Christmas

Somewhere long ago I read a blog where a lady had each of her children make gifts for the other children for Christmas. I remember loving the idea and even making some random gift with the kids for Joey. The kids were young though and it really just turned into mom making a lame gift for dad and saying it was from the kids. Lame being the key word in that sentence. 

I have kept the idea in the back of my mind though and this year we went for it again. Each boy made a gift for his siblings. (The girls are still a bit young). Josiah being homeschooled had the most time to pull his gift off. He loves to draw and color and came up with the idea of making a coloring book. I must tell you I am SO impressed with this kid. The books turned out great and th kids have been coloring off and on since they got them. It was a lot of work, but I think he really loved making them for them. 

Benson loves to help me cook, so together we came up with the idea of making cookies for everyone. We stayed up a bit late and made them together. I loved getting to spend the time with him. 

William, being still a bit young, made toilet paper cars for everyone. They turned out great and worked well. If any of the boys needed a lesson in being generous and thinking of others it is william. I think he finally got a glimpse of the joy that comes with giving a gift that the person loves so much. If we are able to keep,this up I know it will make a difference long term.

I sure do love these kids. There are so many ways that I fail, or screw up, but God has graciously worked miracle after miracle and continues to grow them into really wonderful people. 

Another day of Thankfulness

Day two of fighting to regain my joy. I wrote down things I was thankful for, some silly and some serious. I made an effort to document a few of the things that filled my heart with thankfulness today...mind you, these are just a few:

The girls had moments today where they were battling it out, but they had more moments where they were dear friends and I couldn't have been more thankful.They are too cute when they play together and talk about life. I can't understand a word they say but they seem to understand one another and have a great time.

I have been staying away from coffee, but recently I read a study that said having more than one cup of coffee a day helped lower your risk of getting diabetes. Well we all know those studies go both ways, but with diabetes running in my family I'll go ahead and drink my coffee. Not to mention I LOVE coffee and will take any excuse I can get to enjoy a cup or two. 

Technology is great for 100 thousand reasons, but today I was so greatful for the Bible app that comes with reading plans. Joey and I are reading through the Bible together over the course of a year. We do it on our own time, but are able to hold each other accountable all through the power of the internet and our tablets. I can't tell you how much it helps me to have the Word at the tip of my fingers and to know that Joey is checking up on me. It shouldn't be so hard to read the Word daily, but the reality is that right now it is hard, so I am thankful for this app and its support along the way.

Tonight Joey taught Josiah how to play cribbage. He's a natural and they had a great time. I grew up watching my Dad and Grandpa play cribbage. Sometimes I even joined in. It is fun to pass on these games and traditions our families have, especially when they are games that are educational too. Looking forward to one day watching My Dad and Josiah play cribbage together. Fun, fun, fun!

Today has been a great day in the sense that I have been able to battle against the things in my life that want to steal my joy and have been able to choose to be thankful. Multiple times I have stopped the voices in my head telling me to be miserable and instead begun to praise God. It makes a difference. It was hard, but it makes a difference. 

"Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name."

Psalm 100:4

Offering of Praise

I don't know if you'll even care, but I've got to do something. Maybe it's just because I'm getting older and more cranky, or because I'm in the middle of the little years and time is not something I have much of, or maybe because of living here among the oppressed and downtrodden. Whatever it is I am loosing my joy. I can feel it slipping away, sometimes slowly, sometimes in big chunks. My heart is angry and cynical. I am asking questions based on doubt, and so so quick to explode or fall into self pity. I've been here before, maybe not exactly the same, but I've lost my joy before and I can't let it happen again. So, I've got to do something. 

It's almost midnight. Three minutes to spare. Before I go to bed though I want to praise my God. I want to remember His gifts. To thank Him for His blessings. I will give up an offering of praise and let it fill my soul. My God is good, and He has been so, so good to me. Let me publicly proclaim His gifts.

