once again, wkend is lovely

=) well it's one pm. i woke up like barely half hr ago.

slept like crap on sat morning too. a total of about 10 hours. i missed all my alarm clocks and did not wake up at all. guess i was dead tired. haha. this week had been one of the most hectic ones.

met zhiwei yest.
all was good.
mac for lunch.
sang songs at tcc where the sound systems really sucked.
went lemongrass at siglap for dinner.
=) they're so kind to still rem both of us.
worked there last time.
and we had free desserts and discounted. haha.

then was pool at parkway.
and saw a bunch of delinquents sniffing glue beside us.
wad the heck.
it was rather scary though. haha.
had a long talk with zw downstairs my hse for hrs.
not anything abt jx though. felt rather good.

back home at 2 plus.
talked to mummy for hours till abt 5.
knwoing that she's leaving in the morning to KL
so i decided to talk more cuz i'll miss her.
haha.

and now im awake!
going to singtel shop to check up broadband plan.
dinner at suntect today.
hopefully it's not too crowded.

i wish i've more time to do things i want.
more time for myself.
haha.
pray la. it'll come.

alrights. cya.

love.

dwell dwell dwellll......

Ahuh.
i'm back here again after quite sometime.
what can i say.

completed the hi-bye game with my medicine friends at work.
completed the excel sheet full of expiry dates that had them engraved in my mind right now.
and i feel good. cuz thats the task of the wk, and im done.
close friend at work just left today, last day at work.
he wrote me a card thats full of crap that could make me tear.
sigh. another cycle of boring days are to come.
i cant help but to feel emo.

met my beloved ppl for dinner.
i shall not mention it's QSS since... it doesnt feel like it anymore.
it's just me sis kong mic and juv.
wallace lim that nv appeared. and so be it. i cant be bothered anymore.
he can que sera sera as long as he wants.
then he'll realise when he finally settles down we're no longer ard.
cont to take clar and i for granted.
feelings of unappreciation just kept running thru my veins. it sucks.

not exactly having a good night over here.
though i wish all sweet dreams and gdnite.
thought i would slp peacefully at least for one night.
sigh. it was not possible with the stunts zw and jx were giving me.
and yes. a part of my worries faded away when i received zw's phonecall.
but yes. the rest of my worries got manifested.
and it became rounds and rounds of scolding and reprimanding.
im so sorry. but im at my limit for swallowing wads to come.

i've said all i wanted to, and needed to.
being stuck in between made me feel breathless for the past few months.
and if it's to cont... there'll be one more depressed soul in spore.
i need some space to breathe and eat and slp and rest.
so i requested for some.
but wad to come was something i couldnt stand swallowing.
all the sayings of my importance as a friend, how impt my support is.. blah blah.
that just caused my tears rolling down my cheeks.
cuz im so sorry. thats all that i can do. and i feel i can do no more.
so. right now. emo crap is back here again.

why say all that. when.. it doesnt feel that i can change one's life anyway.
ur decisions. ur call. it has been like that all the time.
my words, my scoldings and rantings. all for myself to hear.
my mood goes on a roller coaster all the time.
how am i to take it?

i cant bloody cope with al these.
wish that i could have a few more days rest in the hosp.
where.. i din have to worry abt anything but myself.
this is sucky man.

sigh.
this is it la.
i need a break.
just give me this weekend for it.
i'll be around from next week onwards.
i try.
but i still believe it's up to one to decide for their own life. theres no such things as not able to control. no way.

feeling damn sian.
going to bed.
blogged at such hours. 3am. knowing that i wont be in time to blog when i wake up.
haha.

laugh it off.
gdnight.
la la land.

i hate wednesdays!

haha. yes. cuz im freaking tired now.
met mag hor and zhiwei for dinner last night.
and it turned out to be the lonnnggg talk we had.
and now all im feeling is just lethargy.
wondering how the other 2 is doing. but yeah. guess both are tired too.
haha.

what have i been doing?
going out till late.
slping late.
feeling tired at work and thank god it's finally wed.
hating weds as well cuz it's the most tiring day of the week.

gues sit's a wrong choice to have went out till late for the past consecutive nights over the weekend.
i'm stupid sometimes i know. haha.
cuz i know i'll be tired.
but who cares. it's too late to complain now!.

wad.. wAD.. WADDDD.....
haha.
just feel like screaming. haha. retarded.

alrights.
today shall be another day to visit my friends at work..
the panadol.. flu medicines. and thousand more.
just to check if they're still alive. or if i need to prepare for their funeral.
HAHA. expiry dates.
sigh. i hope i've the mood to do today.
aim to finish it within these 2 days! =)

headache.
shall pop panadol later.
haha.

love.

