Hart of dixie - OMG

I must really really thank Michelle for the GREAT show she has introduced me. 

OMG. this show is leaving me hanging here. I cant believe I have to wait till sept for season 2!!!!!!

Wade is SO HOT. Can anyone NOT agree with me! OMGGGGGGGG

And George is a piece of shit who calls off the wedding like half an hour before they walk down the aisle.

I mean - come on make up your mind! you chose Lemon over Zoe, and next moment u tell lemon you love zoe and you cant marry her. GTH. 

i think he totally deserved the punch on the face. 

And zoe. the most fickle minded human in the world.

first, u tried to break the couple up - i mean indirectly. 

then, u had sex with the very hot wade.

and next, u kiss george at your door when wade is lying in your room. GOD!

EPIC EPIC EPIC!

She's another Elena to be. 

not bad. i love this show! hahahahaha

okay. everyone. ignore this post. 

gdnight! :D  

=.=

BOOOOO! =S

Feeling lousy this early morning! 

received results (1 subject) from last term's exams.

got a low C and for goodness sake. 

Once again, I got a C

it is record breaking for my usual good grades.

i remembered clearly how i felt like stabbing myself after walking out of the exam hall - because i barely wrote 1/2 a page for section A when u needed 4 pages. 

I hate myself for being so stupid without general knowledge and common sense

Sigh! i hate cars. officially. 

and i have people who's saying they may fail and all 

honestly, the real sad ones have not even said a word!

so, be sensitive and stop saying such things. 

Poor Yani. I hope she's feeilng better. 

I promise myself i'll mug like hell this term. 

but im thinking how when im so packed everyday - despite working just 2.5 days a week. 

and honestly, im getting damn sick and tired of people taking me for granted.

when i ask for things - it means i need it.

they really think im so damn free to send several msges over a few days to chase for the same old thing?

im seriously pissed off. 

i used to love and always willing to help organize meetups and all.

but these days, people just make me feel that it's all redudant

now, i shall adopt a new mindset

u want, u ask from me. if not dont even bother thinking that i am going to make sure all things are done well.

i cant be bothered anymore.

people, quit having this expectation of me. 

when i tried, and it doesnt work, dont even think that im going to do it again. 

people who think that im just kicking a fuss over the so called small thing,

get out of my life. 

i don't need anymore wallaces in my life. 

and in fact, he's much better than many in my life right now. 

Sama Sama

Day 2 of work. 

Hmm - Boring. 

Collating data is always a dread. 

But I am definitely more awake today! :) 

Accompanied mum to see doc at hospital yesterday, and YAY she removed her stitches liao.

just that, the wound looks a little red. Hopefully it's not going to be infected. :(

I think im loving this environment. 

lady boss is damn nice

but she bit stubborn - what to do. common trait in old people.

thank god im quite lovely in the eyes of old beings. HAHA!

shes very naggy though. 

silence in office. today talked alittle more.

but yes, compared to the so-fun envt back in prevview, this is considered living hell.

the only consolation is that, no one is micromanaging me and i am not moving office. LOL

boss talked to me as though she wants me to convert to full time after i finish my degree this year.

i shall see.

Because guess what?

whatever im doing now - i did it in Prevview liao.

it's just a more comfortable and nearer place to do work than Prevview.

shes gonna come up with training branch and wants me to take over it if i am doing FT here.

i wouldnt mind. but this company is so small. 

the only different thing i'll be doing is probably matching candidates to jobs when im better at what im doing. 

but it feels so good knowing that im doing part time. the stress, is not there.

okay. back to reading newspapers - job ads

results are out in my letter box today. fingers crossed. though i din fail, but im sure i din do well. SIGH. 

byebye!

Who needs sleep, kee chiew!

Whenever one is sick, you got to learn the art of waiting especially when you have appointments at the hospitals.

That contributes to the big reasons to why one cannot fall sick as u get older.

I'm spending my morning w mum
For her follow up appointment and we've been here since 830am. Now she's finally removing stitches and I think we will be lucky to leave this dreadful place by 12?

I had been wondering.. All these costs for seeing doctor and going for tests are going to build up. Where is the money coming from? Somehow it just does.

