Last Friday of the Year. =)

Hello!

It's the last friday of the year!
My colleagues and i did the move this morning.
Right now, I'm blessed with a little corner for myself, with a wall beside me
and a huge table that makes my table almost empty even with my laptop!
My boss said, 'eh grace u're sitting so far away from me!'
I nodded, said 'yeah loh!'
BUt in my heart, im thanking god that im so far away!

Hasnt been a greatttt week so far.
heard that one of my team member is resigning. next week is her last week.
it's a pity and its always sad to see people go.
next, another of my colleague is going to be transferred to another sister company in toa payoh.
sigh. bye people.
New year with new things. argh im emo-ing!
thinking to myself, now all my colleagtues are stranded and stretched to take up projects from other sister companies.
when is it my turn?
currently, i'm the only one thats fully doing prevview's stuff. oh well.
quite demoralizing i would say.

on the other hand!
i'm glad it's the end of the year!
because i am still in the holiday mood since xmas last week.
havent had the heart to work at all.

honestly, i really havent sat down to think about next year.
all i know is, next year is going to put me to a great test.
greatest ever.
final year upon completing my degree, which weighs 70% of my entire score.
and im facing the little slack right now - refusal to go to class is bad. -.-
and next, work will be piling up and becoming more challenging next year as we face a tougher job market and new revamps into business models.
im not sure how this is going to go, but i think im just going to go with the flow and see how it goes.
no point fretting over it and stressing myself out!!!

This new year, i just want to have fun with my friends
and i want a good relationship with bf
good health with my family and little nephews and grandma
parents to stop their gambling habits
and finally, happiness! :)

i think the word happiness covers many aspects of what i want for next year, doesnt it? :)

shall blog again on 1st January 2012!

Happy new year to the world.
while i dwell in celebration and deep thoughts on setting my priorities for the year.

Byebye. :)

Great Wednesday at work

It's great because
I have nothing much to do
there are not much people around, including my boss.
And I have time to write an entry. LOL

It's bad because
i'm really bored.
wish i can just fake up some meeting and go off early.
omg. last week of work is seriously bad!!!

im having tonnes of fun transferring videos onto ipad!!!
Cant wait to switch it on and watch it on the go! :D

Something has been on my mind recently, that i really have to say it out!
I think i have the best bf one can ever have. at least, for me. :)

Here are the reasons why he rocks,
1) He never flares at me unnecessarily - that becomes rare since i seldom need that 'necessary' bit
2) He always thinks for me even before i think for myself - that is something really sweeeeeet =)
3) He lets me go out with whoever I want, with absolute trust in me - hmmm but it's not so much these days. hmmmm haha!
4) My family loves him, and his family loves me - this is important u know.
5) All my friends like him too. :)
6) He is always patient. With my questions, nonsense, tantrums. I love it when he speaks to me nicely even when im frowning.
7) He is always giving in to me, except when it's necessary to give me a good scolding.
8) Im always pretty and nice and sweet to him. No matter what others says.
9) He gets adorably angry when i'm bullied by others. hhaa!
and.. many more. :)

Most importantly, I don't think anyone loves me more than he does.
He's not just a bf to me, but my best friend and my family because he knows my house better than i do.
I don't know how this relationship has come this far.
But I am sure he is a gift to me. because grace chan has always been a brat. not easy to maintain or handle.
but he knows it so well!

i love him to bits.
and finally recently he is changing his dressing style and all.
i know it's because of me, somehow or rather.
awwww.

Alright, writing all these will show u how bored i am at work.
but i think it is an important entry.
because i never say any of these to bf before. he'll be happy to read this.
as for the rest, just swallow it la huh. :)

I totally want to spend the rest of my life with him. at least right now, towards the end of 2011. :)

Ho Ho Ho! Merry Xmas!