He has blessed me with a dear and wonderful friend in my husband. How thankful I am for Joey. My sharpener and my support. The one who makes my heart laugh and sing all at the same time. A picture of Christ, Thank you Lord for Joey.

Thank you Lord for the gift of motherhood. It is the hardest thing I have ever done, being a mom. Harder than I ever thought, and more wonderful than I could have imagined. Thank you for the successes and failures and the daily reminders of my own weakness. Thank you for the blessing of being completely and totally loved by five wonderful, amazing little people. Thank you for morning snuggles and midnight kisses. Thank you for squeals of laughter and hours of noise. Thank you Lord for Josiah, Benson, William, Isabelle and Phoebe. 

Morocco. Who would have ever thought. Thank you for bringing me here and showing me your world. Thank you for these amazing people and their acceptance and love for me. Thank you for allowing me to see you work miracles here and thank you for never once leaving me alone. Thank you for all that Morocco has offered me, most importantly thank you for making this a home. 

Tomorrow I will write more. Tonight I will remember and praise my God. May this offering of praise be pleasing to you oh Lord and may it lead to a renewed joy. 

Rain

As I went to bed last night the sky was clear, the moon bright. My weather app said there was 100% chance of rain, but there was no sign anywhere. We've been waiting for rain since last year about this time. Normally there would be a good rain preparing the soil for the peas and beans that everyone around us plants. Last year that rain never really came. Crops were planted but never amounted to much. I remember in March going to help harvest the few peas that had survived. I've never seen this area so brown and barren that time of year. Brown shriveled piles of leaves and steams littered the ground. Not only did the families have nothing to eat, there was nothing to sell nothing to trade. Many farmers had purchased seed on credit with the plan to pay back once they harvested their crops. 

This fall everyone has been holding their breath waiting for the rain. Desperately, it's all anyone talks about. Each day dawns warm and bright, not a cloud in the sky. Will we have another year like last year ? Could we survive? Then today as the sun comes up the sky is full of black ugly clouds. Rain started sprinkling down at first until it was quickly a downpour. Puddles and mud and smiling faces, everywhere. After a rain like today there is hope of a good crop and a better year. God did that. He brought the rain and with it he brought hope. Pretty awesome if you ask me. 

Siblings - a Conversation With Josiah

Just had this conversation with Josiah and I don't want to forget...

J: "Mom, it's a good thing Phoebe and Isabelle are girls."

Me: "why's that?"

J: "If you had only had boys then you would have been the only girl. Now Phoebe and Isabelle will grow up to be girls. And it's good because now Benson, William and me have sisters."

Pause

J: "I don't really like Isabelle. I really like Phoebe. I like Phoebe better than Isabelle. I still like Isabelle I just like Phoebe better."

Me: "Why do you like Phoebe better?"

J: "She is little and cute and does funny things. Sisters are good when they are older and babies. I didn't really like Isabelle when she was a baby, but it think I will like her when she gets bigger."

Me: "What do you like about Isabelle?"

J: "I like that she's big and funny."

Me: "What do you like about William?"

J: "I like the way he makes big Legos and how he plays cars. I like the way he does things. What I like about Benson is the way he makes airplanes, and little Legos. I like that both William and Benson are my brothers, because of them I have someone to play with. I would be by myself without them."

Pause

J: "I don't really like Isabelle and William. I will like them when they get bigger. Right mommy? I really like Benson and Phoebe. I almost like William and Isabelle a lot. I like Benson and Phoebe this much (holds up his hands to show measurement) and I like William and Isabelle this much (moves his fingers a tiny bit closer together). It's close."

This kid is killing me. Thinking about so much and wanting to do what is right, but struggling with being annoyed with his younger siblings. Sometimes I am fully aware of the insanity of having 5 kids in 6 years, but more often I am so thankful that these five little lives have one another to grow with, learn with and love. Praise the Lord.