So I always tell myself. What doesn't kill makes us stronger.

Chores at home are lesser now considering the recovering old lady wants to poke her Nose into everything whenever I'm not home. And I recognized the fact that I can't be home all the time to tell her what she should be doing - resting, so I'm just going to let her be, as long as she feels comfortable walking around.

The no2 woman in my house now, deserves an award from me. The Guinness world record of laziest woman! I guess if it's possible, she will let me give birth for her also. Living together is not easy, especially when u get leeches who just do not know how to stop sucking your blood. Well they can't, because it's in their blood to annoy the world out of you.

First day of part time job started yesterday. It wasn't too bad a start with a rather nice boss. But the day got unbearable when the office was dead quiet and I had to read newspaper job ads and do data entry. Class in the evening wasn't fantastic as well. We had a new lecturer who marks attendance by calling out our names.... Unbelievable! Means - no skipping class and no leavin after break anymore! Sob :(

I am absolutely loving my Taiwan photos! Come to think of it, perhaps it's time for me to change my background photos for the blog w new photos. What do u think? Haha! Yes when I have time. ;)

Byebye. I'm slightly more awake now!

Sent from my iPhone

Whee - New Job!

Hello! 

I had a very good weekend, actually. :) 

of course - all is good after leaving Prevview. 

It felt like a heavy burden has just been taken off my shoulders. 

though of course, farewell from Big Boss wasnt fantastic,

In fact I'll call that the worst ever. but who cares 

Ended work on wed, and got called up to do relief by Manjusri Secondary on Thursday!

out of nowhere i earned 70 bucks, and spent half a day with clar in school. :)

hmm i think im gonna be calling many more schools! 

Had a full day of class on saturday. 

met Tx after that to meet his BB friends for dinner.

Oh well, someting must have been wrong cuz i was unusually friendly! LOL

but all went well. Went for bowling with them after dinner and reached home at 1230am.. :)

i think im in the midst of knowing new good friends! 

and now - i started work at new recruitment agency.

i don't know, i just love start ups don't i?

haha.. but looking at the boss who adheres so closely to MOM regulations, i don't think shes gonna cheat my money.

she is rather motherly too. 

Sometimes it feels good having not much people to speak to - unlike being in prevview where i had so much fun, i can focus on work.

Phew. im not sure if im going to do well in this new job.

Being a Biz Dev. Consultant - or sales - to get companies in isn't easy.

but i honestly dont mind since it's only 2.5 days of the week

i just have to produce results by hook or by crook. right?

alrighty. back to work.

im SO sleepy!

byebye. :) Im loving my taiwan photos!!!!

If I Knew

I am sick and tired of people taking me for granted.
honestly, if you're thinking of getting something out off me, go away from me.

i never thought that organising a trip for a group of poeple will be that difficult.
but today, i see it and realised.
now it just feels a dread to be doing anything because who knows, everything goes unappreciated.

there are many reasons why people will never be able to stay friends forever.
because their personalities do not fit and why try so hard.
i think i slowly realised that in my years of studies.
coming to my last year, time to wake up the idea!
don't bother. because when you don't bother, nothing bothers you.

today is my last day of work.
i just to leave happily and be happy that im a free soul once again.
of course - free as in i don't need to work that hard in a confined office.
but i work hard at home and all.
so fuck it.

having lunch with big boss soon.
waste my time.
can everyone just leave me alone please?
im going through a really tough time dealing with my roller coaster emotions.
feeling frustrated everyday is just too hard for me to bear.

The new me - the new life

My daily routine:

Morning - Wake up and go to work
Evening - end work and go to SGH visit mum
night - go back wheel sis and asher home from gram's house / class
night night - housework n shower kid
midnight - koon.

Great! I have great life. i really, really missed the good old days.
depressed.

period.