Hello world, merry xmas to all, if any of my friends are reading this post. :)

I'd been wanting to blog for the past few days, but honestly life had been really too chaotic.
i felt that i din even have much time to rest.
today is the first day after the past 2 weeks that i switched on my computer and watched some shows.
And it does feel DAMN good, slacking home not doing anything!

of course, given this festive season, i have received xmas greetings from some friends and people that perhaps i barely remember.
it's good to hear from them though.
sometimes we'd been so busy that i think, we forget about one another.

22nd thursday night was a blast because i attended my company dinner at Wavve restaurant.
it totally felt like a social networking session with colleagues from other branches and sister companies.
from our team, only kiran and i were there. i especially hated such gatherings because we just talk nonstop about things that don't really bother us.
it got me pretty bored from time to time.
i have, for the first time, see that my ceo is a man who loves to get ppl drinking.
ppl who can drink, are considered good.
those who cant, like me, are considered lousy.
and there u go seeing the managers gulping down one glass after another.
whether they like it or not.
we will all have to recognize that in a corporate world, it's no longer about how hard u work, but how hard u try to please your boss.

i ended up drinking beer the whole night, laughing at my drunk colleagues.
and then got frightened by one of them who kept chasing after me after he got drunk.
till i got so scared that i started hiding behind ppl.
oh well. that was a culture shock to me i guesS? LOL.
i never ever thought that drinking could be such a disaster. and i nv once felt so strongly that i had to go home.
was quite drunk by the time i got home at 1am. got nagged by parents and there u go, i slept without even showering... GRR gross i know.

thank god i was on leave on 23rd.
but i felt rather sorry having the hangover because it was supposed to be a graet day out with bf. =.=
but the day got better after lunch!
we shopped and yay he bought some really nice shirts - which i loved! :)
i can totally see that he's trying to dress a little older these days. so cute! :)
watched sherlock holmes and it was a great show to laugh our heads off.

christmas eve was a bad bad day to be shopping in town. GRR!!
brought bf to my hairdresser in far east and he has a new hairstyle now!
totally removed his helmet hair and i am ever happy about it. :)
what a good looking and nicely dressed bf now. hahah! not that he was not to start with. LOL
i nearly fainted - literally - squeezing with the crowd from wisma to taka.
it was a HORRIFYING experience walking thru the crowd.
but i had to because needed to shop for xmas presents for my colleagues - yes xmas dinner is tonight.
sigh, what a bomb that i have planted for myself. my heart is bleeding!

had a very nice dinner with tx and family last night at pizza hut.
i cant help but to feel good because im mingling really well with his parents and bro right now.
it feels strangely good that i feel that i have another family out there right now.
how often do i get to have dinner with my own parents?
well, hardly these days, especially when i was all alone at home last night when they're out gambling.
oh well. i shall not comment too much on that because they do need to enjoy themselves once inawhile.

recently, it has hit me rather badly that i'm losing my bff.
once called. i mean.
for the past many months, i tried so hard just to arrange for a dinner that comes only in months
and now, its especially harder when his gf came to spore to stay.
i mean - if it's for permanent - i guess we will nv have our own fair share of private moments anymore.
i know he has to care about how his gf feels.
but i ever remembered how hard i tried to meet and all despite having a bf like tx.
it got me pretty upset for the past few days acknowledging this fact, thinking that my own bestie would be different from other guys
but sadly, no.
so yup! for the new year, i am not going to put in much effort to arrange for meetups anymore.
because i have reached my limits and did not understand why i have to go thru all this.
not that i am not a busy person, i am HELL busy. and i guess when grace chan says she gives up, she means it.
so yup....... i wish him all the best. not that it's not a happy thing to start with. :)

clar and ben are going to aussie next year.
now i am already feeling it despite its another half a year to go.
sigh so it indeed feels different when one is going to be really far away.
once so felt it when mic and debo went overseas.
lets just hope that the friendship remains - of course it will! - while everyone grows in their own paths

okay! blog again!
i really really really love my boyfriend. :)
lets reflect on the year when i have more time, and more energy next week. :P

I know I am kinda challenging myself once again.. I'm actually using iPhone to blog! This is quite crazy and I perhaps may cry if my screen suddenly disappears after I accidentally press the wrong key, which is quite normal for me..

