Faith.

Faith, belief. I feel this right now. I know, and believe with all my heart things will work out for the best. I will be there when needed. I have complete unwavering faith in this. I believe it with all my heart, with every part of me, with all that i am. From this strength will grow, strength to carry on. I believe wholeheartedly, without a doubt in my mind. All it will require is my patience, and support.

I believe.

Bother

BOTHER (by Stonesour)

Wish I was too dead to cry
My self-affliction fades
Stones to throw at my creator
Masochists to which I cater
You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds

Wish I was too dead to care
If indeed I cared at all
Never had a voice to protest
So you fed me shit to digest
I wish I had a reason;
my flaws are open season
For this, I gave up trying
One good turn deserves my dying

You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds

Wish I'd died instead of lived
A zombie hides my face
Shell forgotten
with its memories
Diaries left
with cryptic entries

And you don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds

You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on:
I'll never live down my deceit


Well.. what more is there to say?

Rediscovery.

Don't you love that feeling of rediscovering something? Maybe something you lost, or something that you used to enjoy but haven't seen in a while. Finding that something can feel really, really good.

For me, the rediscovery comes in the form of a band called Yellowcard. These guys were a pop-punk band who came out in 2003 (if i remember correctly). I remember when i first came across them.

I was just flicking through, channel surfing my way across a sea of music videos from the many 'be-in-a-rockband-cos-it's-the-'in'-thing' type of bands, until i came a cross this one music video that really caught my attention. I was watching this band, which looked like any other, but then i noticed something different, something that wasn't usually there, something that didn't fit the whole 'be-in-a-rockband-cos-it's-the-'in'-thing' image that all those other bands were portaying. What was it? A violin.

Yes, that's right, a violin, being played by a rock violinist, something completely unheard of at the time. Now, i'll be honest. I thought the violin was a gimmick, maybe it was? Either way, it takes nothing away from that song. "Way Away" was the name of the video, and it blew me away. This band did what i had always wanted to do with a band of my own: powerful rock songs with good vocals and catchy, epic choruses. This was Yellowcard.

Way Away became my new favourite song at the time, and it was the song that introduced me to Dropped-D tuning. Then i discovered the album, Ocean Avenue.

I loved the album. The songs on it were great.You had the epic "Way Away", the brilliantly melodic "Ocean Avenue", and the big, powerful love song, "Only One", all of which went on to be singles. Heres a video:

Ocean Avenue, live acoustic:



Yes, "Ocean Avenue" is a good song, even on acoustic. Now, back to the story:

"Only One". This is where my feelings changed - commercial success. Suddenly the people who actually thought Simple Plan were a 'real' band were listening. This was bad. Now, when Ocean Avenue came out, it was well received, but it wasnt what caused the problems for me. The single that did cause a problem for me was "Only One".

Now, I don't know why i felt so strongly about it, but at the time, i couldnt stand the fact that Good Charlotte and Simple Plan followers were listening to Yellowcard, or at least saying they were, because of "Only One". It was played everywhere, over and over. I just got sick of the song. This caused me to start straying away Yellowcard.

Anyway, their second album came out, but i wasn't keen on the first single (at the time), so i just stayed away from the entire album.

Now, fast forward about 5 years, to about 2 months ago. I was on youtube, and somehow, came across this amazing video. What was it? Yellowcard playing for the first time ever on television. It was a live performance of "Way Away" on Pepsi Smash, which you can view here:



This performance was the catalyst to my rediscovery of Yellowcard. Well, this made me wanna go out and buy the Lights and Sounds album that i had shunned for so long, so i while i was out in Gadong one night, i went to the cd shop. Guess what i found? No, not the Lights and Sounds album. Nope, it was a completely different album, called "Paper Walls", by Yellowcard. A new album. They had released a new album, 2 years ago in 2007, and i had no idea.

It went straight into the cd player of my car, and that is where it has been since. "Paper Walls" is brilliant. I love it. It is without a doubt their best album. Why? Simply because, unlike Ocean Avenue (which i do like, don't get me wrong), this album is easier to just sit back and listen to all the way through. It's also better than Lights and Sounds (which i have also listened to), simply because the songs on Paper Walls are better. I only like two songs on the Lights and Sounds album: "Rough Landing, Holly" and "Lights and Sounds" (I changed my mind about it haha).

The main reason Lights and Sounds failed for me as an album is because Yellowcard just tried to grow up, and change their sound to one which was darker - an understandable move, but a move that cost them their most valued asset: their catchy, uplifting choruses. This is what made them big in the first place, but they lost that in Lights and Sounds.