Rain rain go away

it's raining again.
such weathers tend to get one more emo than usual.
haha...
and staying home in such weather is good for slping too. im probably napping soon.

peck sent me songs last night to my phone.
theres this song thats damn nice. haha.

Another You bY cascada

So many times I was alone I couldn't sleep

You left me drowning in the tears of memory

And ever since you've gone, I found it hard to breathe

Cause there was so much that your heart just couldn't see

A thousand wasted dreams rolling off my eyes

But time's been healing me and I say goodbye

Cause I can breathe again, dream again

I'll be on the road again

Like it used to be the other day

Now I feel free again, so innocent

Cause someone makes me whole again for sure

I'll find another you

Could you imagine someone else is by my side

I've been afraid he couldn't keep myself from falling

My heart was always searching for a place to hide

Could not await the dawn to bring another day

Your not the only one so hear me when I say

The thoughts of you, they just fade away

Cause I can breathe again, dream again
I'll be on the road again
Like it used to be the other day
Now I feel free again, so innocent
Cause someone makes me whole again for sure
I'll find another you

Sometimes I see you when I close my eyes

You're still apart of my life

Cause I can breathe again, dream again

I'll be on the road again

Like it used to be the other day

Now I feel free again, so innocent

Cause someone makes me whole again for sure

I'll find another you

I'll find another you

Rights.
all the past are memories
whether it's nice to keep, it'll be up to one to decide.
=) I'll be happy.
thats the grace's spirit. =)

alrights.
im going to nap before i head to dhoby ghaut.
gonna get some stuff for bdae card making
im lazy to go cuz it's rainingggggg... =(
ahha.
cya.

Bimbotic SAturday

haha.
this had been an unhealthy weekend.
went out with junhui and his friend on friday night.
the 2nd time i met this guy called desmond.
haha.
it was weird.
we played pool and went for a drink after that.
sigh this junhui was being damn moody after some casual remark that i made.
cant stand such guys sometimes.
taking everything so seriously.
oh well. i reached home at 3 plus, slept at 4.

woke up at 8 plus and went down to kk for my scan.
finished quite fast, short waiting time and that made my morning feel better.
peck and i ate at Ma Maison at bugis.
this jap cum western food restaurant.
haha. i ate omelette fried rice. NOT bad. =)
peck ate this steak with a super strong red wine gravy.

after that was a series of shopping.
cuz i got my pay. =)
got myself a skirt and some other random things like a new watch.
got peck a watch too. =)

we ate mango and apple strudel opp bugis junction for afternoon tea.
felt good sitting there and watched the rain that nv seemed to stop.
haha. freezing cold!

went home, and we went out again.
to meet the bimbos - Kong the queen, and audrey.
as well as zhiwei.
there we went on our way to the Jap festival in this jap sch in changi.
omg trust me. we're really quite bimbotic. HAHA.
who wouldnt be with those 2 girls around.
haha......

we ate tonnes of weird food, desserts.
and played funny jap games at the fair.
- fishing with paper nets (though there're no fishes but rubber balls), and for colourful balloons using hooks on paper.
tried the jap ashahi beer too. ==)
and we felt cheated paying for a RICE ball for 2 bucks by a little jap girl. haha!

