Friday, May 27, 2011
This is a tribute to the husband I've lost.
The beginning of 2009 brought on more challenges and hardships then I ever thought any one person could or should have to take. Then he came into my life. He was the light that I thought was gone from my life forever. He changed my world.
He is a very thoughtful person. When we were dating I told him all about how much I love holidays and how my birthday has never been a big deal in my family, and he promised me he would make my birthdays special, and he did! The two easters we shared, he had easter egg hunts for me, and easter baskets, our valentines days were full of romantic thoughtfulness, like flowers and candy and tons of hearts he had cut out by hand. Birthdays and Christmas's were full of fun thoughtful gifts. For my 25th birthday he even had a little surprise party for me with his siblings, they put balloons all over their living room and jumped out and yelled surprise.
We shared lots of goofy nick-names and additions to the ends of words. We had some great times together!! There are things in my life that will never be the same because of him. I will never be able to look at or eat an avacado again, with out thinking of him, nor will I ever be able to put on my motorcycle gear that he gave me, without remember my fond memories of motorcylce adventures, and him teaching me how to ride. We also had some very hard times together. Marriage was nothing like what we thought it was going to be like, and we definitely had challenges. Somehow, though we loved each other very much, and will always have a place in our hearts for each other, we just couldn't seem to make it work. Yesterday was the day that I had to make the hardest decision of my life, after months of agonizing over what to do, and today I had to follow through with that decision. Its been SO hard and very emotional, but I know that we will make it through this, and hopefully be better people because of it.
The hardest lesson for me, out of this whole mess, has been that no matter how hard we try and no matter how much we want to, we can not take away any one elses free agency, because it is a very personal gift each of us has been given. There were times I knew I could have made it better if he would have just listened to me. And I know that he feels the same way, except the other way around.
It is absolutely devestating to think about the future, more than just an hour or two ahead, because it feels so hopeless, and even thinking just an hour or two ahead is sometimes more then I can handle. I am so grateful to my family for the support and love and kindness they have given me to help me get through this.
I have to end this because the pain is so intense, but I hope that I can always remember the good parts of my marriage and the good qualities that he possessed, and the good times we had together. They will not fade quickly, maybe not ever, but I needed to write something to help me remember and especially to remember that we loved each other!
The beginning of 2009 brought on more challenges and hardships then I ever thought any one person could or should have to take. Then he came into my life. He was the light that I thought was gone from my life forever. He changed my world.
He is a very thoughtful person. When we were dating I told him all about how much I love holidays and how my birthday has never been a big deal in my family, and he promised me he would make my birthdays special, and he did! The two easters we shared, he had easter egg hunts for me, and easter baskets, our valentines days were full of romantic thoughtfulness, like flowers and candy and tons of hearts he had cut out by hand. Birthdays and Christmas's were full of fun thoughtful gifts. For my 25th birthday he even had a little surprise party for me with his siblings, they put balloons all over their living room and jumped out and yelled surprise.
We shared lots of goofy nick-names and additions to the ends of words. We had some great times together!! There are things in my life that will never be the same because of him. I will never be able to look at or eat an avacado again, with out thinking of him, nor will I ever be able to put on my motorcycle gear that he gave me, without remember my fond memories of motorcylce adventures, and him teaching me how to ride. We also had some very hard times together. Marriage was nothing like what we thought it was going to be like, and we definitely had challenges. Somehow, though we loved each other very much, and will always have a place in our hearts for each other, we just couldn't seem to make it work. Yesterday was the day that I had to make the hardest decision of my life, after months of agonizing over what to do, and today I had to follow through with that decision. Its been SO hard and very emotional, but I know that we will make it through this, and hopefully be better people because of it.
The hardest lesson for me, out of this whole mess, has been that no matter how hard we try and no matter how much we want to, we can not take away any one elses free agency, because it is a very personal gift each of us has been given. There were times I knew I could have made it better if he would have just listened to me. And I know that he feels the same way, except the other way around.
It is absolutely devestating to think about the future, more than just an hour or two ahead, because it feels so hopeless, and even thinking just an hour or two ahead is sometimes more then I can handle. I am so grateful to my family for the support and love and kindness they have given me to help me get through this.
I have to end this because the pain is so intense, but I hope that I can always remember the good parts of my marriage and the good qualities that he possessed, and the good times we had together. They will not fade quickly, maybe not ever, but I needed to write something to help me remember and especially to remember that we loved each other!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
So, This is not a recipe blog, but, I saw this and it looked amazing, and it IS amazing, so I thought I would share.
