Immanuel - God with us

             I have been reflecting this last week about God, in particular on two of the names given to God in the Bible. The first being El Roi, which is translated “the God who sees me,” and the other, “Immanuel,” which translated means, “God with us.” In biblical times a name represented someone’s character, so these names reveal something about God’s nature and character. The first Sunday of Advent is on Sunday, December 1, when we stop and focus on “Immanuel,” and I would like to share testimony of how God has revealed Himself to me just this week and reminded me that He sees me and is with me.

 

                Those of you who only know me through Facebook do not see or know all the things that go on behind the closed doors of my house. Those of you who see me often have a little better of an idea, but still not a complete picture. I love my life, I have a good life, and I have been very blessed. However, my life is also very difficult and exhausting. We deal with multiple kids on a daily basis who have suffered trauma of one form or another, and there are real, lasting effects on these kids, even if they have been in a loving, stable home for weeks, months, or years. Most of these effects are not seen in the interactions that take place outside of the home, so it can feel very isolating. Honestly, it feels like if you were to try to explain what goes on in your home, everyone would look at you like you were crazy (and I’m pretty sure some people do). As a people-pleaser (something that can be positive and negative), I tend to be very concerned about what people think of me, my kids, my home, and the weird, crazy decisions I have to make because of the unique needs of all my kids.

                It has been a very difficult fall. Things have happened in our home, decisions have had to be made, and though we know some of those decisions were for the good of all involved, it was not easy. I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster for quite some time now. Things have been hard, heartbreaking, and emotionally draining. Parenting is not for the faint of heart, and we’ve had quite a few issues we have had to deal with at school and at home. Foster care is hard. There have been a few times in the last six months that I’ve just wanted to throw in the towel. “We tried our best and it just didn’t work out,” is what I felt like saying. But I still felt God had us right where He wanted us.

                It has been a huge blessing to me this week to see God reaffirm His call for our family. We would all say foster care is hard, but I don’t think you would find a one of us who would say we shouldn’t have done it (or shouldn’t continue doing it). It has been so neat to see God orchestrate His plans for our lives and the lives of our kids and work out details that only He could make work. I can’t share the details of how God has worked particularly the last few months because it involves more people than just me. However, I can tell you that just this week God has used multiple people to remind me that He (El Roi) sees me and that He (Immanuel) is with me! I am so thankful that God has used some very small things, and very big things, to reaffirm to me that I am right where He wants me to be. He knows foster care is a struggle. He knows I worry about what others think about me and my decisions. He knows my fears, my doubts, my people-pleasing tendencies, and He looks past all of those and chooses to remind me that He cares. He forgives my sins and shortcomings and lovingly wraps His arms around me. He truly is Immanuel, God with us!

                As we move into this season of Christmas, I hope that you can look around you and see God working. I hope that you can see God is with you and He sees you! I don’t know what your particular struggle is: maybe you feel alone and isolated, maybe you are facing a difficult decision, maybe you have a medical condition that is discouraging, maybe you are seeking direction in life, maybe you have a child who has wandered away from the things you’ve taught them. The list could go on and on. I want to encourage you that God is a God who sees you. Call out to Him and tell Him your struggles. This doesn’t mean He will fix them all. Sometimes He does; sometimes He just walks beside us through them, but either way, He is with you—He is Immanuel.

If you don’t have a personal relationship with God, you can. God sent His Son, Jesus, to be our Immanuel. You can trust Him as your Savior, for He has come to save people from their sins. Feel free to ask me more!

Matthew 1:18-25

¹⁸ Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: when His mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child by the Holy Spirit. ¹⁹ And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly. ²⁰ But when he had considered this, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife; for the Child who has been conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. ²¹ She will bear a Son; and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.” ²² Now all this took place to fulfill what was spoken by the Lord through the prophet: ²³ “Behold, the virgin shall be with child and shall bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel,” which translated means, “God with us.” ²⁴ And Joseph awoke from his sleep and did as the angel of the Lord commanded him, and took Mary as his wife, ²⁵ but kept her a virgin until she gave birth to a Son; and he called His name Jesus.

Foster Care - My Story

“But to lose one’s life for another I’ve heard, is a good place to begin….”[1]

I don’t know what I expected when we answered the call to Foster Care, I’m sure I expected to bring in a child and to love that child no matter what, to provide for the child’s  needs, and to give a home and security to a child who may have never felt safe. Foster Care is that a so much more; and definitely not what I expected.

