but i do,
love you (:

i was just banging on those ivory keys.
when this strange, sudden thought came into my head.

and these two people,
who used to be my world,
my solace,
came floating by.

and suddenly.
i had this sudden realisation.
i had this sudden thought about how they're so similar
and irritatingly similar in this case.

and i was suddenly overwhelmed by this hatred.
and it just didnt go away.
to be honest,
i hated the way i acted,
for being so weak.
and being so forgiving.

and perhaps the one thing ive learnt over all these years,
is perhaps to stand up for what i believe for.
and maybe that's making me a heartless person,
but at least i see this truth.

and realise,
that alot of people,
are just selfish creatures,
that don really give a shit about you.

i like my ivory keys.

because i am really sad
x(

and so.
the office's internet is sho fast.
that my grey's was done in a matter of minutes (:

beams in happiness...
says.
ive been getting so many cuts and bruises,
that i feel very vulnerable everytime i step into the lab.
please just tell me in paranoid.
x(
cries.

anyhoos.
it's my last day of december (:
and then it's holidays!
and meet ups and mahjongs and x'mas!

beams.

says.
i just had lunch.
but strangely i don feel very much satisfied...
HMMM....

recently lab days fly like a bumblebee.
and im not allowing myself to surf online too much.
because ive been shopping wayyyy too much...
vic secrets this morning....

what a pity the exchange rate wasnt like before.
if it were as before, i would have bought heaps more than i have....

but anyhooos....
that's that.

says.
clara was looking at suites down at the maldives.
and really wants to go there.
wiggles.

(:

just that they cost a bomb and she really doesnt have the money to do so....
sugar daddy?
anyone?

i really should stream more movies and watch later.

im lactose intolerant.
blabbers.

and i really should bring all my stuff home today just in case someone occupies my seat over the 2 weeks...
HMMM...

okok.
im bored.
i need a nap...
toodles.

wiggles...
says it's late and i think im going to be heading back late today x(

blabbers....
anyhoos.
says clara is back in the office and struggled to wake up this morning.
but thank god tomorrow' her last day.
she can finally get some rest.

we've been restaurant hopping the past few days.

and ive noticed a really odd thing that happens in the next lab.
everyone puts on ear phones all the time.
and by that i mean all the time.

at their desk,in the pantry, in the lift, in the lab.
everywhere.

but anyhoos.
she's meeting the gurls tonight (:
happiness.

ahhh.
now she remembers how come she had this page open for the whole day.

the cousins and us went to the zoo!
but cause it was rainy,
the shows were cancelled.
but anyhoos.
it was much much fun.

and then we went to kranji reservoir.
the original plan, when the weather turned abit better.
says that this is perhaps the first time,
ive seen such a swamp around.
it was practically like a mangrove area....

but...
we picked clams and mussels.
and i cut my hand x(

says this is the first itme ive see horseshoe crabs.
and green, red flat millipedes.
how very exciting.

the kids had fun too.
and tricia wanted to go back soon.
with her own spade (:

hahahahaha!
how cute...

it really was an experience.
but for now,
more shopping!
huge sale on victoria's secrets!

do you hear me,
talking to you?

(:

says.
today she was at a make your bear from scratch shop.
hahaha.
how very cute.
and at the white dog's for shirleen's birthday.

it's been such a longgggg dayyyy.

but anyhoos...
the gurl's happy (:
she's the kid who gets to pick out all her favourite candies (:

smiles.

i feel like a little kid in a lollipop store (:

says.
today is such an eventful dayy....
says the week is FINALLY over.
honestly,
i have NEVER felt like the week was never going to be over.
it's seriously worse than swot vac.....

says the gurls and the boy went shopping today!
at orchard road.
for the first time in a million years.
and went to hilfiger to try stuffs.
and the boy got addicted to buying hilfiger stuffs as well (:
beammmmmms.
he even bought a winter trench from there....
cant wait for all of them to arrive (: (:

omg.
orchard road.
is crowded.
hot.
and clamy.
basically.
it was gross.

and parking was ridiculously expensive.

and so.
she bought more stuffs.
but hush, puppy (:

and then we went to kim's for dinner with the family and cousins.
(:
so cosy.
although we were on a really really long table.

and then met up with mok, sim, sara and a few others.
others whom i have not seen since sec 4....
namely ketsu, lincoln, felix.
and david.
oh i miss them boys. (:

and so.
we spent the night playing some game.
HAHAHA.
clara does not know what it's called.
it appears to start with c.
or perhaps i want it to start with c.

and then received a call from naz.
a very shocking call.
that sort of brought light to some stuffs...
HAHAHA.
very very shocking indeed.
omg....
all these things in my life.
if i wrote a drama about my life.
i think it'd sell.
very very well....