Grilled Pizza Chicken Kabobs
Serves 2, 35 minute prep time
3/4 lb uncooked chicken breast tenders (not breaded)
1/2 medium red bell pepper, cut into 1-inch pieces (1/2 cup)
1/2 package (8-oz size) fresh whole mushrooms
2 tablespoons reduced-fat Italian dressing
1 teaspoon pizza seasoning
2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
1/4 cup pizza sauce (from 14-oz jar)
1 Heat gas or charcoal grill. On each of two 11-inch metal skewers, thread chicken, bell pepper and mushrooms alternately, leaving 1/2-inch space between each piece. Brush kabobs with dressing; sprinkle with pizza seasoning.
2 Cover and grill kabobs over medium heat 9 to 11 minutes, turning once, until chicken is no longer pink in center. Sprinkle immediately with cheese.
3 Meanwhile, in 1-quart saucepan, heat pizza sauce over low heat. Serve kabobs with warm sauce.
Grilled Pizza Chicken Kabobs
Serves 2, 35 minute prep time
3/4 lb uncooked chicken breast tenders (not breaded)
1/2 medium red bell pepper, cut into 1-inch pieces (1/2 cup)
1/2 package (8-oz size) fresh whole mushrooms
2 tablespoons reduced-fat Italian dressing
1 teaspoon pizza seasoning
2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
1/4 cup pizza sauce (from 14-oz jar)
1 Heat gas or charcoal grill. On each of two 11-inch metal skewers, thread chicken, bell pepper and mushrooms alternately, leaving 1/2-inch space between each piece. Brush kabobs with dressing; sprinkle with pizza seasoning.
2 Cover and grill kabobs over medium heat 9 to 11 minutes, turning once, until chicken is no longer pink in center. Sprinkle immediately with cheese.
3 Meanwhile, in 1-quart saucepan, heat pizza sauce over low heat. Serve kabobs with warm sauce.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Ok, so I am obviously catching up, so I will put brief summaries of what has been going on in my life since November! ha ha!
So we were living with that sweet old lady taking care of her, and we decided, even though DAn wasn't done with school yet, it was time for us to move back to Utah. Things were just too hard. Jobs are scarce, and pay crappy, and we couldnt keep up with bills, so we moved down, and both found good paying jobs, immediately, while we lived with my parents for a couple months.
The renters moved out of my parents basement rental apartment, of the house I grew up in, so me and Dan moved in there end of January, and to welcome us in, I threw my self a little birthday party with a few friends. It was so wonderful to be back in that house. We had to do a little work on the basement, mostly deep cleaning.
A few weeks later the upstairs renters moved out and we started immediately remodelling the entire thing. We've been pulling down wall paper, patching walls, painting, cleaning carpets, tiling, filling cracks and holes in the wood floors, refinishing the floors, installing washer/dryer hook ups, plugs, replacing plugs, and I could go on forever. As we get a room done, we've slowly been moving our stuff up stairs and finally found renters for the basement. They move in the end of April, and so that leaves us with a week and a half to get finished with the rest of the upstairs. I cannot wait to be done! I'm so sick of remodeling.
In the meantime, February 15th, my 4th niece was born! Claire Grace Miller. She is the tiniest sweetest most even tempered baby that has ever been born (or that has ever come from that particular Miller family). I just love her. I never want her to get big she is so tiny and sweet. and when she is sleeping and you say her name real sweetly, she smiles a little. Its so adorable.
My niece Hallie turned 4 years old and we had a fun chuckee cheese party, and then came to my house afterward to eat ice cream cake that my mom made. It was awesome to be able to host a family party at my house. I felt all grown up.
A few weeks ago we had my 3 nieces over for a sleep over and it was so fun and hectic, especially since we did it on a week night and I had to work the next morning at 10:00. Luckily they were all up at the "crock of dawn" so we were all ready to go by the time I needed to leave.
My little kitty felix, the newest addition to the family, that I posted about back in November, is the jewel of my eye. He loves me and I love him, he is definitely my favorite of the two. He follows me all around the house, and murrs and purrs at me all the time.