“The work these families do is full of unbelievable difficulties and unspeakable joys. On a daily basis they carry both the weight of brokenness and the hope of redemption on their shoulders and in their hearts. They live, breathe, cry and walk out the Gospel in the vulnerable lives of these young kids while exposing their marriages, their children and their community of friends to a warfare unlike any other. It is a calling - a hard, beautiful, worthwhile calling.”[2]

That quote pretty much sums it up…yes, there are so many things that are difficult. When you bring a child into a home with new rules (or just the fact there are rules), new people, new school, new expectations you are bound to have some difficult moments. It can be equated to culture shock to the child who has lived a life with no boundaries or expectations. It is possible the child has come from a home where they raised themselves or their siblings because the adults around them couldn’t, or wouldn’t. It takes time, lots of time, to get a child to trust, to let down their guard, to feel safe, to be loved and to return that love. Many of these kids are used to being given up on quickly, or never getting a chance in the first place. None of this, or the behaviors that stem from them coming from hard places, is easy to deal with. However, despite the struggles joy can be found.

To be able to see a child learn, change, and grow in your home is a beautiful thing. Seeing them proud about overcoming a pattern of behavior they had learned, or thriving in school because they have the support they have needed all along, is such a joy. Watching them make a right choice after weeks and months of poor choices is such an encouraging moment. Two steps back but one step forward, always note the progress, the successes, the breakthroughs; they are there if you are watching. I have considered it a privilege to see the delight in their eyes on being taken to the zoo for the first time, or carving a pumpkin, or attending a circus. Many of them don’t get to enjoy the pleasures of childhood that we all grew up with because they are busy caring for their parents, themselves, or siblings. How I love to share experiences with them, as simple as playing a game with them or taking them on a fun outing. In those times we get to see the potential of these kids and we get to see what can be done with love, consistency, and time. Sometimes these little glimpses of hope only come in tiny fragments, but they come, and that is what keeps us going.

It is hard to explain the emotional exhaustion you feel taking care of kids that have come from hard places. As the quote above says “on a daily basis they carry both the weight of brokenness and the hope of redemption on their shoulders and in their hearts.” The weight can be so heavy at times. These kids are hurting. You want to be able to make it right but you can’t. You want to take away the pain they feel from choices others have made, that have affected them greatly, but you can’t. However, you can love them through it all, let them cry, let them be angry, let them express their emotions and then teach them how to express those emotions in a way that is helpful and not harmful. Give them hope that they can get through this. Show them you love them no matter what behaviors they are demonstrating. Let them see that you are there for them through it all, the good and the bad. Offer them the love they may have never seen before, an unconditional love.  This love “keeps no record of wrong”[3], this can be challenging when you have a child that will hurl insults and use their words for hurt, but you must remember “hurt people, hurt people”[4] and they just need a chance to feel love, despite the hurt.

Something else I did not realize is the impact it would have not just on me, but on my kids, my church, my friends, the school, and even my current lifestyle. Choices our children have made have negatively affected those around us. Seeing them make choices that hurt my family and friends is harder than I expected.  However, I have seen these same people step up and forgive, encourage, and support us and the kids. Many have come along beside us and met needs we didn’t even know we needed met. Foster Care takes a team and I have had to learn to let others help me and not take full responsibility when things go wrong. If you can’t be a foster parent I encourage you find a way to support a foster child or parent in your community.

We have had to make a lot of changes in our house, in our schedule, and in our commitments as we have started foster care. We expected changes in our household but did not know the extent of these changes. We have had to make rules that probably don’t make sense to others, we have had to step back on responsibilities (take on less), and we have to be ready at any moment for a visit from a social worker, therapist, or any number of people. We have had to learn to not worry about what others think, but to do what we know is best for our family. It has made me realize not to be judgmental of situations around me because no one knows what really goes on in a house and in a family. You cannot knowo how hard people may be fighting to teach a child to make wise choices, to fit into society, in a classroom, and/or in a family.

So you may be reading this and thinking, okay, you are not convincing me that the positives out-weigh the negatives. We have had people over the last 15 months question why we stick with it. Well, I don’t know that there is an answer other than this is where we feel called to be. We see these kids need people who won’t give up on them. We also love because we have been given an unconditional love from God. “This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” 1 John 4:9-11

If you want more information about foster care feel free to ask. Maybe it is something God will call you to. Also, I want to clarify that we are a level 2, therapeutic home, which means the kids they place with us usually need a bit more intervention and services (therapy, etc.). So our experience may be different than someone who is a level 1 home. You can decide what level of care you are capable of providing. If you can’t be a foster parent you can always provide respite for a family (respite care does require training and background checks), provide a meal, and definitely pray!

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[1] Andrew Peterson, “Dancing in the Mine Fields”

[2] http://jasonjohnsonblog.com/blog/ten-simple-ways-your-church-can-serve-foster-families#.WfslKGiPLIU=

[3] 1 Corinthians 13:5

[4] This quote is attributed to many people, I read it on a friend’s facebook post, I do not know its origin.

What to do when you find yourself in a season you are not supposed to be in...

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance;

a time to cast away stones, and time to gather stones together;

a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.”

