (Sara Groves – What do I know)  (Go listen to the song now and then buy all of her albums :))

Lessons at the Grocery Store - part 2

So this story I'm about to tell you did not happen at the grocery story.  However, last year I posted Lessons at the Grocery Store  and I like that title.  Just think of this as a new series entitled Lessons from the Grocery Store.  These lessons are things that God teaches me as I'm teaching my kids!!!  Think of the Grocery Store as representation of the life of a stay-at-home Mom!  I do frequent the grocery store at least once a week (usually more or I send Daniel on the 2nd and 3rd trip!).

Today's lesson is about being thankful for what we have.  We were in the van on the way to get allergy shots and to visit Daddy at work.  In a very whiny voice I hear, "Mommy!!!!  Hannah's umbrella has a full princess on the end of her umbrella and my umbrella only has a Spiderman head!!!!!".  My quick response was, "I hope I don't hear complaining because if you are complaining I can just take your umbrella away and then you won't have an umbrella at all!"  "do you want me to do that?".  "no".  "Okay then, let's be thankful that you even have an umbrella."  I was having trouble hearing and communicating in the van (they sit in the VERY back) and so I thought to continue the conversation later.  I as continued to drive I began to think....you know I do the same thing.....I compare what I have to what other people have.  It seems so silly to have a cool spiderman umbrella and to complain because it just has his head and not his whole body like Hannah's princess umbrella.  What a small thing!  Then I began to think.  Does God think some of the things I "complain" to Him about are just as silly!  The answers is probably so!!!

Once we got to Daddy's work we had more chance to talk.  I reminded the kids of the verse we have taped to our wall it says, "Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in everything for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18  We listed things we need in life to actually live, we decided food, water, sunlight, shelter (our house), and clothes (can live without clothes but ever since Eden that has been decided we should wear clothes) were about all we needed to live.  The other things we have our toys, our car, our tv, our movies, our games, etc., etc., etc. were added things that God has blessed us with.  We talked about how God wants us to Rejoice always.  We decided that means to be happy all the time about what God has blessed us with.  We talked about praying all the time and giving thanks for everything, Hannah had a good definition for everything, "all the things in the whole world", I added "that God has given us."  We decided that we have been very blessed and we should not complain about the things we have.

So what can Mommy learn from all of this....Mommy needs to remember to rejoice always too and to give thanks in everything!  I can be thankful for the two beautiful babies that God has given me and rejoice over them.  I don't have to worry why so and so has 6 kids and they have 8 and that person who didn't even want her baby keeps getting pregnant! (these are random not actually thinking of particular people).  I can be thankful that God has provided a beautiful home for us to live in.  I don't have to worry that we don't have a homeschool room and a playground that has more than one functioning swing in the backyard, etc, and we only have one bathroom!  I can be thankful that we had a wonderful vacation to the beach for 3 days and not be jealous of the person who took their family on a 10 day excursion to the beach and stayed in a beautiful resort and didn't have a tv that looked like it was going to fall and kill one of their children!  All of these things are silly!!!  I have kids!!!  I have a house!!!  I got to take a vacation!!!  Benjamin has an umbrella!!!!  Let us Rejoice!!!  But most importantly let us rejoice that Jesus is my Savior and He is all we really need!!!

Thankfully God hasn't taken away the things I haven't been thankful enough for (I have removed toys from my kids that they were not thankful for)!  What a great reminder to be thankful for all we have!!  Because I sure don't want what I have to be taken!

Hope you enjoyed this Lesson at the Grocery Store!  God teaches me so much through my kids and through my explanations to my kids about things.  I read a quote just yesterday and it rings true, "God created families to do a perfecting work in us that couldn't possibly be done unless we were thrown together with the same group of people day in and day out."

My Big Kids and VBS Splash Fest

And We're Back......

Well, it has been awhile since I have posted and since I added security to the blog people haven't really gotten on here.  So, I have taken the required sign-in off.  I was doing it for the privacy and protection of a birthmom who lived very close to us.  Now that we are no longer working with her and we will most likely get a placement in Florida, I'm not as concerned.

So an update for those who want to know.  We got our homestudy completed and approved for the 3rd time on adoption journey #3.  We have sent it to an agency in Florida that our agency here in Tennessee recommended.  They received the homestudy last Tuesday and from what we know they have already shown our profile at least one time since they received it.  For the most part we will not know if our profile is being shown.  They will only tell us if it is an unusual circumstance (for instance the one last week had a legal risk).  So basically they show our profile to birthmothers that we fit criteria for and then if we are chosen they will call and let us know the details!  Their website boasts that they place 100 babies a year.  So, I'm really hoping we will get a quick match this time around!  I'm praying the match will be with a baby due very soon and not one due several months away.  Our last two matches were a 6 month wait followed by a 4 month wait (1 month overlap actually) and that is very stressful!!!  

I'm going to start trying to get some grants.  We lost some money on the last adoption and the Florida agency is a bit more expensive than our one here in Tennessee.  I remembered that there is a grant for Southern Baptist Ministers and I've started filling out the application for that one.  That would be awesome if we can get that.  The other grants I am looking at are matching grants which Daniel and I both hesitate to do, we hate to ask others for money!!!  But, it may come to that.  I'm also thinking through some fundraising options!  