Speaking of cats that brings me to Findus, my naughty, bity cat. A couple months ago he got in a fight with my brothers cat, who was visiting from Idaho, and I was trying to get them apart and he bit me so hard it went all the way to the bone, and damaged a nerve in my hand, and made my thumb and part of my wrist go numb. I went to a hand specialist and he put me on antibiodics to make sure I killed all the infection. He then discussed the possibility of surgery with me. I was so mad! Surgery on a cat bite!! Turns out I didnt have to have surgery, but I do have some nasty scares on my wrist. looking back its kind of funny. But at the time it wasn't. The antibidoic that they put me on just about killed me. It made me so nauseated that I threw up several times a day, one time so violently that it popped the blood vessels in my face and I had a red face for days, and gross looking eyes. I tried some anti-nausea pills, the Dr prescribed be, but they made me so tired I could hardly function, and I even got a little loopy and giggly at times. But thank goodness that is over and I am well and done with all of that.
In February I went to Arizona for a few days, cause my best friend got home from her mission, hence the post a couple before this one. I also saw a great friend of mine from my mission, Stephanie, and met her cute husband and adorable baby! IT was so fun to get away and to see old friends, and be in the warmth, since Utah has decided to have an ice age.
I've decide that I'm crafty! HA HA!! For Christmas last year we made this for Dan's Grandma. We went to Zim's before it closed and found this guy and painted him all up. I was so proud of the creativity. He was actually a guy in a tux with a cigar in his hand, he is a smoker doll that you put incense in and the smoke comes out his mouth, so we put his cigar in a little eye liner pencil sharpener, and painted it like a pencil, the we got some paper and made it into a naughty/nice scroll list, and glued it to santas other hand, with each of the grandkids names on it, bought a santa christmas tree topper and took off his clothes and put them on this guy. I was so proud of how cute he turned out.
I also made a whole bunch of flower headbands and hair clips like all the girls are wearing these days. I cant find the pics I took of them, but they are beautiful! I was really proud. So, when I get finished with the house and all moved in, I'm planning to resume that project, and made sell some on Etsy or something. I dont know, find a boutique. I dont really know how that all works, but I am excited about the idea!
Anyhow, I think thats about it, besides I'm looking for a new job, my last one sucked, besides a few of the awesome friends I made there. So I am on the hunt for a new awesome job, that I can hopefully make my career. I'm ready for that! Let me know if you hear of any jobs I would do good at!
So we were living with that sweet old lady taking care of her, and we decided, even though DAn wasn't done with school yet, it was time for us to move back to Utah. Things were just too hard. Jobs are scarce, and pay crappy, and we couldnt keep up with bills, so we moved down, and both found good paying jobs, immediately, while we lived with my parents for a couple months.
The renters moved out of my parents basement rental apartment, of the house I grew up in, so me and Dan moved in there end of January, and to welcome us in, I threw my self a little birthday party with a few friends. It was so wonderful to be back in that house. We had to do a little work on the basement, mostly deep cleaning.
A few weeks later the upstairs renters moved out and we started immediately remodelling the entire thing. We've been pulling down wall paper, patching walls, painting, cleaning carpets, tiling, filling cracks and holes in the wood floors, refinishing the floors, installing washer/dryer hook ups, plugs, replacing plugs, and I could go on forever. As we get a room done, we've slowly been moving our stuff up stairs and finally found renters for the basement. They move in the end of April, and so that leaves us with a week and a half to get finished with the rest of the upstairs. I cannot wait to be done! I'm so sick of remodeling.
In the meantime, February 15th, my 4th niece was born! Claire Grace Miller. She is the tiniest sweetest most even tempered baby that has ever been born (or that has ever come from that particular Miller family). I just love her. I never want her to get big she is so tiny and sweet. and when she is sleeping and you say her name real sweetly, she smiles a little. Its so adorable.
My niece Hallie turned 4 years old and we had a fun chuckee cheese party, and then came to my house afterward to eat ice cream cake that my mom made. It was awesome to be able to host a family party at my house. I felt all grown up.
A few weeks ago we had my 3 nieces over for a sleep over and it was so fun and hectic, especially since we did it on a week night and I had to work the next morning at 10:00. Luckily they were all up at the "crock of dawn" so we were all ready to go by the time I needed to leave.
My little kitty felix, the newest addition to the family, that I posted about back in November, is the jewel of my eye. He loves me and I love him, he is definitely my favorite of the two. He follows me all around the house, and murrs and purrs at me all the time.
