Monday, July 27, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
We should send this email on our last day of work. hahaha
Dear Co-Workers,
As many of you probably know, today is my last day. But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type “Today is my last day.”
For nearly as long as I’ve worked here, I’ve hoped that I might one day leave this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please know that I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack of support. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.
I would especially like to thank all of my managers: in an age where miscommunication is all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired me with the sheer magnitude of your misinformation. It takes a strong man to admit his mistake - it takes a stronger man to attribute his mistake to me.
Over the past three years, you have taught me more than I could ever ask for and, in most cases, ever did ask for. I have been fortunate enough to work with some absolutely interchangeable supervisors on a wide variety of seemingly identical projects - an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium.
Your demands were high and your patience short, but I take great solace knowing that my work was, as stated on my annual review, "mostly satisfactory." That is the type of praise that sends a man home happy after even a 10 hour day, smiling his way through half a bottle of mostly satisfactory scotch.
And to most of my peers: even though we barely acknowledged each other within these office walls, I hope that in the future, should we pass on the street, you will regard me the same way as I regard you: sans eye contact.
But to those few souls with whom I’ve actually interacted, here are my personalized notes of farewell:
To Rudy: I will always remember sharing lunch with you, despite having clearly labeled it with my name.
To Steven: I will miss detecting your flatulence as much as you will clearly miss walking past my cubicle to deliver it.
To Eileen: Best wishes on your ongoing campaign to popularize these “email forwards.” I sincerely hope you receive that weekend full of good luck, that hug from an old friend, and that baby for your dusty womb.
To Felix: I left a new wristwatch on your desk. It is so that you might be able to still tell time even without your hourly phone call to let me know the copier is jammed. (Call Steven – he’ll come by.)
And finally, to Kat: you were right - I tested positive. We’ll talk later.
So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to the individual who will soon be filling my position, it would be to cherish this experience like a sponge and soak it up like a good woman, because a job opportunity like this comes along only once in a lifetime.
Meaning: if I had to work here again in this lifetime, I would sooner kill myself.
Very truly yours,
Chris Kula
As many of you probably know, today is my last day. But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type “Today is my last day.”
For nearly as long as I’ve worked here, I’ve hoped that I might one day leave this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please know that I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack of support. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.
I would especially like to thank all of my managers: in an age where miscommunication is all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired me with the sheer magnitude of your misinformation. It takes a strong man to admit his mistake - it takes a stronger man to attribute his mistake to me.
Over the past three years, you have taught me more than I could ever ask for and, in most cases, ever did ask for. I have been fortunate enough to work with some absolutely interchangeable supervisors on a wide variety of seemingly identical projects - an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium.
Your demands were high and your patience short, but I take great solace knowing that my work was, as stated on my annual review, "mostly satisfactory." That is the type of praise that sends a man home happy after even a 10 hour day, smiling his way through half a bottle of mostly satisfactory scotch.
And to most of my peers: even though we barely acknowledged each other within these office walls, I hope that in the future, should we pass on the street, you will regard me the same way as I regard you: sans eye contact.
But to those few souls with whom I’ve actually interacted, here are my personalized notes of farewell:
To Rudy: I will always remember sharing lunch with you, despite having clearly labeled it with my name.
To Steven: I will miss detecting your flatulence as much as you will clearly miss walking past my cubicle to deliver it.
To Eileen: Best wishes on your ongoing campaign to popularize these “email forwards.” I sincerely hope you receive that weekend full of good luck, that hug from an old friend, and that baby for your dusty womb.
To Felix: I left a new wristwatch on your desk. It is so that you might be able to still tell time even without your hourly phone call to let me know the copier is jammed. (Call Steven – he’ll come by.)
And finally, to Kat: you were right - I tested positive. We’ll talk later.
So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to the individual who will soon be filling my position, it would be to cherish this experience like a sponge and soak it up like a good woman, because a job opportunity like this comes along only once in a lifetime.
Meaning: if I had to work here again in this lifetime, I would sooner kill myself.
Very truly yours,
Chris Kula
Monday, July 13, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
Emo... missed open goal.. at most 2metres away from goal line with no GK and maybe only a defender running back to distract me. I think I can join the Bloopers gang. Luckily my mistake was not crucial, at least to the team.
Seems like jo is really a lady killer. Ladies have been asking about him and seems like he told them that he is attached!!!
And tat told them that he is 28 and to them he seems like the oldest that night and the fact is I am the oldest!
Looks are really deceiving, jo is, tat is, who else?
Seems like jo is really a lady killer. Ladies have been asking about him and seems like he told them that he is attached!!!