I'm already networking to try to get free or cheap housing whenever we do travel to Florida.  I am having good success with that so hopefully that will work out well.  

Pray that we will get a quick match!
Pray for all of our hearts as we jump back in after two failed matches!
Pray for the birthmom and baby!
Pray that God will provide all we need financially!

Thanks guys!  I know this has been a long journey but I appreciate your continued prayers!

Thoughts a month later....

Thoughts a month later….

Well, it has been a month since our failed adoption, so I thought I would share where we are now and what is next. 

It has been an interesting month full of so many emotions….most of them that can’t be sorted out and understood.  You can ask so many questions that really cannot be answered easily.  If you allow yourself to think too hard about it you can fall into the “what if” trap or the “did I do something wrong” trap of your mind that can send you swirling all around.  You can play the blame game too, maybe the agency did something wrong, maybe a nurse said something, maybe her family members got to her, maybe we didn’t do or say the right things.  You often find yourself asking “why”, “why when God had worked so much out?”  “Why when you were basically told this is a “done deal”?”  “Why us and not someone else?” (a very selfish question – actually all are selfish).  But in the end asking all of these questions and analyzing the situation really gets you no where.  We may never really know why it happened the way it did.  So, the thing to do in a situation like this is to focus on what we do know!

We do know that God is good.  Psalm 100:5 “For the Lord is good, and His love is eternal;  His faithfulness endures through all generations.”  (Mark 10:18 Jesus says, “No one is good but One – God”; 

We do know that God has a plan for us that cannot be thwarted. (Thus discounting the did _________ do something wrong)  Job 42:2  “I know that You can do anything and no plan of Yours can be thwarted”  (See also Psalm 139:14-16, Jeremiah 1:5)

We know that sometimes we will experience trials of many kinds and we must count them as joy, understanding that the testing of our faith produces endurance, so that we can become mature and complete, lacking in nothing.  (James 1:2-4)

We are to bring glory to God in everything we say and do.  Psalm 117:1 says, “Praise the Lord, all nations!  Glorify Him, all people!”  and I love what King Nebuchadnezzar says in Daniel 4:37 “….praise, exalt, and glorify the King of heaven, because all His works are true and His ways are just….” 

We know God is faithful!  (Psalm 36:5; Psalm 91:4; Lamentations 3:23 – I could go on forever with this one so if you need more proof let me know!)

We also know that in the last 11 months we have been able to share the peace of God and His gospel message with two birthmoms.  A baby who could have been aborted was not.  Two women who were in desperate situations were able to hear that we need to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path” (Prov. 3:5-6)  A birthfather heard the gospel and received it (not from us but from a pastor we know)!  We were able to follow God in a way we felt Him leading and trust Him that He would get us through no matter the outcome.  We were able to share with a birthmom that no matter what God would bring us peace.  Though our desired outcome was a baby and it is so hard to understand it all, we continue to trust God and look forward to seeing how he will work in our lives and in the life of our family. 

So where do we go from here?  Our homestudy expires in May.  So we have to get all of our background clearances renewed (fingerprints, etc.), we have to update our medical forms, which means doctor visits, we need to have a home visit.  We have planned a vacation to the beach in early May.  We are taking our time to get our documents updated and plan to try to get everything updated by the end of May.  Last March we sent an application to an agency in Florida.  They said they still have our application and all they need is our updated homestudy and some profile books.  Our profile book is now two years old.  The kids have changed so much, so I will plan to at least do a few new pages in our book.  And we pray that God will lead us to a baby or babies or sibling group or wherever/whatever He has for us!  We have the desire to add to our family and unless God leads us otherwise we will continue to pursue that direction. 

We are so thankful that God has given us family and friends that can go along this journey with us.  That is why God created the church to encourage one another and to pray for one another!  We are so thankful for all of you!!! 

March Can't Get Here Quick Enough!

Just to catch up those of you who read my blog and not my facebook statuses....

We met with a birthmom due in March.  She liked us and we liked her.  So now we wait for her baby boy to be born.  The baby is full African-American.  I am excited Benjamin will have a baby brother who is brown like him!  I think he will really like that.  He is really starting to point out the fact he is brown and everyone around him is not! 

I was supposed to go to the ultrasound last week but it had to be cancelled.  The birthmom hurt her hip so she ended up in the ER.  She got to go home and last I heard she was still in pain and needing to see an orthapedic doctor.  I have not had an update since last week.

The agency hasn't give us much information since our meeting.  I feel more nervous about this situation, I think because the December baby situation was such a rocky situation that still doesn't feel closed.

Despite being nervous I am excited and it is very hard not to buy baby boy clothes!  I'm trying to hold off until I can go up in the attic and see what baby boy clothes I already have!

So for now we anxiously await March to get here.  The baby is due March 21 but it will be a scheduled C-Section so it will probably be earlier.  The doctor wanted to do an ultrasound to get a more precise due date.  He was thinking she might be due a little later than the 21.  So we really aren't sure!