Now, this is what makes Paper Walls extra special. Yellowcard of managed to recapture the epic, kickass, powerful, sense of urgency of "Way Away"; the catchy pop-py melodical hooks of "Ocean Avenue"; and the desperately honest love of "Only One", and turn it all into one album. The result? Brilliance.

The album kicks off with a song that just shouts "We're back.", called the "The Take Down". This is followed by the urgent, epic "Fighting", and i could go on and on and on, but i will stop now before this post gets too ridiculously long.

Paper Walls is a brilliant album, that's all there is to it. Yellowcard embody everything that i wanted my band to be all those years ago. The rush, feeling that sense of urgency - no other band has managed to do that for me since Yellowcard. I have rediscovered that rush - I have rediscovered Yellowcard.

Tell me, have you ever rediscovered anything?

Think about that while listening to this:

Another day done.

Wow, so it's been quite a while since i last posted. I think i'll start being a bit more regular with my posts.

So, I'm at my best friend Hamish's right now. We just watched the new 1st episodes of Family Guy and the Simpsons. Not bad, pretty funny. Seth Rogan wrote the Simpsons episode, and it was good.

Had a rather busy day at work today. I'm being sent to China to cover the China-ASEAN expo. It's my first overseas assignment, so i'm a bit nervous.

I'm missing Siti. It's been quite a while since i last saw her on webcam. She's moved to Wales for her final year of uni, so it's a lot harder to talk to her. Her internet's still not sorted out, and it's just really hard to reach her while she's there. We text, but shes not really replying today. I'm doing all i can not to allow the distance or time difference become too much of a problem. Yes it's hard.

A lot has happened recently. Many of my best friends have left the country, which isn't fun. I miss them, but i know i'll see them all again. It's weird being the one who says goodbye so many times, but the one who never leaves. I look forward to the day when I get to leave.

I've had a major writer's block recently. I can't write music anymore. I just can't find inspiration to do so. I'll pick up the guitar, try to come up with something, but nothing comes out. I need to write a song. I have so much inside i'd like to release. haha oh well, when it comes it comes.

I've booked a Reiki session for October 11th. I've never done anything of the sort, so it will be an interesting experience. I gotta get me some healin' haha.

I don't know how i'm feeling right now. I'm feeling a lot of things. I'm hoping this Reiki session will help clear up a lot of what i'm feeling.

Hmm.. what next? To Siti, I love you, and I miss you. To my friends who are no longer in this country, i miss you all.

Bring on December.

Questions?

Wow. I've actually created a blog.. Now what exactly should i write? It's my first ever post, and I'm completely blank. Despite having so much on my mind, once again, just like each time I sit down and try to write a song nowadays, I AM BLANK.

I don't even know why i set this up. What are my reasons? Am i trying to make friends? Nah, that's not why i'm doing this. To make money perhaps, like those bloggers who end up with sponsors on their page? Or, maybe it's.. (i seriously am BLANK). I DON'T KNOW.

No one's probably even gonna read this, so why am i bothering? Do i even care if people read it. Questions. Questions. I'm always full of questions. Maybe that's it..? Hey, look at that, ANOTHER question.

I question everything. Even if I don't do so out aloud, i still question pretty much everything. One thing that's true is that I'm full of fear. I'm a very scared person. What am i scared of? Wow, my first post and it's already verging on depression.

Happy, happy.. something happy. I just got back from playing Call Of Duty 4 (COD4), and have a morning assignment to wake up for tomorrow. I should probably explain..

I am Danial (maybe this should've gone on top..?), Danial Norjidi is my Malay name, Danial King is my British name. I'm Eurasian, a reporter for the nation's biggest newspaper, and I'm 21 years old.

I am very passionate about music. I live it, I breathe it, oh and look at that, my girlfriend has just called me on Skype.

I am in a long distance relationship with a girl named Siti Nabilah. Ok, I'm sure anyone who actually does read this probably knows a Siti Nabilah, but this Siti is my Siti, the only one that really matters to me.

I am in love. Very much in love. There is no one else i love as much as i love her.

However, i am also feeling.. miserable. I feel that for a very long time now there's been this big black cloud hovering over me, a shadow, this big ball of negativity that just won't go away.

Now, i try to ignore it. Don't even talk about my problems, and if i do, i always tend to only dig into them briefly. Truth is, i can't put my finger on exactly what it is that's bugging me, pulling me down. I don't know. I feel like i'm in this pressure cooker that has been set to maximum.

"Are you planning on saying anything?"

That's a question i've just been asked. Do i know what the answer is? No. I don't know what to say. Here I am, able to type out a little bit of what is in my head, yet i don't know what to say.

Why did i start typing this? Why am i wondering why i'm typing this? DO i need to be? Am i not thinking hard enough for the answer? Am i asking too many questions?

Questions, questions, questions, questions. I am always full of questions.