And tat told them that he is 28 and to them he seems like the oldest that night and the fact is I am the oldest!
Looks are really deceiving, jo is, tat is, who else?
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
What do I actually want now? If that thing really happen in the near future as predicted by one of the best fortune teller, will I really accept it? Something suddenly dawned on me today while I was daydreaming at P. Sebarok, it kind of helped me shaped up my desire and my ambition. Perhaps I should start to plan for the future and ask myself what do I really hope to achieve next time.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
A QUICK LAUGH FOR 5 MINS
Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what hadhappened in the past.
Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
Teacher: Why?
Student: There is no future in it.
Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, howmuch would your father still have?
Ted: $10.
Teacher: You don't know maths.
Ted: You don't know my father!
Mother: David, come here.
David: Yes, mum?
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I amscolding you now.
Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence.
The daughter turned to look at her father.
Daughter: It's mummy!
Father: How do you know?
Daughter: She didn't say anything.
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love
Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born
Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.
Teacher: Simon, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same asyour brother's. Did u copy his?
Simon: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!
Teacher: 'Where were u born?'
Student: ' Singapore , Sir.'
Teacher: 'Which part?'
Student: 'All of me, Sir.'
A teacher was asking her class: 'What is the difference between 'unlawful'and 'illegal'?'
Only one hand shot up.'Ok, answer, Joan' said the teacher.
''unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is asick eagle.'
Teacher: 'How come you do not comb your hair?'
Ah Kow: 'No comb, Sir.'
Teacher: 'Use your dad's then.'
Ah Kow: 'No hair, Sir.'
A boy came home from school with his exam results.
'What did u get?' asked his father.
'My marks are under water,' said the boy.
'What do u mean 'under water'?
''They are all below 'C' (sea) level'
Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
Teacher: Why?
Student: There is no future in it.
Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, howmuch would your father still have?
Ted: $10.
Teacher: You don't know maths.
Ted: You don't know my father!
Mother: David, come here.
David: Yes, mum?
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I amscolding you now.
Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence.
The daughter turned to look at her father.
Daughter: It's mummy!
Father: How do you know?
Daughter: She didn't say anything.
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love
Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born
Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.
Teacher: Simon, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same asyour brother's. Did u copy his?
Simon: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!
Teacher: 'Where were u born?'
Student: ' Singapore , Sir.'
Teacher: 'Which part?'
Student: 'All of me, Sir.'
A teacher was asking her class: 'What is the difference between 'unlawful'and 'illegal'?'
Only one hand shot up.'Ok, answer, Joan' said the teacher.
''unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is asick eagle.'
Teacher: 'How come you do not comb your hair?'
Ah Kow: 'No comb, Sir.'
Teacher: 'Use your dad's then.'
Ah Kow: 'No hair, Sir.'
A boy came home from school with his exam results.
'What did u get?' asked his father.
'My marks are under water,' said the boy.
'What do u mean 'under water'?
''They are all below 'C' (sea) level'
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Finally back from China. It was a good trip and it did live up to my expectations or rather it was really quite enjoyable and unexpected. The company was good, the weather was rather f-up but overall, I would give it a 9 out of 10. And now I feel damn f now because I got to submit my report on Monday.. ARGhss....
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
So Close [ep1]
8 years ago, there were 5 greats dominating the arena in the whole of Bukit Timah District, more detailedly known as the Dunearn Rd stretch which starts from the Coronation Plaza and ends at KAP. 3 righteous and powerful musketeers were leading the badminton, squash and volleyball teams to greater heights. They were K, J and W respectively. Meanwhile, the other 2 were trying to carve a niche by controlling the underworld and apparently, they were quite in command then. They are known as "Boss" to the others or rather each other.
TC was the playtoy of the Tuba gang and YT was hopping from the band to the cricket and eventually found that the volleyball team is the one which can give him the most protection to cover all his evil deeds and conspiracies with TC during that era. In addition, to protect him from the thousand snipers trying to give him 1x good head shot. However, rumours had it said that behind every enemy sniper, there will be another 10 snipers aiming at him. Do your math and it came up to 10,000 snipers protecting him and TC at any point of time. Seems like the power they were wielding in the early 2000s was quite colossal.
Sometimes TC and YT will lift up their glasses and cheers to their great achievement.
TBContinued...