Speaking of cats that brings me to Findus, my naughty, bity cat. A couple months ago he got in a fight with my brothers cat, who was visiting from Idaho, and I was trying to get them apart and he bit me so hard it went all the way to the bone, and damaged a nerve in my hand, and made my thumb and part of my wrist go numb. I went to a hand specialist and he put me on antibiodics to make sure I killed all the infection. He then discussed the possibility of surgery with me. I was so mad! Surgery on a cat bite!! Turns out I didnt have to have surgery, but I do have some nasty scares on my wrist. looking back its kind of funny. But at the time it wasn't. The antibidoic that they put me on just about killed me. It made me so nauseated that I threw up several times a day, one time so violently that it popped the blood vessels in my face and I had a red face for days, and gross looking eyes. I tried some anti-nausea pills, the Dr prescribed be, but they made me so tired I could hardly function, and I even got a little loopy and giggly at times. But thank goodness that is over and I am well and done with all of that.
In February I went to Arizona for a few days, cause my best friend got home from her mission, hence the post a couple before this one. I also saw a great friend of mine from my mission, Stephanie, and met her cute husband and adorable baby! IT was so fun to get away and to see old friends, and be in the warmth, since Utah has decided to have an ice age.
I've decide that I'm crafty! HA HA!! For Christmas last year we made this for Dan's Grandma. We went to Zim's before it closed and found this guy and painted him all up. I was so proud of the creativity. He was actually a guy in a tux with a cigar in his hand, he is a smoker doll that you put incense in and the smoke comes out his mouth, so we put his cigar in a little eye liner pencil sharpener, and painted it like a pencil, the we got some paper and made it into a naughty/nice scroll list, and glued it to santas other hand, with each of the grandkids names on it, bought a santa christmas tree topper and took off his clothes and put them on this guy. I was so proud of how cute he turned out.
I also made a whole bunch of flower headbands and hair clips like all the girls are wearing these days. I cant find the pics I took of them, but they are beautiful! I was really proud. So, when I get finished with the house and all moved in, I'm planning to resume that project, and made sell some on Etsy or something. I dont know, find a boutique. I dont really know how that all works, but I am excited about the idea!
Anyhow, I think thats about it, besides I'm looking for a new job, my last one sucked, besides a few of the awesome friends I made there. So I am on the hunt for a new awesome job, that I can hopefully make my career. I'm ready for that! Let me know if you hear of any jobs I would do good at!
I have found a new passion for scrapbooking. I have always loved it, and if I had unlimited time to work on my scrapbook, I would just set up camp in a room and spend lots and lots and lots of time in there scraping my little heart out. Unfortunately that is not realistic or possible, so I have resorted to digital scrapbooking. Its much faster. I found this picture of a good friend of mine and her husband from their wedding, and I absolutely adore it, so I wanted to see what I could make of it. I never really finished it, I would have added their names at least. But anyway, Here it is! Its just a picture of the computer screen with my phone.
I have a whole digital scrapbook of when Dan and I first started dating all the way through our honey moon, as well that I hope to get printed at some point. Here are a few samples from that, keep in mind they are a little blurry from taking pictures with my phone:
Anyway, my whole point is, if there was some way that I could make up a career for myself, making scrapbooks for people, I would soooo gladly sit at home and make scrap books, digitally, or on paper! I would be happy as a clam!
I have a whole digital scrapbook of when Dan and I first started dating all the way through our honey moon, as well that I hope to get printed at some point. Here are a few samples from that, keep in mind they are a little blurry from taking pictures with my phone:
Anyway, my whole point is, if there was some way that I could make up a career for myself, making scrapbooks for people, I would soooo gladly sit at home and make scrap books, digitally, or on paper! I would be happy as a clam!
I just found this online, and wish that I had some reason to need it, cause I think its the cutest thing ever!
Look at it! you'll wish you could have it too!!
here
Look at it! you'll wish you could have it too!!
here
Monday, November 8, 2010
I wish that I had a good reason for not posting something in so many months. I started out with a good excuse, and the excuses have just turned to lazyness.
I figure in order to get caught up I will just have to do several posts. To start off, we added a new member to our little family. his name is Felix. On my last day of work as a probation tracker, he was at the house we were doing community service at, and was going to be killed if I didn't take him, so naturally, I did! =) Him and Findus get along alright.
I figure in order to get caught up I will just have to do several posts. To start off, we added a new member to our little family. his name is Felix. On my last day of work as a probation tracker, he was at the house we were doing community service at, and was going to be killed if I didn't take him, so naturally, I did! =) Him and Findus get along alright.
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