after departing from jap school after all those squeezing in the crowd.
i was DAMn tired alr. cuz since friday night i'd been walking alot!!!
so we took a bus, then a cab into east coast, tts just me zhiwei and peck.
headed down to bernice and sat down for a drink.
gosh. i tried this graveyard with zhiwei.
and yeah it brought me to my grave.
i think it's the grossest drink ever. goshhhh. guinness stout!
din puke, but i kinda died after tt.
sprinting on the roads of east coast with my pants and shoes was quite fun though. =D
got home at 1! thats early right.
=) thanks to peck and zw who nv failed to bring me home safely. haha...

now im awake! at 12 plus one.
shall stone at home and wait for mama's food,
till im out in the evening.
wonder wad time i'll be home tonight. i hope it'llbe earlier than 1. =)

sigh. damn packed next week.
tues to sunday. ALL packed. damn sian.
so i predict it'll be a tiring week ahead.
shall rest more now.
and will upload photos if i can.
cuz i seriously still do not know how to handle my new phone.
=) i want a screen protector!!! =p

love,
gracey

It's tiring to be nice

quit being a nice person.
that makes life so much easier.
haha.
well. thats wy it's always easier to be angry than to be nice and forgive.

sigh.
i hate martian sometimes.
acting like a freaking alien who refuses to reply on time.
u know.
im bloody tired of having to organise stupid outings that nv get replies allt he time?
food place i decide, movie i decide, where to go i also decide.
wads up with these ppl.
the only thing they need to do is to hang out and laugh and talk crap.

im tired.
so decided to jsut move away for awhile.
doing these things often could drive one crazy.

and i shouldnt say im in exactly a good mood today.
so that explains my irritability.
guess i woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
so irritating!

yup. HAHA.
quit being nice.
quit being the bigggg person
that swallows all nonsense.
alright.s

cya. =)

A thursday of the week

Yeah.
don't nkow wad title to put now.
haha... well. i don't know if i'll be going online tonight.
so decided to type an entry now.

pharmacy has been peaceful and well
how there had been quite alot of stock discrepancies
which got my friend raelly stressed up.
poor girl. i do hope it'll be over soon.

=) supposed to meet qingyuan and jer for dinner at kenny rogers later.
but qy last min couldnt make it.
and i decided not to eat with jer. HAHA.
no la.. feeling quite lazy to go all the way to have dinner.
would rather have some simple dinner dowmstairs my house or at home.
this week is a homely week man. cuz i'd been home often. =)
mum is happy.

havent really been at peace lately. no matter how hard i try.
haha. guess peace nv comes by when u try damn hard.
cuz ur heart is nv peaceful when u try.
sigh. mood is like a rollercoaster again.
im LAME. haha.

im so slppy!
going to fall aslp soon. it's nearly five PM.
im happy,. cuz work's ending at 6pm.
cant wait to leave this place.
cuz they're doing unreasonable schedules for me again.
pissed off.
and yet my older colleague said it's no point complaining to the person who does this.
then?! just gotta suck it up?
im sorry but i do not like being a sucker all the time.
haha.
how. being in a place where speaking up doesnt help until one is finally leaving.
thats when u see changes done and implemented just to keep you from leaving.
wad a dumb policy and way of working.

maybe im not used to working life just yet?
or it's taking a little long like 1 year plus to get used to pharmacy life.
haha.

complaints and whining.
that sall i do.
if not.. i've nowhere to vent my frustrations.

haha.
so pardon me pls.


i'm going off!
cya. -)

time alone

at home right now.
bro and sis-in-law hogging onto the tv in living room.
mum listening to her songs in the room.
and here i am. listening to songs
and trying hard to surf the net with this pathetic comp that slows my brain.

haha.
feeling really tired.
think im going to fall aslp any moment
so i'm gonna go read the book that i borrowed from national lib last week.
havent read it.
cuz it makes me think.

feels good to be alone.
sometimes being emo is not necessarily a bad thing.
it's a kinda.. reflection time.
things that i should not do..
things that i shouldnt let it happen again.
what can i do to stop all these from happening.
blah.

nonsensical i know. =D hahas.

just heard of this song that got me kinda sad.
it's SO true. if your heart's not in it, i'd rather walk away.
i did. and am doing. =) though im not sure if it's best way out.
but it's sad that not everyone can do that.
which would end up suffering. sigh.

i'll be fine soon. just give me a lil more time. =)
sometimes being truthful kinda sucks too.
alrights.
im resting my eyes before my bedtime story.
nights =)

love.