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

I’ve been thinking a lot about seasons lately, not the literal seasons of winter, spring, summer and fall, but the seasons of life. We all go through various seasons of life, some good and some bad, some productive, and some dry. One thing we do know about seasons is that they come, they go, and they change.  Some seasons seem better than others, but most of us will experience the ones we like and the ones we don’t like at some point in our lives. Often we compare winter to a hard season and spring to a profitable, new season. In this blog put aside those normal metaphors because that is not what is being compared here. What I want to focus on is the seasons that don’t seem right to us, they are out of place.

Today as I was driving home from the grocery store I passed a beautiful plum tree blooming, not long after, I passed a dogwood tree in full bloom. I thought to myself, these seasons are all confused. It is winter but the trees think it is spring, they’ve got this season all wrong! What is going on? There is supposed to be snow falling, not white specks of pollen flying in the wind!   Instantly a blog post began forming in my mind about seasons, not just regular seasons but the seasons of life we go through that seem wrong or are supposed to (in our minds and understanding) be another way!
 

I think it is normal for all of us to have expectations of what our lives will be like. I remember an activity in school where I had to write where I thought I would be in 5 years, 10 years, and 20 years. We have goals, we have dreams, we have plans. However, sometimes life doesn’t take us where we think it will. Sometimes God has a different (read that better) plan than we come up with on our own. No one goes around hoping they come to a difficult season in life. You may be in one right now, maybe you lost a job, or can’t get a job, maybe you lost a loved one, maybe your circumstance are just hard and you have to force yourself to keep going despite the hardships. Maybe you are in a season of waiting (I think this is one of the most difficult seasons). When you are in a difficult season it seems like you will never get out, but remember it is just a season and God is faithful, He will be with you through that season. Remind yourself that seasons change, they usually don’t stay the same for too long!

You may be thinking, “I should have had my dream job by now, that is how it was supposed to work!”  Or “I thought I would have 10 kids by now” that is how my life was supposed to be!  “I thought I’d be married by now, that is how it is supposed to be.” “I thought I would be able to retire by now, that is how it is supposed to be.” “I thought I would have enough money to buy a house by now, that is how it is supposed to be.” The list could go on and on. We get our dreams and our expectations in our heads and when they don’t happen the way we envision we get upset. “That is not how it was supposed to be!”

So if you find yourself in spring but it is supposed to be winter (or any other combination of seasons) what should you do?

• ·         Remember that God is with you no matter what season you are in.

“The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.” Psalm 46:11 (Read all of Psalm 46)

“…be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you or forsake you.”

• ·         Don’t grow weary of the season you are in.

“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9

• ·         Give your burdens to Him when in a difficult/unplanned season

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

             “The Lord is near to the broken hearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

• ·         Wait expectantly for a new season (even if you have to wait a long time)

“Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” Psalm 27:14

“And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you.” Psalm 39:7

• ·         Be ready to tell others about Jesus in whatever season you find yourself.

“preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching.” 2 Timothy 4:2

• ·         Rejoice no matter what season you are in.  Understand that God uses hard seasons to help you grow to be more like Him.

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.” Philippians 4:4

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1:2-4

And if you find yourself in the season you thought you would be in at this moment in life, rejoice in it, enjoy it, and keep alert and watchful so you are prepared for the next season that is coming. It might not be what is was supposed to be, but there is hope despite what we thought. We might just get to see a beautiful plum tree in the winter, though it seems out of place, it is right where God has it and for that we can be thankful. “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

Green Light to Heaven

“She’s just one of those people who has a green light to Heaven.”  Those were words used to describe me today.  Of course they were words meant to uplift and encourage and flattered as I might be, those words are so wrong.  You see I can do lots of things that look really good, sound really good, are really good; but goodness won’t get me into Heaven and won’t get you there either. 

The Bible says that we are all sinners and we all fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23).  Our sin separates us from God because God is Holy and He cannot be in the presence of sin (Isaiah 59:2 for example). Because of our sin we need a Savior.  Because without a Savior we are bound for death, “for the wages of sin is death…” (Romans 6:23).  However, God didn’t leave us without hope, He sent His one and only Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for our sins and to take the place for us.  “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life” (John 3:16).

I’ve been reading through Titus this week and Titus 3 describes this perfectly…

“For we also once were foolish ourselves, disobedient, deceived, enslaved to various lusts and pleasures, spending our life in malice and envy, hateful, hating one another. But when the kindness of God our Savior and His love for mankind appeared, He saved us, not on the basis of deeds we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of the regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out upon us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by His grace we would be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life” (Titus 3:3-7 emphasis mine).

So, yes, I DO have a “green light to Heaven” but not because of things I have done.  The only thing that can get you, or me, or anyone, a green light into Heaven is Jesus.  He is the “Way, the Truth and the Life” and “no one can come to the Father but through me (Jesus).” (John 14:6) The Bible Says, “If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).  We are also told that “whoever calls upon the name of the Lord will be saved” (Romans 10:13). 