Listening

“Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings.”-Jane Austen

My Sister-in-law shared this quote with me the other day and it sums up our life perfectly these days. Isabelle turns 3 on Friday. Seriously, how is that even possible?! Not only is it hard to believe she'll be so old, but how in the world is it the end of the summer already?! The summer has been full and wonderful. We enjoyed a week away as a family, and have spent a couple great days at the beach. Life keeps going though and now its time to turn our minds towards what is next. Isabelle's birthday signals the final weeks of freedom. Soon the alarm clock will require I rise and shine and the evenings will be full of preparation for the next day. 

Isabelle and her friend Afiffa enjoying lunch at the beach.

In September we will be hosting two different groups of volunteer teams. One of the groups is from Spain and only half of them speak any English! The other group is from our hometown and brings with them family and friends! (SO excited!) We will also jump full force into school. Josiah will be home schooled this year while Benson and William head back to the private Arabic school near us. Hopefully Isabelle will get to go to a local preschool so she can pick up some language. 

Benson and the awesome sand castle he made with Joey.

Spending lots of time together this summer has afforded me lots of time to challenge the kids in areas we're lacking. Mostly that has looked like me reminding them what their "job" is in our family. To listen and obey Mom and Dad. We seem to go over that a lot, everyone seems to think its their job to tell everyone else what to do. Recently I've realized that just like my kids my "job" is also to listen and obey...Christ. I listen all day to little voices, but so often I fail to listen to the only voice that matters. 

Celebrating my birthday in July.

 

This past couple weeks has been hard. Someone I love deeply is making choices I don't like or agree with. My heart is heavy and broken and I am often crying out to God to change the situation, work a miracle and bring about something new. Today my heart is heavy with this call to listen. Listen to the promises, listen to the truth and wisdom found in the Word. Let the voice of Christ permeate my day to day and know that, I should do my job, He will do His. 

Family hike to a secluded beach.

So as I head into Fall, I need to work to make a change. More time listening to the one who formed my heart and knows my needs. Because I believe all these quick successions of busy nothings will someday add up to something in His grand plan.

Summer Break

Today is the first day of summer break. Sigh. Let me tell you, it's been a beautiful morning. 

First, everyone slept until 8. That is unheard of in this house. Unheard of. Then Josiah decided he'd like to clean up the kids room before breakfast. So on his own initiative he made all the beds, picked up the dirty clothes, put the toys in the basket, etc. It's amazing what a good nights sleep will do for you! 
After breakfast the other two boys went to play on their own and Josiah sat to read to his sisters. 

Now everyone is playing, just happy to be together and having fun. I know that our summer will have its moments of drama and fights, but I am enjoying the peace for the moment. Ya for summer!


Reality Check: As I finished typing this WWIII erupted between to two sisters...
I still say Ya for summer ;-)

Like New!

After two weeks away my awesome grey van is back and looking better than ever! I thought we were having some mechanical work done all this time (we were part of the time) but Joey had arranged to have some much needed TLC done as well. So I was pleasantly surprised when the grey van pulled up looking spiffy and with a new third seat!

We didn't have a third seat before so there were always kids sitting on the ground in the back, standing back there, having a wrestling match or a whole plethora of other activities happened back there. So, now we have a great third seat, everyone has a spot and everyone is super excited! This third seat folds up to make room for stuff in the back, and there is lots of leg room which is nice since the middle seat has little leg room at all. Isn't it great?!

He also fixed the passenger side door that wouldn't open from the inside, fixed windows, stripped areas of rust and painted. It looked like a brand new van. Oh, and there is a new radio! How fun is that?!

It was such a nice surprise because I do really love this old van, but some of its quirks were getting annoying. Now, it's so nice!

In other news it's World Cup time around here. Every night we've been watching a few games. Joey stayed up to watch the USA game, and the boys are watching and practicing outside every chance they get. They've even brought the World Cup to the breakfast table. This morning we had pancakes and I looked over to see soccer stadiums being built with pancake pieces.