If Your Heart's Not In It"

I'm missing you

Girl even though you're right here by my side

Cause lately it seems The distance between us is growing too wide

I'm so afraid that you're saying it's over

The last thing that I wanna hear

But if your heart's not in it for real

Please don't try to fake what you don't feel

If love's already gone

It's not fair to lead me on

Cause I would give the whole world for you

Anything you ask of me I'd do

But I won't ask you to stay

I'd rather walk away If your heart's not in it

You say that you love me

But baby sometimes

You're just saying the words

If you've got somethin' to tell me

Don't keep it inside

Let it be heard

I'm so afraid that you're saying it's over

Girl I'll make it easy for you

But if your heart's not in it for real

Please don't try to fake what you don't feel

If love's already gone

It's not fair to lead me on

Cause I would give the whole world for you

Anything you ask of me I'd do

But I won't ask you to stay

I'd rather walk away

If your heart's not in it

crazy frenzy

early in the morning at 9am.
the auditors came streaming into the pharmacy.
well. i thought it was the most 5 ppl.. in the end there came more than 15.
haha so scary!
hid in the toilet the prevent any qns asked and not knowing how to answer.

i'm tired.
slept at 1245 last night.
talk with zhiwei was good.
and hopefully it was anywhere helpful.
sigh. hope things get better sooN!.

going back to work.
pray that it'll be a good day today.
=)

love,
gracey

I need Slppp

i'm tired!
thank god that work wasnt too bad today.
not like the usual mondays.
but the stress of having auditors walking in any min made the whole place really tensed.
i'm hoping this'll be over soon.
but at the same time, maybe not.
cuz now it's the only time i do not need to do anything but the usual work routine.
stock expiry updates (peeking into every single bin everyday and counting),
stock cycle count.. that happens on weekend ONLY
one after another following shortly after this week of audit.
sigh. i wish im over this soon.
but responsibility sometimes makes it hard for one to dump everything aside.

alrights. enough abt my job.
met mum and dad for dinner =)
shopped for pair of random slippers withmum
then fixed dad and bro's watches at the shop
then, we stepped into the hair salon not knowing wad hair to cut.
i trimmed my fringe. looking kuku now. haha. as usual.
the walk home with mama felt so peaceful. havent done this for so long.

i'd been thinking about guys liking girls and vice versa.
it's usually not too complicated.
but human beings seem to enjoy making own lives difficult and un-simple.
to be really happy when in it, then really sad when out of it.
what for? sometimes i really wonder. haha.

it sucks to know things that cant be told.
and it sucks to feel things that cant be told as well.
if it sucks, it'd be better left unknown and untouched.
so that overtime, things will fade away! haha.
i hope and i pray.
for myself, and for the ppl close to me. that're still stuck in the midst of nowhere.

tired!
it's raining cats and dogs now.
my beloved doggy is running all over the place.
=) so cute.
hope to go esplanade again. sitting there being emo felt great last night.
haha.
i'm random.

meeting zhiwei later.
chill out session.
lemme go get ready the life saving tools in such rain.
-umbrella, a dry shirt, and maybe a small towel-

okie. time to go.
i don't like my new fringe.
it's always that case
but i think i'll grow to like it somehow when it gets longer.

love,
gracey

sunday disaster

woah. i'm freaking tired right now.
working on sundays is seriously tiring.
and it doesnt help to work with new ppl who doesnt know much.
yup. so it was a terrible disaster working in emergency pharmacy yest.
yawn. i was energetic in the morning, but all went down the drain after the time passed 2.30pm. =(

haha.
met wg.
ate mac for lunch
played pool
watched money not enough 2 that i cried like shit.
dinner at esplanade.
then we sat there for like 2 hours plus doing nothing.
haha. or was it 3 hours plus.
i dont exactly rem.
i only know i reached home at about 2am in thr morning.

