IM IRANNOYED

sigh.
how bad can a job get?
it gets bad when - u love whatever work you're doing now. But the welfare - pay, cpf, transportation, office, everything sucked.
especially when you get great colleagues that you love so much and you just can't set foot to leave.

right now. we are on the verge of starting a new/sub venture apart from the all big prevview job portal.
tribe lex is indeed my baby. and i want it to work.
but - how to work when this is the case?
workload increases, i work till 7 or even 10pm everyday, but nothing comes to me in return.
not even a simple thank you for working hard
and then u delay my cpf like nothing
fucked up.

im trying to get over the fact that yes we're not getting the money, since the company is in shit state we shall just try to accomodate.
but how?!
now we don't even get the simplest welfare - to have a comfortable work space we can work in.
within 1 year, i shifted my co. once, and changed desk once, and now im moving to TPY
and guess what? TPY is not final. we will be moving again.
i hate to be treated like some tiny organism alive in the entire eco-cycle.
get this right - if the company is not earning, it is not the employees' fault. it is the management and directions given.
decisions made will explain.

this is already an awesome team.
we have the most capable people working for you.
and yet, you want to push the limits.

i havent ranted about this for so long. but this is really going too far.

it's hard to resist the push factors ya know. to get out of this place.
what's left is the bond between friends, and jobs that give you free will.

sigh - i really really need to sit down and think what i want in life.
i feel that i am not going anywhere.
at least, not for now.

goodbye

Tired TTM

Wah! I'm so sleepy right now.
exam period is always a nightmare for me.
because somehow, my work in office is never ending. and it's especially hard now with just 3 women in the team, including me. :(

worked till 10pm just to finish some of the work last night, with michelle.
wa lao eh it's really painful to be working the cold office after 7pm.
the amount of energy drained was exaggerating - because i could barely keep my eyes open when it's finally 945pm
once i reached home, i stoned, and i slept.

just finished a large portion of my revision - studied like mad. cuz i want to go for dinner with bf later. :)
got expiring dining vouchers and i need to spend it.

and yay! good news.
we finally signed the lease agreement for our flat! :)
this means - i am planning for marriage plans already.
and yes, grace chan is finally going to get married soon! oh. ok maybe not so soon. a few years time.
seems so long to me.
but compared the last time, i think i am able to see long term periods better than before.
i guess it makes a difference when you are half past 50 years old?
haha.
i don't know.

but yes, the route to after 25 feels scary.
this is when we decide what we really want to do in our career
and sadly, i have absolutely no idea where i should progress.
its funny cuz i was talking to michelle about the different stages in life.
and she told me, when she's 25, she was a little depressed when her birthday passed.
and it seemed pretty normal cuz her sister and friends went through that too.
at least for a month or two.
haha. im not surprised.
but it is high time to think about whether i want to stay in this stupid office or not.
i'd been doing alot more planning than before, which i really enjoy.
just that all the other mundane work like video editing is drowning and sucking my life away.
and also - what do i get after all these hard work?
i do not know.

thinking of finding a part time job after this term's exams.
as usual - i take a thousand years to decide even before i realise it.
i havent had a break - ever since when? school days where i slogged my life away for asc.
then immediately went to work, continued slogging.
and even after i passed the asc era - like finally, i am still slogging for my work and studies.
i don't know when is this going to end.
like it will ever end right?
older people will say im whining and complainig big time about my life.
in fact, i am not. i am just tired.
and i want to spend sometime behaving like a student.
before i really need to go out there and get some real cash.

and yes! im in the midst of planning a business w my fellow colleagues.
im gonna make sure this happens.

alrighty. time to slp to rest my brain before i wake up to study again.
and then, thats dinner with bf! :D
it feels really good seeing him these days. hehehe.

Byebye!

A signature means a 1001 things

YUP!
i signed it.
the hdb lease agreement with tx at HDB yesterday.

it felt indeed heavy, because i am now officially in debt.
aiyah, whats the big deal right, not like i was never in debt before this.
but yup. 30years of debt is quite scary.
by then, im 55 years old.

quite happy.
that we finally settled the housing part! :)
now im hyperly excited to even start thinking about our wedding! hehehe.
yes yes, grace chan's dream of getting married is happening soon.

heard from my colleague today the bto would probably take only 1.5 to 2 years to come instead of the 3 years that was stated.
so.... hurray. 2 years ain't too hard to pass.
just that by then, im 27 years old.

i think numbers are a scary thing.
whenever i think about it, i get scared.

oh well. shall not think too much now.
because my exam is less than 5 days away.
concentrate grace chan!

should i apply for a job in SP as alumni officer?
it sounds exciting. :)
work is piling up every day.
i think im gonna die by end of may.

gdnight peeps. i need sleep. my head is exploding. arghHH!!!
gdnight. :)

can i blog can i blog?!

Yes I can. :)

Before I officially start work, I shall!

Well. Port Dickson did the trick on me being a little happier this week, despite knowing clearly thaat i don't know when my pay for feb is gonna come in.
oh well. i will try to keep applying for jobs.
but now, i don't have any capacity to go for interview - if i do get called up - because my project and upcoming exams are consuming me!!!!

guess staying up till late for the next few weeks, is a Sure thing.

had diinner with my colleagues and boss and big boss last night.
im sorry but to think everything is just talk.
all the promises, to help with resources to make things fly, are not working on me.
because as a matter of fact - if you can spend $10,000 cash to entertain ur guests and u refuse to pay your staff
then why should we even slog for you?
a dinner treat on the last day of the month did not do its justice to make us feel better that pay will be late late late again.
so. whatever.
all the drafting of whitepaper crap is making me tired and pissy.
right now, i even prefer editing videos to doing the stupid white paper which will never come to light. for what, waste my brain cells.

the only happy thing at work these days is - i love my colleagues! Michelle, Kiran, fuzzy and Erwin.
they rock my world whenever im in office. :)
i think it's the fact that we're staying together that keeps up alive.
how else? really.
this is definitely somethign i never used to get back in tp. so i guess it's something valuable enough for me to take my time to get out of this place.

my back is getting better. while im trying to adjust my sitting posture. but it's hard cuz my neck has been aching like hell.
and yes! im peeling from the sun bath back in port dickson. but i'd still LOVE to be back there again! :D

and tonight. grrr! im watching some horror show with kiran and michelle - the devil inside.
eeeek! im so scared now.
hope i don't die hiding myself behind my jacket tonight.
it's been a 1000 years since i last watched a horror movie.. ----- haha! that makes me horrifying too if i'm 1025 years old. :)

okay. time to go!
i don't know how im going to finish my project....
but i'll try my best.
and and and.. i scored well for my last term exams! 3A and 1B =D

byebye.