Wow I've had the craziest week ever that got me so tired. And the craze is still going on. While I'm writing now I am also struggling to keep awake on the bus to office. I'm travelling to the old office this morning for a meeting.. And I'm totally enjoying the peace on the bus. Though circle line to office these days are not as crowded than being on the green line, I am hatin the hassle and seeing how quickly the crowd moves in and out of the train. It's kinda stressful and makes me feel like I'm really part of the community now.

Now back to what I've done last week. It was a fantastic week I would say. Both at work and off work. But of course I think it has driven me to my limits and now I wish im home hibernating. Work had been slightly relaxing, compared to the craze I was facing few weeks back. I hosted a workshop at Ite east last thursday on my own, with help of my colleagues of course here and there. Boss was on mc and I have to admit I felt super nervous doing this on my own.

The great thing was that the bunch was a great one. They were student ambassadors and supposedly the better bunch. We were there during their day 2 of camp. Trust me I totally felt like I was back in conducting a students camp. It was so familiar and I have to say I really missed being in Asc. But it also made me realize that as long as u have the passion and patience to teach, it really doesn't matter which sch u are in. But of course, students being a lovely bunch will be a bonus. After the session, it kinda made me more firm that I would perhaps have a higher calling working in a school than in the corporate world. And perhaps that will be my direction when I graduate at the end of next year. So.. I was quite happy.

After the workshop it was a gross afternoon siting in two long meetings with two other job boards. Yes I pretended to be a hr person to scout for their packages. It wasn't a nice thing to do, and that's also why i feel that I'm getting smarter, but perhaps not in a very nice, and factual way. It was also disheartening to find out that we have so so much to improve on the existing portal. And it's so much that much planning needs to be done and revamping too. Wish me luck for the following year. Because I know it's just gonna be shit loads of work...

Then Friday was a great day to start off my weekend. Did not go to work went to see doc for my infected ear and I was feeling already so exhausted. Met clar for mini shopping and got the Xmas presents for the different people. Went home napped and met the gang again for games at Sis house. I officially died by. 2am and its proven that I'm getting old. Reached home at 4 plus and slept at 5am! Wow right.

Woke up in time for class the next day. Of course once again I dragged myself to sch. After class went to janelle house and we had a mini celebration for the festive season with my favorite turkey, ham and food. By the time I was home, it was 2 already. Died totally till next day afternoon!

Then woke up on Sunday for my another gathering, classmates gathering. Thank god sweet bf happened to have a van that day and drove me and my friends to yishun in the super heavy downpour. Another session of food and games. And yes this marks the end of turkey feasting for the year, I'm getting disgusted! By the time im

Home, it was 1am. Imagine my energy level yest when I dragged myself to work......... Haha but it was of course fun and rewarding in a way losing all these slp. How often do we hang out with these friends that u will prob miss them out when things get busy in the year.

I think I totally missed out blogging on the gathering we had at deb house on 11 dec. it was another gathering filled with fun and laughter. I really miss this bunch.

Haven't really had time to do the norm for end of year, to remember some things that have passed and what have I learnt for the year and most importantly a wrap

Up for this year and plans for year 2012. O well I'm super packed as usual. I wish the time could slow down now so that I can breathe.

Time to rest my eyes before I finally reach my destination :)

Lala Land Soon

Im slpy now.
it's barely 11pm.
I think my bio clock is strange these days.
i will hardly survive beyond 12am, really.

Did work all the way from 9 - 6pm today, except for lunch break.
OMG the amount of admin work to complete this week is ultimate madness.
i think i rock because i am still surviving, but dying.

my colleagues are all excited about putting ideas together for the next wave of marketing campaign for my portal.
oh Well. i felt a little negative - because i don't know how things are gonna change with effect from Jan 2012. The people, the things, the workload.
things are not going to be the same i guess.
Life is just gonna suck, though it's all a new beginning altogether.

it's okay.
after being femo since yesterday about my hard life at work.
I decided to just focus on what needs to be done now.
instead of thinking whats going to happen when the clock strikes and announces the coming of year 2012.