Without Jesus we have no hope.  We have no hope of anything beyond this life.  We have no hope of a life lived with God.  But with Jesus we find hope, rest, peace, joy, salvation.  If you are looking for a “green light to Heaven” and are trying to work your way there, stop, rest, and know that there is nothing YOU can do to get that green light.  Let Jesus work in your heart and life, confess your sin to Him, accept His forgiveness, follow Him as your Lord and Savior. 

My kids are in to Toby Mac these days.  They put it on in the van so I’ve been listening lately.  I really like this song.  A good reminder that we all mess up (sin) and we all need forgiveness.  I’ll leave you with the lyrics to “Forgiveness”.  Will you call out to Jesus for forgiveness today?

                “’Cause we all make mistakes sometimes

                and we’ve all stepped across that line

                But nothing’s sweeter than the day we find forgiveness

                And we all stumble and we fall

                bridges burn in the heat of it all

                but nothing’s sweeter than the day we call out for forgiveness.”

                

Now to Him Who is Able....But Even If He Doesn't...

I feel compelled to type a follow up to my blog from yesterday.  Because I feel like some of you are out there saying, "Oh that is great for you, Christy, but God isn't doing anything for me."  I get that.  I've written plenty of blog posts about times when things haven't gone as planned, when we were discouraged, afraid, sad, lonely, and wondering why God was being so quiet in our lives.  In fact we have prayed through a few situations within this move and with foster care and the details didn't work out.  Another thing I wanted to point out is some of the things God worked out were prayed about for YEARS, some were recent prayers.  These answers to prayer were God affirming we were going the direction He was leading and we are thankful for that affirmation.  But other times we haven't quite known why some things were happening.

So this is the post for those of you that are in a period where you have been praying for something to happen.  You know God is able but he just isn't answering your prayer the way you are asking Him to.  You didn't get the job you wanted.  You can't sell your house.  Your friend/family member is sick and can't get well.  Something is too hard.  You are at your wits end on a situation and the pressure just won't let up.  Is God still able?  Can He fix all of the problems in your life?  Of course He is and of course He can, but sometimes He doesn't.  I want to encourage you today!  Continue to pray, continue to give your anxieties to Him, keep trusting.  You know I've posted many blogs about God asking us to wait, sometimes you have to wait, sometimes weeks, sometimes months, sometimes years.  Sometimes God allows something hard to stay in your life.  Sometimes bad things happen and we just don't understand why.  I'd like to share some thoughts from a previous blog that I hope will give encouragement.  Keep trusting!  God is with you!  During the hard times and the times we don't understand here are some things we do know and we can cling to.  The following is an excerpt from a blog post, read the whole thing here.

We do know that God is good.  Psalm 100:5 “For the Lord is good, and His love is eternal;  His faithfulness endures through all generations.”  (Mark 10:18 Jesus says, “No one is good but One – God”; 

We do know that God has a plan for us that cannot be thwarted. (Thus discounting the did _________ do something wrong)  Job 42:2  “I know that You can do anything and no plan of Yours can be thwarted”  (See also Psalm 139:14-16, Jeremiah 1:5)

We know that sometimes we will experience trials of many kinds and we must count them as joy, understanding that the testing of our faith produces endurance, so that we can become mature and complete, lacking in nothing.  (James 1:2-4)

We are to bring glory to God in everything we say and do.  Psalm 117:1 says, “Praise the Lord, all nations!  Glorify Him, all people!”  and I love what King Nebuchadnezzar says in Daniel 4:37 “….praise, exalt, and glorify the King of heaven, because all His works are true and His ways are just….” 

We know God is faithful!  (Psalm 36:5; Psalm 91:4; Lamentations 3:23 – I could go on forever with this one so if you need more proof let me know!)

So if you are waiting on God to answer something, hang in there.  He is able but sometimes he says no or wait.  We don't know why but we know He has a reason and all for His glory.  God is always faithful, good times and bad. He will never leave us. He offers salvation to all who call upon the name of Jesus. He doesn't always promise us easy times but he always gives us the grace we need for the tough times. Pray that God will give you peace that passes all understanding in whatever situation you are in and the strength to keep going, even when it is tough.  

Here are a few more of my posts talking about when we don't understand, when we need encouragement...

http://danielandchristy.blogspot.com/2011/04/hes-always-been-faithful.html

http://danielandchristy.blogspot.com/2009/02/remembering-gods-faithfulness.html

http://danielandchristy.blogspot.com/2016/05/the-silence-of-god.html

http://danielandchristy.blogspot.com/2011/01/waiting-room-2.html

http://danielandchristy.blogspot.com/2011/05/ups-and-downs-of-adoption-and-secret-to.html

Now to Him Who is Able....