=) not bad. it was quite fun.
but i couldnt help but to be emo-ing a little here and there.
cuz it was all too peaceful at esplanade.
sitting there made me think again.
haha. stupid girl.

slept at 3 plus.
now im back to work.
damn tired!!!
audit this week.
whole world's getting damn uptight about it.
i cant help but to feel a little scared too
cant wait for this week to b over. =)

alrights. going back to work.
hopefully today'll be a good one and lift up my spirits.
i shall be a good girl and smile. =)

cya

AlohA

hello to all.


it's weekend again.
but today passed really fast. =(
went clubbing with soo li they all last night.
well. not exactly very enjoyable since i wasnt feeling too well last night.
haha. wadever. but i must say they're fun ppl around. =)


so yup. woke up late today.
supposed to be pitching a tent at ecp with peck today.
i'll slp and be in solitude while she studies.
but too bad, the weather din allow that to happen.
instead, we headed to amk.
ate some super milky green curry noodles and tomyam soup.
haha. lemongrass still rocks actually.


and yeah. i signed up for a new plan.
and got my new phone.
my heart bled when i paid the cash.
not that it's not bleeding alr.
this month is a bloody month.
haha. i need money! or should i say, i need to know how to save money.
at least, the phone is something that made me a little happier.


went back home. and watched '50 1st dates'
like wow. it's so sweeeeet.
ridiculous but sweet. haha.
imagine waking up to realise it's a brand new day everyday.
i wish i have short term memory too.
somehow or rather.


met my beloved qss gang.
sis, azuan, my evil twin kong, maghor and juv.
happy bdae juve! sorry that we din get u a present in time.
but i know shes contented just having dinner with us. =)
thats why we still love her.
even though she really doesnt reply much smses most of the time.
shes forgiven everytime we finally meet up with her.
haha.


and whatsup.
the whole world is complaining and whining about their jobs.
and so am i.
finally ended all sorts of bloody cleaning for the pharmacy.
had been really grumpy.
cuz grace chan had been acting like the nicest person at work and after work.
cuz shes nice, she's bullied and being stepped all over.
sometimes, it's good to watch your limits.
cuz im seriously not very happy with wads going on now.


im hoping i don't go back to my older days.
that just passed barely for a few weeks.
these negative feelings should just go away for GOOD.
vicious cycle that nv stops haunting me.


wad else? working again tomor on a sunday.
consecutive weekends. bloody hell.
suck it up and go to work.
my motto every morning when i open my eyes.
how interesting.
oh one more, 'it's gonna be a better day being a nice person'
yeah right. hahaha. when did it ever get better this way?


peck has been good.
im sorry to bother her in the midst of her revision for exams.
listening to my whining and complaints abt life is perhaps not the best thing to do during free time.
but i appreciate that.
called her at 3am last midnight after getting back and had soyabean milk tog outside 7eleven. which nicer person'd appear at 3am? guess only her ba.


and out of nowhere my phonecalls got diverted to wallace's phone!
hahaha. im sorry to have made him worried.
im gay. technology dummy too.


gosh leh. emo0ing my life away again hahaha.
working at 1030 tomor.
meeting wg for his bdae
i hope tomor will be a better day.

goodnight. sweet dreams!


love.

whatsup?

yeah yeah yeah
i'm back here again.
havent had the chance to come online from home anyway. =)




watched 'bad habits' at cathay on sat.
till now im still trying to figure out wads the moral of parts of the story.
haha. but well. it wasnt too bad a show. just that i think it has a damn deep meaning.
i seriously do not like to think too much while watching a show.




met zhiwei and peck. went to this pub restaurant that was quite nice.
at siglap.
trust me. we walked hell alot.
cuz i was trying to explore the roads and wads there.
probably walked from halfway thru katong all the way till siglap center.
and i seriously cant take beer.
im probably the only idiot that gets drunk on beer damn easily.
terrible night.
thoughts that were running thru.. well. nothing positive i guess.
so yup. no point talking too much into it. =) just know it sucked.




woke up early on sunday.
mood din get any better.
thats why i always hated sundays when i woke up being drunk the night before.
watched dvd the wholeeeeeee day.
romance in vineyard. korean show.
damn cute. and sweet.
sometimes such shows make ppl still have hope in r/s huh.
haha. fairytales la.