HAHAHAHA.

anyhoos,
i just wanted to say,
it's a feeling.
a very nice one (:
just thought i should say that (:

it feels very.....
odd.
really.

but anyhoos.

it'll pass (:

hilfiger and victoria secrets are on huge sale.
therefore,
clara is b-loke.

x(

but very happies (:

says. she went for her first seminar today.
and basically.
was just really confused.
mostly not understanding most of what was said.
something about b cells and lymph nodes.

hmm...
seminars are very much like a more difficult version of lectures.
well.
or rather.
presenting things that nobody knows very much about except urself.

but very cool.
very many fluorescence imaging and videos.

and im currently reading p. vivax articles.
and everyone has disappeared once again.
i think i need to know how to identify vivax genotypes.
perhaps we've got one with a similar genotype.
so i quote.

more pcrs in the afternoon i think.
but it's already 2.
so oh wells.
maybe not.

very very very very tired.
i ko-ed last night at like 10.
and i think it might be earlier today.

wiggles.

till then.

i have a very nice supervisor.
who teaches me everything.
and lets me do everything.
even though he knows and i know that the results cant be screwed around with.

and therefore,
im really enjoying what im doing.
(:

and so.
clara has started work.
and is currently at SIgN.

(:

Says.
she's preedy much very updated with news around the world.
and has spent the past few days surfing the net.

and was very tired last night.
after the mum and friends swam until late.
so the gurl sat around.
and collapsed the moment she got home.

and so.
i get deceived by my computer clock because it says 1230pm.
but it's really onli 930.

the mum has been dropping her off really really early.
so she spends the first hour of work just sitting around.
and trying to stay awake.
HMM.

toodles.

come fly
come fly with me
(:

mes ams homes!
(:

says i don really have anything to write about.
but i just feel like posting some random thing.

so.
her exam starts in an hour and a half.
and im tired.
mainly because i slept at 530 and got woken up at 1030.
so im grumpy.

but anyhoos.
the gurls.
and guy.
are going to watch 007!
wiggles.

ok.
tireds.
goodnight.

ooooooooooooooooohs.
says thank you to the miss who came ALL the way down...
to cheer this pink little purple elephant up (:
with jelly!!
aeroplane ones!
(:

thank you gurl...
(: (: (:

and i hope ure not upset no more.
clara will give u a hug when she sees u!
me knows it meant alot so i will slap waney for u when i see him ok?

so anyhoos.
i currently have a new housemate.
hahahaha!
e-va!
and sar-a is staying the night....

wiggles.
and i feel like a queen.
cause e-va made lunch.
and sar-a made dinner.
WIGGLES.
(:

im almost done.
im almost done (:
and i'll be happyyyyy....

but for the time being.
i have to live with more ibs x(

i am preedy happy i answered my answer and wrote 5 pages,
despite not knowing what the word heterogeneity meant.
HAHAHA.
i still dont actually.
everytime i do that question i just memorise everything.
WIGGLES.

and for ibs,
2 down urea cycle and visual,
6 to go....

wiggles.
me hungers again.

and so for everyone who wanted to know how my first hen's night went.
it was insane.
and the guys were hot (:

i don think ive ever said good bye to someone,
and not expect the person to return to my life.

and it's really very difficult.
to say goodbye to someone who has kept ur life in check for the past year.
and to know that they'll be in another continent,
getting on with their lives.
not there to have breakfast and coffee with you tomorrow or the day after anymore.
or not just a phone call away anymore.
to know that after 2 years, it will just be a memory.

im not good at saying goodbye,
i leave it all inside,
until it explodes and tells me that i really miss someone.
so im not leaving crying because it's all inside.
but i know,
i will miss u all very very much.

but thank you gurls,
and mr.
for the past 2 years.
because ive really enjoyed myself so much.
and although i feel like im getting robbed from it.
i still really appreciate all those times we;ve had.