I guess we should all just enjoy the holiday season now. right? :)

Met Zw and Mic for dinner just now.
YAY finally met my bestie, yes mr lim after damn long.
it was nice catching up with both of them without gene talking nonstop at the side, for once. :)

thank god i have a bunch of great friends.
honestly. if not i don't thikn i would be surviving at Prevview till now.
it hasnt been easy. but i know i am doing well.
just that, whether it's all worth it... it's up to me to define. and of course, many other factors that are to come.

im still pondering over the priority of work and studies.
weighing the pros and cons.
i think this is going to last for awhile.
but it's okay, im not acting up my usual nonsense because of this....
i'll take one step at a time.

I'm quite decided. I may not want to go aussie next year!
cuz mic said activities outside cease at 5pm.
i'd prefer HK if thats the case cuz the night life on the streets rocks!

love. gdnight.
gd luck for my dear bf's exam tomorrow! :D

Feeling the weight on my shoulders

Didn't have a too good day yesterday at work.
went for a meeting with boss that got us into shit talking to 2 angmohs.
cuz we cancelled a workshop on them one day before that.
well - due to many circumstances so it's not entirely our fault - though i would say we need to bear some responsibility.

ended, had starbucks with boss
bitched about work
and she told me more progress of whats work gonna be for us next year.
it sucks when she tells me and im not allowed to tell the world.
honestly, i don't need to know that much.
because it does not make me feel any better.

i only know my workload for next year is gonna crazy.
other than recruiting jobseekers to register, get ppl to do video, collaborating with schools/organisations/workshops..
i gotta do sales also.
i mean - i know im great, but not that great.

feeling the stress all over.
i don't want to do this, at all.
with delayed salaries and immense workload,
i had been already super overloaded.

i don't know how am i going to deal with this new job scope altogether.
but i know im not taking it very well right now.
feeling very unmotivated, like everything at work just seems to feel so heavy.

if im to leave this job, where do i go?
it's not easy finding a good team like i have over here.
i cherish all the colleagues/friends i have made here.
it's not easy to adapt to yet another new environment and deal with my schoolwork at the same time.

sigh. life really sucks.
i either endure or i quit.
it's that simple.
i don't know whats my priority now.
studies of course, right!
so what does that mean?

feeling really low.

mum is asking me to quit my job.
everyone is.
but i love what im doing right now.
thats the only reason why im still here.

so.. whats the next step?

no idea.

I need to do better

Apparently I'm trying to use the iPad to type an entry.
It is extremely tedious actually and I just had a whole paragraph deleted not knowing what happened.

Had a rather fruitful day today!
Went for a run with gene and Eric today. Though it wasn't a fantastic calory burning run, I know I'm on the right track!!
Just have to try harder for my dec resolution. I will achieve this. :)

Right after breakfast, I think I went crazy.
I packed my room from 11 till 430pm today!!
I'm not done yet, but at least did half of everything and now my room looks sparkling clean !!

I was rather intrigued by the show watched with jia Seng yesterday.
It was hard not thinking about it.
You are the apple of my eyes.
It was a hilarious and light hearted show with a good plot.
It really showed how we grew up through sec and poly years quite amazing,
I didn't believe gene before I watch it but now I do.
And I think it really brought out the part very well - that the one u love may not be the one u marry at the end of the day.
Also, sometimes one puts in effort in something, but results is not everything. The process matters most.
It set me thinking for awhile.
It wasn't an exactly happy happy ending. But I was happy because the ending simply showed that the process of achieving something is much more fulfilling than actually achieving it at the end of the day.

Okay enough of that, I downloaded the PDF version of the novel.
Yes yes it's in Chinese!!! But I'm sure I can conquer this, hahahaha.

Next, went over to tx house for dinner,
His mum cooked a spread today and I sooooo enjoyed my dinner!!! :)
Thanks aunty. I pray tat I can get to eat ur food forever.