im home early today.
=) went grandma's hse for dinner.
and showered my doggy.
now im doing nothing much at nine plus.

don't want to think too much.

so yup. i'd rather spoil my eyes and watch more shows.

as time goes by, such feelings will fade.
and things will just get better. right? =)




alrights. i'm going to watch my youtube shows.
damn broke.
still thought of getting a labtop soon.
but i wonder if i even have the money.
oh well. we shall seeeeee.




very free this week.
no dinners other than thursday.
thats good. =)
i'll be really busy cleaning bins at pharmacy for my 'friends' this week.
medicines like panadol are called my 'friends' according to gerald.
lame idiot.
haha.




rights. gdnight. will try to blog more often.



love.

Randomness

hello.

=) just reached home not long ago.


well. i've a little story to tell.
had a 6mths old maltest and jack russell mix over at home for the past few days
mum wanted another dog.
so i had a lobang. and fetched it home with her agreement.
then wad happened?
she retardedly wanted me to return the dog to its previous owner.
why? just because it's too active and attention seeking.
but i thought it's not a good enough reason. cuz all puppies are attention seeking


but. since mum'll be one taking care of the dog.
i've had no choice but to return the dog.
guess wad.
owner din want the dog back.
and now he landed up in some stranger's place,
who's the owner's friend.
to stay for a few days...
before he travels to another new home again.
sigh. i'm very upset whenever i think of this.
just find that my family has became one that has deserted an animal.
hate that thought im having. though i do agree that he'll have a better home than staying at my place.


yup. other than that.
i'm totally fine. not well though.
tummy's still hurting!!!! =( and right now it's hurting like crap.
had steamboat dinner with family. =) happy.
but yeah. had been feeling feverish and coughing for the past few days.
life kinda suck when u're not well.
i pray that all'll be well after i see doc tomor.
im lying if i say im not worried bt wads going on in tt tummy of mine.
sigh.
it better be just muscle spasm.


rights. going to shower. =)

cya

lala

=)
just woke up
showered and refreshed. =)

will be meeting my second bro and sis-in-law in half an hrs time
gonna try out some dresses at this shop for his wedding din in oct.
how lame, early in the afternoon.
oh well. it's kinda fun for me so im fine.
but my parents are whining cuz they aren't able to slp more.

other than that
i'm free today again.
haha. wadsup with this weekend?
so weird.
but im quite sad that i'm not able to join soo li they all for dim sum. =(
but it's okie. there'll be a next time right? =)

well. janice flew back to aussie today.
will not be seeing her in another few mths.
sigh! but yes, all the best yeah? =)
will miss her.

clar is going into hostel today.
hope all goes well for her in this new sch term. =)

alrights. im going off
to do my random stuff.
my tummy's still hurting a little here and there.
which disturbs me, and worries my mum.
oh well. thank god. i'll be seeing dr this coming thurs.
hope all is well.

i'll take good care of myself. =) cya!

i love weekend

yeap.

i'm back at home. at like.. 7pm? hee.

this is probably the earliest i've ever been home on a saturday.
met my beloved ppl for lunch
sis, kong, azuan and michael my Po.
Desserts at the Big 'O' cafe was nice. =)
i loved the 'dark side'!
definitely a great bimbo time with kong.
hahas.

sis left for cleaning hostel after that.
i'm sorry that i din go along.
=) i know u wont mind.

gosh. azuan, kong and i went to watch our first R21 movie.
Book of Revelations.
gosh. gross. hahaha.
when the show abruptly ended, azuan went 'what the hell?' with his usual HIGH pitch
and i went laughing away having thought it was a blackout.
kong dashed out saying 'alrights finally, i need to pee'
so. just try to imagine.

i bought veg and sardine.
going to cook dinner for myself later.
=) it's been long since i last did that.

bought 2 sets of dvds yesterday
korean shows.
decided to chiong my life away at home.
hahas.

going to finish up my taiwanese episodes
fated to love you online 1st.
=)

love!
gracey