This is a long story with many details, click here for Reader's Digest Version, though the full story is better.  ;)

Now to Him who is able…

If you’ve followed my blog for the last 10 years, you know that the theme verses for our blog (and really life) are Ephesians 3:20-21.  I usually focus on the “immeasurably more” part (thus the name of my blog) when writing or thinking through what God has done in our 14 years of marriage.  However, this time it is more fitting to focus on the first part of the verse, “Now to Him who is able.”  He is able and I’d like to share with you how He has demonstrated this to me.

As many of you know we started the “next thing” last October when we began the paperwork and training involved for foster care.  At the time we thought it might be good to get a bigger house (so we could be approved for more than one child) but just didn’t have the motivation/energy to get the house ready to sell.  So we went ahead with the paperwork and figured we could worry about moving after we started fostering.  Well, you can read my previous post about how for many months things were not moving forward with the homestudy and we just were not sure what to do.  We felt God had led us here but didn’t understand “the silence of God.”

I wrote “The Silence of God” blog post in May.  As I ended that blog post I commented that there were so many transitions in our life as we had decided to start working on the house to get it ready to sell, and as we were getting ready for foster care.  We had so many unanswered questions and we were not sure what to expect.  On top of that we decided it was time to send the kids to public school.  This was not a light decision, in fact, it was a decision we had visited multiple times in the past 3 years, but this was the first time we both had a peace about the decision.  I had prayed many times that God would show me if I should put the kids in public school and until May I was not sure, but at that point it was clear to both Daniel and I that it was time and that the decision was what was best for our family at the time.  However, I was not willing to put my two, small for their age, children in 5^th grade in Davidson County.  5^th grade is middle school and they definitely weren’t ready for that. 

So this is when things got complicated (at least in my mind).  It is the middle of May!!!  How in the world are we going to sell our house, buy a house, and get settled before school starts!?!  It seemed so impossible to me.  I was worried that it couldn’t be done and the kids would have to start at a new school late in the year.  I really wanted them to start on day one, but day one was Aug. 1.  So all these questions were swirling around in my mind and I was getting anxious about all of them!!  As you know I write when I have so much on my mind and so I began to write.  I wrote out all my fears, every single one of them and every single detail. 

- fears about not having the time/resources/knowledge to get the house ready to put on the market

- fears we couldn’t get it on the market and sell in time for school

- fears they would make Benjamin repeat 4^th grade because of his birth date

- fears people would be upset about our decision

- fears the kids would be too behind to thrive at 5^th grade level

- fears that I will miss homeschooling

- fears that I made wrong decisions about our homestudy and we might have to start it all over

And with each fear I wrote a prayer.  A prayer giving that fear over to God.  A prayer asking Him to give me peace, instead of anxiety about it all.  A prayer with what I know God is able to do and asking that He do it!  I ended those prayers with this: “Lord, there is so much on my mind.  Most is out of my control.  None of it do You want me to worry about.  All of it You want me to bring to You in prayer, with thanksgiving (Philippians 4).  Most of my requests seem impossible….but I know nothing is impossible for You!  Please intervene.” 

So I gave it all to Him and began the steps it takes to get a house ready for the market.  I had already been cleaning out the house and packing because we knew we wanted to sell the house, however, the decision to send the kids to school meant that process had to speed up.  So I started painting, cleaning, rearranging and getting the house ready to sell.  We had a few things going on that put us at the end of May before being ready to talk to our friend Misti about listing the house.  So we decided to put the house on the market the first week of June.  The kids and I were going to be at VBS in Clarksville all week so we wouldn’t be home to mess up the house. 

Misti listed the house on Monday and said showings would start on Wednesday.  She had it set up to have the agent schedule showings with me.  So on Wednesday while at VBS I confirmed 3 showings and then 2 more showings later that evening.  I was so shocked that we had 5 showings on the first day!!!  The next day as I am walking into VBS I have a text from Misti saying we had two offers on the house, one at listing price and one above!  WOW!  So exciting and so hard to focus on VBS now!  The offers expired at 1:00 and I was at VBS until 12:30 so I didn’t quite know what to do.  So basically in between classes I was calling and texting Daniel and Misti.  In the midst of that Daniel got a message from a friend asking if we were selling our house.  He said he had a friend that is a missionary and is about to begin ministry in Madison.  He was looking for a house in the area to be close to the ministry.  He had looked at our house the day before and loved it.  I told Daniel to call him right away, since we already had two offers, and to let him know to get an offer in quick.  It turns out he was one of the offers we already had!  So we agreed to the offer they gave us!  GOD SOLD OUR HOUSE IN ONE DAY AND TO MISSIONARIES!!!  I WAS ECSTATIC!!!  Daniel and I have such a heart for ministry and for missions and to think that God had a plan in selling our house to missionaries was such a thrill to me!  I just couldn’t believe it!  I was so so happy!  They wanted to close on July 12 and I figured that would be perfect, that should give us time to find a house and get settled before school started!

