I AM BORED!!!

that is the reason i am updating my blog.. i've been waiting in the car for the past half an hour.. and he is chatting with an old friend who will be getting married tomorrow..

since i have nothing to do, let me update my blog readers on what had been happening in my life for the past few months..

first of all, i am swamp with work!!! i've been working my ass off to prepare tender proposals.. when i submit one proposal, there will be 2 or even 3 new incoming ITB..
why all the hard work? well.. my boss promised to make me the proposal manager if i can manage everything on my own.. the tough part is, i have to come up with something new.. new ideas.. improve the current materials.. how can i come up with something new when my brain is occupied with all the proposals that need to be submitted??
ok.. enough of work.. i don't want to talk about it anymore..

i've been shopping for new handbags!! i bought 2 handbags last month!! LV and Dior.. crazy?? totally!!!
and now i can't shop at all!! need to clear my CC and save up some money to buy Jimmy Choo shoes!!!
:D

people is getting married here an there.. everywhere!! what a nightmare!!
i feel old! sigh~ i am going to be 24 this december.. but i don't feel like a 24 years old person.. hahahaha..

my cats are getting fatter day by day.. the only thing that they do is eat, sleep, ask for attention, look out the window and play with each other..

my friend just told me her dog is dead.. the vet said he was poisoned.. poor doggie.. may you rest in peace..

i think i have wrote enough for now.. i have to go and scream at my bf for being an asshole keeping me waiting in the car!!


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i kinda break things off with him.. at first everything seems fine.. at last i get my independance! unfortunately after a week, i felt like something is missing.. and i think that i am not ready to let him go after all.. is it true? is this why i am having this feeling? i feel like crying.. after months of thinking and when i finally did it, i felt terrible! i've been with him for annoying 6 years and it is terribly hard to let go!

why is it so hard?!
is it because i am suppose to be with him?
is it because i am afraid of him moving on without me?
is it because i don't know what i want?

GOD! please help me! give me guidance.. please let me know what am i suppose to do about this matter.. i really desperately need you to tell me what to do because i just can't think straight!

:((

i feel empty..
but i've felt empty for months! but this empty feeling is different.. sigh~


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i am currently at Eagle Ranch Port Dickson.. PDE organized a family day for all the staffs..

reach here around 1 pm.. had lunch.. the check in time is at 3 pm.. so we decided to play gocart.. unfortunately they only have 1 car.. so we can either ask for refund or change it to other games.. some of us decided to play archery.. it is tough! considering i am a girl with not so strong hands.. the thing was REALLY heavy! but it was fun..

after archery, we went for horse riding.. i choose to ride a white horse.. his name is STAR and he is 19 years old.. i was like..

"hi star.. i am moon.. please be nice to me.."

LOL!

at 4.30pm we played several group management games such as giant slippers, acid river and a few other games that i don't even know the name.. it was fun! really fun!

we had BBQ dinner at 8.00pm.. we sang and dance.. they ask me to sing but i told them i don't sing.. i just dance.. and to my surprise, they asked me to dance! sigh~ i am not really a great dancer when i am sober because i am quite shy.. suprise?? hahahha.. the emcee even told me that i am not being myself tonight because i just sit and act shy.. i am normally a very loud person.. hahahaha..

after dinner, which is around 11.00pm, we headed to PD's town to have some drinks.. it was so damn far from our resort!

and now i am in my room trying to get some sleep because i need to wake up early tomorrow morning for the paint ball game.. lets hope i wont get shot! * keeping my fingers crossed*

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i can't sleep.. aarrgghhh.. how can i force myself to sleep..?? i need to sleep!! i have to go to work in the morning!!

i've decided to make the best of 2010..

1. i will wake up early for work
2. i'll try my best to not be late to work
3. i'll drag myself to the gym.. at least 3/4 times a week
4. i will finish my degree
5. i will pay up all my credit card balance
6. i will save up more
7. i will do overtimes daily
8. i'll try my best to improve myself in every way that i could

lets do it!!
=)
hello 2010!! i am ready for you no matter how shitty it might be..