Friday, May 8, 2009
If you ain't just a scared when you GAMBLE, you are either very rich or you haven't studied the games enough. ~VP Pappy
Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing from giving many things. ~Wilson Mizner
The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. ~Kin Hubbard
No wife can endure a gambling husband, unless he is a steady winner.A steady winner does not exist ~Thomas Robert Dewar
A gambler is nothing but a man who makes his living out of hope. ~William Bolitho
Luck never gives; it only lends. ~Swedish
By gambling we lose both our time and treasure - two things most precious to the life of man. ~Owen Felltham
The better the gambler, the worse the man. ~Publius Syru
Gambling luck is like a fraction. The outcome is just to keep on multiplying the percentages you will win each time you gamble. ~Wemo
Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing from giving many things. ~Wilson Mizner
The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. ~Kin Hubbard
No wife can endure a gambling husband, unless he is a steady winner.A steady winner does not exist ~Thomas Robert Dewar
A gambler is nothing but a man who makes his living out of hope. ~William Bolitho
Luck never gives; it only lends. ~Swedish
By gambling we lose both our time and treasure - two things most precious to the life of man. ~Owen Felltham
The better the gambler, the worse the man. ~Publius Syru
Gambling luck is like a fraction. The outcome is just to keep on multiplying the percentages you will win each time you gamble. ~Wemo
They Walk Among Us
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too untrusting of this deal. It looked too good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.' The next day someone stole it!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted....' Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?'
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While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff'
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My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but 'didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'.
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My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped She keeps it in the trunk.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, 'Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?' I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...
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I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived yet?'... (I work with professionals like this.)
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While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.
***Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.!!!!!!!! Sadly, not only do they walk among us, they also reproduce!!!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted....' Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but 'didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped She keeps it in the trunk.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, 'Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?' I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived yet?'... (I work with professionals like this.)
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.
***Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.!!!!!!!! Sadly, not only do they walk among us, they also reproduce!!!!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Spaceshot feeling
I had to clean up the stupid mess in my room after my training just now and I got home at 1140pm which is like WTF. Anyway, The things are kind of packed finally but I need to be able to retain my room by 15 July if not I will have to move all my stuff out again to dont know where, which therefore also means that those "squatters" in my room will have to be donated, discarded or reacknowledged by their current owners. I think someone went into my room this couple of days and that person could most probably be my roomie and I saw 2 Msians in Tianci's room and an ah tiong in Walter's room. Omg, will I get some funny nationality like an Indon again?
Sometimes life is like that, you can try all your best to fight for something you treasure and failed. But miraculously at the 11th hour, the weirdest thing happened when you have already decided to let it go, put it down. Well, I think I have always been going through the former and the latter, seems to me, is going to happen once in this lifetime. The only faith still intact is probably this little silver lining.
Anyway, enough about the blabbering. I have a soccer match this Sunday at 5pm and I hope that the someone, if fated that you'll see this post, could ask me again because I am ready to go and let it go. Probably when I rush there, it will be about 8pm or slightly later which I think would not hinder things too much. I'll be waiting for that sms if you prefer the subtle way.
Something short and sweet and savoury happened last week but as described, it disappeared as fast as the maximum pleasure you can get out of the fireworks you see in the clear night sky. However, that look, that feeling and aura is so alluring that one just cannot forget.
That's why I only retain happy memories and that is why happy is such an expensive gift.
Sometimes life is like that, you can try all your best to fight for something you treasure and failed. But miraculously at the 11th hour, the weirdest thing happened when you have already decided to let it go, put it down. Well, I think I have always been going through the former and the latter, seems to me, is going to happen once in this lifetime. The only faith still intact is probably this little silver lining.
Anyway, enough about the blabbering. I have a soccer match this Sunday at 5pm and I hope that the someone, if fated that you'll see this post, could ask me again because I am ready to go and let it go. Probably when I rush there, it will be about 8pm or slightly later which I think would not hinder things too much. I'll be waiting for that sms if you prefer the subtle way.
Something short and sweet and savoury happened last week but as described, it disappeared as fast as the maximum pleasure you can get out of the fireworks you see in the clear night sky. However, that look, that feeling and aura is so alluring that one just cannot forget.
That's why I only retain happy memories and that is why happy is such an expensive gift.
Monday, May 4, 2009
When you finally thought that you can move out of the current state, the harsh truth hits you back hard in the face and seems to reinforce the mindset in you that whatever you are religiously following now, yet always searching for a loophole to exploit the darkness, is still as hard as stone, as true as it can be.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LUM ZHENYE MELVIN a.k.a. AQ's LUM KOR
One year older, one year safer.I think he is probably the same guy. Ah lum, don't care about retards, anyway, SOI 66 is going to have a post exam steamboat on your birthday!! I am not the organiser this time round! So those not invited please do not curse me but of course, you are free to come if you bring a carton or a bottle of, ermm you know what i mean (Tianci's favourite), with you.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
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