However, we had a few problems.  The first problem was we only had one week to look at houses before we all left for camp.  The other problem is that it is definitely a seller's market, so buying a house proved to be difficult!  We looked at several houses the week we had free and only found one we really liked (it didn’t fit our criteria 100% but we liked it a lot).  It was a Wednesday and we were heading for church.  We told Misti we would consider an offer and call her after church.  Before I even arrived at church the house had an offer, the people accepted it and we were back to looking at houses.  We really weren’t finding what we were looking for so we didn’t worry about it and headed off to camp.  So now we are at the end of June and we don’t have a house.  We have to be out of ours in about 3 weeks!  I start getting fearful about school, not about where to live because we could live with my parents or Daniel’s parents.  But I really wanted the kids to start school at their zoned school and on time!  I began praying for an empty house. 

Not long after getting back from camp Misti sent a list of houses for us to look at.  There was one we really liked, but it was over our budget.  It fit all of our criteria (4 bedrooms, a bonus room with a door, and a fenced in backyard) so we decided to crunch the numbers and see If we could handle the payments, and to see if we could get prequalified before we went to look at it (because we knew when we saw it we would want it).   We got the okay from the mortgage company so we went to look at it.  We put an offer on it and waited.  We got a counter offer and things went back and forth for a few days.  She did not like the contingency to sell our house on the contract but there was no way we could make an offer without it.  In fact I don’t think she would have accepted the offer but I think that detail was overlooked at first.  We set a July 12 closing date and all seemed well.  But then our mortgage company said they had a 35 day waiting period and they could not close until Aug. 3.  Oh no!  But school starts Aug. 1, I really wanted to be in and settled before school started!!  I wondered if we could get the kids in their zoned school if we were living with Daniel’s parents in another zone.

  God is able….

So the seller did not want to agree to the Aug. 3 closing date but eventually came around and accepted it.  The house was empty (something I had been praying about) and so we asked if we could possibly rent it from her from July 3 – Aug. 3.  She sent us a rental agreement saying we could rent starting July 12 and asked for a large deposit.  We decided we could not agree to it and called Daniel’s parents to prepare them for our arrival on July 12.  Since we rejected the offer she came back with another offer and we were able to accept it!  She also said we could move in the 9^th instead of the 12^th (a huge, huge blessing.  I don’t think we could have possibly gotten all our stuff out on the 12^th and been ready for the buyers of our house to move in.). 

So we moved in July 9 (without Josie because it was a “no pets” rental agreement) but we were in the house.  I took that week to unpack the essentials and get the kids rooms set up.  We closed on the 12^th and it cost more than we expected, so once again that anxiety started to creep in.  What if we don’t have the money to close on the 3^rd?  What if closing costs on this house are more than we expected like on the other house?  Now we are settled but what if I can’t afford to buy school supplies?  Once again God stopped me and my worries and reminded me that He is able….  So I waited, sometimes not so patiently to see what would happen.  We got the kids registered for school and they put them both in 5^th grade!  We met the neighbors and they have a boy going into 5^th grade and the other neighbors have a girl going into 5^th grade.  So the kids would know someone at the start of school!  We also got zoned for the school where our good friend Jennifer teaches. 

Now I need to update a bit on the foster situation.  So we went month without hearing anything from our agency.  I had kindof given up on them and thought once we moved we would start over with a new agency.  They called the day after we sold our house and said we would be approved by the following Monday!  They e-mailed while I was at camp and I told them I was at camp and would get back to them the following week.  They called me when I got back from camp and asked me when they could start looking at referrals for us.  I told them we were packing our house to move and I would let them know.  She said it is okay the kids can move with you.  I said, no, you don’t understand we are moving in like two weeks.  She still didn’t take no for an answer.  So all this time of not hearing from them and now they are ready and we aren’t!!  After we put the offer on the house I told them we would close on Aug. 3 and get back to them.  They called 3 more times before Aug. 3 and called Daniel once since I kept saying no!!  Of course now that is after Aug. 3 we’ve heard nothing from them, ha!  But, we do know they are looking for referral for us!

Now back to the house and school.  The day before I needed to buy school supplies we got the closing disclosure for the house.  It was a lot less than they had estimated!  I was so relived and texted my Mom and said, “God is taking care of the closing costs.”  She replied “of course He is!!!”  And so I felt relieved to feel comfortable buying school supplies.  The kids started school on Aug. 1 and LOVED it!  Hannah had each neighbor in at least one of her classes.  Benjamin didn’t but we later found out Daniel works with a guy that has a son in his class.  We found this out at the closing.  The guy at the closing company also has a son in Benjamin’s class!  We were just saying how we wished we knew some parents with kids in Benjamin’s class and God provide that too!  We closed on the house, it is ours, and our dog is sitting with me as I type.  Oh and I’ve had complete peace and excitement over sending the kids to school.  Daniel asked if I was going to cry dropping them off.  I said, “I don’t think so,” and I didn’t.  Just a new adventure for us all and we are excited to be on it. 