and i still believe,
that one day, some where,
we'll all meet again (:

so, here i wish u all well.
that you will all have a fabulous job and life and everything u can ever wish for (:
and although it's going to be so painful to say goodbye,

i'll still have to say it.
mr and miss-es.
clara will miss you all so. x(

because this song always makes me cry.

will you say that you love me
And show me that you care
Say when I need you
You will always be there
But if you go and leave me
This I swear is true
My love will always be with you

Now my nights would end with just one wish, that's you
To hold me in the dark and help me make it through
'cause the pain that's inside me
Would simply melt away
If I had you here with me
And promise me you'd stay

i have so many random thoughts running through my head now.
and now's not a particularly good time to run through them.
mainly because.
i am exhausted.

i have spent every single ounce of my energy.
over the past couple of days.
and my body cant take it anymore.
i feel it crashing.
yet im not allowing it time to rest.

i should be to blame.
for now,
even a 5 minute nap.
could mean so very much.

i wished people knew me abit better.
or perhaps not.
i dont really know.
for it's a complicated matter.

im not going to say most of what's running through my head now.
for i will regret being so petty.
so i'll just run it through.
and wash it all off with a good shower.

highlights from chess really makes me happy.
i wished i enjoyed doing more things alone.
then i wouldn be dependent.
on non existence.

i really am ranting.
am i not.

perhaps i really am angry and tired.
perhaps i shouldn be.

and now,
i cant just say,
oh well.

because it does,
it actually does hurt.
x(

im not angsty.
neither am i depressed.
i just think that
the world needs more compassion than it has.

and i need to learn to give with compassion too.

let's just leave it as,
everybody has flaws.

clara's taking a break.
and has come home for a shower.

and she received her confirmation in the mail.
and it says.

she starts work at 845 x(
o.m.g.

x( x( x(
she will start having a healthy lifestyle (:
the early bird catches the worm.

says.
she is officially intern-ing at a*star from dec-march (:
and she's happy (:

I HAVE NO IDEA!

x(
says i study so hard for ibs.
but at the end of the day,
it's onli worth 36%.

and half the things ive studied for,
i cant remember anymore x(

blehhh.
i don have any motivation to study.
mainly because it's 70 lectures worth 36%.
and gen is 12 worth 50%
and patho is the onli decent one with 22, 80%

anyhoos.
i realised that e-va, s-ara and sne-ha
are the people who put some balance in my life.
oh dear gurls,
what's going to happen when u all leave x(
no one's going to have our ever so intellectual convos with me anymore x(

help!

so the punting comes to an end.
after melbourne cup (:

with special mention to
Pre Eminence
Forensics
All Silent
Origami Miss

and most of all
Danzylum

(: (:
BEAMS.

now it's back to earth....

the good things come one after the other,

claralyn, says: (10:52:47 PM)
i think it's the hot water
claralyn, says: (10:53:01 PM)
i bathe 3 times a day cause it's very hot
Alvin says: (10:53:06 PM)
OMG


Alvin says: (10:53:08 PM)
u elephant
claralyn, says: (10:54:21 PM)
DAMMIT
claralyn, says: (10:54:30 PM)
at least i am a clean elephant

absolutely made my day,

"cause after everything, at the end of the day,
i'll always know that at least there's one person who'll give me
glow in the dark *"

me has happy day.
me has secret glow in the dark present (:
with a star tip (:
me happy (:

boo!
and the gurl goes,
ping pong.
or maybe,
pong ping (:

hi,
mr cute (:

beams.

men are stupid and selfish,
in general.

and i mean men, not man.

so bang.

anyhoos.
the rugby test series' so exciting (:

go aussies!

and i go,
ping pong!

she walked into sunglass hut.
and now she's,
b-l-oke.

but very happy (:

ralph, by ralph lauren.

the best things in life are free (:

ive been to gor 5 times.
and each time.
i find a warm and fuzzy feeling.
and this time,
it will stay (:

says 7 crazy gurls went on a roadtrip in the middle of the week.
and found themselves singing. dancing. jumping. running. panting.
in the middle of nowhere (:

oh gurls,
what will i do when all of u leave x(

ping.pong.
i will walk 500 miles.

and so.
the gurl was just here.

and we went crazy.
we literally did.

grease 2 was so bad.
now we have our
*peck-boo-d-e-d*
hahahahaha!
which was essentially hilarious.

and the jumping around.
and the screaming.
and the hand jive.

we were high.
and i felt like i was on drugs...
and now she's losing her voice.

and the best part,
we didn even touch a single drop of alcohol.

that's us.
for those who still don know (:

just to brighten ur day that bit more (:

and im glad that i wasnt the gurl who had to walk down the street crying
i pitied her.
but we all had to learn.

and the night.
was.....

well.
explained.
by the photos.