Had a good talk with my parents earlier.
They got lucky today and won some money from lottery.
And then they talked about all the debts they have accumulated over the years
Things that I have never heard before until today.
It was rather shocking for me knowing how much exactly they owe my uncles, aunties and friends.
Sigh at that moment, I could totally feel their pain of living thru a life like that. Just to bring us up.
But I know my parents are such giving people that they would rather worry on their own than adding the burden on our shoulders
This act is totally causing me to have tears in my eyes,
Little people will understand this feeling unless u have such parents.
So this is what parent hood is about I guess.
I think I have a better understanding of what unconditional love means.
I'll just have to do better and earn more and take good care of them next time.

And my salary for last month is only in tomorrow.
It bugged me throughout the weekend and Im really pissed
The late payment in salary has been causing me to screw up my dates to clear the bills for the last few months.
And this month it is the latest, sighhhhh
I hate my life when this happens!!!!!!!

Alrighty time for bed before I miss the alarm clock tomorrow again,
Gunfight!!!! :)

Zip it? Yeah okay.

This is going to be pretty angry post.
Since that is gonna reflect pretty much on how i'm feeling now.

i was upset just now.
but now im just angry.

it was all good out with JS today.
and till once again he started telling me about the disadvantages of dating a younger guy.
not that i have not heard before, but honestly, everytime?

I am one person who needs more support than having someone tellnig me about the harsh facts of life.
that fact - i know.
but what i need more is someone telling me that i can pull thru and this will work out.


i know im putting on weight, getting fatter, chubbier, or whatever u guys call it.
And tell me more about how guys only care about physical appearance and sex.
like that is going to make me feel better.
and that is going to motivate me to lose more kilos.
i Am who i am. If i am like that, so be it.
i needed to know there is a less superficial world out there. at least, a little more differnt from the field im working in right now.
no matter how confident i feel about myself, my personality, it still wouldnt work?
if it is, then how did the ugly girls get their bfs and get married and be happily ever after?

my ego just got crushed. when he has to mention that i grow horizontally all the time when he meet.
and how i need to change that to still be with my bf.
u know how sad it is? because it feels that i have nothing to keep my bf with me except for how i look.

i don't know how to be positive if... people tell me how negative this seems.
my mind has already been going on a roller coaster ride lately and i cant afford another one.
and now finally and im down.

it was okay, i just needed to shout it out and get it over with. the fact that i have a blunt friend who speaks his mind.

but it was not okay - thinking that he is still right for being too blunt and he got blamed for speaking his mind.
there are many sides to the coin yes. and there are many ways to put across certain messages too.
this made me particularly upset.

if zipping your mouth helps... then why be a friend in the first place? thats totally not what i meant at all. but forget it. since he thinks hes right all the time.

Grace is a really nice girl, but many of her friends don't understand that she has that side of her that cannot be touched.
sometimes she don't say it not because shes indifferent or not bothered. just because she respects friends and their thinking. but not too much. it hurts.

sigh. it was a mistake in the whole beginning. to even talk about such things. i shouldnt have started it because now i know i may just lose a good friend for good. either ways.

gdnight. i shall chill and life will be better tomorrow.

Im - Abnormal

Dear Diary,

I just spent over 400+ bucks over the past few months to know that, I am abnormal. Yes!

Finally went for the last doc appt today, after my CT Scan that was done on Monday.
The abnormal swelling on my left rib was concluded as an abnormal formation of my rib cage.
my entire left rib contour looks dented and weird. while the right one looks nicely rounded.

LOL. no biggie. Doc said theres nothing they can do about it. and i just have to live with it.
no surgery is required. and so, i'm alive and abnormal!

finally, thats the end to the entire hospital adventure. :)

and to all my friends who had been worried, yes grace chan is fine and never dying!!!! :D
thanks for all the concerned so far. heartfelt thanks though i nv said it. :)

oh and oh!
it seems like wallace lim is pissed off with clar and i.
oh well. i don't know what actually happened.
but honestly, that snapping period is not needed.

Hurray! it's weekend!
And blah. it's school again on mOnday. ahhh!!!!!