So God is able….

able to bring peace in chaotic situations

able to calm fears

able to sell houses in a day and to missionaries

able to help us buy a house and rent before closing

able to get the kids ready for school

able to work out even the smallest details

able to do what in my eyes seemed impossible

I am so excited about God’s plans for our family.  I know He has us right where He wants us.  He gave a house that we can use to minister to foster kids.  He has the kids in their school and in the classes He wants them in and I know He has their good in mind.  He has me home with Malachi and ready for more!  He has Daniel working right where He wants him.  I don’t know what is next, but I know He brought us here.  He brought us here quickly.  So I know He has great things in store.  But He likes for me to wait.  So I’ll sit here and wait and see what is next for us!  “Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.”

Now to Him Who is Able.....(Reader's Digest Version)

Now to Him who is able….

If you’ve followed my blog for the last 10 years, you know that the theme verses for our blog (and really life) are Ephesians 3:20-21.  I usually focus on the “immeasurably more” part (thus the name of my blog) when writing or thinking through what God has done in our 14 years of marriage.  However, this time it is more fitting to focus on the first part of the verse, “Now to Him who is able.”  He is able and I’d like to share with you how He has demonstrated this to me.

In October we started the process for foster care (see blog post Do the Next Thing).  We wanted to be open to a sibling group, so we started thinking about moving, but we were not really being proactive about it. (DCS in most cases only allows two children per bedroom, so we could only accept one girl at the old house.) In mid-May we decided the kids were going to public school. This prompted us to start thinking about selling the house quickly to get into a school system better suited for us.  This also led me to a list of fears….

- fears about not having the time/resources/knowledge to get the house ready to put on the market

- fears we couldn’t get it on the market soon enough for it to sell in time for school

- fears they would make Benjamin repeat 4^th grade because of his birth date

- fears people would be upset about our decision

- fears the kids would be too behind to thrive at 5^th grade level

- fears that I would miss homeschooling

- fears that I made wrong decisions about our homestudy and we might have to start it all over (this in and of itself is a very long story, the homestudy process has not been a smooth one).

I decided that all the fears and worries would not help me, so I wrote out all my fears and with each fear I wrote a prayer.  A prayer giving that fear over to God.  A prayer asking Him to give me peace instead of anxiety about it all.  A prayer with what I know God is able to do and asking that He do it!  I ended those prayers with this: “Lord, there is so much on my mind.  Most is out of my control.  None of it do You want me to worry about.  All of it You want me to bring to You in prayer, with thanksgiving (Philippians 4).  Most of my requests seem impossible….but I know nothing is impossible for You!  Please intervene.” 

So the weeks began to tick away and God began to show me with each and every detail that He is able and confirmed to me that the decisions we had made (some tough, some easy) were in His plan for us and our family.

God is able to make things move quickly:

We put our house on the market, and we accepted an offer on it the next day!  Not only that, but the couple that bought it are missionaries and they are ministering in the Madison area.  How exciting for us, with our hearts for ministry, to know God worked it out for our house to be a blessing to someone with a heart for ministry and missions. 

 

God is able to work through any hurdles:

Houses in the area where we were looking were getting contracts on them the day they listed or sometimes even before they were listed!  We had trouble finding a house that would stay on the market long enough for us even to go see it!  As for this house, for some reason it was on the market for two weeks, we thought it must have something wrong with it.  It did not (well nothing major), and so we decided it was on the market for two weeks to give us time to find it!  God had a plan in that!  The price had also been lowered since it was first on the market.  The seller had some provisions that seemed like we would not be able to agree on, but God worked those details out.  He even worked out the details to let us rent the house before closing. 

God is able to bring about peace in uncertain situations:

None of us were certain about what to expect with school.  However, God had the details worked out ahead of time.  We were zoned for the school my good friend Jennifer works at.  They put Benjamin in 5^th grade with no question.  The kids were excited about school.  I was not nervous.  My fear was they would not start on time, but God allowed us the time to get in the house and be settled before school started.  They loved their first week!  We are also between two neighbors with 5^th graders, so they went to school already having two friends in their grade. 

God is able to break the silence:

We hadn’t heard from the foster agency in weeks!  It seemed they were being silent and God was being silent (see this blogpost).  But that was not true.  God just wanted me to wait.  The day after we sold our house, we got word our homestudy was going to be approved in just a couple of days!  We haven’t stopped hearing from them since (though a placement has not worked out yet).

