it's really strange for me to say this after my angsty post,
BUT.

when i said fuck you,
i couldn help but start singing cee lo green's fuck you.

this is almost hilarious...

so, i cant believe i had this conversation with sam like 2 hours ago.
and now,
you acting like a fucking bastard.

you know what.
fuck you.

i shouldn give a damn,
and i wont.
don't expect me to be there for you.

will not happen.

so.
have not blogged for a long time.
and it's really because ive been busy.
havent had the time to think about other stuff.

but i was just sitting in the spa today and had a long thought about things that have been happening.
they happen for a reason, dont they?
just that this situation is like deja vu.
and im all too clear about how it will end.

but see,
im not doing anything to change it.
and is that my fault?

my conclusion:

my current life is going at two times it's normal pace,
not by choice.
but everything else that happens has to catch up,
or just fall behind and become forgotten.