There were lots of discussions about what plays were happening as they ate with pancake pieces dancing across the syrup "fields" to score a goal. 

These kids, they kill me.

We keep waiting for summer break. Yesterday we finally got the official word, the last day of school party is the 26th. Not sure who is more excited them or me. Just a few days after school ends we begin the holy month of Ramadan, which means no work for Joey and lots of beach trips. Yup, I'm counting down the days!

Finally, Father's Day is not a Moroccan holiday, but I did barely remember and pull off a few special treats for the day. We are so blessed by Joey! He is an amazing Father and I can't even imagine doing this without him, I couldn't do this without him. Praise The Lord I don't have to!

The Beast & Other News

Summer is officially around the corner. Yesterday Josiah got his schedule from school saying he has two weeks until they start vacation. Lets just say the boys are very excited. I have to admit, I am too. Driving back and forth twice a day is not really my favorite thing ever. 

Driving is especially annoying these days because our grey van, which I normally drive, is in the shop. So I've been driving the white van, which I affectionately call "The Beast". 

While this van is awesome and my husband seriously loves it, it is not a van that women in Morocco would EVER be seen driving. Ever. So everywhere I go I am literally pointed at, laughed at and often times applauded (and not in an encouraging way). I should be use to this kind of attention being a foreigner here, but driving The Beast has been more than I like. I am so looking forward to the return of our little grey van and a bit more anonymity. 

In other news we got the pool set up on the roof and have enjoyed a few days swimming. 

Poor Phleebs is too small for the big pool.

She wants to get in SO badly!

Finally a pool of her own. Just the right size.

The kids and I both love the roof and all the fun it affords us. Looking forward to summer afternoons enjoying some iced tea and watching the kidlets burn some energy. Maybe I'll even get a tan! 

Birthday Weekend

Yesterday was Joey's birthday. So this is officially his birthday weekend. We decided to keep things simple and enjoy a birthday at home just our family. The sun has officially arrived bringing with it warmth and fun. We began setting up the pool and visited with family on skype. It was really nice to be just us after weeks of others being with us. Not to mention we ate hamburgers and had coconut cream pie. Have I mentioned how I'm pretty sure my love language is food?!

Isn't this guy handsome?! I can't express what a blessing he is to me, nor could I express how much I love him. Praying for a year FULL of blessing for you Love. Happy Birthday!

This morning we got up and headed to the beach. It was loads of fun. Kinda windy, but already the water is warm. The kids had a great time. Perfect way to kick off the weekend.

Building sand castles

Making sand angels

Playing ball with Dad

In the end they were worn out. It's so much fun having summer be here and it sure is nice for Joey to have a birthday so we can have a reason to celebrate! 

Preschool

Recently a friend of mine has had to take her new little baby to the Dr. for follow ups and vaccines. She has two older boys who would be a huge handful while she waited for her turn at the local clinic. So, I've been watching them. It's a lesson in patience and language learning forsure. Both boys seem to understand English pretty well but they mostly speak rifi and Arabic. We work together and little by little we can sort things out.

Today my friend and her sister took their kids to the Dr. so I had an extra little girl with me. This little one understands a lot more English since she lives with someone who speaks English, but she doesn't know me as well as the boys do. She started out her visit crying and wanting her mom.  I decided to pull out the playdoh and have a little preschool hoping it would help her relax. So far it's been a huge success. 

Nothing like hanging out with little people to stretch my language skills and keep me giggling.

Isabelle

I always wanted girls,...just not as much as I wanted boys. Since I was a self proclaimed "anti-girly-girl" the thought that I might end up with an emotional, pink-loving, drama-making, manipulating little thing living in my house...well, it was pretty scary.