God is able to do what seems impossible.

God is able to work out the smallest details.

God is able to do far more abundantly beyond what we ask or think.

I am so excited about God’s plans for our family.  I know He has us right where He wants us.  He gave us a house that we can use to minister to foster kids.  He has the kids in their school and in the classes He wants them in, and I know He has their good in mind.  He has me home with Malachi and ready for more!  He has Daniel working right where He wants him.  I don’t know what is next, but I know He brought us here.  He brought us here quickly.  So I know He has great things in store.  But He likes for me to wait.  So I’ll sit here and wait and see what is next for us!  “Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.”

The Silence of God

I write for myself.  I consider it good therapy.  However, I like to share with others in case it can be an encouragement.

I’ve never thought of myself as a stubborn person….and in most areas I’m really not.  I’m too much of a people pleaser to hold my ground and be stubborn about things.  But apparently in the subject of waiting on God and His timing I’m pretty stubborn in learning that it is worth the wait!  I feel like the children of Israel, constantly forgetting what good, good things God has done!  (I’m not proud of this, just being honest). 

As many of you know we started the process to update our homestudy and begin the foster/adopt process again.  We felt this was the direction God was leading us this time around and thought it was time to “do the next thing.”  As the months went on and we continued to meet hurdle after hurdle the waiting and the patience got harder and harder.  I continued to pray and ask God to work in all of this, and knew He would, but there were many points where I thought maybe this was NOT what God was leading us to.  The wait got harder and the anxiety started to creep in.  What if we have to start all over again?  What if I don’t have the energy to do it all again?  What if I’m not ready for more children that could possibly be difficult?  God are you sure this is where you are leading us?

In the midst of all of this we started packing up our house getting it ready to put on the market.  We really want to be open to a sibling group and with the current space we have that would not be an option.  This seemed like a daunting task, but as the weeks have gone on I have gotten a lot done.  I’ve bought paint and am ready to tackle some projects in the next couple of weeks.  I have prayed specifically for the last few months that God would send us someone who would want to buy our house.  I have prayed we can sell it quickly.  The last few weeks, due to some other circumstances, the doubt and anxiety that we can do this started to creep in. 

I have a few other things going on in life that aren’t really for sharing on a public blog like this.  Just little things that can seem big at times.  Things that have the potential to be big.  Transitions all around (as if selling a house, buying a house, updating a homestudy are not enough transition)!  With all of that I’ve really had to be on the battle front to keep the stress and anxiety at bay….and I’m not always winning the battle. 

As I reflect on my thoughts the last week or so a song came to mind (written by Andrew Peterson).  And sometimes this is where I am….

“It's enough to drive a man crazy; it'll break a man's faith 
It's enough to make him wonder if he's ever been sane 
When he's bleating for comfort from Thy staff and Thy rod 

And the heaven's only answer is the silence of God “

I do sometimes feel I’m going crazy and wonder if I’ve ever been sane!!!  J  I’ve struggled with anxiety in the past and God has helped me greatly to overcome that in my life (but it tries to creep back in at times).  On Wednesday night we studied Philippians 4, which is a passage God has greatly used in my life with my struggles with anxiety.  It is always a good reminder that we are to “not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with Thanksgiving, present your requests to God, then the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your heart and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  This was a reminder that though I have a ton of stuff going on, I should not worry about any of it!  God is going to work it all out for good, whether He answers the way I am praying, or He has a better way!  It doesn’t matter if God is being silent on the matter for a time.  That doesn’t mean he is not working or he doesn’t care.  Despite knowing this, the struggle to not be anxious has been real!  I’ve been praying about several situations this week and really hoping to hear some definite answers!  I’ve also been praying that I will not be anxious about this. 

On Sunday our pastor preached a sermon with the title “When God answers our prayers with a yes.”  I laid down for a nap after church and once again prayed through the things that have been weighing on my mind.  When I woke up from my nap I had one answer to prayer!  Today I got a phone call that was an answer to another prayer!  Things seem to be moving again with our homestudy and we are getting some answers about how to move forward with our house!  Such a good reminder for me that God is hearing my prayers and He does care about what is going on with us.  When you are in a period of silence it is so good to hear a little glimpse of God and get to peek in a little into what His plans are.  I think we got a couple of yeses this week and I thank God for that!  There is still so much that is uncertain and so many unanswered questions.  But I will hang on to the little yes for now and continue to pray God shows us more of His plan!  Because I can tell you from experience time and again that it is worth the wait!  God’s ways are so much better than anything we can think up on our own! 

God help me not to be stubborn in my faith!  Help me to continue to trust that You have a good plan and sometimes you just want me to wait!  Help me not to be anxious but trust.  Give me peace!  And when you seem silent, help me to listen harder.  For today I will celebrate the yeses and continue to wait on the rest!