you know,
i always just thought..
ahhh.
it's honours.
it's away from uni.
it's away from studying.

but this,
this is really scary x(
when you start to read up on your project,
when you start receiving orientation mails.

this is freaking me out.
and i haven even started.

every year i come back around this time of the year.
the trips get shorter,
but really.

i cant actually describe what i feel.
it's as though i've established myself,
and im starting to find that it's so hard,
it's getting so hard to come back,
even for those few weeks.
but yet at the same time,
i feel obliged to need to fly back.

it's this weird feeling,
i cant comprehend,
much less explain.

maybe it's just this expectation,
of having your own life as you get older.
this, you can take care of yourself overseas,
so you should here too.
and the, i've got my life while you're away,
so you should have to find your life here too.

it's like home,
but not like home anymore.

can someone just tell me what's going on?

should i seriously consider letting go of everything?