With all of our kids we waited to find out the gender of our newest blessings. As we waited for baby #4 everyone was excited and hoping for a girl. Even me! August 22, 2011 dawned bright and beautiful, we were in southern Spain after all. We got to the hospital, got settled, surgery underway and suddenly she was there! Our little princess. I remember asking a few times if it was a boy or girl - they said it in Spanish first and I couldn't really focus enough to understand. She was beautiful and sweet. One of my easiest babies. Crazy brown hair sticking straight up. I was hooked.

Don't get me wrong she so far has proved to be everything I was afraid of. Emotional- always, and obsessed with all things pink (I had NO idea it started so young!), she can create drama out of a speck of dust and her Daddy and brothers would follow her to the ends of the earth. All of this and she's not even 3 yet! Lord help us as she gets older!

But Isabelle is still sweet and beautiful too. I love watching her care for babies and kids smaller than herself. She is amazingly helpful and can actually see a way to help before I ask her! She likes having things in place and pretty organized, but makes a mess with the best of them. She is shy and a bit of a diva, but once you've won her over she's your friend for keeps, unless she's in a bad mood, then just stay out of her way! 

I am so  blessed to have Isabelle in my life and to have the opportunity to be her Mom. I am learning so much about myself watching her grow and thinking about what truths are vital that I teach her. I find myself talking with God about what sort of girl she'll be and begging him to protect her heart and mind. We've only just begun this journey of raising our girls, there is so much more to cone and loads I am pretty scared of, but I can say without a doubt I am SO thankful God gave me girls, especially my Izzy.

Benson

I am often thinking about what to write here on this blog. I have even written full posts in my head only to realize it's not that kind of blog and I'm not that good of a writer. So, I use this blog to update and inform family and friends about life wherever we happen to be living at the moment. The thing is, life, it's pretty routine and I can't imagine anyone really wants to hear about laundry, dinner and sweeping the floor. And I really don't want to write about it...

I've found myself thinking about my second oldest a lot in the past few days and thought I might as well tell you about him. Since all of you are far away you don't get to know him or see him like I do and I think all my kids are worth knowing...even taking into account my obvious bias.

When Benson was born he looked like an old man.

Seriously, the oldest man. He had huge ears, a big nose and NO chin. He goes on record as being our worst sleeper and least likely to cuddle or snuggle. He was usually happy though and content to watch Josiah do whatever he was doing. With only a year between them they have always been together. 

Benson is 6 now and he has maintained his big ears. He thinks his ears are great, and so do I. Lots of people stare at his ears, some whisper to me about them, some just reach out and touch them. He is affectionately known as "satellite ears" by some of the Moroccans, but he could care less. What's the big deal, big ears or small ears, they've got nothing to do with your value as a person, right?! It's what I've always wanted for my kids, that they would see themselves as they honestly are and be content. Knowing that Man looks on the outside, but GOD looks at the heart. Benny gets that. I know that the chances are pretty good that those ears might get him heartbroken someday. People are mean. I pray though that he remembers what he knows now and that he clings to his God.

Benny has the softest heart of anyone in our family. He is quick to break in light of his sin and constantly checking in to see if he's on the right track. He takes his punishments quietly and immediately runs to your arms after being rebuked. I remember Uncle Daniel getting on him about something and being enveloped in a bear hug from Benson after the rebuke was over. It's a special and challenging thing to witness and be a part of. I wish I could be more like him.

I imagine that Benson will grow up to be a radio sports guy. He talks non stop and is a master at the play-by-play. He'll tell you about the very moments you just witnessed and why they were funny or who said what. He wakes up with a story on his lips and falls asleep with something he is dying to tell you. Somehow, though I still cannot figure out how, he has an New Jersey accent. No, really, he does. It is sweet and funny just like him.

He adores his brothers and sisters and can be found hugging, kissing and playing with anyone of them at any given moment. People give him energy and he wants to be with them at all times. For every time that I am frustrated or annoyed with Benson, I am also incredibly blessed by his love for all people, his ability to accept criticism and his confidence that has nothing to do with self esteem, but has everything to do with Christ. May it always be true.