(:

it was one very high night.
absinthe. barcardi 151. tequila. random shot. sambuca.
no very fun when mixed together...

but we remember....

taptap-taptap

so the gurl's been lazy.

now that uni's started again.
it's all a whirl of mess.
x(

but anyhoos.
we went to dfo cheltenham yesterday (:
and clara bought shoes from ninewest.
and nice pjs from peter alexander.

this shopping thing is going to put a huge hole in the pocket when the mother leaves x(
cries.

anyhoos.
clara went for the most insane thing...
indian ball.
yups.

she did.
very very hot women everywhere.
and a very very self conscious us.
but good fun anyhoos.

says.
singapore day can be described in one word.
QUEUE.
1 hour to get in.
and probably another hour to get food.
so the gurl went,
walked one round.
spoke to astar and nus/ntu reps and left.

to southgate to meet the peeps.
(:
on a second attempt,
the steak was yummerlicious.
and very coordinated dress code.
with the boys being bitter that they got rejected from the event.

and so.
clara has to leave now.
for ibs.
SIGH.

she's onli happy that she's done with her report drafts.

and this kindda sums up my week.
lots and lots of stuffs happening.

and clara is exxxxxhausted....

but happy (:

the gurl's got this sexy new baby (:
32 inches of awesome goodness (:

samsung.
sleek.

ok.
so sam did not wake up!
and it's already 9.

so clara's koko black is safe.
wiggles.

the week has gone by so quickly (:
and the gurl is so happy that the holidays are FINALLY here (:

beams.

because clara wanted to do something absolutely ridiculous.
and totally out of her mind,
she's going to the indian ball.

yes,
the indian ball (:

HAHAHAHA!

the mum's arriving tomorrow,
so that's exciting.
good food.
and more shopping.

(:

the gurl's been doing alot of online shopping.
and burning a hugeeeee hole in her pocket.

so yes,
it's time to attempt to minimise the damage.

after a very spontaneous decision to watch wall-e.
EVE-A.
*whenever i do that, siang will shoot me a very fierce glare.
CLAR-A is scared.

and a very spontaneous indian dinner with meelin and oliver at malvern,
the gurl's pocket is still very empty.

and then to dim sum in 2 hours....
OH DEARRRRS.

ok.
toodles for now,
the gurls are arriving soon (:

ok.
i think i might be addicted to swimming.
at least for the moment.

HMMMMMM.

anyhoos.
she's going abit crazy....
finally finished genetics (:
and realised that she had ibs cal prelab.
AT LEAST THIS TIME SHE REMEMBERED THERE WAS CAL.

hahahahahaha!

anyhoos.
the mother has already packed!
and is happily playing mahjong (:

wiggles.

my week has been so eventful i cant remember most of it.

HMM...
the gurl's wondering whether to go for gelato later...
she's lazy.
but she wants baby gelatos.

HMMMMMM.

and she's relying a little too much on sport tapes.
her inflammed tendon is recovering.

but today she went to school wtihout it.
and almost screamed by the end of the day...

HMM....

anyhoos.
what a pointless post.
i shall do the dishes.

baaaaaaaaaa.

so we were back at fifteen (:
with awesome company (: (:

and then overr to 1904 for some crazy convos and dancing (:

"i like the way you flowwwww"

today is the day,
mush fell down outside comm sceaming.
and picked herself and continued screaming.

it needs a mention on this blog (:

BEAMS.

clara was happy.

alright.
although it was a disappointing loss,
i still love the pies (:

so the gurls headed to the games at the g tonight (:
and it was all so exciting.

really funny people sitting around us.
and we had good seats (:
wheeeeeeeeeeeee.

so mr 7 didnt perform as well as he had before.
neither did mr 32.
x(
but there's always next season (:

collingwood vs st kilda
semi finals '08

we were there.
all seven of us.
at the g.