In just a mere month his body had started to cave in. His countenance was scarred; skin like a stretch of thin dough, latching on tight on his jaw without much of the usual rotundness that he used to have. His body, nothing more than just saggy skin against his skeletal frame, just pains anyone. Anyone who'd remember how he used to look like.

He used to be a real charm from what I could draw out from my fragmented impressions, of anyone who knew him- young & old alike. And he would just be the perfect remedy to soothe the tears of any awkward situation. Typically, he used to stay up late nights watching miniature players prancing about the green land, through pixelations our television could best provide. He also had a favourite team like any other; he'd hang their glory on his lips for hours, emblazoned on his heart when the song "Glory, glory Man United" encapsulates all the simple patriotism he has in him. Most distinctively, I reminisce of his healthy looking paunch most fondly still- derived from his past late night beer habits that he never seem to be able to kick. All these were a thing of the past now..

Now I know that Your plans are arbitrary, autonomous that You will unveil in time to come. Say if the outcome is undesirable yet contains a greater prospect that is yet to be conceived, would I yield to it? Or would you even let me yield to it? Say if I were to lose the pillar of my life, would You liberate me from losing nothing when I had nothing to even boast of? Or, would You abandon me like how I felt before, sixteen years ago? Am I now in pain, or am I in suffering? Am I a liability now to your cause? Am I wrong now to trust when I should have absorbed it myself? Or am I wrong to keep things under wraps that I forgot how to breathe under all these layers of pretense? If I had something to start with, is it even rightfully mine if one's sense of possession is only transient to which only the law of impermanence run in this whole course all along? I must admit, I am stupid & insensitive, yet over-analytical & self absorbed, but shouldn't I run my own life at least so it won't fall off the tracks? When I reached the brink, I'll let it all go..