He seems to be truly happy here in Morocco. He stumbles over Arabic and forgets what he's learned almost the moment he learned it but he's trying and not bothered if it's not right. He's made friends at school and loves running around with any kid who will. He is most happy with missimon and chocolate, but really, who isn't. Like I said, he is a blessing and I love him.

Thats Benny. Maybe I'll get a chance to write about the other 4 in the next couple weeks.

Potty Training and Other Lessons in Grace

We started potty training Isabelle this week. She's been ready for a while, but I've delayed because honestly it's just easier to change a diaper than to run to the bathroom at a moments notice. But, alas, it was time. So we got some special underwear, a bit of candy and treats and away we went. Since she was already pretty ready it hasn't been nearly the work I was expecting, but it has required lots of grace and humility. 

In America training a child to use the bathroom takes foresight and planning. We get everything ready and we strive to train them in a short amount of time. Our schedule us clear, or cupboards full and our resolve steadfast. Here in morocco training a child to do anything is extremely foreign. Children do what they do and you keep them happy as best you can. Yes they train their children to use the toilet, or cactus as the case may be, but as a matter of necessity, not a right of passage into toddlerhood. One day they wear a diaper, the next they don't. Accidents and messes abound, but it's really quite simple.

I can tell you my methods are a bit weird to my friends here. I've gotten loads of questions and suggestions and stories of why I should or shouldn't do something. It takes a whole lot of grace, and humility to not snap at people, or tell them their story is the most rediculous story I have ever heard. That on top of the grace it takes to encourage Isabelle to keep at it, do her best and move on to this new stage. 

I find myself smiling at the Lords ways. I've been praying for more love, humility and grace. He in his never ceasing faithfulness is bringing about these things in me. I kinda hoped it would just happen, that it wouldn't take any effort. But I am tired from the effort changing takes. It's a good tired though, a good peaceful tired and I can't really say that I'd have it any other way.

Home

I love our house here in Morocco. I love that it is close to a little village so I can get veggies and things I need quickly. I love that it is a bit out in the countryside so I don't have to listen to my neighbors through the wall. I love that we are surrounded by the Rif mountains and not too far off is the Mediterranean sea. I love the garden and yard for the kids to run around and get their wiggles out. But what I love most is the layout of the house itself. Joey spent many an hour looking at our funny shaped piece of property and trying to sort out how to get the most out of every square inch. He did an excellent job! 

 

On the bottom floor there is a guest house for the volunteer teams who come. There are four small bunk rooms, a kitchen, 3 bathrooms and a salon where we do our eating and general hang out.

 

On the second floor there are two apartments. One is a small one bedroom little spot for people who come with families or longer term trips. Our apartment is a two bedroom spot that is just right for our family right now. All the kids cram into one room - and love it I might add!

 

 This is the view out the front door of our apartment. So pretty!

 Our living room and kitchen. 

The view out our front window. Extra beautiful this time of year because its still green.

Our roof where we hang laundry, play in the summer, and slip away to soak up some sunshine.

 A beautiful almond tree in bloom just outside our wall. It greets me every time I come down the stairs.

This house is a special blessing for us and a testimony of God's goodness. 

I'm so thankful to call it home.

Back in the Land of Olive Oil and Bread.

We've been back in Morocco for exactly a month now. It has been so good to be back and see old friends, familiar places and to enjoy the most wonderful food ever! 

Everyone seems to be settling in and making this home. We are so blessed to live where we live surrounded by beautiful almond trees covered in new blossoms and hillsides full of growing peas, wheat and beans. This is the time of year when morocco begins to shine and I admit I LOVE it.

Today the three boys begin Arabic school. They are excited and nervous. It will be a challenge I'm sure, not really knowing any of the language, but I trust that through this challenge they'll be blessed with new friends and a grasp of the language that I can only dream of.

Yes, it's good to be back. I'm looking forward to the many adventures coming our way.