these memories

suddenly, the salient present hits me right in the face.

the through the night phone calls,
the crazy mac-mugger nights,
park nights,
stealthy KFC fiascos,
the impromptu nonsensical parties we'd throw,
hen parties,
the long walk home under the sordid sun,
the finding out of the chinese girl trio,
the mini mahjong sessions,
working at the spas,
sambal kangkong,
the lets skip school just to go catch a movie,
the amazingly successful twin stunt,
popcorn throwing,
sentosa suntanning,
sentosa not suntanning,
the tediously long meetings,
the "lets catch a bus to wherever",
'potato!' resounding amidst the air,

are now but things of the past.

And this feeling of being so distant of what used to be so routine makes my hair stand.
For everything feels like it were yesterday, yet you know so clearly it aint,
for nothing's quite the same now. Nothing is.

For both of you..

Dear both of you,

Sorry I gave you such a bad scare and for the sudden outburst.
I'm alright now.
Just wanted to say thank you for rescuing me, for the stupid 'better lock your car door' joke, for the 'just scare them off and take their seat' comment, and most of all, for simply trying to make out my words in between those horrid sobs.
Thank you.

ps: I will find the scanner by hook or by crook tonight ;)

love,
li

what i need to do.

What i need to do is to STOP
1) acting up during presentations and making stupid comments,
2) watching grey's anatomy
3)blogging
4)proscatinating

yup. thats what i need to do.

perspectives - Subjective evaluation of relative significance; a point of view
Per-spec-tive.

Its how theres always two sides to a coin.
a positive way of looking at a situation, and of course a negative way of looking at it.
Not forgetting how the very same event can evoke such feelings of joy, yet to another, bring about waves of sadness.

per-spec-tive

Its how you always assume something.
How those coloured lenses you wear becomes the obstacle.
That emotions you feel which never fails to blind.

per-spec-tive.

Its funny how this simple notion can make or break.

my to-do list.

1. GEM1008 - Critique.
2. GEM 1008 - Position Paper Proposal
3. Clinical Neuropsych Presentation
4. Counselling Essay
5. Psych Assessment Presentation
6. Psychometrics Assignment 2
7. Counseling Presentation
8. Psychometrics Assignment 3
9. Clinical Neuropsych Topic Review.
10. GEM1008 - Position Paper

Hell week's a serious understatement.

here goes.

I have decided to apply for grad school.
The applications are torturous, time-demanding and costly.
Looks like i'm heading down under cos the parents are not for the states.
"too dangerous", "too far", "too costly".

Its funny how for a long time, one thinks graduation day will never come. It has only recently hit me that it will be but a few more months before you don that blue gown you've always been waiting to wear, walk up that stage, shake the hands of people you've never met or spoken to in your whole life, firmly yet gently hold on to that precious piece of paper which you've been dreaming of your whole life, working towards since the day first words are spoken. that precious piece of paper. Its a mirage of feelings this stage i'm at. To an extent where words cannot express this confusion in me.

It will be at least two years straight if i get accepted. Four years if i go with the parents wishes to do a phd right after. Wont be coming back anytime inbetween (or at least i think) not because i dont want to but because the curriculum doesnt allow it.

I;m scared.excited.apprehensive.looking forward.worried.eager.nervous.overjoyed. all.at.once.

days like these

Its days like these, where a wonderful end makes everything before better.

hate school. hate exams.

The family is planning a ONE MONTH trip to various parts of Japan.

I, unfortunately, am unable to go because of school and exams. wtf.
and it doesnt help that the well-intentioned consolations fucking rub salt into the already damn sore wound. and the whole world seems to be going to japan. even my chinese doctor. urgh!

this girl is upset, jealous and hates schools and exams.