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its 2.30 am and i still can't get myself to sleep... sigh~
since i don't know what to do, i decided to blog...

i am contemplating either to continue my degree or not because the course is so damn difficult and i don't think it relates to the job that i am doing... i am not really into technical site nowadays since my boss promoted me to project coordinator / proposal coordinator... so i basically monitor projects progress and make proposal for bid... boring huh...?

if i am in design, then this course would be good for me...
but then if i want to concentrate on PDMS, i think it would be better for me to take professional course for PDMS such as admin / pml right...?

it is really hard to decide!
i talked to my mom and she asked me what i want to do in the future... she asked me if i want to work with PDE for the rest of my life... she asked me if i want to be project coordinator for the rest of my life... i was like... hmmm... she is not helping me with my decision at all! obviously she disagree with me to discontinue my degree since she have masters so she wants me to have higher education then she does... expectations... what can you do with it..?? sigh~

and so i decided to go with the flow... i went to the classes even tho i can't understand a single word that the lecturer is saying.. i am physically in the class but my mind is elsewhere...

my heart had never been in engineering...
i prefer working in labs.. it is more interesting... you get to analyze something new and learn new things... but now i am stuck here doing something that i don't have passion for... i just do it anyway for the money... it is so pathetic!

how do i end up in engineering...??
because my mom forced me to take this bloody course of course!
well... may be it is good for me... just may be...

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

a girl can dream as much as she wants right...??
guess how i visualize myself in 10 years time...??

i'll be happily married... with adorable kids... in my dream house...
i will be spending my time at home doing some gardening... sending and fetching my kids to school... help them with their homework... cook for my family...
have tea with my best friends...
go shopping whenever i feel like going...
and may be i'll have my own business...

it would be like in fairy tales if all my dreams could come true...
haaaiiizzz...
if only...

*keeping my fingers crossed*

Happy New Year 2010!!
welcoming the new year with hope 2010 will bring abundance of wealth, joy, health and happiness..
the new year has just begin.. its a long way to go.. with new resolutions in hand, i will try my best to make the best of 2010..

i am still not engaged to anybody?? its already 2010 yo!! i am 24 years old this year!!
i want to get married and have kids.. so random! LOL!


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first day of menses! i hate it!
i hate it when it comes and i am worried when it doesnt.. hahahah..
no wonder i've been very moody since last week.. even the smallest thing would make me angry.. haaiizz..

i'm going to be 23 years old tomorrow.. i've received 2 advance birthday presents.. one from my aunt and another one is from my friend.. thank you so much!
anyways, below are all the things that i wish for my birthday :

1. Audi TT Coupe
2. Chanel Handbag
3. Miu Miu Heels
4. Sony Cybershot Camera

=)
is it too much to ask..? hehehehe..
oh well.. a girl can wish and dream as much as she wants right?


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alot had happened since the last time i updated my blog.. i've been robbed, my car had been hit from the back, i started my class and i get an increment..

i feel like i've been through alot this year.. especially the not so good experience.. its like 2009 is really not a good year for me.. sigh.. but life must go on right..?

i am so looking forward for 2010 with hope that 2010 will bring joy and success for me.. i also have a list of resolution for next year! suprise? so am i.. hahahaha.. i am not usually the person who make resolutions for new year..

trying to complete my degree with flying colors would be one of my new year's resolution.. but it looks impossible for me since the course is so difficult! getting 'pass' for any subject would be good enough.. there is absolutely NO reading and memorizing subject! all subjects are calculations subjects! and i am so not good with numbers! i hate numbers! i even hate my credit card total bill numbers!!! i am thinking of quitting.. what say you..? good idea? no? may be mechanical engineering is just not for me.. i've never seen myself in engineering.. i am in this field because of my mom..

i've just receive a text msg from my mom saying that she is making an 'island' in my bedroom.. ISLAND! hahahha.. she said Kimora Lee Simon said every successfull girl must have an island of her own.. huh?? gagagaga.. is this a fungshui thing or what..? well.. i guess i have to get home and discover how my bedroom looks like when its turn into an island.. LOL!


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