Exhausted

Wah im so tiredddddddddd....
im yawning non stop in the office!
i wish i could just sleeeeeeep forever.
GOD.

mum is getting better.
just moments of breathlessness and drowsiness that are killing her.
i hope the docs can do something about her breathing.
grrrr im super irritatedt that docs are not calling me back.
i'd been hounding the nurses for 3 days.
when i thought it was a basic courtesy to call and update?! SGH can go to hell seriously.

bro and sis moved in on saturday.
and ever since then id been slogging like a maria.
wish me luck man.

im running to hospital every day.
god! so tired. sigh.
but nothing will be as bad as the pain my mum is having.
so oh well. i guess i have no choice but to go.
because when im not there, all i think about is getting there.

i cant wait for work at prevview to end. honestly.
rather than coming here to waste time, id rather be at home or hospital.

goodbye. class starts this week. and i pray for my survival.

Zzzzzzz - A series of unfortunate events

this week had been a rough week.
in fact, very rough.

I was just started to get all excited to edit my photos and upload them on FB at the start of the week,
then to have my mum hospitalised on Tuesday morning.
Honestly, what a holiday.
She was admitted due to vomiting and terrible stomach pain.

Initially we thought that was just food poisoning.
but who knew, the conditions were much more serious.
she was in terrible pain for 2 full days before the docs decided to send her for a scan and x-ray.
she was suspected of infection and crap what appendicitis.
in the end, it turned out to be that her intestines at right abdomen were stuck together.
this has resulted in bowel obstruction and nothing could be passed down.
everything was stuck in her intestines, and then the wasted turned into toxins that were causing her much pain.

just when i thought the pipe suction (or whatever u call it) for the next one day was making her better.
the doctors came to a conclusion that she still has to go for an op - to fix the intestines so that her bowels can be passed down smoothly.
since the pipes suction din really help and she was still in pain, but lesser.

but worried us the most, was another discovery from the scan.
she has a 10cm mass grown on one of her kidneys.
for goodness sake, it's almost the same size of the entire kidney itself!
SIGH. to grow this big, doc said it has been with her for a few years.
and i thank god it's a blessing that we managed to find out through this hospital trip.
and he said, it's highly likely malignant since it has grown THAT big. so a surgery is necessary - to remove her kidney.
it came as a shock to my entire family, especially my poor mum who was still in pain, knowing that she has to go through 2 surgeries one after another.
but the fortunate thing is the cells has not spread to other parts of her body. but more tests need to be run for her lungs and bones to ensure everything is okay.

i mean. honesly how well should we take this news when all we thought was a mere food poisoning case.
in the end they have to open her up two times to make sure she's doing fine.
i was terribly upset two days back. and i cant imagine how my mum is feeling.
had been taking off and running off from office to visit her and spending as much time as i can with her.
the fear of losing her is scary.

and of course, i took over the household chores at home so as not to worry my mum.
it's been a painful process to do accumulated housework back home after a long day at work and hospital.
and whats worse? im a newbie at it, and it's damn tiring lah.
sigh. the saddest thing was when i was doing stuff at home, i kept getting reminded of my mum who had been doing all this crap for so long.
it was difficult to not think about it at all.
and it really pricks me to see her in pain, lying on the bed. the part when i have to hold back all these emotions and ensure that i still smile and talk when im with her, and consoling the poor dad at home at the same time, is gross.

as hospital bills are piling up, i have my bro scrambling to claim for insurances and deciding a ward for mum.
life sucks because i never had savings and i wont be able to churn out money anytime soon since i am leaving this full time job.
the only plus point about leaving now is, i will have more time at home to help out and spend time with mum.
my sis in law, who's giving birth to her 3rd kid real soon have difficult moving on her own and walking, not to mention now she has a little asher to take care.
so i told them to stay in my house, so that i can help with housework and the kid.

life is gonna suck so much for next few months.
i don't know how am i going to handle all this to come.
the thought of it scares me.
but all i want, is my mum to get better.
thinking in her shoes, it's really a 'WTF' feeling that when i thought it was nothing, i get to go thru 2 surgeries and remove one kidney forever. WTF.
poor thing. i really pray she gets better soon. and i have to be strong!!!!!

i have no mood to go out, lost my great appetite for food and i thank god that tx and some really good friends are here for me.
but i will survive!!!!!! GRR!!!!!!! :D

byebye world. back to clothes and laundry. visiting mum later as she just had her intestinal surgery.